Anybody here that doesn't care about having kids?

[alien amp pharm]

I've never really thought about this one way or the other. If my (future) wife wants kids fine, if not then fine.

This girl I'm kinda seeing now mentioned that she doesn't want to have kids. This got me thinking. I may have to agree with her because:

1. I enjoy peace and quiet.
2. I'm not responsible, nor care enough to raise a kid(s).
3. Think of the money saved.
4. Do whatever, whenever (like long trips) without having to worry about a babysitter.
5. Have the extra money to take those long trips from lack of kid expenses.
6. Most marriages end in divorce....if mine does I won't have the kid to worry about messing up, child support, custody, etc.
7. Do I really want to bring another person into this sick, painfull, misery called 'life' that gets worse every day?

Let's hear some of ya'lls thoughts. Especially you people over 30 without kids.

 

[*MissFit*]

I won't decide till i find my mate.. i can't make that decision on my own

 

[theoak01]

I want kids but not until Im in my mid 30's.that way I can just up and go on vacations etc without the worry of kids to look after

 

[Smurfy]

I think thats a perfectly acceptable point of view, especially considering that youre still young. But you may/will find your attitude about it changing as you get older. Or not. Either way, its good that you have these things on your mind. Too many people who reproduce, go into it blindly and they really arent ready. And that has a negative impact on the chlidren.

 

[alien amp pharm]

I won't decide till i find my mate.. i can't make that decision on my own

You are getting old. You better find & decide soon, old person.

 

[Evil_Frisky]

I love kids, but yes... they change your life. Everything about your life, but IMO for the better.

When you meet that special someone, and your life changes directions you may change your mind. There are alot of people that just don't want to take on the responsibility. But I think its good your able to reconize it.

You know what you want.. some may say its selfish, I completely think different. It would be selfish of you to have kids just for the sake of having them. Sadly people do this everyday not realizing how it affects everything in their lives.

 

[PoyeBoy]

I had my kid now, I dont want them living with me when I retire, thats Viagra time mang, screw having them mid 30's, then you are way out of touch(well not always) with whats really going on so you cant relate with them on some things, also when you are older its harder to tolerate little screaming kids(from what I hear)

actually its cool being a father, they are as hard as you might think, well mine isnt anyway, if you can take care of a dog you can take care of a kid

 

[alien amp pharm]

if you can take care of a dog you can take care of a kid

I can't even keep my fish alive for more than 2 weeks.

 

[PoyeBoy]

I can't even keep my fish alive for more than 2 weeks.

Dont ever have kids then fatso

 

[from zero]

I kinda hate kids. So, things ain't looking too promising.

 

[NJjuice22]

you dont want to spread your name/seed?...wtf are you here for.

 

[alien amp pharm]

you dont want to spread your name/seed?...wtf are you here for. you aint a man.

That falls under #7 of my reasons for not wanting kids, mentioned above.

 

[Kroliczek]

I think thats a perfectly acceptable point of view, especially considering that youre still young. But you may/will find your attitude about it changing as you get older. Or not. Either way, its good that you have these things on your mind. Too many people who reproduce, go into it blindly and they really arent ready. And that has a negative impact on the chlidren.

Very true.

 

[PoyeBoy]

I kinda hate kids. So, things ain't looking too promising.

you need another person to procreate with, thats your greatest downfall

 

[Smurfy]

you need another person to procreate with, thats your greatest downfall

LMAO!!

 

[Evil_Frisky]

you need another person to procreate with, thats your greatest downfall

 

[from zero]

you need another person to procreate with, thats your greatest downfall

Eh, can't argue with that.

I'm a fucking tool.

 

[alien amp pharm]

you need another person to procreate with, thats your greatest downfall

Actually, males can't bear offspring.
That is his greatest roadblock about having a kid.

 

[NJjuice22]

Actually, males can't bear offspring.
That is his greatest roadblock about having a kid.

lol....for some reason that movie where Arnold is pregnant popped into my head.

 

[Kroliczek]

I definitely want to have kids. I still don't have a lot of patience for other people's kids, but I know that in 5 -6 years I want 1 or 2 of my own...

2 boys.

