fiesty

[Gambino]

i have a question for you regarding cadillac grillz.
do you think that allowing your kid to wear fronts that will trigger worse things...like opening pandora's box. this is how i gather it
now let's say you knew that once he had his grill that's the furthest he would pursue it...that would satisfy his inner thug and that would be the end of it.
would you allow him to wear it?
with my parents there was a similiar situation when i was about 12.
i wanted to have long skater hair so i'd be cool...but my parents didn't want me looking like a dirtbag so they fought it.
but as i got older they concedded...i had my skater hair...and eventually i outgrew it (insert recedding hair line joke) and turned out a decent citizen.
I'm not sure the route i would take...looking back the peeps i knew who were allowed long hair/earrings/thuggish dress...a lot of them never outgrew it and remain losers
but a handful outgrew it and are normal proffessional adults
so it could really go either way

 

[feisty11975]

If I thought that it was just a stage and that he would outgrow it soon, then yes, I'd let him have it. for fun! This has been ongoing for over a year now with him and it keeps getting worse. He has an uncle who is a wannabee thug who he looks up to and I can't do crap about it. When hes with me, I have rules and he will obey them. PERIOD!

 

[Gambino]

If I thought that it was just a stage and that he would outgrow it soon, then yes, I'd let him have it. for fun! This has been ongoing for over a year now with him and it keeps getting worse. He has an uncle who is a wannabee thug who he looks up to and I can't do crap about it. When hes with me, I have rules and he will obey them. PERIOD!

i see the turmoil you are going thru regarding this.
seems like the kid is being told one thing from this pops, and another from you.

 

[feisty11975]

i see the turmoil you are going thru regarding this.
seems like the kid is being told one thing from this pops, and another from you.

yes, my rules with me

no rules with him

 

[billfred]

I support you here Fiesty.

I think the kid is going to respect you more for installing a little discipline in his life. At the end of the day, kids bitch and moan but like a few rules as it shows the parents care.

 

[feisty11975]

I support you here Fiesty.

I think the kid is going to respect you more for installing a little discipline in his life. At the end of the day, kids bitch and moan but like a few rules as it shows the parents care.

I wish it were like that...he hates to come with me. I force him. He actually has a bedtime and has to eat with the family and all that other good stuff.

Just last week, he was online at 12:15 at night posting bulletins on myspace. WTF? I called his dad and told him and he said, I thought he was in bed. He did nothing about it. That will all change very very soon.

 

[javaguru]

If I thought that it was just a stage and that he would outgrow it soon, then yes, I'd let him have it. for fun! This has been ongoing for over a year now with him and it keeps getting worse. He has an uncle who is a wannabee thug who he looks up to and I can't do crap about it. When hes with me, I have rules and he will obey them. PERIOD!

You have my support fisty. You're raising a boy to be a man and that ain't easy for a woman. He's going to latch onto male role models, good or bad, and you need to set boundaries and hopefully he'll fall in with the good. A single mom that can discipline her kids is a good thing.

 

[feisty11975]

You have my support fisty. You're raising a boy to be a man and that ain't easy for a woman. He's going to latch onto male role models, good or bad, and you need to set boundaries and hopefully he'll fall in with the good. A single mom that can discipline her kids is a good thing.

Thanks. I gave up for a bit but decided that I cannot give up on him. I am going to do all I can to help him. I will straighten him out!

 

[javaguru]

Thanks. I gave up for a bit but decided that I cannot give up on him. I am going to do all I can to help him. I will straighten him out!

Like I said, as a single mom it's hard to raise a boy into a proper man. You've always seemed like one of the good ones so I know you'll do your best. Watch his friends and male role models. If you have a guy in your life at the stage where it's ok to meet him,and he is a role model, then encourage them to "hang out." A strong positive male in your life that is committed to you and your children might work wonders. I guess that I was spoiled by having a strong male as my role model. My father had his flaws but he taught me how to be a man, my primary reason for not being a fuck up when I was younger was to not disappoint my father.

