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Gonna be a grandpa

dew925

dew925

New member
FFfffuck, just found out my 19 year old daughter is 6 weeks pregnant ! Can't stand the prick that got her pregnant , thinks he a badass but ain't shit , doesn't work an already has a kid by another girl an one in the oven with her again, an doesnt support either of them. What the fuck should I do? I know this is EF , but please joking aside , could use some real advice here because I really want to kill this SOB!!!!
 
I'd fuck his shit up. Make him pay child support.

get a chasity device for your daughter too

oh, and hate to break it to you, but your wife is cheating on you
 
Make that fucker pay child support. Looks like someone is gettin a job

Sent from my SCH-I500 using EliteFitness
 
You let her make her choices like a big girl. Honestly, that's about it.

When I was 19, my daughter was born. My parents hated her mother. They tried to tell me how worthless she was. I did not listen.

Six years after my daughter was born, I had a son with the same woman. She was still equally as worthless of a human being, but I thought I still knew better.

Today, my daughter is 10, my son is 4, and I have sole custody of the both of them. They live with me full time, and I provide for them on my own. Are we rich? Not a chance. But we sure have learned a lot from each other over these years, and we sure do have a good time. I'm truly blessed to have been through all I have to make me the person/father I am today.

It took a lot of mistakes and a lot of not listening to the input of others to get here. So, there's hope for her bro, but she does have to make her choices and falter along the way. Good news tho...you're gonna be a grandpap : ) And that...is some cool ish.
 
princesa said:
Nothing you can do


Her life is fucked!


There are other choices...
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^^^ This.

Encourage her to get an abortion ASAP and move on. At this stage it's not a baby but she still is. Life's too hard in this country for kids with college degrees and career plans, never mind a single mother who got pregnant by a complete loser POS.
 
dew925 said:
FFfffuck, just found out my 19 year old daughter is 6 weeks pregnant ! Can't stand the prick that got her pregnant , thinks he a badass but ain't shit , doesn't work an already has a kid by another girl an one in the oven with her again, an doesnt support either of them. What the fuck should I do? I know this is EF , but please joking aside , could use some real advice here because I really want to kill this SOB!!!!
Click to expand...
I guarantee my work. My rates are competitive. I'm discrete and professional.

Lake Tahoe, close by, is very deep and cold.
 
Well just an update my daughter just left after a long discussion, she says she's against abortion an she's gonna have it. I told her the father needs to man up an come over here an discuss this with me!!!! Aprreciate the offer Dave but that won't solve it, but I do like your thinking :) . We'll just wait an see if he wants to be a man or a little bitch . Then it's killing time. I'm just trying not to freak out to bad just yet , just trying to be here for my daughter!
 
musclemom said:
^^^ This.

Encourage her to get an abortion ASAP and move on. At this stage it's not a baby but she still is. Life's too hard in this country for kids with college degrees and career plans, never mind a single mother who got pregnant by a complete loser POS.
Click to expand...

There is a beating heart
 
I'd have her talk with a counselor about abortion and her future first off. I'm not a big fan of abortion but this may be one of those cases where it'll slide.

What about the punk...Does his little shitass have parents? Or are they fucks just like him? I'd break one of his fingers when he shows up.
 
Scratch that-

Be pretty civil to the kid when he comes over but don't pop him if he mouths off b/c he may gtfo and never come back. just give him the my daughter is more important than ur life so dont screw up here speech.
 
Yea unfortunately the fuck does have parents,his dad thought he was a badass too,up until a month ago when I body slammed him on the hood of his own truck for running his month about my daughters.
No I'm just gonna keep my cool , an try an discuss options with my daughter, because if I beat his ass she might just push me away!
 
I don't get it :confused:

Why fuck the guy in the ass? why kill him? blah blah...


He didn't force her into it. At 19 yrs old she should know better.


What are her aspirations for the future? College? Career? Travel? Anything..?
 
princesa said:
I don't get it :confused:

Why fuck the guy in the ass? why kill him? blah blah...


He didn't force her into it. At 19 yrs old she should know better.


