DOES a man's slary matter??

[The Shadow]

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.as...ngID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=8747


Does a man’s salary matter?
By Amanda May

These days, women are about as likely to bring home the bacon as their male counterparts. But has this affected what kind of guy women want to date—is the size of a man’s salary still a critical element?

To get the answer, we gathered together a group of men, women and a relationship expert to talk about this controversial topic—and get some advice on how to handle the situation whether you’re a male or female, flush with cash or just getting by.

Participating in our roundtable:
Jillian Straus, author of Unhooked Generation: The Truth About Why We’re Still Single
Liz Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting: A Fast-Track Dating Guide for Finding Mr. Right
Jen, 25, legal recruiter, New York
Haley, 32, public relations director, California
Rebecca, 30, writer, Kansas
Sebastian, 30, consultant and founder of a non-profit, New York
Dann, 30, TV news producer, New York


Q: Even in a day when women often out-earn men, do they still prefer to date a guy with a sizable paycheck?
Jillian Straus: I’m often astonished to overhear conversations at restaurants where a woman will ask her girlfriend, “Does he make money?” Women often want a more successful man, even if they’re successful themselves—one study found that successful women want to be with a successful man even more so than their non-successful counterparts.

Dann: There are definitely a lot of women who keep an eye on the man’s wallet. That’s why you see some women perk up when a man says he’s a doctor or a lawyer. And if he’s a hot doctor or lawyer, forget about it!

Haley: It’s not that I couldn’t fall in love with someone who made less money than I do, but it would be difficult. I want to settle down with someone who can take care of me and support a family.

Rebecca: Money has never been a consideration for me. Can someone make me happy, make me laugh, and carry on an intellectually stimulating conversation? I think about those things first and money much, much later.

Q: So why do some women still think the size of a man’s salary is still important, even if they’re making money themselves?
Jillian Straus: We are living between today, the modern world, and what we saw growing up and how we define “man” and “woman.” And in some cases, women want the choice of whether or not to stay home and raise children. In other cases, women don’t mind earning more money, but think the men they’re with would feel diminished by that. I heard one story where a woman was making more than her guy, and the day she came home with a Porsche was the day the relationship was over.

Liz Kelly: For a woman who’s on a limited budget and feels strapped, it’s scary to take on someone who’s making significantly less money. That pressure can create an imbalance in the relationship which can make people — both men and women — feel uncomfortable.

Haley: My current boyfriend pays for everything and I think I make more than he does, but I like it that way because it feels romantic, caring and chivalrous. Dating a man without money is really tough because you end up paying for everything and that wears on you after awhile.

Q: The upsides to dating a man with money are pretty obvious—but are there any downsides?
Jillian Strauss: There’s an old saying: If you marry for money, you earn every penny.

Jen: I’ve dated men with money and without and have often found that guys with money have an overwhelming sense of entitlement. You’re never that special to them because they think they can get any woman they want. Now I’m trying to find someone in the middle: Someone with a decent income but who is a nice guy.

Q: So what do men think about women who consider money a priority?
Sebastian: I once met a woman who seemed more interested in my sports car than in me. Even so, in my mind there’s nothing wrong with wanting to live well.

Dann: I don’t think it’s any worse than men pursuing only women who are really hot. But I do think anyone who does that is shallow. That said, it’s frustrating not having a lot of money because it means that you can’t do nice things to impress someone you love. You need to be resourceful—bargain hunt for good gifts or plan a date around renting a movie.

Liz Kelly: Lots of guys with money will complain to me that they don’t want to always pay for dates because they want to make sure that the woman is with them for who they are, not for how much they earn. But I agree with Dann: It’s the romance and chivalry that women want—not the free meal.

Q: So what should a man do if he doesn’t make much money?
Rebecca: I don’t feel like I need my boyfriend to spend a lot of money on me to show me that he loves me. He does that in a million little ways, like always filling my car with gas or leaving me cute little notes around the house.

Liz Kelly: Guys without money to burn need to work a little harder, that’s all. Small gestures, like burning a CD of your favorite music, go a long way towards making a woman feel special. Guys should also pay for dates early on. Career women are happy to pick up the tab when dating someone seriously, but in the early stages of dating, the guy should get the tab. It sets the stage for building a stronger relationship.

Jillian Straus: I agree that there’s still value in symbolic gestures like being taken out to a nice dinner. It doesn’t mean that I’m not a modern women, it’s just that I really value the symbolic exchange—it makes a woman feel adored.

Jen: Even if you have a lot of money, you still need to be romantic. If all you do is flash your money around, you’ll only attract the gold-diggers.

Q: Any advice for women?
Dann: In general, a woman should ignore finances and pick the guy who makes her laugh. All the money in the world won’t matter if sitting across the dinner table from this guy night after night bores you to tears.

 

[Ilk]

Liz Kelly: For a woman who’s on a limited budget and feels strapped, it’s scary to take on someone who’s making significantly less money. That pressure can create an imbalance in the relationship which can make people — both men and women — feel uncomfortable.


