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Bikinimom-best lay on ef

binö

binö

Rob of Redford
Platinum
yes i said it.
all the variables are there to make for an excellent sexy time.
the crazy factor, the good body factor, the crude mouth factor.
swirl all together in a sexual cauldron and you'd have a one hell of a good tag.
good day
 
idk. there'd be a whole lot of talking going on. talking you'd have to suffer thru, that could possibly make it a deal breaker....a man can only fake interest for so long....
 
HumanTarget said:
idk. there'd be a whole lot of talking going on. talking you'd have to suffer thru, that could possibly make it a deal breaker....a man can only fake interest for so long....
Click to expand...
beer or liquor helps numb the ears
 
Moltke said:
yes i said it.
all the variables are there to make for an excellent sexy time.
the crazy factor, the good body factor, the crude mouth factor.
swirl all together in a sexual cauldron and you'd have a one hell of a good tag.
good day
Click to expand...
Disagree because she doesn't take it in the pooper. She does give good hug though.
 
Dial_tone said:
Disagree because she doesn't take it in the pooper. She does give good hug though.
Click to expand...
meh, i don't need backdoor entrance to have a good time
 
LOL@this ridiculous thread. :lmao:

There is only ONE MAN who posts on EF that could confirm what I am like in the sack and I'll leave it up to him.

... and Lumberg AINT one of them. :)

The only other man who had any sort of *knowing* me, that means, pics, kiss, whathaveyou hasn't posted on here in a looooooooooong ass time.

Interestingly enough they are BOTH Army Rangers who saw combat situations.
 
HumanTarget said:
idk. there'd be a whole lot of talking going on. talking you'd have to suffer thru, that could possibly make it a deal breaker....a man can only fake interest for so long....
Click to expand...

Dude, that shit goes wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy the other way around. :heart: God, there was a coupla few flat out drop dead gorgeous men who absolutely ruined what could have been some pretty good sex, that is... until they opened their mouths and spoke. :worried: Talk about making a girl dry up right quick!
 
Moltke said:
beer or liquor helps numb the ears
Click to expand...

I dunno bout you but I like to do m'fuckin stone cold sober in broad daylight.

If everyone of my senses is not being titillated then I may as well stay my self home with Bob; way less trouble... way better sechs...
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Dude, that shit goes wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy the other way around. :heart: God, there was a coupla few flat out drop dead gorgeous men who absolutely ruined what could have been some pretty good sex, that is... until they opened their mouths and spoke. :worried: Talk about making a girl dry up right quick!
Click to expand...
so you don't take it in the cannister?
 
HumanTarget said:
so you don't take it in the cannister?
Click to expand...

I am still befuddled as to why a man would WANT to stick his winky into the pooper when there is a perfectly wet, willing, sweet tasting/looking/smelling hooha BEGGING for his touch...

I just don't get it.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Interestingly enough they are BOTH Army Rangers who saw combat situations.
Click to expand...


LOL, damn BM, you might as well just say the names already! Then again, I guess anyone who can figure it out from that most likely already knows...
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I am still befuddled as to why a man would WANT to stick his winky into the pooper when there is a perfectly wet, willing, sweet tasting/looking/smelling hooha BEGGING for his touch...

I just don't get it.
Click to expand...
if there's a hole, i'm gonna fill it....
 
Forge said:
LOL, damn BM, you might as well just say the names already! Then again, I guess anyone who can figure it out from that most likely already knows...
Click to expand...

LOL

As most already know: one was The Ranger (who no longer posts here and last I heard was happily married to a nice lady) and the other, of course, is my pretend reallife deadsexy lawn gnome of a husband: Grumpy Old Man.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I am still befuddled as to why a man would WANT to stick his winky into the pooper when there is a perfectly wet, willing, sweet tasting/looking/smelling hooha BEGGING for his touch...

I just don't get it.
Click to expand...

I am right there with you on this one. :worried:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I am still befuddled as to why a man would WANT to stick his winky into the pooper when there is a perfectly wet, willing, sweet tasting/looking/smelling hooha BEGGING for his touch...

I just don't get it.
Click to expand...
because youse anoose is tighter than the blownt out bagina....
 
