man, this is how i started out. i got stuck trying to sort all this shit out by myself, without any help from my family. got frustrated and thought the best way to solve my problems was to punch other people in the face. 1/3 will wanna help, 1/3 will be shocked and scared & 1/3 will instigate and enjoy the show you put on. at the very least, hold on to that shit and let it out on a loaded barbell or a heavy bag. you might wanna find an old fucked up juicer to bounce ideas off of or just keep this side to yourself and not let many, if any, other people ever see it....