I agree with that... Def true... I've been in that situation before.... I've dated someone who didn't have much money... I was fine with paying for stuff... BUT he wasn't... So that didn't work...

I also agree with...

Jen: I’ve dated men with money and without and have often found that guys with money have an overwhelming sense of entitlement. You’re never that special to them because they think they can get any woman they want. Now I’m trying to find someone in the middle: Someone with a decent income but who is a nice guy.


To find someone on my level and still be nice.... Its hard...

 

[The Shadow]

To find someone on my level and still be nice.... Its hard...

Reminds me of A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when Brick asks Maggie what her level is, so that he can raise or lower himself to it.

LOL


Good replies

 

[Ilk]

Reminds me of A Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when Brick asks Maggie what her level is, so that he can raise or lower himself to it.

LOL


Good replies

Thats funny...

 

[Bikini Mod]

Didnt read the article because I already know the answer.

For me it is less about the salary and more about how he achieved it.

 

[The Shadow]

Didnt read the article because I already know the answer.

For me it is less about the salary and more about how he achieved it.

"the" answer...so there is just one??

 

[Lao Tzu]

Didnt read the article because I already know the answer.

For me it is less about the salary and more about how he achieved it.

Is that true though? Not to be a dick to you, but I thought you preferred only wealthy men and I got the impression you didn't mind as much how they got there (hard work, cheating, good ideas, parents, etc). Do you target rich men who got rich for some good reason?


Thank god we chemists make a decent income. Just saying you're in school for chemistry/biochemistry makes womens eyes light up in my experience of hitting on them. And for all the talk about equality for the most part many women still prefer a man who makes the same/more than her. So if you are a female doctor you pic of men is very limited.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Is that true though? Not to be a dick to you, but I thought you preferred only wealthy men and I got the impression you didn't mind as much how they got there (hard work, cheating, good ideas, parents, etc). Do you target rich men who got rich for some good reason?


Thank god we chemists make a decent income. And for all the talk about equality for the most part many women still prefer a man who makes the same/more than her. So if you are a female doctor you pic of men is very limited.

Not taking you as being a dick at all. Your inquiry is legitimate.

It is VERY important to me HOW a man achieved his wealth. Lying/cheating/stealing/or living off of daddy's money are NOT acceptable to me.

 

[Bikini Mod]

"the" answer...so there is just one??

For me, yes....

For every woman there is one answer, but that doesnt mean it is the same one for each.

 

[ponyfitness]

Thank god we chemists make a decent income. Just saying you're in school for chemistry/biochemistry makes womens eyes light up in my experience of hitting on them. And for all the talk about equality for the most part many women still prefer a man who makes the same/more than her. So if you are a female doctor you pic of men is very limited.

I would also say it shows you are intelligent, which besides money is another big attractive quality for women in my experience.

 

[gotmilk]

I have a huge wallet

 

[The Shadow]

For me, yes....

Interesting that there isnt a variation that would work for you

 

[jnevin]

It cracks me up the way people can be so quick to call people gold diggers when they use their money, or the illusion that they have money to meet girls or guys. I have friends that act like the biggest ballers that make decent money, but they throw it around at the club (first mistake), meet club girls that are probably aestiticians (sp?) making $10/ hr living with roommates, tell them about all the great shit they'll do with them (trips to Vegas, shopping), to get laid, and then bitch about the girl being a gold digger after they get what they want, saying the girl was only in it for the money. Fuckface, that's all you talked about.

I have girls I'm friends with that have done the same.

I feel lucky that I'm not dating, because people seem nuts anymore. All the stories my friends have make me think I'd just be a monk if I was single again. As far as the money goes, I met the wifey when we were each making maybe $1,500/ mo. If I dated again, I'd want someone that does well just because it would show a certain level of responsibility. I only care about spending it when it's expected of me.

 

[test boy ii]

I can't tell you if a mans slary is important.

But his salary can be.

heh

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

Bottom line is money is nothing more than a means to an end.

 

[CO B-man]

its only the size that matters! lol

 

[Ilk]

Trust you to come up with that!

LOL

 

[Daisy_Girl]

FOr me, salary does not matter. In my dating years, I dated a couple people with money, and was not that impressed. Obviously, that is not indicative of the entire male population so I so not assume money=jerk. But it was my limited experience, lol.

I just never think about searching out people with money nor am I that interested in it. My husband and I make a decent living - we pay the bills pretty easily and have no debt (we only have a mortgage and my SUV payment). We make enough to put away some money for retirement and a tiny bit at a time for daughter's college.

And I couldn't be happier. While I would enjoy having a little more monthly income (who wouldn't?), my happiness with my life FAR exceeds anything money can bring.

