How sexual deviant are you?

[AAP]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

 

[the-short-one]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? yes

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? yes

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? no

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? no

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? yes

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?
maybe
•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? yes

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? no

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? maybe

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? no

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? no

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? no

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? no

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

no.

 

[boxerjake]

no
yes
no
no
no -her's though
yes
no
no
yes
no
yes
no
no
no-glad to be rid of them

 

[hotzie]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?
no
• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?
yes
• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?
no
•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?
no
•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?
yes
•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?
yes
•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?
yes
•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
yes
•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?
yes
•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
no
•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? yes

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?
yes
•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?
no
•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person? yes

..

 

[MrMuscle]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? Yes

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? No

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? No

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? No

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? No

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? No

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? No

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? Yes

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? Yes

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? Yes

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? No

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? No

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? No

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

No

 

[stilleto]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? No

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? Yes

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? NO

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? lol.. kinda.

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? No

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? Never

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? No

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? Not usually.

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? I guess so, but i don't.

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? NO!

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? Probably

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? No

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? Nope

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?[/QUOTE] No

 

[rnch]

how many do YOU answer "yes" to, AAP?

 

[blueta2]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?
YES

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? NO

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? NO

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? NO

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? EWWWWWWWWW

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? Too classy for that!

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? OH YEAH !

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
I would not be calling my ex

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? Only if they are hot !!!!

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? Prob not! Unless the person giving the massage is a troll!

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? Again, too classy for that !

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? Ummm.....ok so I am not that classy...yes I have!

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? nope

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

Only when we broke up. Now I wish only that his dick and hair fall out..hehe !

 

[AAP]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? The men yes, the women no. But only because the # of women outnumber the men 10 to 1

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? Yes. (4)

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?
No

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?
Yes.

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?
No

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? No

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? Not necessarily

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
Sometimes. It usually involved me holding them under the water until the twitching stops.

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?
Depends on what he looks like.

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
Yes. There is no way you think about sex when getting a deep tissue myofascia work done. Unless of course you get turned on by S&M and torture type shit.

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?
No. But they have tried with me.

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?
No. Though it would be cool to see the reasons they are giving everyone for why we no longer date.

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?
No

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?
No. And the sad thing is that there are people out there that this applies too and would feel this way, yet they will never admit it.

 

[PBR]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?...all but one.

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? ...yes

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? ..no

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? ...no

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?...no

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? ...at a later time- it was mutual

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?...yes

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?...yes

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?...it happens

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?...yes

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? ...no

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? ....no

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? ...no

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

...no

 

[theoak01]

]• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? NO
IVe fucked a few strippers who only told me their stage name
• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?
YES
• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? NO

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? NO

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? YES

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? NO

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? YES

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?NO

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? YES

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? NO

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? NO

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? NO

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? NO

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person? FUCK NO

 

[stilleto]

mine and AAP's answers are almost the same.

 

[Dial_tone]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you've slept with? YES

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? If I include Fistina, yes

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? Phonesex is alot of things but obscene ain't one of them. Actually, yes but not til the 3rd or 4th call...turned out to be someone a friend of mine talked into doing it. She had a hot voice, sue me!

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn't speak your language? Does Ebonics count as a foreign language?

•Have you ever had sex in your parent's bed? EWWW!

•Have you ever hit on a friend's date? NO, low class

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? Probably 50/50

•You call up your ex and they say they'll call you back because they're just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? Damn straight

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend's spouse? Not in my book, although I can't say whether or not I've actually done it.

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? Only if the masseur is a 250 lb guy named Vinny.

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? Guilty as charged.

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex's answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? Next question

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people's faces cut out? I have one pic with somebody cut of it.

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person? I'd rather see of them dead than drinking iced tea.

 

[eat big]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?
Yes, no one.
• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?
Nope.
• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?
Yes.
•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?
No.
•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?
Almost.
•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?
No.
•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?
Yes.
•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
Yes.
•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?
Sure.
•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
Depends on the giver.
•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?
No.
•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?
No.
•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?
No.
•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?
Fuck No.

Answers.

 

[rnch]

I can answer yes to 5 of these questions.

 

[Tytan]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? No

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? yes

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? no

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? yes

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? no

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? yes

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? yes

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? no

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? yes

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? no

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? yes

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? no

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? no

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

no

 

[Sassy69]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? a few escape me from the early years

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? Yes

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? no, but a roommate in college talked to a guy who called our dorm for like 2 hrs.

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? he wasn't what I'd call "fluent"

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? no, not even in the same state as my parents.

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? once waaaay back in college, was mutual

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? yes

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? hell ya, i wanna know how they can be sure they will be REALLY CLEAN w/o some help???

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? I think it is because some people just have something that sticks in your mind, regardless of the relationships around them -- the point is to not obsess or act on it - it happens. no i've never had it happen tho.

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
If its a massage to fix something I messed up in the gym, probably too sore to think about anything but how fucking sore I am, but otherwise, hell ya. The associations -- I dated a guy for a yr who was an LMT and gave by far the best erotic and therapeutic massages I've ever had -- hard to mentally seperate the two
•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? No, but i did get one back for "here's the last one, thx, it was fun, never happen again" sex. Not sure what he thought he was gettign but he needed to get the message... I have no desire to play games or hurt people but in this case, it was a lot of mindfuck on his part while we dated and I should've known better, but I never did that to anyone and couldnt' fathom how someone could do that to me ... d'oh. Live and learn. It was actually a pretty cool feeling to have just the sex but w/ no feelings associated with it -- just once.
•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? No.

