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I am having a little problem trying to decide my gayness level for today. What should I do?
Gay Rating 1 - Invisigay. Gay but you don't know it. I sometimes think the odd thoughts about other guys, in a non-crush kind of way that is, and I refrain from using words like "fierce" and "fabulous".
Gay Rating 2 - My shoes and belts match. I point out a coworkers highlights look like crap.
Gay Rating 3 - I host a Pinkies Up Pink Cosmo Party tonight. I have 42 various kinds of crackers and 16 kinds of cheese that smell like feet. My issue of the Advocate comes in the mail today. I refer to my mother as Queen Dorothy.
Gay Rating 4 - I'm flaming. I visit the Potter Barn. Twice. I go to the gym and in between cell phone calls, I do 613 sets of various exercises for abs and 1019 sets for glutes. I can contract my glutes so hard that it will pull the contacts out of peoples eyes standing 6 feet away. I recruit 3 innocent unsuspecting Christians I find in the sauna into the gay lifestyle. My plans for world domination get closer. I drive to another gym. And key my ex's car. I rush home and waiting for the soon-to-be forthcoming phone call from said ex. I deny it. Totally. Then I invite him over to show me the scratch on his car. He arrives. I tell him I still love him. We have sex. I never see the car at all. I tell him that I really don't love him and just wanted to have sex and now I remember why I dumped him because the sex was so bad. He cries. I laugh. He leaves. I call everyone but Channel 10 to tell them what a moron he is. I go online and hook up. He comes over. I tell myself once again that internet profiles lie. He gets the boot. I call an old fuckbuddy. I go to bed tonight with a dick in my mouth. I wake up with a dick in my bed. I show said dickhead the front door. I make a note to take dickhead number out of my cellphone. I don't.
Gay Rating 5 - I log in as Hansel. Liberace ain't got shit on me.
Gay Rating 1 - Invisigay. Gay but you don't know it. I sometimes think the odd thoughts about other guys, in a non-crush kind of way that is, and I refrain from using words like "fierce" and "fabulous".
Gay Rating 2 - My shoes and belts match. I point out a coworkers highlights look like crap.
Gay Rating 3 - I host a Pinkies Up Pink Cosmo Party tonight. I have 42 various kinds of crackers and 16 kinds of cheese that smell like feet. My issue of the Advocate comes in the mail today. I refer to my mother as Queen Dorothy.
Gay Rating 4 - I'm flaming. I visit the Potter Barn. Twice. I go to the gym and in between cell phone calls, I do 613 sets of various exercises for abs and 1019 sets for glutes. I can contract my glutes so hard that it will pull the contacts out of peoples eyes standing 6 feet away. I recruit 3 innocent unsuspecting Christians I find in the sauna into the gay lifestyle. My plans for world domination get closer. I drive to another gym. And key my ex's car. I rush home and waiting for the soon-to-be forthcoming phone call from said ex. I deny it. Totally. Then I invite him over to show me the scratch on his car. He arrives. I tell him I still love him. We have sex. I never see the car at all. I tell him that I really don't love him and just wanted to have sex and now I remember why I dumped him because the sex was so bad. He cries. I laugh. He leaves. I call everyone but Channel 10 to tell them what a moron he is. I go online and hook up. He comes over. I tell myself once again that internet profiles lie. He gets the boot. I call an old fuckbuddy. I go to bed tonight with a dick in my mouth. I wake up with a dick in my bed. I show said dickhead the front door. I make a note to take dickhead number out of my cellphone. I don't.
Gay Rating 5 - I log in as Hansel. Liberace ain't got shit on me.