 

[Sassy69]

When I was younger the salary wasn't that important because I / we were still working our way up. What was important is what your goals & aspirations were, were they realistic and were you actually workign towards them. Also I was there for certain of my friends to lean on when they needed it - the question then became - would they be there for me if I needed to lean? I've probably toned down my generosity because in my experience my generosity really just became one more thing that enabled said friend to cruise a little longer w/ no responsibility and I gave them a reprieve from ending up in the street or something. I'm not my friend's money tree. How this has impacted me? I expect nothign from anyone and I dont' give much either. I will generally be there if a close friend or definitely a family member needs something but anyone else can probably just take a flying leap.

At my age now I absolutely expect a minimum from anyone I get involved w/ or have to rely on -- if they've been on the planet the same duration of time that I have, I assume they've had roughly the same experience and time to make their dreams happen that I have - if they are parasites I really dont' have any interest. I won't be supporting someone else so I expect probably soemthign around comparable to where I am in life. Simply because where I am in life was driven by me expectations of myself - I dont' expect any more of anyone else than I expect of myself and further I probably expect a lot less from others because I'm just that way. But not at my expense. Its not the money / income, but rather the work ethic, morals, values behind it that matter to me. And sure there can be people who bust their butt and dont' make much -- doesn't make them bad people but its not somethign I'm interested in - I guess that falls under being at a different place in your life or having different fundamental goals and expectations. I don't have the energy to accommodate someone who is that fundamentally different from me.

 

[Daisy_Girl]

When I was younger the salary wasn't that important because I / we were still working our way up. What was important is what your goals & aspirations were, were they realistic and were you actually workign towards them. Also I was there for certain of my friends to lean on when they needed it - the question then became - would they be there for me if I needed to lean? I've probably toned down my generosity because in my experience my generosity really just became one more thing that enabled said friend to cruise a little longer w/ no responsibility and I gave them a reprieve from ending up in the street or something. I'm not my friend's money tree. How this has impacted me? I expect nothign from anyone and I dont' give much either. I will generally be there if a close friend or definitely a family member needs something but anyone else can probably just take a flying leap.

At my age now I absolutely expect a minimum from anyone I get involved w/ or have to rely on -- if they've been on the planet the same duration of time that I have, I assume they've had roughly the same experience and time to make their dreams happen that I have - if they are parasites I really dont' have any interest. I won't be supporting someone else so I expect probably soemthign around comparable to where I am in life. Simply because where I am in life was driven by me expectations of myself - I dont' expect any more of anyone else than I expect of myself and further I probably expect a lot less from others because I'm just that way. But not at my expense. Its not the money / income, but rather the work ethic, morals, values behind it that matter to me. And sure there can be people who bust their butt and dont' make much -- doesn't make them bad people but its not somethign I'm interested in - I guess that falls under being at a different place in your life or having different fundamental goals and expectations. I don't have the energy to accommodate someone who is that fundamentally different from me.

Good post ..... and I do agree with it. I guess I have a different viewpoint since I am married. If I were to suddenly be single, I would likely adopt these thoughts - esp since I have a daughter to raise. Interesting.

 

[HiDnGoD]

When my wife started working, I didn't know how much money she could make as a bookeeper. Now she makes more, base pay, than I do as a tradesman. It's funny, though. As a married family man, it wouldn't matter THAT much to me, if she didn't work.
But if I was single, she would have to be a girl who either worked for min wage but had goals she was working towards; or was making relatively decent money.

 

[theCatWhispurrer]

now adays salary really does matter, any woman that I have assoiated with lately is looking for a wallet and a man to look after them, they want to be looked after. It does not matter if you are a nice guy or not, it's just how fat your wallet is now

 

[fistfullofsteel]

DOES a man's slary matter??

Is Wodin really really old???

 

[test boy ii]

When I kind of had a great job title, a lot of women asked if I wanted to get married.

Is this a surprise?

 

[H_T_]

if it doesn't matter that much, why don't you give it to someone else?

 

[Arabian]

It only matters when you get divorced.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Good post ..... and I do agree with it. I guess I have a different viewpoint since I am married. If I were to suddenly be single, I would likely adopt these thoughts - esp since I have a daughter to raise. Interesting.

Multiply that times 4.

I am not some starry-eyed teenager or early 20-something y/o with no responsibilities. Nor do I find younger men appealing.

If a man is in his mid 40's and he hasn't achieved a modicum of success then why on earth would I give him the time of day?

Having said that money is very very important as none of us lives on a desert island. However, money will not buy happiness, good health or a second of time past.

It can buy sex but it can never buy love.

Interestingly enough it wasn't me that brought up the topic of marriage or even a committed relationship to my current husband. IT WAS HIS IDEA. The first man of all the sea of men that I had dated that actually WANTED to step up to the plate and take on all the negatives (and they are serious) that come along with being with me. I still say to him that I cant believe he wanted all the "bad stuff" that comes along with me. He smiles and says, "What BAD stuff honey? I love you and that's all there is."

 

[Bikini Mod]

Hey Shadow... does a woman's looks matter? Not trying to be a dick, just asking.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Hey Shadow... does a woman's looks matter? Not trying to be a dick, just asking.

