Giving her space and time is hard to do

[Bikini Mod]

I feel for you .... more than you know.

Obviously ANY MAN that I end up with (if I ever do) will have to love my daughters the way that they deserve to be loved. I don't have one child - I have four. So he would have to be pretty damned amazing. I know that I have found him.. or at least, he found me.

But now the shoe is on the other foot. He has kids too. And I must say that I miss them more than I miss him sometimes. (My girls haven't met him yet and I am not rushing this.... we have ALL the time in the world.) I am afraid that I will fail HIS KIDS.

I am not saying that I am afraid or incapable of loving them the way they deserved to be loved. On the contrary, I love them so much that I am afraid that I am not good enough for them.

Time.... time..... time....

Give it time.....

Neither one of us is rushing anywhere. He tries to deny that his feelings for me are as strong as mine for him heheheee but we both know that regardless of how difficult it will be for us to be together - if WE REALLY want it badly enough, and if it was truly meant to be, then we will find a way. But it is not the central focus of our lives right now.

He is living his life, caring for his children and doing all that he loves....

I am focusing on living my life for me and my girls, and doing all that I love.

Eventually, it will all come together -

Just do what you feel is correct in your heart. Trust your gut, and you will never go wrong.

You are truly a decent man.

 

[SDRaver]

Just didn't realize that when I hurt her I was hurting 2 people. Also losing her meant that I lost 2 people also. She was engaged a few years ago to a guy who the daughter was very attached too. then he broke it off one day. So I can see where that might affect her also.

 

[Jimsbbc]

Sdraver and BM-

I am so envious of you two!!! I hope I get to have something like that (at some point in this lifetime)!

 

[HumorMe]

He has kids too.

The Brady Bunch....that's how we all became the Brady Bunch!

Just messing with you BM! I wish you the best!

Originally posted by bikinimom

Just do what you feel is correct in your heart. Trust your gut, and you will never go wrong.

You are truly a decent man.

So true.....keep this in mind!

Thanks SD. It's good that you have her ex's support. So many times jealousy is big deal concerning things like this! Thanks again!

 

[Bikini Mod]

Jim - you are a good guy.... it will happen for you, too!

Humor me - yea, it would be the Brady Bunch of bodybuilding LOL! hehehehe it's so funny because even our last names go together in such a silly and wonderful way... hehehehe

I don't have a crystal ball (well.... kind of hehehehe). I don't know how or when it will happen and I am just satisfied doing what I need to be doing to make the best life possible for ME and MY CHILDREN. If all of this singular path heads towards him and his children then it will have been meant to be. If not, then we will be lifelong friends at the very least. How could THAT ever be a bad thing?!

 

[SDRaver]

I was chatting with her on line while posting this thread. She had lost 2 more clients this moring which is really afftecting her financially. I could tell in her words she was hurting bad. I broke the stay away rule. In fact she was still trying to IM me while a hauled ass to her ass.
This is the most I've ever seen here beat down both pysically and emotionally. She's starting to realize who her real friends are through this ordeal but that's another story.
I just made her go to bed while I got her some food ready and piclked up around the house. Gave her an opportunity to vent about everything and she did. within 2 hours she was feeling a lot better and laughing for the first time in a while.
I just let her know that I'd alway be there for her and her daughter. and to let her know she could call me anytme day or night. she left me a voice mail back at my house saying that she appreciated me dropping everything to take care of her while she was down. She sounded a lot better and she said that she felt better too. Plus it was the first time in a while she had told me she loved me and that caught me off guard but i won't complain

 

[PinK233]

You sound like a good man....just dont forget you have 2 hearts in your hand....keep the promise you made her

 

[Bikini Mod]

I have NEVER had anyone (I mean a man, that is) do anything like that for me....

You really are a good guy. I hope that your resolve will be as strong when "life" hits the fan. I am trying not to sound jealous....... but the truth is that I am.

I wish all three of you only all the happiness that life has to offer and the strength to get through hardships with kindness, mutual respect and friendship.

 

[SDRaver]

She actually called me lastnight to let me know her daughter and her got home ok. I had to laugh because she said on the way home her 7 yr old gave her a "stern lecture" on how she should give me another chance. Right now I'm just making sure that I'm there for her if she needs someone to talk to. regardless of the outcome I will always be close to her because no one has ever treated me the way she does.

 

[SDRaver]

thanks

She's knows what's there but she has to be the one to take it obviously. Hell the only ultimatum I've ever given her was to front-load her clients (personal trainer/aerobics instr) during the week so she can spend more time with her daughter. Right now she drives up to 90 miles a day to train clients and sometimes dosent' get home til 9:30-10:00 at night only to get her daughter right back up at 7:00 am. I know that's affecting both of them right now.
The one thing that we can't come to an agreement on is the whole kid issue. She wants another one so bad but the doctor had labled her a "high risk" pregnancy because she's dealt with cancer before and has only one kidney. She feels she can carry full term but I would like more reassurance from a professional. Couldn't comprehend the fact of losing her and/or a child.