boyfriend advice...

[CherryPie]

My bf has been dieting for a show in Dec. and this past month has been tough on our relationship. Some days he's positive some days he doesn't not. I have been pressuring him about us since his actions show me good and bad. At first he said it was the diet and after the show everything will be fine, now he doesn't know if that's why he's acting like this. The weekend was alright considering I moved out so we can get through this. Well last night we broke up and he finally fessed up and he told me he's been talking to someone else for the past week but it's not what I think. He says he loves me and he knows that I'm the one he wants to spend his life with but as of now he can't handle the pressure of our tough time. He still wants to talk and see me but I told him I can't when he is talking with someone else. I really don't know what to do or think about all this.

Can someone give me some insight!

 

[Phemomena]

my advice would be to just give it space and time until after the show... do whatever you can to keep yourself busy and out of his hair... if you pressure him right now he'll probably just shut himself off to you b/c he doesn't need the extra stress...

tell him that you want to work the relationship out or discuss it or whatever, but you want to do it after the show when he can give you the proper attention and you aren't adding stress to him...

if you are concerned about this "other person" ask him if he could not make any rushed decisions or pursue that until the two of you really get a chance to determine what's up btwn you...

....or you could just chop her up into lil itty bitty bits and feed her to small dogs...

hehe..

g/l

 

[Bikini Mod]

I will be the FIRST ONE to admit that I get crazy when dieting and training REAL HARD. It messes with your mind, you are cranky (to say the least tee-hee), and tired.

But ummmmmm, I don't buy the whole "I love you and want to be with you just let me talk to this OTHER girl" shit.

I have always been of the opinion, if it is a committed relationship - then IT IS JUST THAT!

You shouldn't be angry w/him though... AT LEAST HE HAD THE BALLS TO TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE!

Leave him alone, give him ALL THE SPACE HE NEEDS and GET A LIFE FOR YOURSELF!

If after all is over you decide you want him back, that is up to you. He was a man and was honest. However, you might decide that if and when HE comes around..... that YOU DON'T WANT HIM!

...just my .02

 

[wilson6]

"He says he loves me and he knows that I'm the one he wants to spend his life with but as of now he can't handle the pressure of our tough time."

Get real.

So everything will be fine until the next tough time, and the next and the next, etc? Sure, just "let me get through this and everything will be fine". NOT

Cut him loose and let the other person he's talking to take care of his rough times. See how long that lasts.

It's always great when the person having the rough time has someone else to take care of them and a home to go back to, but their significant other is left hanging to wait for their personal crisis to pass with no one to support them.

F**k that.

W6

 

[CherryPie]

I know. I asked him last night too see where I kind of stand and asked him he he were too chose right now to consider us or talk to his new friend he said he'd choose us, than he ended up getting frustrated and didn't want to talk. I know I shouldn't of asked that but it just came out.

He wants to meet on Wednesday, that's why he called me last night, but should I?

Before all this when things were getting bad about 3 weeks ago we agreed to give each other space and he didn't want to break up but now he thinks it's the best, he says it's not because of the other girl but why would he even consider to take that issue any further?!!!

 

[Sassy69]

I guess pay attention to what our gurus are saying -- but sometimes people turn to "new" people to express themselves or ask questions. Sometimes they just need another outlet - maybe one that doesn't carry w/ it a history or any implied pressure or maybe just someone who doesn't know all the details. If its only been a week, the other person also has obviously not seen when being around a person in contest prep is like. I STILL can't mention diet around my mom without her getting upset and leaving the discussion. And its been a year and a half since my first show.

There are insane amounts of pressure and physical stress from contest prep. So I think its hard to judge someone while they are going thru this - even if they've done it a hundred times before. Just give them space and time and let them know that you are there for when they need someone who is familiar with the routine. I"m not saying tolerate any bullshit in your relationship, but give some space and don't add to the current pressure. And also make sure you don't put more pressure on yourself about the state of the relationship. If your relationship is strong, it will survive regardless of what he says. That alone should give you enough confidence to give the space and not aggravate the situation for you or him. If you are unsure, then decide how long YOU are willing to be tolerant before you decide it is truly time to cut the ties.