I personally think looks make a difference. Luckily I am married to a woman that is not only beautiful on the outside but has a stunningly beautiful heart.

As far as money goes, without it how can one fly back and forth from one state to another for dates? Greyhound is not an option as the Manager where I work would put my on the drive-up window if I miss more than 2 days of work in a row. I hate the drive up window, especially at night when all the drunks order 6 burgers and only have enough money for a large fries. The register is way too hard to use.

 

[H_T_]

I personally think looks make a difference. Luckily I am married to a woman that is not only beautiful on the outside but has a stunningly beautiful heart.

As far as money goes, without it how can one fly back and forth from one state to another for dates? Greyhound is not an option as the Manager where I work would put my on the drive-up window if I miss more than 2 days of work in a row. I hate the drive up window, especially at night when all the drunks order 6 burgers and only have enough money for a large fries. The register is way too hard to use.

looks as appearance or facial features? a nice body shows me she will take care of herself, has brains, basic hygiene down pat, etc. so it's not a bad thing. if you'll only date a girl cuz she's a knockout, well, prepare to burn...

 

[Bikini Mod]

I personally think looks make a difference. Luckily I am married to a woman that is not only beautiful on the outside but has a stunningly beautiful heart.

As far as money goes, without it how can one fly back and forth from one state to another for dates? Greyhound is not an option as the Manager where I work would put my on the drive-up window if I miss more than 2 days of work in a row. I hate the drive up window, especially at night when all the drunks order 6 burgers and only have enough money for a large fries. The register is way too hard to use.

Baby... your laptop is still logged on as me! LOL

 

[Bikini Mod]

looks as appearance or facial features? a nice body shows me she will take care of herself, has brains, basic hygiene down pat, etc. so it's not a bad thing. if you'll only date a girl cuz she's a knockout, well, prepare to burn...

Darlin - he has spent millions on worthless coochie. He got what he paid for because at the time that was all he wanted: some quick pretty coochie that when he got bored of, he dismissed. Some cost more to get rid of then others.

He didnt buy me,'twas the difference as I was not for sale.

 

[gjohnson5]

In a Capitalist society , yes
In a more socialist society whre folks are taxed and services are free, $$$ is not so much the case

Bottom line is money is nothing more than a means to an end.

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

Baby... your laptop is still logged on as me! LOL

Damn pretend laptops. OK, Now. I gave up a decent position just to spend some time being a husband & father.

As has been previously stated, money is merely a means to have some freedom... Course it really makes a difference when you can stand on your wallet and se over the crowd. I really wish I owned a wallet.

 

[Bikini Mod]

In a Capitalist society , yes
In a more socialist society whre folks are taxed and services are free, $$$ is not so much the case

You've obviously never dated a Russian broad.

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

In a Capitalist society , yes
In a more socialist society whre folks are taxed and services are free, $$$ is not so much the case

I can see you have never dated Russian,Ukranian,Latvian or Bellarussian women... Average monthly salary is about 100$US so having 300$US in your pocket makes quite an impression, now if you has three-hundred bucks at The Men's Club in Dallas, you had better order one draft beer and leave RikiTik.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Damn pretend laptops. OK, Now. I gave up a decent position just to spend some time being a husband & father.

As has been previously stated, money is merely a means to have some freedom... Course it really makes a difference when you can stand on your wallet and se over the crowd. I really wish I owned a wallet.

The hell you say? You mean you found a woman to marry you even though you no longer own a wallet?

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

The hell you say? You mean you found a woman to marry you even though you no longer own a wallet?

Yup! I certainly did, used my charm, wit, awesome unkept and portly body to impress and mystify... Damn I am impressed with myself.


I don't need a wallet, I give you all the money anyway.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Yup! I certainly did, used my charm, wit, awesome unkept and portly body to impress and mystify... Damn I am impressed with myself.


I don't need a wallet, I give you all the money anyway.

True dat.

 

[gjohnson5]

That's not completely my point. Everyone's income needs to be adjusted based on the cost of living no matter where you live.

But after you make your money and taxes are taken out, what one does with that money is up to them. If you are tight on cash , you probably shouldn't be in RikiTiki in the first place.

I can see you have never dated Russian,Ukranian,Latvian or Bellarussian women... Average monthly salary is about 100$US so having 300$US in your pocket makes quite an impression, now if you has three-hundred bucks at The Men's Club in Dallas, you had better order one draft beer and leave RikiTik.

 

[gjohnson5]

Anyway , I think in those societies, folks probably have much cheaper health care (if not free) and schooling then they have here.

 

[Bikini Mod]

That's not completely my point. Everyone's income needs to be adjusted based on the cost of living no matter where you live.

But after you make your money and taxes are taken out, what one does with that money is up to them. If you are tight on cash , you probably shouldn't be in RikiTiki in the first place.

Feel you... What do you think the percentage of asshats who are tight on cash throwing their money away at any given moment in a titty bar is anyway?

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

Anyway , I think in those societies, folks probably have much cheaper health care (if not free) and schooling then they have here.

