Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below im almost positive a girl ive been with is pregnant...i wont know til later. thing is im not ready to be a dad...im 23 and dont know what im doing with my life. shes my age and is already stressed taking care of a 3 year old. i always use protection with her but the condom broke a few weeks ago so im really in a fucked up situation..if i find shes pregnant im going to try talking her into an abortion but of course it will be her decision. what are your guys' opinions on this? am i a bad person for this? i know if we kept it both of are lives would probably get much worse. please help.
abortion: need help please
- Thread starter markshark
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tell her you plan on having children with her some day, but that right now, the time is not right and it will severely inhibit both your lives. blah blah it will also inhibit the child's development with neither of you making as much as you someday could... the child will not have the same opportunities. As for abortion, it will ultimately be up to her, so don't let her play the revenge card. Regardless of what happens to your relationship, you are setup for 180k in expenses to raise a child to 18yrs old (i believe that's the number nowadays)... have fun.
CO B-man
New member
Its a decision you will never forget. I had a girlfriend get pregnant and all the way up to the day before I wanted her to have one. Then I tried to convince her to keep it to no availl. I found out a week later that was her 5th one and then I decided this type of a decision was way to easy for her so I dumped her!
Sorry to hear your in that situation!
Sorry to hear your in that situation!
Delinquent
Well-known member
If a kid isn't in your immediate plans, flush the fetus
digimon7068
New member
That's a toughy dude. . .it's a simple medical procedure. . .that involves killing a person. . .Dr Kevorkian went to jail for the same shit. . .ours is a very contradictory society.
I have 3 kids and wanted more so I couldn't possibly give you any objective advice. Think about it long and hard but, at the end of the day, it's not really your decision anyway.
Good luck, bro.
I have 3 kids and wanted more so I couldn't possibly give you any objective advice. Think about it long and hard but, at the end of the day, it's not really your decision anyway.
Good luck, bro.
chewyxrage
New member
Don't feel guilty about trying to convince her. Your in this, too.
Also get that woman on birth control if you stay with her. Condoms sucks.
Also get that woman on birth control if you stay with her. Condoms sucks.
feisty11975
New member
Delinquent said:
Ever heard of Adoption?
digimon7068
New member
FEISTY11975 said:
That is generally my thought but most people don't want to hear that shit. . .they've been brain washed. . .it's OK to kill unborn kids but it's not OK to assist the terminally-ill in ending their lives in a dignified manner. . .what kind of shit is that??
Even the highest courts in the land error frequently when it comes to matters of human life. . .that's why you play hell getting them to hear these cases in the first place.
The same people that would kill a fetus are also the ones that would support growing them to perform stem cell research. Can you have it both ways??
The day that viable human lives become spare parts, we're all fucked.
digimon7068
New member
hotzie said:
There's your advice from someone with experience ^^^^
My advice? Don't take advice from someone that ain't been there. . .and I don't mean last week. Someone that's had a few years to reflect.
Delinquent
Well-known member
digimon7068 said:That is generally my thought but most people don't want to hear that shit. . .they've been brain washed. . .it's OK to kill unborn kids but it's not OK to assist the terminally-ill in ending their lives in a dignified manner. . .what kind of shit is that??
Even the highest courts in the land error frequently when it comes to matters of human life. . .that's why you play hell getting them to hear these cases in the first place.
The same people that would kill a fetus are also the ones that would support growing them to perform stem cell research. Can you have it both ways??
The day that viable human lives become spare parts, we're all fucked.
A FETUS is not a baby. You people overthink this issue so much it's ridiculous. A fetus cannot sustain life outside the womb period. At this point in the pregnancy, it's nothing more than an appendage or part of the womans body. Depending on how far into the pregnancy, it would be indistinguishable from a chimp fetus.
People think of it in terms of what it will become not what it is for some reason. Sure, it'll become a baby but right now it is FAR from that.
Logic will never be a factor for people who think with their heart instead of their head so write out the pros and cons then decide for yourself
And yes an ex and I had two when we were 15 and 16. No regret whatsoever since I now know that we would have never stayed together once out of high school. If it's the right decision for you and you can convince the girl, go for it.
ksharp01
New member
Gymgurl said:
I agree totally....if you have this baby I would bet that you will wonder how you ever lived before the child came into your life. Yes, they change everything about your life, it is a part of you. I was 21 and married but I was so scared, thought we wouldn't have enough $ and that "it" would take up all my time..bla bla bla....13 years later, I just don't even remember my life before him. It was truely meaningless.
Delinquent
Well-known member
Smurfy said:
Yes and if I could have convinced her to get rid of it when we found out, it would have been done. It's too late now though unless some deformity shows up on the sonogram. If such a thing does, the fetus will be aborted.
truckdaddy
Banned
its murder without a doubt.....funny how people have little trouble killinb there own kids(the one thing they should be willing to die for) that being said, KILL THE LITTLE FAGGOT FETUS!
digimon7068
New member
Delinquent said:
You don't even know which side of the argument I'm on (you couldn't possibly. . .because I don't know myself), let alone what "people" I am. BTW, chimps don't sit around thinking about shit like this. . .they can't. . .that comparison is kind of lacks. . .vision.Personally, I don't have to look to far to see all kinds walking advertisements for birth control. . .no matter what kind it is. Unwanted people that aren't given up for adoption, frequently become a burden on society. However, I generally give everyone the benefit of the doubt. . .especially people that haven't given me any reason to think otherwise. . .like. . .ummmm. . .unborn human beings.
