A study on Flirting Oxford England found...

[-Ariel-]

This morning I came across an interesting study on Flirting from the Social Independent Research Council... Oxford think tank, they studied the social dynamic of flirting and culture, this is in England, so Tat, can confirm the differences from American Culture... they blame us for a decrease in flirting, that we have 'Puritanical Problems', basically that we are so uptight and afraid of being misunderstood, that American culture actually decreases flirting in culture. There may be some truth to that, I dunno.

The study itself was fascinating. Who do you think initiates flirting more females or males? According to the study, 70% of the time females began the whole dynamic. Most peeps think its dudes, however not the case.

However, what happens is that females would only use flirting as a friendly way to converse. However, the majority of males were a little overoptimistic that the flirtation meant heightened sexual interest.
So males were more than likely to be confused, and state that she was sending 'mixed signals'. I think as our culture develops more, the confusion will dissipate to a large extent.

Also, they found out that things are much different than they were 1981 with female initiated dating. For example in 1981, 87% of female initiated dates ended by the 3rd date.

Today, they found that that 51% of female initiated dates lasted longer than 6 months, and only 2% ended up with one night stands. The crux is that in England, and I'm sure the numbers here would be similar, 64% of females stated that they would be uncomfortable asking a male out.

Has anyone here male or female here been in a relationship where the female was the initiator of the dating? Specifically, where it seemed, this is so hard to answer directly as well. Dude's tend to be overoptimistic, so yeah...

Anyone been in a relationship, where the female was the one that made the first move?

Did it last long?

 

[Metasomatized Ijolite]

I wish our culture would allow both men and women to be blunt when showing an interest in the opposite sex. It would be nice if I could just ask a woman who strikes my fancy if she would be interested in having sexual relations with me. It would be much better. There would be no mixed signals, mind games, or other bullshit. But no, we have to turn the whole dating thing into a bunch of stupid little games.

 

[-Ariel-]

I wish our culture would allow both men and women to be blunt when showing an interest in the opposite sex. It would be nice if I could just ask a woman who strikes my fancy if she would be interested in having sexual relations with me. It would be much better. There would be no mixed signals, mind games, or other bullshit. But no, we have to turn the whole dating thing into a bunch of stupid little games.

LOL
Well, so much going on there, I don't know where to address.
The only thing I can say is this, the stupid little games actually have a purpose. That's like the only thing I really, really learned.

They aren't random.
Complex thing bro.
Sides, U wouldn't really value anything if U didn't invest in it.
I dunno...

 

[nefertiti]

I made the first move on aquaman....it was absolutely terrifying. I knew he was attracted to me, but I had no idea how much he cared about the fact that I was formerly a student of his and quite a bit younger. And then I continued to bluntly pursue him - in horribly clumsy fashion, too. I still blush when I remember how badly I tripped over myself those first couple of days. But I really...really...REALLY wanted him, so I threw it all out there and risked getting an egg on my face.

Honestly, though, I think it was my (unintentional, yet still completely hilarious - even to me, once I could breath again) belly flop from twelve feet off the side of the boat that sealed the deal. Who can resist that?

 

[-Ariel-]

I made the first move on aquaman....it was absolutely terrifying. I knew he was attracted to me, but I had no idea how much he cared about the fact that I was formerly a student of his and quite a bit younger. And then I continued to bluntly pursue him - in horribly clumsy fashion, too. I still blush when I remember how badly I tripped over myself those first couple of days. But I really...really...REALLY wanted him, so I threw it all out there and risked getting an egg on my face.

Honestly, though, I think it was my (unintentional, yet still completely hilarious - even to me, once I could breath again) belly flop from twelve feet off the side of the boat that sealed the deal. Who can resist that?

Okay here is the idea I got from the whole study, like, while female initiated dating was way more successful, only 34% of women, again this was done in England, thinking the numbers are the same, would dare do this, I mean it makes sense, and like the study mentioned that all the magazines, Cosmo, push this idea, however, most of the time its still not gonna happen. Well the idea, I got indirectly was that it takes a certain 'persona' to push the agenda...