Well, Healthcare is important, but eating is also a concern. Spending a great deal of time in the CIS States is a real eye opener.

 

[gjohnson5]

Tell me how health care works in your country. I have tried to get health care in a number of states (USA) and due to pre-existing conditions, I have been denied medical insurance a number of times even though I have plenty of money to spend on it.

This is what I'm talking about. Insurance will not even pay for your medical care here if thier is a chance you will be an expensive client. In Georgia for instance they deny people without any existing conditions , but if you report that you are over weight for instnace Kaiser Permente will deny you (didn't report any medical conditions and still lied about my weight being 215)

This is one of the most corrupt issues I have seen in America

Well, Healthcare is important, but eating is also a concern. Spending a great deal of time in the CIS States is a real eye opener.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Tell me how health care works in your country. I have tried to get health care in a number of states (USA) and due to pre-existing conditions, I have been denied medical insurance a number of times even though I have plenty of money to spend on it.

This is what I'm talking about. Insurance will not even pay for your medical care here if thier is a chance you will be an expensive client. In Georgia for instance they deny people without any existing conditions , but if you report that you are over weight for instnace Kaiser Permente will deny you (didn't report any medical conditions and still lied about my weight being 215)

This is one of the most corrupt issues I have seen in America

One of the reasons that I moved FROM the US 3+ years ago is because I couldnt get health insurance either.

 

[Smurfy]

I have never been overly concerned with a man's slary

 

[test boy ii]

I have never missed a big ca*k thread

Serious?

 

[velvett]

Yes, salary and career growth/direction both matter.

I don't have the concentration level this second to go into detail this moment, so try not to make too many assumptions based on the statement.

 

[test boy ii]

Yes, salary and career growth/direction both matter.

I don't have the concentration level this second to go into detail this moment, so try not to make too many assumptions based on the statement.

Really?

I'm stunned.

 

[Smurfy]

Yes, salary and career growth/direction both matter.

I don't have the concentration level this second to go into detail this moment, so try not to make too many assumptions based on the statement.

I think for me, there are other qualities that would typically result in a decent salary, which I would focus on:
drive
ambition
education
intelligence
competence
responsibility
etc.

 

[jd_uk]

Bottom line is money is nothing more than a means to an end.

Yep.

As a man, i'd feel very, very empty if my wife or girlfriend wouldn't be with me if i didn't have money. It's no wonder so many men get depressed when they have financial difficulties.

I'm lucky that i'm very good at reading the character of a person very quickly.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Yep.

As a man, i'd feel very, very empty if my wife or girlfriend wouldn't be with me if i didn't have money. It's no wonder so many men get depressed when they have financial difficulties.

I'm lucky that i'm very good at reading the character of a person very quickly.

It would be equally hurtfull if a man feigned interest in a woman because she was "arm candy" or just to get into her pants. See, it isnt so easy for that to be discovered sometimes until the woman is emotionally invested.

But as with every other unpleasant life experience. We learn and we move on. Or we stay miserable.

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

It would be equally hurtfull if a man feigned interest in a woman because she was "arm candy" or just to get into her pants. See, it isnt so easy for that to be discovered sometimes until the woman is emotionally invested.

But as with every other unpleasant life experience. We learn and we move on. Or we stay miserable.

Hey I have the best of all worlds, Eye Candy and a woman with brains!

 

[jd_uk]

I think for me, there are other qualities that would typically result in a decent salary, which I would focus on:
drive
ambition
education
intelligence
competence
responsibility
etc.

If i were a woman then these would be far more important to me than some numbers in the bank. How many very successful, intelligent, ambitious, driven guys are there in the world that do not care at all about being wealthy? A lot...

Whether it be a man who is dedicated to charity work, a man who is dedicated to walking again after a serious accident, a man who is dedicated to being the best in their field (e.g. a professor/researcher), a sportsman who wants to be the best (amateur of professional...money not being what matters to them). I can think of examples of each of these in real life and i find it hard to understand how any woman (or man) could not feel pretty cold hearted to only consider those with large bank balances.

 

[Bikini Mod]

If i were a woman then these would be far more important to me than some numbers in the bank. How many very successful, intelligent, ambitious, driven guys are there in the world that do not care at all about being wealthy? A lot...

Whether it be a man who is dedicated to charity work, a man who is dedicated to walking again after a serious accident, a man who is dedicated to being the best in their field (e.g. a professor/researcher), a sportsman who wants to be the best (amateur of professional...money not being what matters to them). I can think of examples of each of these in real life and i find it hard to understand how any woman (or man) could not feel pretty cold hearted to only consider those with large bank balances.

Not to be a prick, but that statement makes little sense.

But it's ok... We can agree to disagree.

 

[jd_uk]

Not to be a prick, but that statement makes little sense.

But it's ok... We can agree to disagree.

I don't expect it would make sense to you darlin.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I don't expect it would make sense to you darlin.

