Great answers.
But - for those of YOU who do it and not have it done to you - do you really deserve what you discover? I mean you are invading their privacy which is uncalled for, but if they are lying, shouldn't you know?
The reason I ask is last night we (my partner and I) had dinner with another couple we are really great friends with. They have been together about 4 years and by all means really really love each other. I mean, they appear solid in every aspect. I noticed one last night didn't eat very much and seemed very distracted throughout much of the dinner. Later I asked him if was feeling well and he confided in me - without knowing I was going to blab it on an internet fitness board to thousands of strangers - that the other one left the night before to go to the gym and forgot to close out his email account. His email (and his side of the computer itself) is always password locked which the first one didn't understand why he was so protective of his privacy.
Anyway, to make a long story short, he sat down and read a few emails, which turned into reading emails all the way back to January (before they were truncated by the system.) And the guy didn't go to the gym. He went to someone's house for sex. I was floored and honestly thought he was making it up, but he assured me he wasn't and he forwarded all the emails from that email account to his own. And sent me quite a few of them today to show me he wasn't lying. He even drove by the gym last night and the car wasn't there, but was at the address that he looked up online for the guy. And it wasn't an isolate incident. It was many many times with various guys. he was even hiring escorts off of websites like rentboy.com I was stunned because his partner is a beautiful guy (the one being cheated on, not the one cheating). And it was not just that. It was a lot of deception too. Like when he was suppose to be in such and such city on business, he was in another state all together, making plans to hook up with these guys he met on the internet and have them in his room. There were even emails he sent his boss those days saying he was sick and wouldn't be into work those days.
The most hurtful part was that not only was he doing this, but he was even sending out emails to friends he knew prior to his relationship bragging about it. he was typing all this sleazy details of what was going on and what they did - which was very graphic. I never knew someone could live such a hypocritical life. Especially when he always talked down and made crude remarks about people in interracial relationships and how black guys were disgusting to see naked and all. yet several of these were black guys themselves. And many of the guys were in town here and his emails too them always asked them to be discrete and don't let his parnter know they had sex many times. Some of these guys I recognized as their "friends" and who he was always inviting to his social functions. Watching their behavior together, I thought some of the things they were doing was just play and joking, but no it was because they had already done those very things they were hinting at. It was like they were laughing in his partner's face.
So the question here is - this guy did invade his partner's privacy which he shouldn't have. But did he deserve what he found? Or was him finding this out the biggest favor he could have done for himself? Was it better to be clueless and continued to be lied to and deceived while thinking this guy loved him and was honest when he talked about being faithful and shit, or is being crushed by this revelation and waking up to smell the roses the best outcome?
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