My opinion anyway. I lost a lot of friends and one growing relationship during my first competition - expectations and assumptions about who should "be there" to support you and put up with you are rampant during competition prep. That's just the way it is. SHouldn't be that way, but it just seems to be.

Also wanted to add that when you give people an "ultimatum" like "if you had to choose now...." they sometimes freak out and get defensive. Then the whole argument starts over. Its a frustrating question to not get a straight answer to, but its hard to provide a straight answer when you feel like like you are being given an ultimatum. Not saying its wrong, just saying its a time when the reaction shouldn't necessarily determine how you will respond to the whole situation (e.g. he doesn't sound convincing / I think he's lying, etc.)

 

[CherryPie]

thanks, but he already chose to cut the ties last night. especially after saturday when he said things will be fine and didn't want to break up. After the show he'll make it all up too me, but than he said he had given it some that and wants a normal relationship to where he doesn't have to discuss the relationship, but he doesn't want a girlfirend since his heads not straight.
I told him I understand that his show is priority but we too can be a priority, a partnership and he says we have a partnership. It's like he's two people and what hurts is thinking about him talking to this "girl" as the way he used to talk and act with me a few weeks ago. But he stresses this "girl" is not like that meaning he's not interested in that way. I thanked him for his honesty finally and if that's what he wants so be it. and yes I told him it's alot easier to have someone at these times. That's how we met when I was going thru my divorce. Go figure. He doesn't expect me wait around and I told him I wouldn't but I can't see him or talk too him when he has this so called "friendship".

Should I meet him Wednesday if he asks? I do but I don't considering, I know it's too hard for me.

 

[NubianBeauty]

I can definitely understand how you feel. My boyfriend was in a comp. over the Summer, and cranky is an understatement. He was a little depressed and worried about his appearance, always looking in the mirror. He was basically obsessed with his body for about 3 months. When you have someone that is really trying to focus and concentrate and cope the best thing for you to do is just be patient. If you really love him just be there for him and help him get through this. However, this person he is communicating with has to STOP!! NOW!! If he is having problems relating to you how can he possible be able to with someone that he isn't even close with. I know it will be hard because it was for me until I began to understand what he was going through. My bf lost 70lbs in 3 mos, he was dieting like crazy and lifting 5 days/week with little or no energy at all. Now can you even imagine going thru that. My advice would be if you truly love him, just be patient with him and be there for him....BUT he must STOP all further communication with this other woman, there is no need for him to have another woman whispering in his ear..I know you know how some women can be, they will befriend the man, belittle you and your relationship, and find fault in all that you do...that is IF he is confiding in her about your relationship. She will make herself out to be the better woman and so on. Well, did not mean to ramble, I just wanted to let you know that I have been there and sympathize with you. If you need to chat pm me and I will try to help.

 

[ann]

I'd say dump him. Sad to hear, but personally, I wouldnt take that crap.

W6 stated it perfectly in his post. He cant handle this tough time, whats he gonna do the next time?

Life is too short for you to have to wait to see when the time is right for him. Think of yourself.....

Lots and lots of fishies in the sea.....keep swimming

 

[Sassy69]

I would agree w/ NubianBeauty -- let him know that if he wants to keep the relationship, he needs to respect your place as his "confidant" just as you are respecting his space & pressure to meet his competition needs. That's only fair.

I guess its not my nature to toss a good thing that has some problems immediately - esp in the "heat of the moment". Its so damn hard to find quality people. But also never compromise yourself beyond what you are willing to give without any more expectation than just feeling good about it yourself. That's how you get "taken for granted" - anyone who can come on in a comp as strong as you did - RED SUIT G/F! is not a push-over.

 

[Trinity13]

W6, you are the man!! I totally agree with you.

Rough times are just a part of the recipe in a relationship. If every time HE or your relationship goes through a tough time he will resort to another girl. What kind of a commitment is that?

I realize that we become very short and aggressive when dieting its just a "side effect" if you will of the dieting process BUT to resort to "talk" to another person is a whole other issue. You can always talk to other people, females and males if all you want is someone's opinion or another perspective. This sounds like he's trying to get to know her before he makes his final decision of who he wants to stay with.

