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How do you break it to someone that your seeing that
- Thread starter Arabian
- Start date
Bikini Mod
New member
What you say makes no sense. He was still drinking heavily and making decisions that were not proper. Unfortunately SHE happened to be one of them. We are talking about adults here, this isn't high school where a girl's elbow accidentally touched her dentist's arm while he was cleaning her teeth and she feels that this was some sort of "cosmic kiss." He was drinking heavily (as if she didn't notice) and she happened to be a warm moist willing hole. Now he is sober and *cough* he doesn't care to *go there* anymore regardless of how willing that hole still is.
He feels badly enough about how this transpired I am sure. He doesn't need to be guilted into NOT getting out of it because of *universal payback*. He is already suffering the consequences of his poor decision making. There is no *down the road* Karma here. He is LIVING IT IN THE HERE AND NOW.
He is clearly wanting to change his karma (change his path because he doesn't like where he ended up) by choosing a different path. Getting sober was what led him to decide that this girl just is NOT for him. He should feel badly about this because?
As Layinback said, BE HONEST...
Yea, the email thing is a pussy way out (I volunteered that) but so? She wasn't his longterm live in girlfriend of 6 years. She was some broad that was silly enough to get emotionally attached to a man who had a serious drinking problem. I know this seems harsh but in these case often times THE ONLY WAY to get the job done properly is to be straight, harsh and to the point... Sometimes the bigger dick a guy is the more a chick will chase him!
Arabian needs to break it down for her that he just does not return her feelings and that she should be free to find someone who DOES because that is what SHE DESERVES. He should not feel badly that he does not feel towards her what she does for him regardless of what she did or did not do for him. Good people don't help others expecting that other person to give them something back... Arabian need only pay her kindness forward. <--- That, my friend, is karma.
bw1
Banned
You sit down like a grownup and tell her what you've told us, just in a kinder fashion, making sure you emphasize what an utter and complete shit you are. The best thing you can do is face her, potentially allowing her to unload on you and call you every name in the book and get over any anger she has with you (instead of harboring it and unloading it on the next poor schmuck who stumbles into her life). Then you slink the fuck away like the dog you are and feel badly for a few days, like you should. And if you feel badly enough then next time maybe you won't do stupid shit like getting your life too tightly entwined with someone with whom you don't have an emotional connection.
bw1
Banned
What you say makes no sense. He was still drinking heavily and making decisions that were not proper. Unfortunately SHE happened to be one of them. We are talking about adults here, this isn't high school where a girl's elbow accidentally touched her dentist's arm while he was cleaning her teeth and she feels that this was some sort of "cosmic kiss." He was drinking heavily (as if she didn't notice) and she happened to be a warm moist willing hole. Now he is sober and *cough* he doesn't care to *go there* anymore regardless of how willing that hole still is.
He feels badly enough about how this transpired I am sure. He doesn't need to be guilted into NOT getting out of it because of *universal payback*. He is already suffering the consequences of his poor decision making. There is no *down the road* Karma here. He is LIVING IT IN THE HERE AND NOW.
He is clearly wanting to change his karma (change his path because he doesn't like where he ended up) by choosing a different path. Getting sober was what led him to decide that this girl just is NOT for him. He should feel badly about this because?
As Layinback said, BE HONEST...
Yea, the email thing is a pussy way out (I volunteered that) but so? She wasn't his longterm live in girlfriend of 6 years. She was some broad that was silly enough to get emotionally attached to a man who had a serious drinking problem. I know this seems harsh but in these case often times THE ONLY WAY to get the job done properly is to be straight, harsh and to the point... Sometimes the bigger dick a guy is the more a chick will chase him!
Arabian needs to break it down for her that he just does not return her feelings and that she should be free to find someone who DOES because that is what SHE DESERVES. He should not feel badly that he does not feel towards her what she does for him regardless of what she did or did not do for him. Good people don't help others expecting that other person to give them something back... Arabian need only pay her kindness forward. <--- That, my friend, is karma.
^^^^^Make her read this book of a post^^^^^^^ She'll fall asleep by time she gets to the end. Then you can bolt, she won't even remember who you are by time she wakes up.
Bikini Mod
New member
Meh... MM I don't see how what he did was so terrible. I mean men do this shit all the time.
What I am saying is that she was a grown ass woman and CHOSE to get involved with someone who had a serious drinking problem and that part is 100% on her.I don't think he is a total asshole. He was drinking heavily. Now he's not. When he was drinking too much she had some appeal to him. Now that he is sober, she don't AT ALL.
One of the reasons why I tell peeps that drink/get high or in an otherwise altered state that "just because they never missed a day of work/school" that doesn't mean that their judgement isn't impaired on a regular basis.
How many people have sobered up and realized "Oh shit I don't REALLY like the people that I liked when I was drinking/doing drugs"? And I am not just talking about sexual attraction. I am talking about nearly EVER aspect of life?
seaking420
New member
That actually is the opposite for me. When I take a few weeks off from smoking(dosent happen often)I hate the sober people even more....at least when Im stoned I can tolerate them.
Didnt know arabien had a drinking problem
Bikini Mod
New member
Not the opposite. You just said that when you aren't under the influence then you don't make the same decisions regarding who is around you.
Arabian came out on the boards a couple weeks back celebrating his sobriety. Apparently he had been drinking pretty heavily and made some really REALLY bad decisions where he could have done far more harm then just to break a woman's heart.
I, for one, think he should be applauded for coming out of the haze and wanting to get on with making POSITIVE changes in his life. Feeling badly about getting involved with another ADULT when he was drinking heavily that now he realizes wasn't such a good decision is not something that will accomplish more positive action. He should tell her in a polite but definite manner that he simply does not return her feelings and he feels that she should be free to find someone who does as this is what WE ALL deserve.
If she can't handle that, then that is on her.
See, part of the thing with sobriety is you have to be willing to face people you have done wrong by and admit it and apologize.Meh... MM I don't see how what he did was so terrible. I mean men do this shit all the time.
I don't think he is a total asshole. He was drinking heavily. Now he's not. When he was drinking too much she had some appeal to him. Now that he is sober, she don't AT ALL.
One of the reasons why I tell peeps that drink/get high or in an otherwise altered state that "just because they never missed a day of work/school" that doesn't mean that their judgement isn't impaired on a regular basis.
How many people have sobered up and realized "Oh shit I don't REALLY like the people that I liked when I was drinking/doing drugs"? And I am not just talking about sexual attraction. I am talking about nearly EVER aspect of life?
I'm not saying what he did was so wrong, I exaggerated a pinch for effect. I just think if she spent a lot of time on helping him then he should at least give her the courtesy of dumping her to her face.
What I hear in between the lines is you're saying: "The woman was fool enough to be with a drunk, she doesn't deserve much respect because she doesn't respect herself." Well, Arabian also chose to be a drunk and maybe she really thought he needed her (some chicks have a serious problem with trying to rescue the world). Now he's choosing not to be a drunk, but in this situation I personally think the least he can do is break it off, ASAP, and apologize to the woman, and he should do it to her face.
Let's face it, he would never have created this thread if he wasn't trying to find some way to weasel out of doing the right thing, anyway
We ALWAYS know, in our hearts, what the right thing is, we just like to tell ourselves there's an easier answer somewhere. But the truth of life is that the right thing is almost always the hardest thing, the unpleasant fact, the bandaid over the hairiest part of your body that has to come off.