What are her aspirations for the future? College? Career? Travel? Anything..?
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???? She really wants to go into law enforcement, but now good question.
 
dew925 said:
Fuck !!! Thanks for that thought lol
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Not if you retain me. And for all EF members, next week I'll be running a 25% off all hits...umm....I mean..."services" **wink**

Actually my friend, and I don't know how strong your feelings are toward the whole pro-life/choice issue is, but I'm inclined to agree w/ musclemom here. Your girl is too young. Do it now, if you're convictions allow it. Otherwise, you're not only tied to the little rat-fuck for life, but your daughter is committed to raising the baby and that could hinder her career/education...and you may in fact have to raise the grandbaby yourselves.
 
dew925 said:
???? She really wants to go into law enforcement, but now good question.
Click to expand...

How can she go to school and take care of a child?!
Does she have a plan? Does she work at all?
You need to sit her down and show her what it takes to raise a child. Show her monthly bills etc..


Unless you are raising the child then that's a different story
 
princesa said:
Unless you are raising the child then that's a different story
Click to expand...

Yep. But don't get me wrong, that may not be a bad thing. My son got divorced while in the military. He got custody of his daughter, but was having a hard time finishing out his last year of service in Guam and caring for Carissa (our granddaughter). We offered to fly her out here and care for her so he could finish is duty. But that was only for one more year. We loved it, but Marina doesn't work, so that made it easier on everyone.
 
Actually Dave an princesa my views an opinions have already been stated to my daughter about abortion , school , bills an what it takes to raise a child . She is dead set against an abortion, adoption or anything of the sort.Hopefully over the next few days or week she will have thought about everything I've talked with her about? An if she goes through with it the only thing I myself an her mother ( we are divorced , but she has remarried an me an my girlfriend) can do the best we can to help her when needed.
 
On another note, my workout tonight was extremely awesome, really killed that shit because I was so pissed about this situation
 
angry workouts are good

I went to school with a small baby and didn't have family for child care..its doable
it was tough as fuck...and I still have anxiety about money even when I don't have anything to worry about
but my kids have never wanted for anything and I learned I can handle just about anything along the way...downside I was a selfish parent when I was younger vs now

shes just gonna have to never count on child support or anyone else helping out
 
smurf2 said:
There is a beating heart
Click to expand...
Color me a bitch *shrug* (I believe abortion is a moral issue, and my morals are shaped by my spiritual beliefs). I had a baby at 19 and was married and still was a stressed out mess most of the time, my son's early life shaped by decisions made by necessity versus picking the best option. I had no education, no job skills and was a stay at home mom because I couldn't get a job that would leave profit after the cost of daycare (our parents worked). I love my son, and thank the gods his head is relatively screwed on but it's sheer dumb luck, not skill on my part. He would have done better being born under better circumstances to more mature, better positioned people. Maybe the O/P is financially well to do and will be able to help her out and everything will work out, but no matter what, if his daughter has the baby and keeps it everything for the next 18 years is going to be shaped by one action made by a couple of dumbass kids with crappy judgement.

Bear in mind, I myself was the daughter of a single mother who was not married to my father (who was a psychotic bully). While she was older than the O/P's daughter, she eventually had to quit working due to an inability to find safe, reliable child care (at least two of the babysitter's were flat out cruel to me when I was a young toddler). I grew up on welfare. Determined not to repeat my mother's mistakes I went on to marry too young (because I was afraid of being single for the rest of my life) to a man who was an abusive asshole (not terribly different from my own father) and have a child way before I was ready. History repeats itself ad infinitum.
 
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musclemom said:
Color me a bitch *shrug* (I believe abortion is a moral issue, and my morals are shaped by my spiritual beliefs). I had a baby at 19 and was married and still was a stressed out mess most of the time, my son's early life shaped by decisions made by necessity versus picking the best option. I had no education, no job skills and was a stay at home mom because I couldn't get a job that would leave profit after the cost of daycare (our parents worked). I love my son, and thank the gods his head is relatively screwed on but it's sheer dumb luck, not skill on my part. He would have done better being born under better circumstances to more mature, better positioned people. Maybe the O/P is financially well to do and will be able to help her out and everything will work out, but no matter what, if his daughter has the baby and keeps it everything for the next 18 years is going to be shaped by one action made by a couple of dumbass kids with crappy judgement.