I for one, would cut him loose. I now this sounds easier said than done. But,we women are just tooooooooo tolerant. Realtionships are a testing of boundaries to see which ones can be crossed, just like kids test their parents. You have to put your foot down.

I know this sounds mean, and it sound like I'm a BITCH, but you have to have some pride and confidence in yourself. I'm older than most you girls here and believe me if you put up with it once you will have to put up with it again and again.

Many yeas ago I was in a physically abusive relationship the first time he hit me, after 8 years of marriage, he said he just lost control, and cried and swore he would never do it again. So against my better judgement I stayed, needless to stay that after that it would happen again and again not all the time but enough until I finally left him 1 year and 2 months later. Had I not tolerated that the FIRST time it would have never happened again. That's just like the men who cheat. If you forgive it once you'll have to forgive it over and over because they know there is NO consequence for the lack of control or misbehavior, SO what's to stop them from doing it again. NOTHING

I know I'm taking this topic to another level but you have to have perspective, you have to be able to see the signs and see ahead of what you are setting yourself UP for.

Why would you even consent to moving out? What kind of tough times are we talking about to justify you moving out? You say you've been having problems for 3 weeks and he NOW confesses that he's been talking to a girl for 1 week. Sounds very convenient he confesses to you after you had already moved out. So had you NOT moved out when was he planning to tell you that he was talking to another girl while you were still living with him? OR would he have even told you? Something else is going ON that you haven't really mentioned.

Just my .02 worth.

 

[CherryPie]

No trinity I've pretty much summed it up. We agreed That I moved out so we can have a better handle on things. The time wasn't right for us to live together.

He's opting to keep his options open and he is and told me and if this doesn't work out with the other person and realizes that I have been the one and he calls me and I'm not available than he has to live with that but I can't force him to be with me.

I love him but I need to let him go.

 

[new@gettinbig]

I am a real bitch when dieting but cmon.....that is something you should NOT accept or let happen..this situation will turn into a constatn cycle of excuses and pathetic endings. Better to let it go now, then get yourself further involved and waste anymore of your time. IF someone claims to LOVE you they would not be talking to someone else or treating you the way he is treating you now. That my friend is NOT love...hmmm maybe that is why I am never in love...hehe. No but seriously you are letting him play a game with you and your going to end up with a serious broken heart while he is fuckin some gal he met last week. Not worth your time or your emotions...why stress??? He will feed you wonderful lines and tell you he just needs time and its not you but its him...we have all heard em before. Be realistic and move on.

 

[JLo]

My personal opinion is that he is trying things out with this other girl and wants to keep you on stand by. he is getting to know her and if things work out, then he'll be with her and if things don't turn out as he expects, then you'll be there....waiting. (Not that you will, but I think that's his plan).

Any female is TOO GOOD for that. If he is willing to let you go for a long enough period for someone else to scoop you up, then he's not concerned.

I met my boyfriend and we moved in shortly after seeing each other and there is no way in hell either one of us would ever move out. We love each other and don't want to be apart. If this guy loves you, there is no reason you guys shouldn't have continued to live together.....

UNLESS - he wanted the freedom of having his own place for "other" reasons. If so, that's BS and you need to find someone that will appreciate you.

...........that's my opinion.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Many yeas ago I was in a physically abusive relationship the first time he hit me, after 8 years of marriage, he said he just lost control, and cried and swore he would never do it again. So against my better judgement I stayed, needless to stay that after that it would happen again and again not all the time but enough until I finally left him 1 year and 2 months later. Had I not tolerated that the FIRST time it would have never happened again. That's just like the men who cheat. If you forgive it once you'll have to forgive it over and over because they know there is NO consequence for the lack of control or misbehavior, SO what's to stop them from doing it again. NOTHING

My ex only hit me ONCE in thirteen years.... when my head hit the ground - WE WERE OVER - PERIOD.

Having read what you just typed, reaffirms that I did the right thing by throwing his sorry ass out.

THANK YOU.

(A little off topic, but I wanted to let you know.)

