How do you maintain a relationship?

[luxury]

I know it may sound like an odd thread topic. I'm just curious how relationships even work. I've never had one for more than a couple of months.

Should you still play mind games after a certain period of time? How does initiating contact with the other person work? Do you contact them one time to hang out, and then wait until they contact you the next time? Should you hang out as much as possilbe or as much as you like, or should you go days without hanging out not to look needy? Should you always sleep over after sex? How many times a week should you be having sex?

I really am clueless when it comes to this stuff. I have no problem picking girls up, but when it comes to making it last I fail every single time. The reason might be that at the beginning I have no feelings for them so I draw them in. But the more time we date I usually start to act differently around them and may appear even clingy.

The last relationship I had ended about a week ago when the girl I was seeing cheated on me... and with an ugly guy to boot. I want to be able to finally know how to act when in a relationship so that I can maintain one.

Thanks in advance for any input.

 

[nimbus]

why do you want to be in a relationship so bad?

 

[luxury]

It's not about me wanting a relationship bad, I just want to know how to act once I do get in one so I don't fuck it up again.

 

[nimbus]

It's not about me wanting a relationship bad, I just want to know how to act once I do get in one so I don't fuck it up again.

if you have to 'act' in a relationship what's the point?

 

[Gymgurl]

How about mutual respect and trust....That will get you a very long way...

 

[Smurfy]

I know it may sound like an odd thread topic. I'm just curious how relationships even work. I've never had one for more than a couple of months.

Should you still play mind games after a certain period of time? How does initiating contact with the other person work? Do you contact them one time to hang out, and then wait until they contact you the next time? Should you hang out as much as possilbe or as much as you like, or should you go days without hanging out not to look needy? Should you always sleep over after sex? How many times a week should you be having sex?

I really am clueless when it comes to this stuff. I have no problem picking girls up, but when it comes to making it last I fail every single time. The reason might be that at the beginning I have no feelings for them so I draw them in. But the more time we date I usually start to act differently around them and may appear even clingy.

The last relationship I had ended about a week ago when the girl I was seeing cheated on me... and with an ugly guy to boot. I want to be able to finally know how to act when in a relationship so that I can maintain one.

Thanks in advance for any input.

Hey Steve

 

[luxury]

lol... come on guys. give me some real input.

 

[nimbus]

change its oil every 7,500 miles

 

[musclemom]

Should you still play mind games after a certain period of time?

Holy shit, how old are you? There is no point in a relationship, no matter how serious or how casual, that mind games are required or even appropriate. Get the hell out of junior high.

How does initiating contact with the other person work?

You pick the phone up, and call. If you get their voice mail or answering machine (yes, some of us still have that) you leave a message, you leave your number, you wait for them to call you back. If they don't contact you within 24 to 48 hours, you are permitted ONE more call, that is a polite message stating when you LAST called, and you were afraid that they missed your message (it happens), anything more than that is a stalker territory. Particularly in the very beginning always make sure they know 1) who is calling (in other words, say "Hi, this is steve smith, we met at so-and-so's and were talking about blah-blah-blah ..." 2) how they can reach you (don't assume they have caller I.D., leave your number and ideally a good time to call when they can get you in person, it's polite, but point out you have voice mail/answering machine, whatever) 3) that you're really looking forward to hearing from them/enjoyed meeting them and then get out. Overly long, rambling telephone messages fall into freak category.

Do you contact them one time to hang out, and then wait until they contact you the next time?

See above. Don't be a pest, don't become a stalker.

Should you hang out as much as possilbe or as much as you like, or should you go days without hanging out not to look needy?

Depends on what their curfew is like

Should you always sleep over after sex?

This falls into the category of "COMMUNICATION." You ask "Can I spend the night?" or you state up front "I won't be able to spend the night, I have to ..." (and for christ's sake, have a good reason. And if you HAVE to go home, don't hump and run, snuggle for a while, girls like that shit).

How many times a week should you be having sex?

Shit, I've been married or in a committed relationship more than 23 years total and I still don't know the perfect answer to that question. Do it when you both feel like, don't feel rejected if she's not in the mood, make sure she doesn't feel unattractive if you're not in the mood (it happens).

 

[silverstar1025]

Do not play mind games... I am assuming you aren't in high school so don't act like it with the games. There are three things you need good communication, respect, and trust. It's all good if you can balance all of those important things.