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Have you ever...

masturbated at work

  • YES

    Votes: 25 62.5%

  • NO

    Votes: 15 37.5%
  • Total voters
    40
I worked for a place called Campus Concepts in like 2000, selling free ads in a college mag. I masturbated every single day there - it was a running joke with my colleagues. That was also the summer where chat rooms just started coming out, so we would log on to MTV chat (God I miss that place) and just e-fuck everything with a pulse.

Good times
 
I actually streamed some porn on the computer and whacked off earlier this morning at work.

Seriously.
 
holy shit, yes, today for the first time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg

why u ask, I just started my melanotan 2 on fri, shit makes your wee stay hard for hours (.5mg am and pm) I was wooded out from 7 till around 9:30, so I went and rubbed one out to make it go away, it was hurting...
 
FEISTY11975 said:
if ya woulda said yes....I woulda been sick
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I have thought about it once or twice but I cant do that even if I wash my hands its still just sick.I take pride in the food I make.that would just defile it.lol
 
needtogetas said:
I have thought about it once or twice but I cant do that even if I wash my hands its still just sick.I take pride in the food I make.that would just defile it.lol
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Yep it would or it would make the food salty! hahahaha
 
I try to limit it to once a day.
I think four times in one day at work is my personal record.
 
nope..but I've gone home to rub one out.

And sadly, I own my own company and I'm the only person in my building.
 
gotta do SOMETHING to make an 8-turned-into-12-turned-into 16 hour shift go by!
 
FISHTALES said:
holy shit, yes, today for the first time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg

why u ask, I just started my melanotan 2 on fri, shit makes your wee stay hard for hours (.5mg am and pm) I was wooded out from 7 till around 9:30, so I went and rubbed one out to make it go away, it was hurting...
Click to expand...

wtf is melanotan??
 
jnevin said:
yep. Been laid at work, done drugs and been drunk at work...
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if uncle sam and the shit heel managment staff ever make good on their threat of mandatory drug testing, i suspect at least 1/3 of my fellow co-workers would suddenly deceide to take early retirement.
 
rnch said:
if uncle sam and the shit heel managment staff ever make good on their threat of mandatory drug testing, i suspect at least 1/3 of my fellow co-workers would suddenly deceide to take early retirement.
Click to expand...

I am all about free enterprise and non-interference as long as the job is done satisfactorily and have been in a few different lines of work (some bars and clubs) and NEVER have I been high, drunk or otherwise conducted myself improperly while I was on the clock. WTF are some people thinking? And to brag about it... whatever, that is their gig.

Call me a prude, but I couldn't masterbate at work. Hell, I couldnt even do it in MY BEDROOM if my girls were home with me in the house.

As long as the boss dont mind and nobody is getting hurt, carry on. But for me, sorry I dont roll like that.
 
rnch said:
if uncle sam and the shit heel managment staff ever make good on their threat of mandatory drug testing, i suspect at least 1/3 of my fellow co-workers would suddenly deceide to take early retirement.
Click to expand...


The post in question involved a realtor, 8-ball, bottle of Grey Goose, and an empty office. It was another life ago.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I am all about free enterprise and non-interference as long as the job is done satisfactorily and have been in a few different lines of work (some bars and clubs) and NEVER have I been high, drunk or otherwise conducted myself improperly while I was on the clock. WTF are some people thinking? And to brag about it... whatever, that is their gig.

Call me a prude, but I couldn't masterbate at work. Hell, I couldnt even do it in MY BEDROOM if my girls were home with me in the house.

As long as the boss dont mind and nobody is getting hurt, carry on. But for me, sorry I dont roll like that.
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pls take a midol, dawlin'.
 
Masturbating at work is a preventative measure I take so I don't get caught having sex on my desk with the cute girls at work.

You only want to go through that meeting with your boss once..

him "soooo, sex on your desk huh?"

me "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat"

him "so and so saw you"

me "never happened"

him "was is good"

me "yeah"

him "dude, don't get caught next time"

me "anything else"

him "what about so and so. There is a rumor you two went at it in the parking lot. How was that?"

me "can I go?"

him "I am your boss (laughing). I have to ask these things"

me "it was good. I broke my seat though"

him "anyone else?"

me "you tell me"

him "dude, just jerk it in the handicap stall if you can't control yourself"

me "will do"

That is a true story btw.
 
Last edited:
slat, i'll trade my uptight shitheel managers for yours in a heartbeat!! the "peter principle" is the guiding code for civil service management advancement.
 
no....ive never even had sex at work. and the bad thing is, it would be so easy.( to have sex)....jackin off -could care less about.
 
PBR said:
no....ive never even had sex at work. and the bad thing is, it would be so easy.( to have sex)....jackin off -could care less about.
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i nailed my wife on my conference table. . .i have my own practice though so no biggie :)
 
Holy Shit are you shitting me?

LOL! @ the results. I am going to look funny at the people who use the bathroom frequently and see if they look away! LOL!
 
digimon7068 said:
i nailed my wife on my conference table. . .i have my own practice though so no biggie :)
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thats cool bro..it still counts in my book. nice it was your wife.
actually- ya know i did my wife (at the time) at her work, a couple of times. it was way hot. i forgot about that. i forgot about her.
 
when i worked in the strip club i had to. i wouldnt sleep with the nasty strippers but that didnt mean they didnt make me horny. call me weird but it was better than the other option which was to bang one of the strippers. i had them flat out ask me if i wanna get laid, the look on their face was priceless when i said no. they are used to guys that would do anything to sleep with them. i guess its true, you always want what you cant have.
 
am I male? EVERY man has, even if they didn't ejaculate, they've done something... even if they are cooking with food. You can't tell me that you have never massaged yourself or anything that felt good while at work

Whiskey
 
I will never see company restrooms the same. I've been stepping in cum all these years.
 