And why is that? Scroll back and read Sassy, Daisy and Velvett's posts.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I think for me, there are other qualities that would typically result in a decent salary, which I would focus on:
drive
ambition
education
intelligence
competence
responsibility
etc.

Agreed whole heartedly I want a man that is driven to be the best he can be in all aspects of his life.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Agreed whole heartedly I want a man that is driven to be the best he can be in all aspects of his life.

So you are telling me that you would date a man that is 48 years old, lives with his parents, has no money in the bank and can barely make ends meet?

 

[jd_uk]

And why is that?

...because you equate money with success. I find that bizarre personally for the reasons already listed.

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

If i were a woman then these would be far more important to me than some numbers in the bank. How many very successful, intelligent, ambitious, driven guys are there in the world that do not care at all about being wealthy? A lot...

Whether it be a man who is dedicated to charity work, a man who is dedicated to walking again after a serious accident, a man who is dedicated to being the best in their field (e.g. a professor/researcher), a sportsman who wants to be the best (amateur of professional...money not being what matters to them). I can think of examples of each of these in real life and i find it hard to understand how any woman (or man) could not feel pretty cold hearted to only consider those with large bank balances.

The measure of success is determined by the compensation one receives for his/her time. Any other questions? Otherwise the Peace Corps is a great place to learn another language and serve humanity. Sadly few people in this world give of themselves that freely.

I contribute to many causes by virtue of the ability gained being a cold hearted capitalist and being given the opportunity to assist numbers of humans instead of placing trees in a desert.

And besides I like beautiful women, brilliant conversation and quick wit.

 

[jd_uk]

So you are telling me that you would date a man that is 48 years old, lives with his parents, has no money in the bank and can barely make ends meet?

Did she say that??? Your reality isn't very real.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

So you are telling me that you would date a man that is 48 years old, lives with his parents, has no money in the bank and can barely make ends meet?

Umm no how would that make him driven? That would make him a lazy washed up slob that lives at home. I want a man with drive and a passion for there career and what they do. I don't care if that career is blue colar or white as long as the love it and give it there all. Also FYI I know a lot blue colar guys make as much if not more then some Dr.'s and Lawyers.

 

[jd_uk]

The measure of success is determined by the compensation one receives for his/her time. Any other questions? Otherwise the Peace Corps is a great place to learn another language and serve humanity. Sadly few people in this world give of themselves that freely.

I contribute to many causes by virtue of the ability gained being a cold hearted capitalist and being given the opportunity to assist numbers of humans instead of placing trees in a desert.

And besides I like beautiful women, brilliant conversation and quick wit.

1. I don't believe that i asked you a question.

2. Does this compensation you talk about have to be in material form? Otherwise i agree with you.

3. I'm happy that you contribute to good causes. This can be done without money however.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Umm no how would that make him driven? That would make him a lazy washed up slob that lives at home. I want a man with drive and a passion for there career and what they do. I don't care if that career is blue colar or white as long as the love it and give it there all. Also FYI I know a lot blue colar guys make as much if not more then some Dr.'s and Lawyers.

As a man quoted above he has dedicated his life to charity work?!

I know man, many blue collar guys that make far more than MOST white collar guys. I never went for white collar types as ultimately someone else was in control of their destiny. I was (and still am) most attracted to men that made their money as entrepenuers. You dont even need a college degree to make decent money in your own business. Hell, my parents couldnt even speak English!

 

[jd_uk]

Umm no how would that make him driven? That would make him a lazy washed up slob that lives at home. I want a man with drive and a passion for there career and what they do. I don't care if that career is blue colar or white as long as the love it and give it there all. Also FYI I know a lot blue colar guys make as much if not more then some Dr.'s and Lawyers.

Superqt...i don't believe that BM understands this concept very well. She wants money and that is her choice...even if i was loaded (which i'm not) i'd quite happily pay her off as i would never want to spend my time with a woman who so openly said that she would not be with me if i did not have that money.

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

...because you equate money with success. I find that bizarre personally for the reasons already listed.

Let me see... Money = success. In this world seems to me there are few successful people pushing a shopping cart and collecting soda cans.
By the way that avitar of yours looks like a plastic blow up date. Just guessing, but success = a portable and inflatable date?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Did she say that??? Your reality isn't very real.

No... but you did.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

As a man quoted above he has dedicated his life to charity work?!

I know man, many blue collar guys that make far more than MOST white collar guys. I never went for white collar types as ultimately someone else was in control of their destiny. I was (and still am) most attracted to men that made their money as entrepenuers. You dont even need a college degree to make decent money in your own business. Hell, my parents couldnt even speak English!

If that is what makes him happy and he can support himself then yeah why not FYI most charity workers do make money they don't actualy work for free they don't make buckets of cash but I am sure enough to get by. Like I said it ain't the bank it is the drive to be the best at what they do that I find sexy.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Superqt...i don't believe that BM understands this concept very well. She wants money and that is her choice...even if i was loaded (which i'm not) i'd quite happily pay her off as i would never want to spend my time with a woman who so openly said that she would not be with me if i did not have that money.