 

[NubianBeauty]

No trinity I've pretty much summed it up. We agreed That I moved out so we can have a better handle on things. The time wasn't right for us to live together.

He's opting to keep his options open and he is and told me and if this doesn't work out with the other person and realizes that I have been the one and he calls me and I'm not available than he has to live with that but I can't force him to be with me.

I love him but I need to let him go.

You definitely need to let his ass go if he is telling you he wants to keep his options open and if "things" don't work out with this girl he will call you. That's totally unacceptable in my book!!

 

[luv2workout]

Dump him and move on!!!!!

I know its easier said than done - but YOU CAN DO IT!!!

 

[nautica]

Was looking for some T3 advise on the womens board and saw this post.

Thought I would give my 2 cents.

If your man is jacked up on test it is extremely hard for him to be faithful. EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY HARD IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Not only for the actual act of sex but the conquering there of.

Not only is it hard for him but I truly believe that if he is on test than more girls will want and approach him. Not because of looks but just simple because he is on the juice and his pharmones and hormones are both going crazy.

My advise is: Go to him. Let him know you understand, but do not approve of him talking with another person. Now it is your turn to spice things up a little. Or even alot while he is on the juice. I don't know what your man wants but ask him. Maybe, if you go out together - let him flirt a little. Give him some leway but set the rules. Just make sure he is completely satisfied in all aspect.

I know it sounds like I am siding with the man because I am a man but I am not. And I am not saying what he did was right. But in order to make a relationship work (if it is worth working) then each person needs to give a little. If you start than I can assure you he will follow. When a man is on juice he gets a little crazy so let him be crazy with you. SPICE IT UP and maybe even do some things that you never would have thought of doing in the past.

If he says he loves you - he does, remember that and everything else will work out.

Good luck. From a man who has been on test before.

 

[luv2workout]

CHERRY PIE

luv the name btw!! I luv that old song -- not to mention -- my hubby dated "cherry pie chick" before we got together..haha!!

 

[nautica]

I don't know what he should give I am not a female and will never say that I know exactly what they want.

But he should do the same she does. ASK, what she wants, what she needs out of the relationship. If a man is satisfied with a relationship than he will give the girl more than she could ever ask for. If he can or will not. Then he is a fuck and should be taken out to the trash.

Relationships should be 50/50. But someone has got to be the first to initiate a change when one needs to be made. And it sounds like in this situation, if she wants it to work she needs to be the one to initiate. (Actually, the boyfriend does, but guys are usually more stubborn and will tell the girl to fuck off before he makes the first move. and then eventually he will come crawling back - but this only hurts the longevity of the relationship and does not solve anything.

 

[nautica]

bump, for more help for CherryPie

 

[wilson6]

"If men think with their dicks, and we all know that to be very common, then women think all to often with their hearts. Both are not a good at making decisions."

Well said Lobo.

W6

 

[BigEasy]

Good Stuff Here!

I don't know that my $0.02 will add anything to the perspectives already expressed, but here goes a typical BE essay post....sorry.

I have been with the same lady for 22 years now, and am definantly out of the dating scene. However, if we decided to 'shop around' every time we got stressed or 'Lost That Lovin' Feeling,' I'm sure we would not have made it past the first three years. After awhile, the initial 'FEELING' of love wore off, but there was something deeper to replace it. Thank God, because otherwise our relationship would have become a prison of dread instead of something to enjoy. This seems to be fairly common among long-time relationships. Just ask your friends that have been married for awhile if their love has not changed and deepened. For us, that initial 'feeling' of being 'in-love' has faded into more of a background 'glow.' That's not bad, it's just different.


Question: Are you in love with the feeling of 'Being In Love' and 'Belonging?' Or are you really in-love with HIM? (I remember well the 'In-Love' emotion, and not wanting to part with it. I was really scared when it started to change and was confused as to whether I was falling OUT of love!)

Why would a lady like you settle with being the second-string fallback to this 'other' girl. After all, you are obviously an intelligent and goal oriented person working to improve, otherwise you wouln't be here. Is it your goal to become SECOND?

Are you satisfied with the fallback position with a guy that seems to be having trouble deciding what his goal in live is?