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? No. If I didnt' want the memories, I just threw out the pix. Some I've just set aside until there's no more negative emotion associated w/ the person. Over time I don't really have a hate feelign for anyone I've been invovled with.

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

No. All I ever wish for my ex's is that they are honestly happy in whatever they choose. Or if they have a habit of using people or fucking them over, then I hope eventually they learn a lesson. To carry that feelings of that much emotion (want the ex dead), is just waaay to much negative shit to drag along in life. I only have control over myself & my life. The rest is not my problem, my responsibility.

 

[WarriorPL]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? YES

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? NO

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? NO

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? NO

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? NO, but hers

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? YES, then went out with her for 8 months

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? YES

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? YES

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? YES

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? YES

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? NO

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? YES

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? NO

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person? NO

 

[milo hobgoblin]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?

LOL.. you must be kidding

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?

Yes.. 3

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?

No..

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?

yes

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?

no.. moved out too young

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?

yes

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?

LOL.. I think about how well that matress is gonna stand up to the ridiculous amount of cum and lube thats gonna get sprayed all over it.

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?

ya.. my ex fiance is pretty hot.

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies
about a friend''''s spouse?

ROFL Ive fucked half of my friends spouses... of course most of my friends are swingers too.. so does that still count?

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?

this is a rhetorical question?

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?

yup.. works well

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?

yup..

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?

no..

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

no.. I get turned on thinking about them fucking someone else..

 

[slat1]

Here is a more expansive test:

http://thebigfly.tripod.com/corruptiontest/index.htm

 

[slat1]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?

NO
• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?
YES

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?
NO

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?
YES. MULTIPLE TIMES

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?
YES

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?
YES

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?
YES

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
YES

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?
YES

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
NO

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?
YES

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?
NO

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?
NO

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

NO

 

[foreigngirl]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? YES

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? NO

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? NO

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? NO

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? YES

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? NO

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? YES

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? NO

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? NO

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? YES

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? NO

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? NO

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? NO

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person? NO

 

[HiDnGoD]

I'm not gonna bother going through the list, but on a scale of 1-10, I'd be a nine for deviancy.

 

[theoak01]

I'm not gonna bother going through the list, but on a scale of 1-10, I'd be a nine for deviancy.

thats good bro material right there

 

[Island Son]

I was expecting a scale of "single feather" to "stuffing the chicken".
This isn't deviant, and it's all chick questions. From AAP's last Cosmo.

 

[Sassy69]

Honestly, relative to all the shit I've classified as "deviant", I don't really consider those questions to be indicators of much deviance.....

 

[manny78]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? NO MAYBE HALF OF THEM

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? YES

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? NO NEVER

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? YES ONCE IN SPAIN, I BELIEVE SHE WAS A NORWEGIAN.

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? YES

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? YES AND NOT PROUD OF IT

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? YES

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? NO

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? YES ITS OK

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? VERY HARD NOT TO THINK ABOUT SEX, IN FACT I THINK ABOUT SEX ALL DAY LONG...LOL

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? NO NEED FOR THAT

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? NO

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? LOL NO

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person? LOL AGAIN NO I ONLY WISH DEATH TO CERTAIN PEOPLE, EXS ARE NOT IN THIS CATEGORY

 

[msam76]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

yes
no
yes
no
no
no
yes
yes
yes
no
yes
no
no

 

[Mr. dB]

''''

 

[GoldenDelicious]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with?

fucker, you drove me crazy with that one. yes. fucking nicola, you bitch

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?

no comment

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?

next question please

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language?

no. we both spoke goodlookinese

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed?

how far are we to go with technicalities on this one?

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date?

it wasnt my fault

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep?

they come in equal first. my other name is garfield

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?

screw mentally, just insert yourself into the picture

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse?

yep

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?

from a hot girl in my bedroom? no
from the fat sweaty MALE chiro? yes

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?

lured as in carried, yes

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?

yep

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out?

no, ruining photos is a sin

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

no, once im done with them they can become megastars or have their skin turned into a dress by a madman, i dont care

 

[Longhorn85]

• Can you remember the names of everyone you''''ve slept with? YES

• Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day? NO

• Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them? NO

•Have you ever had sex with someone who didn''''t speak your language? NO

•Have you ever had sex in your parents'''' bed? NO

•Have you ever hit on a friend''''s date? No, but I've made out with/felt up a stranger's date within an hour of meeting her.

•You and your spouse/date/sig. other are shopping for mattresses. Do you think about how the sex will be, rather than the sleep? OF COURSE, that is the primary consideration

•You call up your ex and they say they''''ll call you back because they''''re just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture? I've never really had an ex. I dated but no long-term relationship until marriage.

•Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend''''s spouse? YES

•Can you get a massage without thinking about sex? NO, which is why I can't understand why they have masseurs in the men's locker room.

•Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back? See three questions above

•Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex''''s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages? See four questions above

•Do you have photo albums of pictures with people''''s faces cut out? NO

•Would you rather see any of your exes dead than in the arms of another person?

See six questions above

 

[Mr. dB]

Okay what's with all the superfluous apostrophes?

 

[EnderJE]

So, basically, we're all a bunch of sluts.