HumanTarget said:
because youse anoose is tighter than the blownt out bagina....
Click to expand...

See now you speak as if you know... Which clearly you do not. :qt:

My hoohah is tighter than IP's was... poor thing. If she only knew. :lmao:
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I am still befuddled as to why a man would WANT to stick his winky into the pooper when there is a perfectly wet, willing, sweet tasting/looking/smelling hooha BEGGING for his touch...

I just don't get it.
Click to expand...


Well, for myself anyway, I enjoy it mostly because most women really enjoy it. I've only been able (read allowed) to do it with a few women, but they all absolutely loved it. They would usually get very intense orgasms from a good anal session. Not to mention the fact that it opens up a whole world of new options, especially when you bring toys into the fray. This is where most women really lose their mind and experience completely new levels of pleasure.

Truth be told, I'd rather fuck a pussy then an asshole anyday, it just feels better for me in the front door; but it's what anal sex does for the woman that fucking turns me on like Christmas tree in Times Square on December 25th. And honestly, part of it for me is the mental aspect of it, anal sex is a bit more dominating than regular sex. Alot of women greatly enjoy that too.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
See now you speak as if you know... Which clearly you do not. :qt:

My hoohah is tighter than IP's was... poor thing. If she only knew. :lmao:
Click to expand...
you had tree kids. that means you could easily put a nerf football in there....
 
BIKINIMOM said:
LOL@this ridiculous thread. :lmao:

There is only ONE MAN who posts on EF that could confirm what I am like in the sack and I'll leave it up to him.

... and Lumberg AINT one of them. :)

The only other man who had any sort of *knowing* me, that means, pics, kiss, whathaveyou hasn't posted on here in a looooooooooong ass time.

Interestingly enough they are BOTH Army Rangers who saw combat situations.
Click to expand...


The only one that knows me was a Ranger as well - but he does not have a profile on here, at least I hope he doesn't otherwise he has some explaining to do with BM. LOL.
 
Forge said:
Well, for myself anyway, I enjoy it mostly because most women really enjoy it. I've only been able (read allowed) to do it with a few women, but they all absolutely loved it. They would usually get very intense orgasms from a good anal session. Not to mention the fact that it opens up a whole world of new options, especially when you bring toys into the fray. This is where most women really lose their mind and experience completely new levels of pleasure.

Truth be told, I'd rather fuck a pussy then an asshole anyday, it just feels better for me in the front door; but it's what anal sex does for the woman that fucking turns me on like Christmas tree in Times Square on December 25th. And honestly, part of it for me is the mental aspect of it, anal sex is a bit more dominating than regular sex. Alot of women greatly enjoy that too.
Click to expand...

I have heard that from both men AND women, but for me... it don't have that affect. I can and do orgasm from my husband kissing me on the lips, breasts... the whole anal thing just plain hurts.

I don't swing.

I don't cheat.

I am not bisexual.

I don't like anal.

I guess I am waaaaaaaaaay vanilla afterall. :worried:







:lmao:
 
HumanTarget said:
you had tree kids. that means you could easily put a nerf football in there....
Click to expand...

Correction - I had FOUR kids. :qt:
















And I had a cystoceal repair (I think I spelled it correctly) which means my Hoohah is near virginal, not to mention that I am EXTREMELY sensitive to all types of stimulation - read: even a man that is less than average can easily hurt me from certain angles. How many times have ya'll read me post that?
 
Mickey36 said:
The only one that knows me was a Ranger as well - but he does not have a profile on here, at least I hope he doesn't otherwise he has some explaining to do with BM. LOL.
Click to expand...

Naaaaaaahhhhh

LOL this guy from the past was from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Hush up you afore I splash YOU in the jaw... Oh wait a minute. You might like that... :dodgy:




Nevermind then.... carry on ya goofs! :goof:
Click to expand...
i'm not :rainbow: but I'd splash you in the jaw
 
here's the suppliments i would need to optimize the BM sexy time experience:

duct-tape%5B3%5D.jpg


2099.jpg


whiskey_bottles.jpg
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Your *little joke* implies consent on my part.... does it not? :qt:
Click to expand...

recheck my last post i fixed the duct tape link :)
consent makes it too easy, i prefer a challenging "NO!"
 