Are you okay being in the position of knowing that he might change his mind again about with whom he wishes to partner with for the rest of his life?

His action make me wonder just how committed he is to you?

 

[nautica]

BigEasy I am with you 100 percent, but I still say you have to spice it up a little and that back ground glow can stay exciting.

And, I have been with the same girl since 1989. Which by the way, I was in kindergarden with.

 

[18echo]

so i feel kind of funny posting here, but hope that maybe i can help. as a guy, that is.

i don't buy the whole thing about you waiting to see what goes down after the show. if the other girl is "nothing" or "not what you think" then why did he bring it up in the first place.

"no, see it's just the show, honey. oh, by the way, i'm talking to someone else but that has nothing to do with anything. i just thought i'd bring it up. i don't know about being with you long term, but i'll figure it out. meanwhile, i'll just be talking to (insert other girl here) until i do."



cherry pie, how old are you? not an insulting question. just a straight forward one. i don't mean anything by it. it's just that, typically (it seems) that younger women will have a higher tolerance for crap like that than others who have been through the crap before and recognize the possible sign to take the initiative and leave him wondering if HE'S screwing up by pulling this shit.

i love women, and love to treat them right. am i saint? (i say this in general terms) no. i'm presently married, and have been for 3 years this week to a remarkable women. she has issues, but i think it's her "female-ness". and before her there were others, with varying dgrees of relationships, or even just "friends with benefits". either way, one thing i've always done was be straight with them. it's just something that y'all deserve. even if one of my friends is fucking with a girl, i'll give him my 2 cents, whether he wants it or not. unless she's one of the infrequent examples of girls who just aren't worth the treatment. (yes, those do come along).

i mean, boy, do y'all drive us nuts, but we take it because we love y'all. or, at least, i do.

sorry about the drifting, there.

if you really think that you can talk through this, try to do just that. pick a time when you think you can maintain your emotions, but at the same time, make sure he can control his. after all, you're going to address something that he is obviously the cause of. see if you can bring to light what the other girl has to do with all this. tell him that, regardless of what you hear, this is only to bring out the whole truth, and figure out what needs to happen from there. for pete's sake, dont lose your cool. when something like this is going on, trust me, he knows it's his doing, and could be majorly on the defensive about it. so tread lightly. if only to get the info you need. then maybe you can make a decision on your own.

although i advocate being straight forward, there are often times where you need to "carefully" approach a delicate situation.
if that's not you're forte', then just straight up tell him to quit the shit and figure out what the hell he's doing. you know, put up or shut up. i mean, what, is he gonna run to talk to someone else every time a show gives him a hard time? whatever.

however, you don't come across as that type of girl. if you were, you probably wouldn't be asking for help from others. you sound like you really would like this to work. so i hope it does. just please string yourself along too badly.

wow, that was a long rant. sorry.

 

[CherryPie]

Was looking for some T3 advise on the womens board and saw this post.

Thought I would give my 2 cents.

If your man is jacked up on test it is extremely hard for him to be faithful. EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY HARD IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Not only for the actual act of sex but the conquering there of.

Not only is it hard for him but I truly believe that if he is on test than more girls will want and approach him. Not because of looks but just simple because he is on the juice and his pharmones and hormones are both going crazy.

My advise is: Go to him. Let him know you understand, but do not approve of him talking with another person. Now it is your turn to spice things up a little. Or even alot while he is on the juice. I don't know what your man wants but ask him. Maybe, if you go out together - let him flirt a little. Give him some leway but set the rules. Just make sure he is completely satisfied in all aspect.

I know it sounds like I am siding with the man because I am a man but I am not. And I am not saying what he did was right. But in order to make a relationship work (if it is worth working) then each person needs to give a little. If you start than I can assure you he will follow. When a man is on juice he gets a little crazy so let him be crazy with you. SPICE IT UP and maybe even do some things that you never would have thought of doing in the past.

If he says he loves you - he does, remember that and everything else will work out.

Good luck. From a man who has been on test before.

No he's not on test, he's on deca and winny. He just started to speak to this girl that he met at our gym and she knows us and I just found them pulling up together at his place last night!

