Distance in dating

[chesty]

or attempting to.

When I was dating my ex wife many moons ago, I would drive 1300 miles one way every weekend just to see her for 12 hours or so before I would have to leave to get back to base. I did this for almost 8 months before I was stationed closer and still had a 200 mile drive every weekend.

Well as you know we were together for 17 years before it went bust. I thought it was worth it.

Now here we are 17 years later with technology and such that lets you contact people thousands of miles away. And with air travel so cheap one could literally see someone almost as much as if they were in the same zip code.

I have a couple of friends that dated across the country and one in Denmark and it worked out for them. And mine worked out for the most part.

So, my question is this:

How much would that factor into your consideration to attempt it or not?

Would you at least try?

I asked because I have been faced with this and I want to do what's right and not be selfish just because it can be done.

I have the dedication and the means to do it, but is it fair to someone else even if they are willing?

 

[theoak01]

id think you would have to be friends first for it to work out and have built pretty good trust between you two

 

[-SD-]

Do it with the understanding that she doesnt have to keep up with you as far as spending the money and time to visit you, since you have the means and all. Tell her you want to see her and spending the money on travel etc, isnt a problem for you but you dont want her to feel like she has to do the same.

 

[DIVISION]

How much would that factor into your consideration to attempt it or not?

Would you at least try?

I have the dedication and the means to do it, but is it fair to someone else even if they are willing?

It's all about the level of communication and trust you have with that person, Chester.

If you have that understanding, then I don't think it matters what the distance is, provided you have the maturity to accept a long distance relationship and all that comes with it.

I've done it, and my case was to the extreme........she was in another country. I know myself and what my needs are, and I think it's only fair at this stage to be in a relationship with someone who I can interact with on a daily basis in the flesh, most likely someone who lives with me.

If both of you are willing to accept the responsibility, then by all means it's fair.



DIV

 

[SoKlueles]

patience and willingness to be together

 

[chesty]

Yes, I'm friends with her and we get along well so far. I understand as well where she is coming from with other things in her life as well and greatly respect her in that area.

Of course I would shoulder the burden.

When I find something/someone I like I go for it so I jumped in with both feet before I realized it. My intentions are known and I have zero experience in this area, even in same zip code situation. So I am sort of figuring this out on the fly.

 

[Dial_tone]

It works if you call her a fuck buddy and not a relationship.

 

[chesty]

it hasn't progressed beyond friends yet, and may not. I am not in a hurry and want her to know there is zero pressure for anything. She is, well all I can say is what I have always wanted in a woman (so far) in the past I settled for what I was comfortable with.

I would never even consider her remotely close to that (that was a rude comment)

She is the most incredible woman I have ever met. I have met a few, but not like her. I just don't want to end up making an ass of myself. Which most of you know I can do pretty well...

Anyway, just looking for some advice.

I guess I am just old fashioned.

 

[hamstershaver]

if you think it would lead to something permanent then why not

 

[chesty]

that is my outlook, but I always fear taking the chance...don't like not winning.