gym shoot the sh*t thread

[Jim Ouini]

I hope the ballet moves have not proliferated into your gyms yet. Every leg workout at my gym involves pointing your toes.

Move one- Lunges, big step forward, shift weight to from foot stand up, point back leg straight back and point toe, raise up on toe of other foot, pause and repeat across gym.

Move two- squats: use smith machine, stand on one leg, as you go down extend raised leg in front of you, point toe and stand up.

Move three (the best)- stand dumbbell on end, spotter? sits on ground, stand on barbell, bend at waist so torso is parallel to floor, stick one leg straight out behind you, point toe, hold spotter's? hands, hold for 10 count and repeat with other leg.

Who invented this stuff? I think the music in the gym has something to do with it. If they play "I wanta be your lover" one more time, I might start dancing around the gym as well.

lol

Granted I'm no expert but I've yet to run across some of these exercies I see people doing. Maybe they originate in rehab or something. I saw one PT training a couple ladies on the smith machine squat. He drags a flat bench over, proceeds to load up 2 plates per side and has one of the ladies straddle it. So I'm thinking 'hm some kind of smith machine box squats'

Then he puts a 50lb weighted vest on them. I'm not sure exactly what that does (maybe it's fireman training?) but anyway they begin the set and the lady could barely, I mean barely go down a few inches all the while she was screaming and grunting and the PT was yelling at her '225! 225!'

Another time I'm trying to stretch and this PT and her client, a pretty overweight middle aged guy, were doing some kind of isometric towel tricep extension. They'd take turns getting on their knees while holding a towel behind their head. The other person would pull on it while the other person resisted. Again, the screaming and moaning could be heard all throughout the gym until finally they'd collapse from exhaustion, rolling on the ground laughing in pain.

 

[sonic_death_monkey]

The gym.... my gym isn't a chain gym. The gym cators to a broad spectrum of society. (e.g. they'll take anyones money)

Thus, the draw is diverse. You've got your 50+ crowd there religiously from 5 am til mid morning. You can bet your sweet ass that you'll have to be quick to get a single piece of cardio equipment.

Around 8am you get your desperate housewives rolling in to work off any angst they've accumulated from their less than ideal family lives. And for those of you looking for some action, you can come to the gym at this time, let some of these MILF's over hear you're conversation about your wild weekend of monkey fucking some broad, and wrecking your jaguar, then proceed over to the nautilus equipment, offer to spot the 38yr old w/ the new fake tits, and see if you could swing by and clean her pool later.

I know, you're thinking "This guy is full of shit!". But I swear, it's worked for me!

Now if the MILF isn't the kind of tail you're looking for, then you need to show up arount 2pm. Most of the College chicks are out of class and are coming in around this time. The twenty something career girls show up a little after 5pm. So you've got a pretty good line up of ass rolling in from 2 - 9 pm.

Well, that's the menu at my gym. How does the rest of the EF community compare?

 

[BOOEY]

The gym.... my gym isn't a chain gym. The gym cators to a broad spectrum of society. (e.g. they'll take anyones money)

Thus, the draw is diverse. You've got your 50+ crowd there religiously from 5 am til mid morning. You can bet your sweet ass that you'll have to be quick to get a single piece of cardio equipment.

Around 8am you get your desperate housewives rolling in to work off any angst they've accumulated from their less than ideal family lives. And for those of you looking for some action, you can come to the gym at this time, let some of these MILF's over hear you're conversation about your wild weekend of monkey fucking some broad, and wrecking your jaguar, then proceed over to the nautilus equipment, offer to spot the 38yr old w/ the new fake tits, and see if you could swing by and clean her pool later.

I know, you're thinking "This guy is full of shit!". But I swear, it's worked for me!

Now if the MILF isn't the kind of tail you're looking for, then you need to show up arount 2pm. Most of the College chicks are out of class and are coming in around this time. The twenty something career girls show up a little after 5pm. So you've got a pretty good line up of ass rolling in from 2 - 9 pm.

Well, that's the menu at my gym. How does the rest of the EF community compare?

