hooooooooooooooooly sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! internet dating is not teh suck!

[SaladFork]

Yeah, I could tell she wanted it rough, she made that pretty clear when she whispered in my ear. But just because she wants to be beaten in bed doesn't mean I want it back.

I'd kill for a really boring girl in bed right now, this shit is just too much.

Hehe, really? You want a dead fish, a chick who just sits here? Fuck that!

 

[bw1]

Yeah, I could tell she wanted it rough, she made that pretty clear when she whispered in my ear. But just because she wants to be beaten in bed doesn't mean I want it back.

I'd kill for a really boring girl in bed right now, this shit is just too much.

Don't be a fag, Nancy

 

[puddlemonkey]

My ex fiance who was into kick boxing, one night thought it would be fun to tie me up and ride me while wearing her boxing gloves (true story)... bad idea. I took a few good slugs to the face then got pissed. She used to always slap me during sex, I was not down.

Good to hear, I was starting to think maybe its not them and its some vibe I give off. Oh, this girl also damn near ripped my nipple clean off.

 

[puddlemonkey]

Hehe, really? You want a dead fish, a chick who just sits here? Fuck that!

Right now that would be a really nice change of pace. I'm getting too old for this shit.

 

[SaladFork]

Right now that would be a really nice change of pace. I'm getting too old for this shit.

I'm 100% opposite... The bigger the freak the more I like them.

 

[puddlemonkey]

I'm 100% opposite... The bigger the freak the more I like them.

Boy do I have some girls for you.

 

[SaladFork]

Boy do I have some girls for you.

Im back on, I could handle 3-4 chicks a night.

 

[guest username]

I lasted 1 day on Match.com... Match is 95% fat bitches.

Another 4.9% of them need anti-psychotic meds.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Not true at all... once one learns the weed out process and how to put themselves out there to attract more of those they want, it is a lot of fun.

 

[puddlemonkey]

Okie dokie, just got off the phone with the one I slept with last night. Here's how the convo went:

Puddle: Hello?
Her: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii, how was work?
Puddle: Same shit different day, you already home?
Her: I have something I need to tell you.
Puddle: uh, ok.
*pause*
Her: I might have a problem.
Puddle: Why?
Her: I'm waiting for the police to come to my house right now.
Puddle: Why?
Her: Remember my last ex I told you about?
Puddle: Yeah, why are the police coming to your house?
Her: Well, what I didn't tell you was he kinda took out a restraining order on me.
Puddle: Ok, why?
Her: And about a week and a half ago I may have called him.
Puddle: Just once?
Her: I dunno, 4-5 times. No more than that though.
Her: I gotta go they just pulled up, I'll call you tomorrow *click*
Puddle: Don't be calling me from jail!



STALKER ALERT!!!