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boyfriend advice...

W6, you are the man!! I totally agree with you.

Rough times are just a part of the recipe in a relationship. If every time HE or your relationship goes through a tough time he will resort to another girl. What kind of a commitment is that?

I realize that we become very short and aggressive when dieting its just a "side effect" if you will of the dieting process BUT to resort to "talk" to another person is a whole other issue. You can always talk to other people, females and males if all you want is someone's opinion or another perspective. This sounds like he's trying to get to know her before he makes his final decision of who he wants to stay with.

I for one, would cut him loose. I now this sounds easier said than done. But,we women are just tooooooooo tolerant. Realtionships are a testing of boundaries to see which ones can be crossed, just like kids test their parents. You have to put your foot down.

I know this sounds mean, and it sound like I'm a BITCH, but you have to have some pride and confidence in yourself. I'm older than most you girls here and believe me if you put up with it once you will have to put up with it again and again.

Many yeas ago I was in a physically abusive relationship the first time he hit me, after 8 years of marriage, he said he just lost control, and cried and swore he would never do it again. So against my better judgement I stayed, needless to stay that after that it would happen again and again not all the time but enough until I finally left him 1 year and 2 months later. Had I not tolerated that the FIRST time it would have never happened again. That's just like the men who cheat. If you forgive it once you'll have to forgive it over and over because they know there is NO consequence for the lack of control or misbehavior, SO what's to stop them from doing it again. NOTHING

I know I'm taking this topic to another level but you have to have perspective, you have to be able to see the signs and see ahead of what you are setting yourself UP for.

Why would you even consent to moving out? What kind of tough times are we talking about to justify you moving out? You say you've been having problems for 3 weeks and he NOW confesses that he's been talking to a girl for 1 week. Sounds very convenient he confesses to you after you had already moved out. So had you NOT moved out when was he planning to tell you that he was talking to another girl while you were still living with him? OR would he have even told you? Something else is going ON that you haven't really mentioned.

Just my .02 worth.
 
No trinity I've pretty much summed it up. We agreed That I moved out so we can have a better handle on things. The time wasn't right for us to live together.

He's opting to keep his options open and he is and told me and if this doesn't work out with the other person and realizes that I have been the one and he calls me and I'm not available than he has to live with that but I can't force him to be with me.

I love him but I need to let him go.
 
I am a real bitch when dieting but cmon.....that is something you should NOT accept or let happen..this situation will turn into a constatn cycle of excuses and pathetic endings. Better to let it go now, then get yourself further involved and waste anymore of your time. IF someone claims to LOVE you they would not be talking to someone else or treating you the way he is treating you now. That my friend is NOT love...hmmm maybe that is why I am never in love...hehe. No but seriously you are letting him play a game with you and your going to end up with a serious broken heart while he is fuckin some gal he met last week. Not worth your time or your emotions...why stress??? He will feed you wonderful lines and tell you he just needs time and its not you but its him...we have all heard em before. Be realistic and move on.
 
My personal opinion is that he is trying things out with this other girl and wants to keep you on stand by. he is getting to know her and if things work out, then he'll be with her and if things don't turn out as he expects, then you'll be there....waiting. (Not that you will, but I think that's his plan).

Any female is TOO GOOD for that. If he is willing to let you go for a long enough period for someone else to scoop you up, then he's not concerned.

I met my boyfriend and we moved in shortly after seeing each other and there is no way in hell either one of us would ever move out. We love each other and don't want to be apart. If this guy loves you, there is no reason you guys shouldn't have continued to live together.....

UNLESS - he wanted the freedom of having his own place for "other" reasons. If so, that's BS and you need to find someone that will appreciate you.

...........that's my opinion.
 
Trinity13 said:

Many yeas ago I was in a physically abusive relationship the first time he hit me, after 8 years of marriage, he said he just lost control, and cried and swore he would never do it again. So against my better judgement I stayed, needless to stay that after that it would happen again and again not all the time but enough until I finally left him 1 year and 2 months later. Had I not tolerated that the FIRST time it would have never happened again. That's just like the men who cheat. If you forgive it once you'll have to forgive it over and over because they know there is NO consequence for the lack of control or misbehavior, SO what's to stop them from doing it again. NOTHING

My ex only hit me ONCE in thirteen years.... when my head hit the ground - WE WERE OVER - PERIOD.

Having read what you just typed, reaffirms that I did the right thing by throwing his sorry ass out.

THANK YOU.

(A little off topic, but I wanted to let you know.) :)
 
CherryPie said:
No trinity I've pretty much summed it up. We agreed That I moved out so we can have a better handle on things. The time wasn't right for us to live together.

He's opting to keep his options open and he is and told me and if this doesn't work out with the other person and realizes that I have been the one and he calls me and I'm not available than he has to live with that but I can't force him to be with me.

I love him but I need to let him go.
You definitely need to let his ass go if he is telling you he wants to keep his options open and if "things" don't work out with this girl he will call you. That's totally unacceptable in my book!!
 
Was looking for some T3 advise on the womens board and saw this post.

Thought I would give my 2 cents.

If your man is jacked up on test it is extremely hard for him to be faithful. EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY HARD IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Not only for the actual act of sex but the conquering there of.

Not only is it hard for him but I truly believe that if he is on test than more girls will want and approach him. Not because of looks but just simple because he is on the juice and his pharmones and hormones are both going crazy.

My advise is: Go to him. Let him know you understand, but do not approve of him talking with another person. Now it is your turn to spice things up a little. Or even alot while he is on the juice. I don't know what your man wants but ask him. Maybe, if you go out together - let him flirt a little. Give him some leway but set the rules. Just make sure he is completely satisfied in all aspect.

I know it sounds like I am siding with the man because I am a man but I am not. And I am not saying what he did was right. But in order to make a relationship work (if it is worth working) then each person needs to give a little. If you start than I can assure you he will follow. When a man is on juice he gets a little crazy so let him be crazy with you. SPICE IT UP and maybe even do some things that you never would have thought of doing in the past.

If he says he loves you - he does, remember that and everything else will work out.

Good luck. From a man who has been on test before.
 
CHERRY PIE

luv the name btw!! I luv that old song -- not to mention -- my hubby dated "cherry pie chick" before we got together..haha!!
 
I don't know what he should give I am not a female and will never say that I know exactly what they want.

But he should do the same she does. ASK, what she wants, what she needs out of the relationship. If a man is satisfied with a relationship than he will give the girl more than she could ever ask for. If he can or will not. Then he is a fuck and should be taken out to the trash.

Relationships should be 50/50. But someone has got to be the first to initiate a change when one needs to be made. And it sounds like in this situation, if she wants it to work she needs to be the one to initiate. (Actually, the boyfriend does, but guys are usually more stubborn and will tell the girl to fuck off before he makes the first move. and then eventually he will come crawling back - but this only hurts the longevity of the relationship and does not solve anything.
 
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