BIKINIMOM said:
LOL

As most already know: one was The Ranger (who no longer posts here and last I heard was happily married to a nice lady) and the other, of course, is my pretend reallife deadsexy lawn gnome of a husband: Grumpy Old Man.
Click to expand...


holy shit, the ranger got to ole BM?? when was this? 00-02??
 
redsamurai said:
holy shit, the ranger got to ole BM?? when was this? 00-02??
Click to expand...

Yes, he was THE ONLY ONE on EF .... EVUH... Pretty ironic wouldn't you say, considering the length of time I have been on EF and all the smacktalked about me... hehehehee

That was in interesting time in my life. I learned A LOT of stuff about the internet, myself and people that I don't really think I wanted to know...

I brought my husband (Grumpy Old Man) here so he doesn't REALLY *count* like that.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Yes, he was THE ONLY ONE on EF .... EVUH... Pretty ironic wouldn't you say, considering the length of time I have been on EF and all the smacktalked about me... hehehehee

That was in interesting time in my life. I learned A LOT of stuff about the internet, myself and people that I don't really think I wanted to know...

I brought my husband (Grumpy Old Man) here so he doesn't REALLY *count* like that.
Click to expand...
what about JA? sounds like he could've hit it but he fumbled big time
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Yes, he was THE ONLY ONE on EF .... EVUH... Pretty ironic wouldn't you say, considering the length of time I have been on EF and all the smacktalked about me... hehehehee

That was in interesting time in my life. I learned A LOT of stuff about the internet, myself and people that I don't really think I wanted to know...

I brought my husband (Grumpy Old Man) here so he doesn't REALLY *count* like that.
Click to expand...


wasn't ranger in cali? weren't you on the east coast somewhere?
 
Moltke said:
what about JA? sounds like he could've hit it but he fumbled big time
Click to expand...

Are you fucking kidding me?

Jersey Art had about as much chance of getting into my pants as (no offense to you darlin, not a personal attack but we are NOT a match in any way shape or form and I know that goes BOTH ways)... as you did.

There was NEVER any fucking possibility of that guy coming anywhere NEAR ME in any way, shape or form other than FRIEND... and not the kind that fuck either. Come on, with all the HOT, SMART, KIND-HEARTED men of substance on elite and you think THAT LOSER had a shot?

Dood.... THAT is insulting to the Nth degree.

I can tell you 100% there are NO MEN on elite that EVER had a shot and it wasn't because there weren't many many wonderful and sexy and sweet men, because there are GOBS... but I have VERY strict rules (obviously) of not shitting where I eat.

The one time I broke it (and it was so happenstance) I paid dearly... to THIS DAY I am flamed all over the entire fucking net because of it... You have NO CLUE how detrimental all that was and still is and I STILL do not wish him ill. (and no, I ain't talkin bout JerseyFart - PUH-LEASE)
 
redsamurai said:
wasn't ranger in cali? weren't you on the east coast somewhere?
Click to expand...

Yes I was in Jersey and he wasn't. That is all I will say because it isn't honorable to disrespect a man's privacy, regardless of how little honor he exhibited in respect to me.

That's all I will say publicly.
 
lol it's so easy to get a rise outta you :)
just busting chops

BIKINIMOM said:
Are you fucking kidding me?

Jersey Art had about as much chance of getting into my pants as (no offense to you darlin, not a personal attack but we are NOT a match in any way shape or form and I know that goes BOTH ways)... as you did.

There was NEVER any fucking possibility of that guy coming anywhere NEAR ME in any way, shape or form other than FRIEND... and not the kind that fuck either. Come on, with all the HOT, SMART, KIND-HEARTED men of substance on elite and you think THAT LOSER had a shot?

Dood.... THAT is insulting to the Nth degree.

I can tell you 100% there are NO MEN on elite that EVER had a shot and it wasn't because there weren't many many wonderful and sexy and sweet men, because there are GOBS... but I have VERY strict rules (obviously) of not shitting where I eat.

