How can I become a cooler?

[supersizeme]

For those of you in the bouncing field, I would like to know what it takes to rise to the top rank of the bouncing echelon and achieve "cooler" status. I feel that at this point in my life, I am more than qualified to be the best damn cooler in the business. For one, after most people meet me and find out that I'm a UNIX administrator for a telecom company, they usually respond with, "I thought you'd be bigger." I have aspirations of one day owning a Mercedes coupe with chrome rims that I drive in seceret. I am good at telling people that they are "too stupid to have a good time." Whenever I meet someone new, I'm always cautious of their right boot. I have a 50 year old friend with a thick ass mustache who I have nicknamed "meeho." He calls me "meeho" back, too. Most people hate pain, but I'm one of those guys who thinks that pain don't hurt. I perform self-surgery. I once kicked this guy's ass who wore a cross earring and tried to beat me up with a pool cue. That man also lost his throat eventually. This one girl named Carrie Ann wants me fuck her really badly. She's always coming over in the morning and bringing me coffee and an egg mcmuffin, but I never eat the mcmuffin, instead opting to drink the coffee and light up a cigarette. Given all these things, let's say I switch careers over to the bouncing industry. Will I have to start out at the bottom of the food chain as a lowly bouncer, or will I be able to start out as a cooler immediately?

 

[AAP]

The question is... would people say "what's up BRO?"

 

[The Shadow]

follow aaps 60 reps w/o program and you to can be the baddest mofo around.



LOL

 

[fistfullofsteel]

you might want to start at a small bar and move up. don't want to player hate but a man has to know his limitations.

 

[-SD-]

This is the greatest idea ever.

 

[supersizeme]

This whole idea is completely irrelevant to my status as a bro. I am bro eternal. All of my efforts in anything I do in life can only be described as "brolific." I simply want to know whether I should start telling people that it's my way or the highway.

 

[AAP]

follow aaps 60 reps w/o program and you to can be the baddest mofo around.

God damn right man. You will be putting Dalton out of business.

 

[Frackal]

How does one ascend from mere 'bro-ness' into a sheer broly state of being?

 

[Bigsatan13]

For those of you in the bouncing field, I would like to know what it takes to rise to the top rank of the bouncing echelon and achieve "cooler" status. I feel that at this point in my life, I am more than qualified to be the best damn cooler in the business. For one, after most people meet me and find out that I'm a UNIX administrator for a telecom company, they usually respond with, "I thought you'd be bigger." I have aspirations of one day owning a Mercedes coupe with chrome rims that I drive in seceret. I am good at telling people that they are "too stupid to have a good time." Whenever I meet someone new, I'm always cautious of their right boot. I have a 50 year old friend with a thick ass mustache who I have nicknamed "meeho." He calls me "meeho" back, too. Most people hate pain, but I'm one of those guys who thinks that pain don't hurt. I perform self-surgery. I once kicked this guy's ass who wore a cross earring and tried to beat me up with a pool cue. That man also lost his throat eventually. This one girl named Carrie Ann wants me fuck her really badly. She's always coming over in the morning and bringing me coffee and an egg mcmuffin, but I never eat the mcmuffin, instead opting to drink the coffee and light up a cigarette. Given all these things, let's say I switch careers over to the bouncing industry. Will I have to start out at the bottom of the food chain as a lowly bouncer, or will I be able to start out as a cooler immediately?

No the key is to have a "devoted" fan club that trashes your piece of shit car, not your secret Mercedes, everynight. Then you will have achieved Cooler status.

 

[WODIN]

Slap some synth into your pecs, bis,delts and forearms. Get a pet aligator and call him tinker bell. Find the baddest looking Gaucho outfit you can find. Then find a nice upscale gay bar to work in. You'll be known from L.A. to Miami as Caucho! The alligator loving bouncer.