Bear in mind, I myself was the daughter of a single mother who was not married to my father (who was a psychotic bully). While she was older than the O/P's daughter, she eventually had to quit working due to an inability to find safe, reliable child care (at least two of the babysitter's were flat out cruel to me when I was a young toddler). I grew up on welfare. Determined not to repeat my mother's mistakes I went on to marry too young (because I was afraid of being single for the rest of my life) to a man who was an abusive asshole (not terribly different from my own father) and have a child way before I was ready. History repeats itself ad infinitum.
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hey I'm not judging. I'm a pro-choicer for sure. I don't disagree with abortion in the right circumstance. i think its the best option for some.

I was just pointing out that in the 6th week of gestation, there is a beating heart.
 
smurf2 said:
hey I'm not judging. I'm a pro-choicer for sure. I don't disagree with abortion in the right circumstance. i think its the best option for some.

I was just pointing out that in the 6th week of gestation, there is a beating heart.
Click to expand...
Hey, we're on the same page and no offense meant or taken, the heart thing just doesn't mean anything to me, seriously. IMO at this stage of the game we're talking about a clump of cells about 1/4 of an inch long a few hormones away from being a bad period :whatever:

I don't worship the Egyptian deities, I don't believe that the heart is the seat of the soul :lmao: (sorry, pagan humor).
 
3CoatHanger.jpg
 
musclemom said:
Hey, we're on the same page and no offense meant or taken, the heart thing just doesn't mean anything to me, seriously. IMO at this stage of the game we're talking about a clump of cells about 1/4 of an inch long a few hormones away from being a bad period :whatever:

I don't worship the Egyptian deities, I don't believe that the heart is the seat of the soul :lmao: (sorry, pagan humor).
Click to expand...

A clump of cells isn't entirely accurate either.
 
dew925 said:
FFfffuck, just found out my 19 year old daughter is 6 weeks pregnant ! Can't stand the prick that got her pregnant , thinks he a badass but ain't shit , doesn't work an already has a kid by another girl an one in the oven with her again, an doesnt support either of them. What the fuck should I do? I know this is EF , but please joking aside , could use some real advice here because I really want to kill this SOB!!!!
Click to expand...

congrats, your daughter can go to college for free now, under no circumstance allow her to marry him it will screw that up.. and child support?? yep let the state take care of that, they will get it for the child in the end..
 
SpyWizard said:
congrats, your daughter can go to college for free now, under no circumstance allow her to marry him it will screw that up.. and child support?? yep let the state take care of that, they will get it for the child in the end..
Click to expand...
How? Seriously. Does TX have a program or something? Because single parents get no special privileges in PA, they pay the same rate for student loans. Maybe if you're on welfare you get an opportunity for skills training, that's a huge maybe, but that isn't college, or even trade school, not by a long shot.
 
musclemom said:
How? Seriously. Does TX have a program or something? Because single parents get no special privileges in PA, they pay the same rate for student loans. Maybe if you're on welfare you get an opportunity for skills training, that's a huge maybe, but that isn't college, or even trade school, not by a long shot.
Click to expand...

i live in PA, and a single mom with no job would probably get to go to college for free...she would have to do some leg work to get signed up for various programs but after it was all said and done? with grants and free housing and public assistance, her education would essentially be free...i've seen rich people do that shit all the time...daughter gets knocked up, parents put her out on her own and get her signed up for public assistance, daughter gets free education, living expenses, etc.
 
digimon7068 said:
i live in PA, and a single mom with no job would probably get to go to college for free...she would have to do some leg work to get signed up for various programs but after it was all said and done? with grants and free housing and public assistance, her education would essentially be free...i've seen rich people do that shit all the time...daughter gets knocked up, parents put her out on her own and get her signed up for public assistance, daughter gets free education, living expenses, etc.
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I HAVE an adult stepdaughter who has autism spectrum and had NO income and I couldn't get FUCK ALL for her. $200 in food stamps, that was fucking it and that got cut to $97 when she got an $8.50 an hour job. Maybe if she did live on the street she'd get something because if you live with someone, like your parents, their income is factored in. They do not ask you what YOUR income is, they ask you what the HOUSEHOLD income is.