I have never masterbated at work but I did have sex at work, once. It was with my husband.
All of the cops I know from work talk about masterbating at work-- ALL THE DAMN TIME. Some say it's why they go to night shift.
 
myway said:
I have never masterbated at work but I did have sex at work, once. It was with my husband.
All of the cops I know from work talk about masterbating at work-- ALL THE DAMN TIME. Some say it's why they go to night shift.
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you mean you dont get any stinky finger at work?
 
bigmann245 said:
you mean you dont get any stinky finger at work?
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Lol. Uhhhhh, no. I just think of all the cooooodies I deal with, everyday. Yuk. I don't want anything getting under my work pants until I get clean. I don't even undress in my bedroom when taking off my uniform. I go straight to the laundry room and toss my uniform in the washing machine. AND I NEVER put any real clothes in the washer or dryer with my uniform. I know, seems a little OCD. :rolleyes:
 
myway said:
Lol. Uhhhhh, no. I just think of all the cooooodies I deal with, everyday. Yuk. I don't want anything getting under my work pants until I get clean. I don't even undress in my bedroom when taking off my uniform. I go straight to the laundry room and toss my uniform in the washing machine. AND I NEVER put any real clothes in the washer or dryer with my uniform. I know, seems a little OCD. :rolleyes:
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thats ok, i did the same thing when i worked in the strip club. i guess its about the same amount of yuck as your job...lol.

how was the uncooked pasta snack?
 
Yup, at every job I ever had.
One job, I made out with the bosses wife on the pizza counter. I was in H.S. & she was only 3 yrs older than me.
one place I worked had a trailer with washrooms. There was a glory hole between the end stalls in the men's & ladies sides. And no, I never used it.
 
bigmann245 said:
thats ok, i did the same thing when i worked in the strip club. i guess its about the same amount of yuck as your job...lol.

how was the uncooked pasta snack?
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It was OK but I finally got to have cereal last night on my 4ever long shift at work. One of the peeps I work with felt bad for me because I was hungry.... but not allowed to drive since I had been on the clock for over 36 hours. (That's our driving cut off..... but they still let me use all of my meds and junk as long as someone else drives me to the calls :rolleyes: that's RETARDED!)
Anywayz, someone went to the store and bought me some corn pops. YUM!
 
myway said:
It was OK but I finally got to have cereal last night on my 4ever long shift at work. One of the peeps I work with felt bad for me because I was hungry.... but not allowed to drive since I had been on the clock for over 36 hours. (That's our driving cut off..... but they still let me use all of my meds and junk as long as someone else drives me to the calls :rolleyes: that's RETARDED!)
Anywayz, someone went to the store and bought me some corn pops. YUM!
Click to expand...


im sorry but you work way too much. ive done that a few times in the navy but only because something on the helicoptor was broken and it was up to me to save the world.
 
bigmann245 said:
im sorry but you work way too much. ive done that a few times in the navy but only because something on the helicoptor was broken and it was up to me to save the world.
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Yea, and plus, NAVY MEN are HAWT. :)
 
If my father would leave the office I would be doing it right now!

LEAVE DAMN IT... LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
myway said:
It was OK but I finally got to have cereal last night on my 4ever long shift at work. One of the peeps I work with felt bad for me because I was hungry.... but not allowed to drive since I had been on the clock for over 36 hours. (That's our driving cut off..... but they still let me use all of my meds and junk as long as someone else drives me to the calls :rolleyes: that's RETARDED!)
Anywayz, someone went to the store and bought me some corn pops. YUM!
Click to expand...

wow, i cant believe they go through that much trouble just to keep you working!
 
so myway,

you're saying that you walk naked from the washing machine to the bedroom after every work shift?
good woman!
does that make for moments of christening the washer, the sink, the kitchen table, the couch, coffee table, etc?
 
chilidog0425 said:
so myway,

you're saying that you walk naked from the washing machine to the bedroom after every work shift?
good woman!
does that make for moments of christening the washer, the sink, the kitchen table, the couch, coffee table, etc?
Click to expand...
uh, yes. hell yes.
 
slat1 said:
masturbated at work?
Click to expand...
yes. My ex had sent me some very sexually explicit emails once upon my request, and I had to make my way to the bathroom and take care of business. I felt very dirty afterward but also very proud.
 
chilidog0425 said:
what does a sexually explicit email from a man to a woman consist of?

and how quick can you get the job done yourself?
Click to expand...
it was actually a detailed sexual story oh him and another chick. it turned me on. it only took me a few minutes of rubbing violently to finish the job.
 
Good Lord........23 said yes!!! ewww freaking gross!! I hope no of them have tried to shake my hand or anything. NASTY! Save that for at home people! Has to be the men, can't see a WOMAN doing that!
 
ksharp01 said:
Good Lord........23 said yes!!! ewww freaking gross!! I hope no of them have tried to shake my hand or anything. NASTY! Save that for at home people! Has to be the men, can't see a WOMAN doing that!
Click to expand...

hey diddle diddle the kitty's in the middle?
 
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