 

[Dakotah]

devastation wants three kids and i want 0 - i grew up raising all of my brothers and sisters 8 total from birth on because my dad worked all the time and my mom was way to irresponsible and didnt want to do her job so she slept and watched tv and locked me and the kids in a room. needless to say i had serious problems and still have no tolerance for any sort of sudden upturning of life moments. it is really hard right now because i know he wants a kid or 3 and i zero and yet we love each other so much it hurts to think if we ever split over something like that. one of the other reasons i dont want kids is i hate the thought of me even gaining a pound and the thought of what i would look like afterward- other women say oh just keep working out but i say hahaha its not that its just im not one for changes i like things just so and if they arent i get really psycho. i would be better off adopting a child a little older or just being a childrens teacher of some sort thats all i can handle

 

[alien amp pharm]

devastation wants three kids and i want 0 - i grew up raising all of my brothers and sisters 8 total from birth on because my dad worked all the time and my mom was way to irresponsible and didnt want to do her job so she slept and watched tv and locked me and the kids in a room. needless to say i had serious problems and still have no tolerance for any sort of sudden upturning of life moments. it is really hard right now because i know he wants a kid or 3 and i zero and yet we love each other so much it hurts to think if we ever split over something like that. one of the other reasons i dont want kids is i hate the thought of me even gaining a pound and the thought of what i would look like afterward- other women say oh just keep working out but i say hahaha its not that its just im not one for changes i like things just so and if they arent i get really psycho. i would be better off adopting a child a little older or just being a childrens teacher of some sort thats all i can handle

Dump him and marry me. We will reproduce and give our kids to him to take care of.

 

[Dial_tone]

I won't decide till i find my mate.. i can't make that decision on my own

Ditto. I can live with it either way.

 

[Carmen]

devastation wants three kids and i want 0 -

dakotah- i can tell you that growing up, i only wanted one. if any.
i think you know how i grew up and i never thought of myself as being very 'motherly'. i don't do well with change either and i wasn't sure if i even LIKED kids, or how to treat them.
EVERYTHING changes once they are your own though.
your body might not change, or you might even like the change- it can be sexy.
the quiet and order and peacefullness you liked before, you now feel wierd when you have it.

i can't imagine life without my kids. I wasn't one of those women who felt comfortable talking "baby talk" to them in public or carrying around a big ugly diaper bag, but now they are my pals and i managed pretty well when they were babies.

 

[randk]

I definitely want to have kids. I still don't have a lot of patience for other people's kids, but I know that in 5 -6 years I want 1 or 2 of my own...

2 boys.

having kids around is diferent when they are your own. you can take them just about anywhere and they are easier to house train than a puppy (takes longer though) And resposibility comes with need. aap, if you were not responsible you wouldnt even be thinking of this.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

no

 

[Dakotah]

Dump him and marry me. We will reproduce and give our kids to him to take care of.

sugarplum-
i see what you are saying i just have a really strong feeling about having a child of my own for some reason. I just really like my freedom and dont fathom the idea of bringing a child up in these times or anytime at all for that fact. i am not rich in fact we have a hard time finacially as it is and i have a temper that is hard enough to control as it is- i can be very unstable at times even for myself. I recognize my own self prolems and dont deny them so i know i am not fit to be a mommy.
I have always thought i would be a good mother because i have my a great deal of my life be a mother to several kids but i think that i am much happier without the responsibility and im not a threat to anyone either ie: the father!!
for example when i was babysitting my best friends baby i couldnt take care of the baby and be around dev. i wanted to strangle both of them- so maybe i should just have the baby and tell the dad to get lost huh? joke
Dev. couldnt even handle a few minutes of the baby crying i would hate to see him with his own even late at night if the child cryed.
I know things would be different if the child was our own but i just dont want to see that.

 

[Carmen]

sugarplum-
i see what you are saying i just have a really strong feeling about having a child of my own for some reason. I just really like my freedom and dont fathom the idea of bringing a child up in these times or anytime at all for that fact. i am not rich in fact we have a hard time finacially as it is and i have a temper that is hard enough to control as it is- i can be very unstable at times even for myself. I recognize my own self prolems and dont deny them so i know i am not fit to be a mommy.
I have always thought i would be a good mother because i have my a great deal of my life be a mother to several kids but i think that i am much happier without the responsibility and im not a threat to anyone either ie: the father!!
for example when i was babysitting my best friends baby i couldnt take care of the baby and be around dev. i wanted to strangle both of them- so maybe i should just have the baby and tell the dad to get lost huh? joke
Dev. couldnt even handle a few minutes of the baby crying i would hate to see him with his own even late at night if the child cryed.
I know things would be different if the child was our own but i just dont want to see that.

well, i won't sugar coat it- having a baby is hard. and unless you're really into it, it can be hard on a relationship cause if you feel that more of the responsiblity falls on you (which it will), you'll start to get resentful.
but, i'll tell you this- other people's kids are cute and all, but i wouldn't do well taking care of other people's. i don't really LIKE other people's kids.