*yawn*

You assign notions and feelings to me that I do not have, then continue to get annoyed with me for it?

Makes sense.

I am nearly 40 y/o and have seen some life. I dont date losers and this makes me a gold-digger?

OK - guilty as charged.

 

[jd_uk]

Let me see... Money = success. In this world seems to me there are few successful people pushing a shopping cart and collecting soda cans.
By the way that avitar of yours looks like a plastic blow up date. Just guessing, but success = a portable and inflatable date?

You're clearly no genius for a start.

1. A man who has given his life to helping sick children and does his best to be the best at this.

2. An amateur sportsman who has won olympic Gold at his event.

3. A man who has made a lot of money buying and selling raw materials.

Put it this way...i (and many other people in this world) would consider #1 and #2 FAR more successful than #3...even if #3 has done some charity work on the side.

Re my avatar...thanks for your opinion on my grlfriend (and closest friend's) body picture. I personally like it.

 

[jd_uk]

*yawn*

You assign notions and feelings to me that I do not have, then continue to get annoyed with me for it?

Not at all BM, i've only commented on women who would not date a man unless he had money. Sorry you find this so offensive and personal.

 

[Smurfy]

I'm still not ure why anyone would care what another person's personal preferences are when it comes to being attracted a potential mate? Why would I care what you or anyone else's preferences are? That doesnt affect me. If BM wants to be only attracted to self-made millionaires, while I may not share her beliefs with that regard, I certainly dont see how I should care who she chooses to spend her time with..

 

[jd_uk]

*yawn*

I dont date losers and this makes me a gold-digger?

This sums up your character also. It's not a very nicecharacter that refers to people who don't make a load of money as losers.

 

[jd_uk]

I'm still not ure why anyone would care what another person's personal preferences are when it comes to being attracted a potential mate? Why would I care what you or anyone else's preferences are? That doesnt affect me. If BM wants to be only attracted to self-made millionaires, while I may not share her beliefs with that regard, I certainly dont see how I should care who she chooses to spend her time with..

Of course it is her choice....many have just responded to the thread title though with their own view.

 

[Smurfy]

If i were a woman then these would be far more important to me than some numbers in the bank. How many very successful, intelligent, ambitious, driven guys are there in the world that do not care at all about being wealthy? A lot...

Whether it be a man who is dedicated to charity work, a man who is dedicated to walking again after a serious accident, a man who is dedicated to being the best in their field (e.g. a professor/researcher), a sportsman who wants to be the best (amateur of professional...money not being what matters to them). I can think of examples of each of these in real life and i find it hard to understand how any woman (or man) could not feel pretty cold hearted to only consider those with large bank balances.

Yeah, but I said decent salary, not wealthy. I dont care about someone being wealthy. If between the two of us, we can live a comfortable lifestyle, then why stress much about the exact bank balance? useless, IMO. Like I mentioned, for me, there are more important traits to look for in a man - and luckily I was able to find them in Lumberg.

 

[healother]

shoot, lets face it, im never going to marry a pretty woman

 

[fistfullofsteel]

I have never been overly concerned with a man's slary

o ok, instead of being 100% concerned about a man's salary, you are 99.99% concerned instead.

 

[Smurfy]

o ok, instead of being 100% concerned about a man's salary, you are 99.99% concerned instead.

lol nice way to interpret my words there. i suppose you have ignored all my other posts on this thread. FYI - I have never been with a man who made more money than I (and I never made more than $35,000 a year) until I met Lumberg. And since Ive been promoted, Im about to double my (measly) salary, and I will be making just slightly more him now. Soooooooooooo, how would you interpret that>? Im curious.

 

[test boy ii]

The people who strive the hardest may well be the most likely to go bankrupt etc.

People with simple lives have an easier time saving money.

I wouldn't call money in the bank the best indicator of success. A person who is striving to become more successful will likely spend the money in an attempt to grow more successful.

Some businesses are harder than others.

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

Yeah, but I said decent salary, not wealthy. I dont care about someone being wealthy. If between the two of us, we can live a comfortable lifestyle, then why stress much about the exact bank balance? useless, IMO. Like I mentioned, for me, there are more important traits to look for in a man - and luckily I was able to find them in Lumberg.

Before we go out to dinner. Clarification as to why BM used to date only self made men. Even though I can more than afford dinner out, I like to cook here at home.

Once you make it should something happen there is no question he can make it again. Character and all that go with men that make their own way in the world is not a negative. But she chooses to spend time with a man that can afford dinner and other perks that come with having disposable income. I am lucky enough to be married to her so the dating part is moot. Wooooo Hooooo

Comfort is all this is about. And cash doesn't make a man/woman, but, character and ability does. AND I know a few people that have won gold medals, they have some pretty hefty checks from sponsoships/endorsements and personal appearances.

All in all, moeny is merely a means to do what you want, when you want and how you want. I told BM when we met and today, money can't buy love, happiness, health or a minute of the day that has passed.

