How to handle a controlled delivery?

[The Terminator]

i just never open the fucking door for anyone.

I always make sure to open the door with my Mossberg in hand...that sends them running for cover...

 

[THE_BIG_FED]

I always make sure to open the door with my Mossberg in hand...that sends them running for cover...

I do this and avoid the confrontation.

 

[SofaGeorge]

Another sugestion... when they deliver the package... open the door wearing only a pink feathered boa, high heals, and your girlfriend's thong and bra. Then, as the Fed disguised as a Postman stands there a moment looking a bit shocked, give him a wicked grin, lick your lips and say, "Hi, handsome. Are you really here to deliver?" Emphasize the "deliver" with a little pelvic thrust.

Then, when he asks you to sign for the package, start to sign... but then stop. Study the package for a moment... looking ever increasingly concerned - then shout out, "That's not the Twin Torpedos!" Start walking around in circles, yank at your hair - throw his clip board. Keep repeating, "I've been waiting for weeks for the Twin Torpedos. Weeks" "What am I going to do? The Tower of Power is broken. Besides I can't find batteries for it anymore. They only make those kind in Japan."

Then...

Stop as the realization sets in. Look deep into the Fed/postman's eyes and say, "Do you want me to sign for your package?" with an ever growing lascivious grin spreading across your lips.

At this point he probably will just bob his head up and down. He jsut wants to cuff you and get-the-f-ck-out and take a shower.

Say to him (while rubbing your crotch):

"I'll sign for it if you come inside and show me how you DELIVER! I want you to make my Tower of Power quiver!"

With luck... the Feds will leave with the package and not bother you in the future.

 

[flexed1]

sofa have you been to my house?

 

[Snarf]

Um, the only downside to that idea is if they bust you, you end up in the county lockup in drag. While the cops will be laughing, you will be clinching your buttcheeks together with your back to the wall and praying for your mommy to come get you.

 

[plethos]

Thanks gilly, I just hope they dont have a warrant.

This should be in the legal forum but the warrant will most likely be void if you refuse the package, or at the very least the evidence will be easily disputed and most likely removed from court should they continue with the search. Also expect the raid in the morning probably before the mailman usually comes, and expect it devlivered to your door instead of your mailbox, probably by someone other than your usual mailman if you have one.

 

[DaddyX]

tell them to fuck off and then keep your mouth shut

 

[nashtnman]

How seriously do we have to worry about getting busted, in general? I just assumed that the cops wouldn't really bother casual users. Am I being willfully naive about that? Does it happen more often than you would think? Does it happen to someone who does a cyce once or twice a year, or just to someone who buys in seriously bulk and then resells?

 

[DaddyX]

NashTnMan - really probably depends on what area u live in but i agree it doesnt really seem usual that would bother a casual user. never can be to careful tho

 

[The Terminator]

NashTnMan - really probably depends on what area u live in but i agree it doesnt really seem usual that would bother a casual user. never can be to careful tho

There are people on this board that are far from casual users...