 

[Dakotah]

well, i won't sugar coat it- having a baby is hard. and unless you're really into it, it can be hard on a relationship cause if you feel that more of the responsiblity falls on you (which it will), you'll start to get resentful.
but, i'll tell you this- other people's kids are cute and all, but i wouldn't do well taking care of other people's. i don't really LIKE other people's kids.

well said
i realize that i am sounding a little too pushy of my opinion on this but i know that someday i will probably have at least one kid. i just want things to be different from what they are now financially and emotionally for me.
i always want one thing and then want another later. only time will tell.
Thanks for the advice and info i will definatly keep in mind everything

 

[Forge]

I've never really thought about this one way or the other. If my (future) wife wants kids fine, if not then fine.

That is exactly how I feel about kids; I can be happy with or without them. When I was married I told my wife that whether or not we would have kids was her decision, but if we were going to have kids then I wanted two of them. This is still how I feel.

One choice means early retirement and more time with my significant other, the other choice means vacations with the "family", less sex, and children to take care of me when I get older. Either way is fine with me, but my wife (if I ever get married again) will always come first and the children second. In other words, I would never get married only to have children, I would only get married again because I love a woman and want to spend the rest of my life with her. After all, eventually the children will move out and then it's just the two of you again.

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

I like children but I never want to be a parent. Parenting is not for me. I don't want to have the responsibility of caring for a child and everything else that comes with having children. Not only that, but I am unable to ever get pregnant due to a medical condition. Besides I have 28 nieces and nephews that I treat as my own and when I've had enough I can send them back home.

 

[SoreArms]

As of now I don't plan on having any, but who knows what I'll think 5, 10 or even 15 years from now. I also think that if I ever am at the point of wanting kids, I'd rather adopt. I'm not gonna let my mate decide whether i want kids or not, this is how I feel now, so I look for mates who think the same. I do like kids though, just as long as I can give them back to their mother and away from me once they get annoying.

 

[jerseyart]

I do want children, but not just for the sake of having them.

It so depends on the person im with, and whetehr or not I would have enough love for her to want to have children with her. It depends on who she is as well, cause certain people I could definitely be with but not want to have children with her.

Also would depend on age.For me past a certain point Id be more and more reluctant, and that point isnt too far off any longer

 

[ChefWide]

well, i won't sugar coat it- having a baby is hard. and unless you're really into it, it can be hard on a relationship cause if you feel that more of the responsiblity falls on you (which it will), you'll start to get resentful.
but, i'll tell you this- other people's kids are cute and all, but i wouldn't do well taking care of other people's. i don't really LIKE other people's kids.

Nail on the head. It's a rareified scenario where others peoples kids are better behaved than your own.. different mindset, different set of rules/circumstances and the comunication skills are based on a totally different experience set than your own.

Very very hard. I have issues with other peoples kids, most folks do I think.

 

[velvett]

I just don't feel it, I never did feel the whole mommie/baby emotion and at 35 I don't suspect I ever will.

Coupled with being hormonally challenged in that department and not being entirely sure I could trust a man enough to be there to create this idea I have in my mind as to how a family out to be there's really very little chance of it.

 

[big4life]

I love kids, but I don't see them in my future. I don't know if I would want to bring a child into this world the way it is now.

 

[Lumberg]

I guess I could take or leave it.

I waver almost daily so however it turns out, I think I could accept that.

But sometimes I hold my little cousins and feel this upwelling of pure love, knowing that I want to be in their lives and watch them grow up and make sure their lives are happy and full. But of course I will never be as big a part of their lives as their parents, so I think to myself, "I need to get me one of these."

And I don't mind holding them when they cry or spit up either. But when they poop, it is nice to hand them to mom or dad. Even though I did offer to change diapers, no one has taken me up on that offer.

Cos I can't WAIT until one of them tries to give me sass, and I just say "I CHANGED YOUR DIAPER, MR. POOPYPANTS!" In front of his friends. Hopefully he's about 12 or 13 when that happens.

 

[Taps]

I have pretty strong ideas about how children should be raised, and if I can't meet certain conditions (marital, emotional, spiritual, financial, etc), then no kids for me.

At any rate, it would be years before I'd seriously consider doing it.