The one time I broke it (and it was so happenstance) I paid dearly... to THIS DAY I am flamed all over the entire fucking net because of it... You have NO CLUE how detrimental all that was and still is and I STILL do not wish him ill. (and no, I ain't talkin bout JerseyFart - PUH-LEASE)
Click to expand...
 
lol @ JA fumbling

dude took his e-game to an unprecedented level.
 
Lestat said:
lol @ JA fumbling

dude took his e-game to an unprecedented level.
Click to expand...

The guy certainly screwed over and lied to more than just a few EF women...

He had to be one of elite's most consumate douchebags.
 
BIKINIMOM said:
Eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww no.

What is with you guys and talkin bout nastyskankho sex as if that is something that is TRULY desirable.
Click to expand...


You would be surprised at what some women find desirable... :p
 
redsamurai said:
so grumps..........were you aware that BM own's a strap on?? :Popcorn:
Click to expand...

Well.... Since she never picks up anything, moves anything, puts anything away. I think I woulda found that bad boy by now... Besides the trailer only has one drowwwwer. So the only thing in there right now is some lube and my glass eye, oh and my balls she keeps in a bowling bag. (the bottom fell out a while back so it's a BIG drowwwwwer.)

So as to answer your question, Yeah I hit it, and where and how long is private, But she ain't got no after market extended flexible fixed rotation and angle penetration device. (unless it's in the car port under the camper shell.)

Course it would have to be behind the bricks holdin the front end up..... Nope it ain't there, I just swished all the rats outa the wire loom hangin under the oil pan I was gonna put back on the hoopdie later this year.

:santa:
 
Last edited:
Grumpy Old Man said:
Well.... Since she never picks up anything, moves anything, puts anything away. I think I woulda found that bad boy by now... Besides the trailer only has one drowwwwer. So the only thing in there right now is some lube and my glass eye, oh and my balls she keeps in a bowling bag. (the bottom fell out a while back so it's a BIG drowwwwwer.)

So as to answer your question, Yeah I hit it, and where and how long is private, But she ain't got no after market extended flexible fixed rotation and angle penetration device. (unless it's in the car port under the camper shell.)

Course it would have to be behind the bricks holdin the front end up..... Nope it ain't there, I just swished all the rats outa the wire loom hangin under the oil pan I was gonna put back on the hoopdie later this year.

:santa:
Click to expand...

I'll bring my tractor and shredder, we'll mow around those old car bodies in the front yard and that big pile of used lumber too. I have some Roundup so the Johnson grass doesn't grow up so soon. Let me know when I can come on over...
Btw, you may have to chain the dogs, last time they treed me up on the top of my truck!
 
BIKINIMOM said:
I am still befuddled as to why a man would WANT to stick his winky into the pooper when there is a perfectly wet, willing, sweet tasting/looking/smelling hooha BEGGING for his touch...

I just don't get it.
Click to expand...

I agree 100%.

Makes no sense to me.

Unless it's grudge sex. LOL
 
BigRupe said:
I agree 100%.

Makes no sense to me.

Unless it's grudge sex. LOL
Click to expand...

we don't have grudge sex just great sex.

And I will never tell, cause all (some) these peeps spend way too much time with their eyes closed with my wife... Bad part is when they open their eyes their sock is in their hand and wet again....

:santa:
 
Grumpy Old Man said:
we don't have grudge sex just great sex.

And I will never tell, cause all (some) these peeps spend way too much time with their eyes closed with my wife... Bad part is when they open their eyes their sock is in their hand and wet again....

:santa:
Click to expand...

your a crazy fucker! LOL





and it's NOT a sock..... it's a little hand towel! :-)
 
txbondsman said:
your a crazy fucker! LOL





and it's NOT a sock..... it's a little hand towel! :-)
Click to expand...

Yup. I be krazy!

Well I just tested her out again just to see if all I have heard about her is still true. I had a couple fellows send me messages giving me instructions.. I wonder how they got so good when they have only had sex with one person. Themself...

Was that you who took the blue wash cloth from the back bathroom? It just looked like a hand towel in the damn dark!
:heart:

:santa:
 
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