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Funny First Date Stories...

javaguru

javaguru

Banned
I met my ex-wife right during finals and we stayed up all night talking. I offered to sleep on the couch and she said no.....we "slept" together on our first date... i made a joke of it...Shelagh was a prude, it took three months to hit it but that's how I am...:) I enjoyed telling the story about sleeping with her on the first date..loolloollool...
 
good, i have aids and a kid. i tried to give back the aids but apparently once its born your stuck with it
 
This one guy just wouldn't shut up about the assassination of ArchDuke Franz Ferdinad, he even had his bloody shirt.
 
Funny first dates? There was a period where I'd go on a date to find out they were a catholic virgin - happened like 3 times.
 
The guy that - despite me fucking him nonstop for hours - couldn't reach orgasm unless I let him wash my hair.

Let's see ya'll beat that.
 
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LuluDeren said:
This one guy just wouldn't shut up about the assassination of ArchDuke Franz Ferdinad, he even had his bloody shirt.
Click to expand...
Was the dude's last name Princip? Did he bear an uncanny resemblance to this?
Gavrilloprincip.jpg
 
Last edited:
AAP said:
The guy that - despite me fucking him nonstop for hours - couldn't reach orgasm unless I let him wash my hair.

Let's see ya'll beat that.
Click to expand...

hhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Fucking going in my sig
 
AAP said:
The guy that - despite me fucking him nonstop for hours - couldn't reach orgasm unless I let him wash my hair.

Let's see ya'll beat that.
Click to expand...
You win, I didn't know you went out with little aap....... :worried:
 
How about inviting a girl over to watch a movie, fully ready to take advantage of her and instead she sits in the recliner knitting a scarf the entire movie.

:(






(and a preemptive "Shut up!" to Scotsman)
 
I will have to get back to you on this one...I don't have a date until the first weeek in October. There should be some great stories when I get back. LOL
 
alien amp pharm said:
How about inviting a girl over to watch a movie, fully ready to take advantage of her and instead she sits in the recliner knitting a scarf the entire movie.

:(






(and a preemptive "Shut up!" to Scotsman)
Click to expand...

Dude, why didn't you put your knitting materials away before she got there?
 
covergrl80 said:
I will have to get back to you on this one...I don't have a date until the first weeek in October. There should be some great stories when I get back. LOL
Click to expand...

This October or next
 
alien amp pharm said:
How about inviting a girl over to watch a movie, fully ready to take advantage of her and instead she sits in the recliner knitting a scarf the entire movie.

:(






(and a preemptive "Shut up!" to Scotsman)
Click to expand...
The "friend zone" is no place to go through life.
 
alien amp pharm said:
How about inviting a girl over to watch a movie, fully ready to take advantage of her and instead she sits in the recliner knitting a scarf the entire movie.

:(






(and a preemptive "Shut up!" to Scotsman)
Click to expand...
maybe you shouldnt have asked your grandma for that new scarf the same day you were planning on fucking her?
 
SublimeZM said:
maybe you shouldnt have asked your grandma for that new scarf the same day you were planning on fucking her?
Click to expand...

planning?:confused:

What do you thin the scarf was for? ...It was a thank you gift for the previous night.
 
alien amp pharm said:
planning?:confused:

What do you thin the scarf was for? ...It was a thank you gift for the previous night.
Click to expand...
what was your granny thanking you for? did you take her kitty to the vet?
 
I'd had a LOTTA first dates... most were *eh* at best and a few were :worried: .

Here's a cute story.

The Old Grump and I had been chatting/phoning/texting non-stop for bout 5/6 weeks before we actually met. I told him that with my birthday approaching I would not accept a store-bought birthday present. So he flew out to meet me for the first time. His birthday present to me, was him! LOL I picked him up at the airport then we had lunch but first he had to get something for his cell. So we walked in/out coupla places. A few people volunteered, "Damn, you two must have been married FOREVER, you get along so well."

We had only *been together* for about two hours at that point.

We still chuckle when we think about it.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I'd had a LOTTA first dates... most were *eh* at best and a few were :worried: .

Here's a cute story.

The Old Grump and I had been chatting/phoning/texting non-stop for bout 5/6 weeks before we actually met. I told him that with my birthday approaching I would not accept a store-bought birthday present. So he flew out to meet me for the first time. His birthday present to me, was him! LOL I picked him up at the airport then we had lunch but first he had to get something for his cell. So we walked in/out coupla places. A few people volunteered, "Damn, you two must have been married FOREVER, you get along so well."

We had only *been together* for about two hours at that point.

We still chuckle when we think about it.
Click to expand...

I have done that before. It is a real panty dropper.

You slide some $ to some random people to say "You to look like a perfect couple." "How long have you been married", or if it is a young slut..."Excuse me sir, haven't I seen you on TV or movies"

Gotta give the old guy credit for being a playa.
 
all the whey said:
I have done that before. It is a real panty dropper.

You slide some $ to some random people to say "You to look like a perfect couple." "How long have you been married", or if it is a young slut..."Excuse me sir, haven't I seen you on TV or movies"

Gotta give the old guy credit for being a playa.
Click to expand...
LOL @ wiminz being pwned by the old "high value male" shtick....
 
javaguru said:
LOL @ wiminz being pwned by the old "high value male" shtick....
Click to expand...

lololol

I admit that I have gone out and met some girls. Then, give one the waitresses a big ass tip and have them interrupt me with them and ask for my number. etc.

This gets their competitive juices flowing.
 
When I was 14 I went on my first date ever. We ate at a Friendly's before going to a movie and I was eating a salad. She picked the tomatoes off of hers and said she was allergic to them. They were cherry tomatoes. So, next bite i take, I ate a tomato. I bit into it with my front teeth. Tomato juice squirted out of the tomato and hit her in the eyes, face, and her blouse. She had an allergic reaction to the tomato juice that hit her eyes and they swole up.

Yeah. Good.
 
all the whey said:
lololol

I admit that I have gone out and met some girls. Then, give one the waitresses a big ass tip and have them interrupt me with them and ask for my number. etc.

This gets their competitive juices flowing.
Click to expand...


I think most guys have done something like this at one time or another, seems like the Grump is no stranger to strategies as well! :D
 
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