 

[lucidblue]

I love kids and families... I want 3-4 starting with a boy and at least one girl in there somewhere. I am the oldest and wish I had an older brother. He probably would've kept some of the stupid guys away in high school... I'm sure I wouldn't have appreciated it at the time, but it would've been good for me .

 

[velvett]

I have pretty strong ideas about how children should be raised, and if I can't meet certain conditions (marital, emotional, spiritual, financial, etc), then no kids for me.
.

I totally feel the same way.

 

[jenscats5]

I'm 35 and a woman, and I've NEVER wanted kids....don't have the maternal instinct or desire to ever be pregnant..... My first hubby wanted kids but knew I didn't & tried to change my mind...didn't happen....my mother was also very disappointed in me for not reproducing..... but you have to have kids cuz you want them & not for others or cuz you're "supposed to."

I think it's expected in society today for women to want & have kids, so they do, and that's not always best for the kids. I don't feel incomplete or less of a woman cuz I don't have kids....

 

[gonelifting]

Here`s another angle that I did`nt see addressed. When you have a child with the person you`re in love with, that child is a part of BOTH of you. It has features of both of you, characterisitcs of both of you etc... I love finding out new things about my baby that remind me of the woman I love (my wife not Pamela Anderson) and reminds me of myself as well. My baby curls her toes the way my wife does, sh stands and walks the same way I do, Her stubbornness is from both of us, she has my eyes and a bit of hers, the list goes on forever. THAT is awesome!!! To have someone small that both of you made and look or act like BOTH of you put together and to cultivate and mold THAT person to (hopefully) a beautiful adult and human being that loves you unconditionally... PRICELESS.

Of course I may not have said this BEFORE I had a child, but I certinly hoped it would be that way, and honestly, it came out better and more loving than I expected.

PS It`s hardass work though.

We`re planning our 2nd child as soon as possible.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

Here`s another angle that I did`nt see addressed. When you have a child with the person you`re in love with, that child is a part of BOTH of you. It has features of both of you, characterisitcs of both of you etc... I love finding out new things about my baby that remind me of the woman I love (my wife not Pamela Anderson) and reminds me of myself as well. My baby curls her toes the way my wife does, sh stands and walks the same way I do, Her stubbornness is from both of us, she has my eyes and a bit of hers, the list goes on forever. THAT is awesome!!! To have someone small that both of you made and look or act like BOTH of you put together and to cultivate and mold THAT person to (hopefully) a beautiful adult and human being that loves you unconditionally... PRICELESS.

Of course I may not have said this BEFORE I had a child, but I certinly hoped it would be that way, and honestly, it came out better and more loving than I expected.

PS It`s hardass work though.

We`re planning our 2nd child as soon as possible.

This was the anti-kid, I like my body the way it is, my career comes first, I don't need kids, kids will make my ass look fat, kids are too much work, my parents had no use for me as a kid, why do I want one? I'll make my mind up when it's too late...uh, thread.
You're in the wrong thread...

 

[jenscats5]

Here`s another angle that I did`nt see addressed. When you have a child with the person you`re in love with, that child is a part of BOTH of you. It has features of both of you, characterisitcs of both of you etc... I love finding out new things about my baby that remind me of the woman I love (my wife not Pamela Anderson) and reminds me of myself as well. My baby curls her toes the way my wife does, sh stands and walks the same way I do, Her stubbornness is from both of us, she has my eyes and a bit of hers, the list goes on forever. THAT is awesome!!! To have someone small that both of you made and look or act like BOTH of you put together and to cultivate and mold THAT person to (hopefully) a beautiful adult and human being that loves you unconditionally... PRICELESS.

Of course I may not have said this BEFORE I had a child, but I certinly hoped it would be that way, and honestly, it came out better and more loving than I expected.

PS It`s hardass work though.

We`re planning our 2nd child as soon as possible.

While all that is great, FOR YOU, I don't feel it, nor am I interested in having a child that is part of me & my hubby.....that doesn't define me as a person, nor define us as a couple.....

I think it's wonderful that you & your wife are happy about your child, but you need to realize that having kids is not for everyone -- if you don't have the desire to commit youself to that child, then you shouldn't have that child....I think more people need to realize that & not have kids just because you're "supposed to."

I think it's hilarious that so many people feel the need to debate not having kids or defend how great it is, etc......

 

[ChefWide]

While all that is great, FOR YOU, I don't feel it, nor am I interested in having a child that is part of me & my hubby.....that doesn't define me as a person, nor define us as a couple.....

