I am a samurai

[Nathan]

I may not have a fancy sword or a swollen rectum but I'm still a samurai at heart dammit. While I don't speak Japanese, I do use umbrellas when it rains out and am thus totally in an eternal ninja-like state of mind. Plus, I wear a big hat made of straw so I'm half way there in terms of the wardrobe requirements. While at first glance none of this really makes any sense whatsoever, I remain confident that if you abstain from wiping your ass for three days straight then you will get an idea of how much better I am than you are. Oh don't look so surprised. Surely you must have known that this was building up to me reminding you all of how much better i am than you. Now fuck off cause nobody likes you.

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

Not cool... samurai's suck.

But me... I am a NINJA... I will out of nowhere just flip out and kick peoples heads off.

 

[BigBazooka]

Hmmmm, I didn't know samurais had swollen rectums.

 

[Nathan]

Hmmmm, I didn't know samurais had swollen rectums.

That's because they don't like to talk about it.

 

[bwood]

samurai jack-off...

 

[KnoXville]

Ok, Is it just me here, or did anyone else find that April girl hot ?

I am of coarse referring to the illustrious channel 5 news broadcaster and legitimate friend of the teenage mutant ninja turtles cartoon series. I forget her first name, but remember she was a big fan of the yellow's and always looked sexually ravishing. Upon the wee age of 12 I would have penis slammed her multiple times, the only thing that bothered me though was those green bastards she lived with, yes the turtles. I couldn’t help but think they were always hitting it behind the scenes before I could and such, like before the camera panned in.

Now keep in mind that I'm no racist here, a speciest maybe and a necrophiliac for sure, but just thinking of those cocky turtle scoundrels ravishing my innocent little April always got me pissed off and angry. Which may explain why I'm not really fond of ninjas, turtles or prepubescent administration of halo. Either way I fell better that I could share this.

 

[Necrophagia]

I am Ninja

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

I am Ninja

You too huh? lets team up and kick that pansie samurai's ass!

 

[supersizeme]

I, being Lo-Pan from Big Trouble in Little China, can whip any samurai and make my eyes glow while doing it. This makes me that much more intimidating.

 

[Nathan]

I, being Lo-Pan from Big Trouble in Little China, can whip any samurai and make my eyes glow while doing it. This makes me that much more intimidating.

Sorry, how much more intimidating?

 

[Necrophagia]

Let's fuck this Samurai up just like the Ninja of old!

 

[hardrock]

Samurai, ninja? Are these code for gay?

 

[Code]

Nathan,

Rent the movie Ghost Dog.

Forrest Whitaker, a modern day samurai.

The movie isn't a comedy, but it ends up being pretty damn funny.