 

[feisty11975]

Like I said, as a single mom it's hard to raise a boy into a proper man. You've always seemed like one of the good ones so I know you'll do your best. Watch his friends and male role models. If you have a guy in your life at the stage where it's ok to meet him,and he is a role model, then encourage them to "hang out." A strong positive male in your life that is committed to you and your children might work wonders. I guess that I was spoiled by having a strong male as my role model. My father had his flaws but he taught me how to be a man, my primary reason for not being a fuck up when I was younger was to not disappoint my father.

well, he does have a strong positive male in his life, and I do push my son into spending time with him. My bf owns his own company and my son goes work with him sometimes. They get along pretty good but my son feels that I am the only one who can correct him. yeah right. He's in OUR house, not mine only. If my bf feels the need to correct my children, he has my approval as do I if I need to correct his.

 

[javaguru]

well, he does have a strong positive male in his life, and I do push my son into spending time with him. My bf owns his own company and my son goes work with him sometimes. They get along pretty good but my son feels that I am the only one who can correct him. yeah right. He's in OUR house, not mine only. If my bf feels the need to correct my children, he has my approval as do I if I need to correct his.

That's a problem. As a man who has dated single mom's for all the good they have to offer. Being next to marriage and not feeling you have a right to correct the children can be difficult. Even if you give him the green he's still stuck in a quandry. Anyway, a good camping trip where he can appreciate the male one on one might be good. The man also has to assert his status as a father figure. I made that mistake in the past, being "too friendly" with the child and not being a father figure.

 

[feisty11975]

That's a problem. As a man who has dated single mom's for all the good they have to offer. Being next to marriage and not feeling you have a right to correct the children can be difficult. Even if you give him the green he's still stuck in a quandry. Anyway, a good camping trip where he can appreciate the male one on one might be good. The man also has to assert his status as a father figure. I made that mistake in the past, being "too friendly" with the child and not being a father figure.

no, trust me, he corrects my oldest...just my child thinks he does not have to listen to him. We go round and round with that. I corrected my son for talking back to me Saturday. He did this infront of his brother and my bf's son. I asked him, "What do you think it shows the others when you talk back to me?" He told me, "that they can do it too" See, hes not a dumb child, not at all...he just lets his mouth overload his ass!

 

[Frisky]

Fiesty has been battling this with her oldest for a long time... If this were just a spur of the moment instance than I'd just really laugh at him. But its not, he actually wants to be a 'wanna' be gangsta, wants to act all thuggish... disrespects adults when he doesn't get his way... (when all is good he is a pleasure to be around though) Thing is... he's a tough little cookie... but only as tough as his opponent... and believe me, he's never even experienced 'ghetto' 'thug' or any of that ... His uncle is a wanna be bad ass and thats all... yet very influential to this young boy. I hate to see something happen to my godchild... but if he doesn't open his eyes and realize that his mouth will not get him out of a bind with everyone... I'm afraid of what will happen to him.

She has her hands full no doubt, but I'm really proud of her for standing her ground.

 

[ortiz34]

all the SWV already kissed fistys ass so much in this thread, therefore I have nothing to say.

 

[feisty11975]

Fiesty has been battling this with her oldest for a long time... If this were just a spur of the moment instance than I'd just really laugh at him. But its not, he actually wants to be a 'wanna' be gangsta, wants to act all thuggish... disrespects adults when he doesn't get his way... (when all is good he is a pleasure to be around though) Thing is... he's a tough little cookie... but only as tough as his opponent... and believe me, he's never even experienced 'ghetto' 'thug' or any of that ... His uncle is a wanna be bad ass and thats all... yet very influential to this young boy. I hate to see something happen to my godchild... but if he doesn't open his eyes and realize that his mouth will not get him out of a bind with everyone... I'm afraid of what will happen to him.

She has her hands full no doubt, but I'm really proud of her for standing her ground.

He was complaining about J's kids being there and that so and so instigates problems and such...I asked him how is it that everytime you go somewheres or do something, someone else is instigating. I said "You never do wrong but trouble seems to follow you EVERYWHERE!!"

I think he got my point. He's the PROBLEM!