I think it's wonderful that you & your wife are happy about your child, but you need to realize that having kids is not for everyone -- if you don't have the desire to commit youself to that child, then you shouldn't have that child....I think more people need to realize that & not have kids just because you're "supposed to."

I think it's hilarious that so many people feel the need to debate not having kids or defend how great it is, etc......

HEY NOW!

How you doin', Jenz? Missed ya.

 

[jenscats5]

HEY NOW!

How you doin', Jenz? Missed ya.

How you doin?? Gonna be in the USA soon?? I'm hungry....

 

[Lumberg]

jens, refreshing attitude. I like it.

gl--you put into words something I never have before. bravo.

 

[gonelifting]

jens, refreshing attitude. I like it.

gl--you put into words something I never have before. bravo.

Thanks man. It`s much easier to put into words when you`re actually living it everyday, which I am.

I was worried for a while after seeing Jen`s reply to my post. uh oh, but all is good. Everybody hopefully makes theri own decisions for themselves and their life. I was`nt singling anyone out, just for the record.

 

[jenscats5]

Thanks man. It`s much easier to put into words when you`re actually living it everyday, which I am.

I was worried for a while after seeing Jen`s reply to my post. uh oh, but all is good. Everybody hopefully makes theri own decisions for themselves and their life. I was`nt singling anyone out, just for the record.

Why were you worried?? I think what you said was great, but it's not for me.... with your attitude, you would be a great parent -- I wish all parents thought the way you do....

And I have had people argue with me when they find out I don't want kids and it is hilarious.....

 

[jerseyart]

GL: Do you really think she looks like you bor?








(exhales sigh of relief)

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

There's isn't a chance in hell for me having any, but I will always wonder about it...

 

[gonelifting]

GL: Do you really think she looks like you bor?








(exhales sigh of relief)

LOL Not anymore maybe... But I showed her a pic of me when I was a baby and she said it was her. I told her "that`s daddy" and she said "No, that`s me!" lol We looked exactly alike as children. Her mother too.

I`ll post a baby pic of myself some time and a side by side shot. I`ll let you jusdge for yourself. That should be fun. lol


Jenscat, I totally understand what you are saying. It`s not for everybody I guess and people SHOULD`NT just "follow the crowd".... and their relative`s push to having children. This is all new to me, I have no idea what`s in store. She`s only 2.5 and we want another one soon. Long ride ahead of us. I like it so far though.

 

[jerseyart]

LOL Not anymore maybe... But I showed her a pic of me when I was a baby and she said it was her. I told her "that`s daddy" and she said "No, that`s me!" lol We looked exactly alike as children. Her mother too.

I`ll post a baby pic of myself some time and a side by side shot. I`ll let you jusdge for yourself. That should be fun. lol


Jenscat, I totally understand what you are saying. It`s not for everybody I guess and people SHOULD`NT just "follow the crowd".... and their relative`s push to having children. This is all new to me, I have no idea what`s in store. She`s only 2.5 and we want another one soon. Long ride ahead of us. I like it so far though.

In all sewriousness your description of it is exactly the same as the one I envision when thinking of fathering a child. It's why I wrote earlier it depends on who the mother would be, as I can definitely see being withh someone, but not wishing to father her children.

Then again, I could see feeling so close to someone, and loving them that much, that I would hope to have a child that was both of us combined into one.

Figurateively a marriage is two seperate people becoming one. But having a child is the literal manifestation of that union

 

[alien amp pharm]

In all sewriousness your description of it is exactly the same as the one I envision when thinking of fathering a child. It's why I wrote earlier it depends on who the mother would be, as I can definitely see being withh someone, but not wishing to father her children.

Then again, I could see feeling so close to someone, and loving them that much, that I would hope to have a child that was both of us combined into one.

Figurateively a marriage is two seperate people becoming one. But having a child is the literal manifestation of that union

[This space reserved for when we get a 'whacking off' smiley]

 

[gonelifting]

In all sewriousness your description of it is exactly the same as the one I envision when thinking of fathering a child. It's why I wrote earlier it depends on who the mother would be, as I can definitely see being withh someone, but not wishing to father her children.

Then again, I could see feeling so close to someone, and loving them that much, that I would hope to have a child that was both of us combined into one.

Figurateively a marriage is two seperate people becoming one. But having a child is the literal manifestation of that union

Dude, wtf? I thought you were sugarplum until "fathering a child" then I had to check again. lol Change that damn avatar bro. I don`t look at names, I look at pics.

 

[SoreArms]

ok, now nobody post after me