 

[mrplunkey]

Everyone discriminates when they choose a partner.

There are lots of measures to discriminate by.

Some people feel all measures are equally valid.

Some people find some measure(s) distasteful.

I personally am very sceptical of people who use weath as a discriminating measure.

 

[manny78]

Haley: My current boyfriend pays for everything and I think I make more than he does, but I like it that way because it feels romantic, caring and chivalrous. Dating a man without money is really tough because you end up paying for everything and that wears on you after awhile.

True gold digger....

 

[stilleto]

Its a hard question for most women to answer.
who wouldn't want to date someone who made a nice living? but that doesn't mean that plenty of women wouldn't- its just more of a priority to some than others.
but... along with making a DECENT salary (not WEALTHY, necessarily) are the traits that go along with it- intelligence, reliability, hard-working, driven, etc.
most people who posess those traits also make a somewhat decent salary, or will as they progress in their career.
not too many women like a lazy man with no ambition whatsoever.

 

[biteme]

My girl says, "Hell yes it matters!" But yet she is with my poor ass. She said she's with me for my dick but she charges me for it. I've gotta kick her ass now.

 

[Smurfy]

Its a hard question for most women to answer.
who wouldn't want to date someone who made a nice living? but that doesn't mean that plenty of women wouldn't- its just more of a priority to some than others.
but... along with making a DECENT salary (not WEALTHY, necessarily) are the traits that go along with it- intelligence, reliability, hard-working, driven, etc.
most people who posess those traits also make a somewhat decent salary, or will as they progress in their career.
not too many women like a lazy man with no ambition whatsoever.

um, that's what I was TRYING to say, but not sure if it went over well?

 

[bran987]

lol I didn't read this but if it doesn't matter we're in big trouble as a society.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

lol nice way to interpret my words there. i suppose you have ignored all my other posts on this thread. FYI - I have never been with a man who made more money than I (and I never made more than $35,000 a year) until I met Lumberg. And since Ive been promoted, Im about to double my (measly) salary, and I will be making just slightly more him now. Soooooooooooo, how would you interpret that>? Im curious.

you are going to divorce him and find a new guy, duh.

 

[Smurfy]

you are going to divorce him and find a new guy, duh.

well hopefully it'll be a rich one.

and I'm only friends with bran because I heard his dad is rich and rich people rule the world. down with the poor man!

 

[mrplunkey]

well hopefully it'll be a rich one.

and I'm only friends with bran because I heard his dad is rich and rich people rule the world. down with the poor man!

That's very Republican of you.

 

[Smurfy]

That's very Republican of you.

Im into personal fiscal responsibility as you know.

 

[mrplunkey]

Im into personal fiscal responsibility as you know.

That indicates you are mean-spiritied and want to obstruct our fine goverment's good intentions of helping you. You probably starve widows and orphans too.

 

[Smurfy]

That indicates you are mean-spiritied and want to obstruct our fine goverment's good intentions of helping you. You probably starve widows and orphans too.

down with the welfare state!

 

[mrplunkey]

I wonder if the criteria were changed from "wealth" to something else if posters on this board would find discrimination more or less distasteful.

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you discovered he/she had a chronic disease?

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you discovered he/she had a child?

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you discovered he/she had a parent who had emotional problems later in life?

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you learned of a checkered past?

Are any of these criteria more or less distasteful than discriminating on wealth?

 

[mrplunkey]

down with the welfare state!

I knew it! You're busted.

We should send you to sensitivity training so you'll feel good about paying your fair share.

 

[Smurfy]

I wonder if the criteria were changed from "wealth" to something else if posters on this board would find discrimination more or less distasteful.

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you discovered he/she had a chronic disease?

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you discovered he/she had a child?

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you discovered he/she had a parent who had emotional problems later in life?

What if you disqualified a potential bf/gf when you learned of a checkered past?

Are any of these criteria more or less distasteful than discriminating on wealth?

good question.

 

[healother]

but... along with making a DECENT salary (not WEALTHY, necessarily) are the traits that go along with it- intelligence, reliability, hard-working, driven, etc.
most people who posess those traits also make a somewhat decent salary, or will as they progress in their career.
not too many women like a lazy man with no ambition whatsoever.

this sucks. i am the definition of a lazy man. i have been 3 weeks without a job now, and am no where near finding one. i havent been to the gym in probably a year. i would love to change this but i dont know how.

so basically im screwed then, when it comes to women?

 

[caligirl]

No, but he needs to be able to take care of his responsibilities, and be happy with where ever he is in his life.

 

[Smurfy]

this sucks. i am the definition of a lazy man. i have been 3 weeks without a job now, and am no where near finding one. i havent been to the gym in probably a year. i would love to change this but i dont know how.

so basically im screwed then, when it comes to women?

you're lame.

 

[stilleto]

um, that's what I was TRYING to say, but not sure if it went over well?

i knew what you meant. I was going to say i agreed with you, but since you were being misunderstood, i didn't want to be also.