 

[CherryPie]

Ok thank you everyone on helping me through this. Let me answer some of your questions.

I have caught him a few lies. Pretty much caught him with the girl driving up to his apartment. He was driving her car. Met her at the gym, she knows us. When I moved out I asked him if he wanted to leave our options open and he does. We've discussed us numerous times. At the time he didn't want to beak up but their would be days we'd be great and the next we'd argue, he can't handle that nor can I. I tried to stick by him amd told him what I wanted but I cannot force someone to be with me. I have ?'d him on ending ours and going into another and he says it's nothing, but it may or may not evolve. Which would happen with both of us eventually. He aked me if down the line our paths crossed and we weren't with anyone, he's knows he'll call me in the future, would I give him a second chance? I told him I cannpt answer that at the moment. I've known people who have been together, break up to date other people and end up together in the future and maybe that will happen and maybe it won't. No one can tell but at this time He has to do what he has to with whomever and I need to perk up and in time I'll find someone.
I'm 30 and the girl he met is 30 and he is 25. But I've met a lot of mature 25yr olds so don't go bash him about that.

All in all, I thank you all for your support and I will keep everyone posted!!!

 

[nautica]

Okay, forget every thing I said.

Dude is just trying to get laid and keep you on the line. It is time to dump him and move on.

Sorry, but I don't think you need to waste you time with him. I know the numbers are against you, since there are 2 girls to every 1 guy, but you will find someone when you least expect it.

To bad I am taken, because I love Chery pie.

Good luck.

 

[wyst]

My 2 cents is that it's up to him to deal with his problems, not you. I'd leave him, at least until he makes up his mind.

Wyst

 

[Aileen]

Cherry....I can understand how hard and difficult things are for you right now. I feel that you need to try to not blind yourself as to what's going on...........at first you "thought" that he was being a man about things and appreciated that he came forth to tell you about the so called other girl that "supposedly" nothing was going on with. I hope this blind fold no longer exists now that you saw for your own eyes him driving the other girls car up to his appt.....................and of course his asking you if later down the road you'll be willing to take him back....... for more practical reasons a lot of guys never want to have an "official" good-bye, it allows him to change his mind.....or worse, WEASEL his way back into your life when he get's lonely or things don't work out with the so called "other"....I think most guys know that as long as they don't let to much time pass, all the have to do (for most) is to apoligize and state the made a terrible mistake and swear it will never happen again(yeah right).......it may be very difficult I'm sure and heart wrenching but I would take the hint, and spare my DIGNITY....Let him go!

let us know how things develope, and be strong were all here for you

 

[Kaizen]

Hey Cherry,

I think I have to agree with folks here who say kick him to the curb.

IF things don't go his way with this girl or 100 others he'll call you cause you're the one... UH, I think not.

You have worked too hard on you and being where you are to take up this burden and carry his sorry ass... Oooooh...I'm too stressed ...Oooooh I'm hungry and carb depleted ... It makes this too hard to be with you.... But when I'm feeling better and after I'm done with gym floozy and gotten my rocks and I'm lonely cause she left me for the guy who won the local NPC show I'll call you....Sorry have some cheese with that whine boy and take your rug-burn kneed slam board with you!!!

Sorry to rant but this pushes some real close to home buttons...Don't even give him the time of day... You deserve someone who has the discipline not only of body but of heart and mind...It sounds like he's working the one to his benefit and to be honest there's nothing less attractive than a beautiful body with an ugly soul...... I believe it was spat who said it takes 14 days and some great indulgence and i would whole heartedly agree!!

Girl your 30 not dead..

don't settle for being regarded as second best to anything!!

 

[Bikini Mod]

don't settle for being regarded as second best to anything!!

Print out this quote, highlight it in yellow, and FUCKING TAPE IT TO THE FRIDGE, THE REAR VIEW MIRROR IN YOUR CAR, THE BATHROOM MIRROR AND ANYPLACE ELSE THAT YOU MAY HAPPEN TO GLANCE SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES PER DAY!!!

When you actually believe it and begin to act that way..... you can take down all the little reminders!

Took me thirteen years, one divorce, one brain fart and two relationships to realize this......