I workout out at a unveristy gym, so there are a lot of college chicks working out at all times of day. The downside is the weight area is downstairs and the cardio equipment is upstairs, so unless you are doing cardio, you won't be running into any girls (I've only seen maybe 2, maybe 3 tops, girls come into the weight area, I think most of them are afraid, haha).

 

[BOOEY]

Nothing worse than doing cardio the day after you hit legs!!!!!

 

[BOOEY]

Nothing worse than doing cardio the day after you hit legs!!!!!

Yeah that was fun, just got back and it took me literally 10 minutes to walk from the locker rooms to my car. NO Pain NO Gain

 

[Tweakle]

Last week I was introduced to the king of gym freaks, a little 40 something flamer with blue hair and matching warmups who's been banned for jerking off in the showers and for trying to pick fights with bigger guys. He dances around the gym with his headphones on, reads a book on the bench between sets and likes to walk into people if they're carrying weights. Last time he was banned for walking into a PT there and trying to push him over.. but bally lets him back everytime he buys a new membership.

what a GREAT place to train

 

[JL_204]

Last week I was introduced to the king of gym freaks, a little 40 something flamer with blue hair and matching warmups who's been banned for jerking off in the showers and for trying to pick fights with bigger guys. He dances around the gym with his headphones on, reads a book on the bench between sets and likes to walk into people if they're carrying weights. Last time he was banned for walking into a PT there and trying to push him over.. but bally lets him back everytime he buys a new membership.

Judging by your insane deadlift power im sure he doesnt bump into you!!!

The other day i was stretching my legs before doing squats and some dude comes up to me and says, "Yoga???". Some people have no clue.

 

[jenscats5]

The gym.... my gym isn't a chain gym. The gym cators to a broad spectrum of society. (e.g. they'll take anyones money)

Thus, the draw is diverse. You've got your 50+ crowd there religiously from 5 am til mid morning. You can bet your sweet ass that you'll have to be quick to get a single piece of cardio equipment.

Around 8am you get your desperate housewives rolling in to work off any angst they've accumulated from their less than ideal family lives. And for those of you looking for some action, you can come to the gym at this time, let some of these MILF's over hear you're conversation about your wild weekend of monkey fucking some broad, and wrecking your jaguar, then proceed over to the nautilus equipment, offer to spot the 38yr old w/ the new fake tits, and see if you could swing by and clean her pool later.

I know, you're thinking "This guy is full of shit!". But I swear, it's worked for me!

Now if the MILF isn't the kind of tail you're looking for, then you need to show up arount 2pm. Most of the College chicks are out of class and are coming in around this time. The twenty something career girls show up a little after 5pm. So you've got a pretty good line up of ass rolling in from 2 - 9 pm.

Well, that's the menu at my gym. How does the rest of the EF community compare?

About 8am is when I get there to do my morning HIIT cardio.....and I'm a housewife.... The only other people there are the early-morning old men -- which is a diff. set than the afternoon old men....

Today -- some guy looked at me & shook his head while I was doing deadlifts....WTF??

Later on in my workout I was doing leg extensions + machine presses in a superset.....This old guy who was using every piece of equipment every 10 mins moved my towel on the leg ext. then when he saw me coming he put it back & scampered off....

 

[jenscats5]

Oh!! Speaking of the old men -- we have some weird ones at my gym -- they MUST walk around the men's locker room naked -- cuz they hang out in the pool, just standing around, then nap in the lounge chairs with their hand on their junk.... I have to cut thru the pool area to get to the track -- I walk very quickly thru this area....

And we've got a very skinny guy who puts 1 45lb plate on the bench press, then lies down to press it & struggles mightily to bench it....it's tilting to the side then tilts to the other side -- he barely makes it, barely manages to complete a 2nd rep, then stands around looking at the bench for 10 minutes, then will barely do 2 more......I always halt what I'm doing cuz he always looks like he's going to kill himself & I'm worried he will....Yikes!!

 

[VNV_Disciple]

My friend Paul who competes, is going to be a Personal Trainer at the gym we go too,..

Free membership for him,..lucky