When the condom broke why didn't she go for the morning after pill? For future refernce if the condom breaks she has 72 hours to take the morning after pill.
Also is it just me or don't most people have the what if talk with there partners. I have always been upfront about the fact that at this time in my life childern are just not in the cards and will take all precautions to make that so.
Also is it just me or don't most people have the what if talk with there partners. I have always been upfront about the fact that at this time in my life childern are just not in the cards and will take all precautions to make that so.
Ive had to do this twice years apart already. I dont regret talking her into terminating either time. If you both have a bright future in front of you independent of each other then talk her into terminating at all costs. I did and Ive had years to reflect and I can tell you now that I have no regrets because my life wouldnt be near as great as it is today if i had a couple kids.
This is reality.
But first find out if shes pregnant in the first place by buying a piss test from the grocery store.
This is reality.
But first find out if shes pregnant in the first place by buying a piss test from the grocery store.
Whoa, talk about the conservative spin from some people.
You're not a bad person for considering your options. Dont let some backwards conservative try to convince you you're killing a human life. It's your decision, and someone else's slippery grip on a relative morality make the decision for you.
You're not a bad person for considering your options. Dont let some backwards conservative try to convince you you're killing a human life. It's your decision, and someone else's slippery grip on a relative morality make the decision for you.
Some of these posters could have been the producers of kirsten dunst's movie ''pregnant at 15'' or whatever it was.
I've been close to people on both sides of this. If I had my druthers, single parenting or teen pregnancy wouldn't have the stigma it does, & abortion would be illegal, adoption would be easier.
Allow me to mount my soapbox for a minute. Every body thinks of teens mothers as sluts, but every one of us that banged a teen in H.S. was this>< close to being in the same boat. If these girls had better access to family planning material, half of them wouldn't be in that situation. And of those that did get pregnant, if they had more support, & a viable option to go to term & put up for adoption, they wouldn't be so quick to abort. We have created, or allowed to flourish, the society that makes abortion seem necessary
Allow me to mount my soapbox for a minute. Every body thinks of teens mothers as sluts, but every one of us that banged a teen in H.S. was this>< close to being in the same boat. If these girls had better access to family planning material, half of them wouldn't be in that situation. And of those that did get pregnant, if they had more support, & a viable option to go to term & put up for adoption, they wouldn't be so quick to abort. We have created, or allowed to flourish, the society that makes abortion seem necessary
You have a great life now, in many areas, yes? But having a child is such a different paradigm, that you cannot imagine. It changes your outlook. It's like trying to explain the taste of pussy to a Bush. There's no point of reference.superdave said:
If you truly don't want kids, that's fine, but if an "accident" happens, it can be a blessing unlike anything you imagined.
A
alien amp pharm
Guest
I see a lot of irresponsible people in this thread.
I guess it's easy to fuck anytime you want then not have to own up to anything once a human life is formed BY YOUR OWN ACTIONS.
Really pathetic if you ask me.
I guess it's easy to fuck anytime you want then not have to own up to anything once a human life is formed BY YOUR OWN ACTIONS.
Really pathetic if you ask me.
H
heatherrae
Guest
Man, that is just such a personal thing.
On the one hand, you make very salient and logical points about not being ready for children.
On the other hand, I always thought that and held off having children until everything was "perfect." I learned that nothing is ever perfect. Here I am 36 and sort of wishing that I had done it when I was younger and my body could take it a little better. I now don't know if I will ever have kids, and they really are such a gift from God.
On the one hand, you make very salient and logical points about not being ready for children.
On the other hand, I always thought that and held off having children until everything was "perfect." I learned that nothing is ever perfect. Here I am 36 and sort of wishing that I had done it when I was younger and my body could take it a little better. I now don't know if I will ever have kids, and they really are such a gift from God.
blueta2
New member
Abortion is not murder. A women who is 2-3-4 weeks pregnant has a bunch of unformed cells in her womb, nothing even close to a human.
You need to decide what is best for you, and if at 23, this is not something you want, then do what you need to. Don't let the fear of regret rule your future. We can't live by the "what if's" and "should haves". This are not productive.
Every human being on this planet is fallible. The notion or comments about "well you had sex and you knew what could happen" are ridiculous. I wonder if these same ppl ONLY have sex to make babies. Condoms break, shit happens and then we have to deal with it to the best of our ability.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.
You need to decide what is best for you, and if at 23, this is not something you want, then do what you need to. Don't let the fear of regret rule your future. We can't live by the "what if's" and "should haves". This are not productive.
Every human being on this planet is fallible. The notion or comments about "well you had sex and you knew what could happen" are ridiculous. I wonder if these same ppl ONLY have sex to make babies. Condoms break, shit happens and then we have to deal with it to the best of our ability.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.
markshark said:
Before you get your panties in a bunch, getting pregnant after ONE time when the condom broke ONE time is not HUGE cause for concern. Yes, she can get pregnant from that, happens all the time. BUT, depending on where she is in her "monthly cycle" there may be NO REASON for concern.
Women can get pregnant like 2-5 days out of the month. The fertile window is THAT small. Do you know where she is in her cycle?
Why does she/you think she is pregnant? Symptoms? Late period? Why?
And I ain't touching the abortion discussion with a 10 foot pole. It is a personal decision and I am in no way able to judge someone else's decision. And my opinion on the matter should not make a difference to anyone else.
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