If I can figure it out - ANY ONE CAN! tee-hee

 

[BigEasy]

Print out this quote, highlight it in yellow, and FUCKING TAPE IT TO THE FRIDGE, THE REAR VIEW MIRROR IN YOUR CAR, THE BATHROOM MIRROR AND ANYPLACE ELSE THAT YOU MAY HAPPEN TO GLANCE SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES PER DAY!!!

When you actually believe it and begin to act that way..... you can take down all the little reminders!

Took me thirteen years, one divorce, one brain fart and two relationships to realize this......

If I can figure it out - ANY ONE CAN! tee-hee

Exactly BMom, exactly! That is what I was trying to say. You are FIRST and worth 100% of everything to yourself, and your kids if you have them! Period, thats it, there isn't anything else.

 

[Virtual Acid]

Right...Men ugh!

Okay girl, i understand your problem. It's happened to me before like a zillion and 10 times. So here's what i think...
Usually when a guy acts up and he's a lil stressed out means something more than talking went on, Now like dont jump to conclusions and think im telling you he's cheating, because he's probly not... but thats doesnt mean he hasent thought about it. And hes acting like this because he's deciding weather or not to stop thinking and act or stay with you. He's says he loves you but hey ... Love is a way strong word and its not to be messed with. and the fact that you moved out isnt sucha good thing, i know people need thier space but if you let the space grow to much its extreamly hard to come back together. K ima shup the hell up now. but good luck

 

[CherryPie]

Well news update!
He thinks I'm seeing someone and it's driving him wild, ont he other hand he's still friends with her, but last night it was her B-day and they went to Burger King with her kid! He comes over, not telling me, tells me that when he was sitting there all he can think about is me and couldn't stand the thought of someone being here, blah,blah,blah. This guy is a real good shit talker. He's leaving for florida on tuesday, so I have to go and take care of my cat at his place. (I can't have cats) I said why don't you have her take care of them and he was like, it's not like that, I wouldn't ask that of her but she can offer to pick him up saturday @ the airport. Anyways, she just got out of a relationship and according to him they both agreed if this was to evolve than so be it, if not, they have a good friendship. I told him he'll make a real good daddy figure (no offense to woman who has kids/single) He always swore he'd never date a girl w/a child.

Anyways, he'll be gone for 5 days.

 

[nautica]

Isn't funny how us men do not give a shit about our girls until we think they are with someone else or think someone else wants them.

He just wants to come back piss on your front door and when he is sure all of the other dogs are leaving you alone. Well it is back to take care of another dog in heat.

Don't you know that this is how the male species ensures the survival of their species.

Well anyway, it does sound like you are seeing how he is now. Doesn't it feel good to make him want you. I think it is time to move on now. Then you can see how bad he really wants you.

Good luck.

 

[Kaizen]

Girl if he pees any more on your leg your gonna need to put holes in your sneakers to drain it off...

Isn't he just the spoiled mama's boy... Well I don't want you but no one else can have you and I've got her and well that's okay cause your alone... and then he's tellin her he's right there with her by being there with her and her kid and sharing special and intimate time with them birthdays are liek holidays..... he 's a selfish ba$tard. kids do not do shades of gray so he's playing with real emotions here and if she's letting him around her little one it means shes seeing and hearing more there than he's sharing with you ...most mom's I know don't just bring somone randomly into there kids life...they get too attached too fast... If he's doing that then it just underscores that he is in all this for himself...

girl get the cats or give up the cats but get rid of any connection to this loser... Find a great guy and move on...this dirt ball needs gelding and his mother needs slapping for raising a son that would treat a woman that way!!!

 

[Bikini Mod]

...this dirt ball needs gelding and his mother needs slapping for raising a son that would treat a woman that way!!!

Gurl - you took the words right outta my mouth!

I ESPECIALLY agree about the part where this boys mother needs slapping!

And for the record... as a single mother I even carefully choose which one of my FRIENDS my children meet, let alone a "boyfriend" or "date". The man who I do finally introduce them to will be in it for the loooooong haul. Any mother who would do different, IMHO, doesn't place a high enough value on the emotional well-being of her children.