And no, I can't put my mildly autistic stepdaughter out of the house, she's got the mental maturity of an 11 year old. Besides, her mother already did that to her, that's how I ended up with the kid.
 
musclemom said:
I HAVE an adult stepdaughter who has autism spectrum and had NO income and I couldn't get FUCK ALL for her. $200 in food stamps, that was fucking it and that got cut to $97 when she got an $8.50 an hour job. Maybe if she did live on the street she'd get something because if you live with someone, like your parents, their income is factored in. They do not ask you what YOUR income is, they ask you what the HOUSEHOLD income is.

And no, I can't put my mildly autistic stepdaughter out of the house, she's got the mental maturity of an 11 year old. Besides, her mother already did that to her, that's how I ended up with the kid.
Click to expand...

your situation is a bit different then, yes?? that said, i would keep working on it...i believe that there is probably more assistance available out there for the scenario that you described. the woman that cuts my hair has an autistic son...he spent the last few years in an autism/education program at the pittsburgh school for the blind (he's not blind, but they have the best autism program in western pa)...he was home on weekends and holidays and during the summer...the local school district had to pick up the tab for all of that, plus his mom got financial assistance for his care...he "graduated" a couple of weeks ago at 21 years of age...now he's in a residential assisted-living program back in our area and, while his mother doesn't get anymore financial assistance (i think), he isn't costing her anything with regard to his day-to-day life.
 
so abortion is ut why not adoption? I understand she doesnt want to "kill it" but why does she want to keep it? does she understand the costs and the effort it's gonna be?

My best friend got pregnant at 19 as well, her "punishment" for it was that her parents refused to care for the kid while she was out so she was not able to study, date, get a job, she lived with her parents and they took care of her and the kid financially but with no luxury, she couldnt find a job that left much after daycare, now that the kid is 6 and in school she got a job and went to school, she barely even met men so of course didnt get knocked up again and wherever she went the baby went so she could only go to stuff like church, parks, playgrounds, friends house, etc and that kid of hers hs to be the smartest and best behaved kid I have EVER seen.
 
digimon7068 said:
your situation is a bit different then, yes?? that said, i would keep working on it...i believe that there is probably more assistance available out there for the scenario that you described. the woman that cuts my hair has an autistic son...he spent the last few years in an autism/education program at the pittsburgh school for the blind (he's not blind, but they have the best autism program in western pa)...he was home on weekends and holidays and during the summer...the local school district had to pick up the tab for all of that, plus his mom got financial assistance for his care...he "graduated" a couple of weeks ago at 21 years of age...now he's in a residential assisted-living program back in our area and, while his mother doesn't get anymore financial assistance (i think), he isn't costing her anything with regard to his day-to-day life.
Click to expand...
I tried to be brief. My stepdaughter was not diagnosed until she was 21. She managed to graduate from the public school system with shit grades and tons of in-school help. Partly due to the nature of her disability and partly due to her mother's utter failure as an observant parent and general decent human being the kid has just sort of skated along, falling through cracks (yay No Child Left Behind ...)

Yes, there are assistance programs out there. The people who are severely disabled get first priority. After that, the earlier you get into the system takes next priority. Failing that, the longer/more extensive medical history you have. Everyone else has to fight like a barracuda for scraps. Think a Washington lobbyist crossed with a used car salesman negotiating a labyrinth.

Her mother never took her to one neurological or psychological diagnostician and relied strictly on school assessments and the pediatrician's recommendations. So no medical history, no early diagnosis, and mild -- though life impacting -- disability. I have a very precipitous uphill battle trying to get this kid the type of help she needs. She's already been refused SSI and we have an appeal in October. In the meantime she has to reduce her work hours to less than half to make the $$$ requirements.

What kills me is we don't want the money, we just want to get her a caseworker and into programs, maybe group housing. My husband and I were not prepared to include her in our long term future plans ... shit, we're not prepared to take care of OURSELVES in the long term future.
 
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