Hillarious website - FML

[Razorguns]

Fuck My Life. lol!

F*** my life : Everyday life top stories

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[Razorguns]

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

Posted by EF User.

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[Razorguns]

Today, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML

Definately EF one.

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[Mr. dB]

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

 

[Mr. dB]

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

 

[nimbus]

great find bromar garciaparra

 

[puddlemonkey]

I don't get it.

 

[Razorguns]

I don't get it.

That's because you haven't discovered craigslist and a credit card.

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[myway]

I love it!

 

[chris302001]

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

 

[myway]

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her exiting her room....my electric tothbrush in her hand. FML

 

[ortiz34]

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML


olololol

 

[ortiz34]

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax.

 

[chewyxrage]

All seems like made up shit to me. Anyone of us could throw 20-30 of those one liners out there in an hour or two.

 

[ortiz34]

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him having sex with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together.

 

[ortiz34]

ololol beached whale




Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad proceeded to warn me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean".

 

[chris302001]

ololol beached whale




Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad proceeded to warn me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean".

omg thats horrible! lolol