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Favorite quote from Seinfeld?

gettinlarger

gettinlarger

New member
Kramer: She said I wasn't good looking enough. Not good looking enough ... ! Jerry, look at me. Am I beautiful? George? Am I beautiful?

George: ..... You're very attractive.
 
"Everyone just settle down. We have three hours left on this thing, and I can't drive and argue with you rubes all at the same time" - Kramer. (Peterman Reality Tour)

HAHAHAHAHAHA
 
I have posted so many quotes on EF, it's hard to keep track which is my favorite.

Here's one for Today

Elaine: You? I'm more responsible than you are!

Kramer: Don't be ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to fill my freezer with my own blood.
 
Jerry: my penis is my own property and i can do what ever i want with it!

Elaine: just put it in my mouth. . .
 
The Nature Boy said:
I have posted so many quotes on EF, it's hard to keep track which is my favorite.

Here's one for Today

Elaine: You? I'm more responsible than you are!

Kramer: Don't be ridiculous. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to fill my freezer with my own blood.
Click to expand...

LMAO

Jerry: Maybe it'll be fun having a pet.
George: It's not a pet. It's a wild invalid. And it knows that I tried to kill it. As soon as it gets better, it's gonna gnaw my brain out in my sleep.
 
Lest anyone forget that Larry David was the true comic genious responsible fir this show. Watch "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and youll see why. He is a real life george Costanza.
 
George: "paying for parking is like paying for sex, it's not right... if I apply myself i may be able to get it for free"

Kramer: "My buddy bob sakamano"

almost every other sentence they say on that show is classic. it's impossible to narrow it down
 
this quote is n ot exact.. but..

(referring to when kramer took jerrys shoes to be cleaned)
Jerry: so it was mom and pops plan to move into the neighborhood, establish trust for 20 years, and run off with my shoes?"

Kramer: apparently!!
 
Roseanne was a great show.

seinfeld is neurotic Jew Humor, like woody allen flicks. Some like some hate it.
 
great dialogue between jerry and kramer

Jerry : Is this my stereo ?

Kramer walks in

Kramer : Hey you got it .

Jerry : What happened to my stereo ? It's all smashed up .

Kramer : That's right . Now it looks like it was broken during shipping and I insured it for $400 .

Jerry : But you were supposed to get me a refund .

Kramer : You can't get a refund . Your warranty expired two years ago .

Jerry : So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo ?

Kramer : It's just a write off for them .

Jerry : How is it a write off ?

Kramer : They just write it off .

Jerry : Write it off what ?

Kramer : Jerry all these big companies they write off everything

Jerry : You don't even know what a write off is .

Kramer : Do you ?

Jerry : No. I don't .

Kramer : But they do and they are the ones writing it off .

Jerry : I wish I just had the last twenty seconds of my life back .
 
beastboy said:


I get all the jokes on Roseanne and Night Court.
Click to expand...

Did you see the Episode in which DJ stole the car? I thought the very end during the credits where the acted like it was a COPS episode was one of the funniest things I have seen.
 
Kramer: We have a bonus ultra reality stop today. We're going to be hauling muffin stumps to the local repository.

Tourist: We're going to a garbage dump?

Kramer: And we're off.
Jerry: You know, I never thought he'd be able to recreate the experience of actually knowing him, but this is pretty close.
 
The Nature Boy said:
great dialogue between jerry and kramer

Jerry : Is this my stereo ?

Kramer walks in

Kramer : Hey you got it .

Jerry : What happened to my stereo ? It's all smashed up .

Kramer : That's right . Now it looks like it was broken during shipping and I insured it for $400 .

Jerry : But you were supposed to get me a refund .

Kramer : You can't get a refund . Your warranty expired two years ago .

Jerry : So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo ?

Kramer : It's just a write off for them .

Jerry : How is it a write off ?

Kramer : They just write it off .

Jerry : Write it off what ?

Kramer : Jerry all these big companies they write off everything

Jerry : You don't even know what a write off is .

Kramer : Do you ?

Jerry : No. I don't .

Kramer : But they do and they are the ones writing it off .

Jerry : I wish I just had the last twenty seconds of my life back .
Click to expand...

That was funny.
 
HANSEL said:
Roseanne was a great show.

seinfeld is neurotic Jew Humor, like woody allen flicks. Some like some hate it.
Click to expand...

roseanne was trailor park trash humor. some like it, some graduated from college....
 
HANSEL said:


Did you see the Episode in which DJ stole the car? I thought the very end during the credits where the acted like it was a COPS episode was one of the funniest things I have seen.
Click to expand...

No.
 
primetime21 said:


roseanne was trailor park trash humor. some like it, some graduated from college....
Click to expand...

Im sure people with degrees came from midwest homes like this and can appreciate the humor. Your gay.
 
jackie childs is funny


JACKIE: You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.

KRAMER: I guess I screwed up huh Jackie?

JACKIE: Your damn right you screwed up. Where the hell did you get that damm balm anyway?

KRAMER: The Maestro.

JACKIE: The who? What are you talking about Maestro?

KRAMER: My friend he's a conductor.

JACKIE: Oh oh oh, so a Maestro tells you to put a balm on and you do it?

KRAMER: Well my stomach was burning.

JACKIE: I tell you what this is. This is a public humiliation.

KRAMER: Well I didn't know the balm was gonna work.

JACKIE: Do you know what a balm is? Have you ever seen a balm? Didn't you read the instructions?

KRAMER: Well I ...

JACKIE: (interrupts) No one can tell what a balm's gonna do. They're unpredictable.
 
Phone rings.

Jerry: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hello, would you be interested in a subscription to the New York Times?

Jerry: Yes! (Hangs up phone.)
 
Boyfriend: "You mean we're just a couple of white people."
Elaine: "Yeah, I guess so"
Boyfriend: "You wanna go to the Gap?"
Elaine: "Sure."
 
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