Fits U perfectly. Yeah, it also helps that he was able to still be Aquaman by saving U too. LOL

 

[nefertiti]

Okay here is the idea I got from the whole study, like, while female initiated dating was way more successful, only 34% of women, again this was done in England, thinking the numbers are the same, would dare do this, I mean it makes sense, and like the study mentioned that all the magazines, Cosmo, push this idea, however, most of the time its still not gonna happen. Well the idea, I got indirectly was that it takes a certain 'persona' to push the agenda...

Fits U perfectly. Yeah, it also helps that he was able to still be Aquaman by saving U too. LOL

I'd venture a guess that for a woman to break "tradition" and go after a guy, she probably already likes him a bit and has something invested to prompt her to take that risk. It's probably more common for guys to ask out a girl with less to go on, therefore there's more chance that some unknown incompatibility will show itself early on.

 

[-Ariel-]

I'd venture a guess that for a woman to break "tradition" and go after a guy, she probably already likes him a bit and has something invested to prompt her to take that risk. It's probably more common for guys to ask out a girl with less to go on, therefore there's more chance that some unknown incompatibility will show itself early on.

Yeah, they call that the proteus factor, the 'unknown compatibility' its like a jedi mind trick thing the chic sends on early of like mixed signals, so dude has to reveal his intentions... I dunno how she decides or rates or whatever, hell she doensn't even 'know,' she just does.

Yeah, like through that melee, dude is evaluated, sized up, and during the whole process dude has to decide whether to pursue or not. Thing is, dude has to do it in sync with her, and his movements, style, are being evaluated... I'm guessing alot of it subconsciously by the female.

But yeah, I guess its an evolutionary thing, U saved alot of time, though, by just pursuing the direct path...

Again, Diver Dudes....LOL

 

[digimon7068]

don't get me started. . .

 

[EnderJE]

don't get me started. . .

Is some younger chick flirting with you somewhere? And it makes you questions what could be?

 

[chazk]

This morning I came across an interesting study on Flirting from the Social Independent Research Council... Oxford think tank, they studied the social dynamic of flirting and culture, this is in England, so Tat, can confirm the differences from American Culture... they blame us for a decrease in flirting, that we have 'Puritanical Problems', basically that we are so uptight and afraid of being misunderstood, that American culture actually decreases flirting in culture. There may be some truth to that, I dunno.

The study itself was fascinating. Who do you think initiates flirting more females or males? According to the study, 70% of the time females began the whole dynamic. Most peeps think its dudes, however not the case.

However, what happens is that females would only use flirting as a friendly way to converse. However, the majority of males were a little overoptimistic that the flirtation meant heightened sexual interest.
So males were more than likely to be confused, and state that she was sending 'mixed signals'. I think as our culture develops more, the confusion will dissipate to a large extent.

Also, they found out that things are much different than they were 1981 with female initiated dating. For example in 1981, 87% of female initiated dates ended by the 3rd date.

Today, they found that that 51% of female initiated dates lasted longer than 6 months, and only 2% ended up with one night stands. The crux is that in England, and I'm sure the numbers here would be similar, 64% of females stated that they would be uncomfortable asking a male out.

Has anyone here male or female here been in a relationship where the female was the initiator of the dating? Specifically, where it seemed, this is so hard to answer directly as well. Dude's tend to be overoptimistic, so yeah...

Anyone been in a relationship, where the female was the one that made the first move?

Did it last long?

My wife seduced me .
She rented a condo next door to mine. I owned my condo.We pretty much ignored each other in the start. One day she asked me if i could help her lift her couch so she could vacum under it.
She asked me if i wanted a beer. Went to the fridge in the kitchen she had on a dress with no panties on .
She leaned over legs straight to grab a beer on the bottom shelf . Her dress moved up and exposed her tight shaved pussy .
She turned and looked over her shoulder then smiled.She asked me if I liked what I saw . She turned around and pulled down my pants and blew me right there.
She was a sexual monster needing sex 3,4,5 times a day in the start.But being together now for 8 years ( married 2) we only have sex once a day usually before bed no more of the 2-3 times a day stuff maybe on saturdays or sundays.

So she instigated this whole thing LOL

 

[-Ariel-]

Is some younger chick flirting with you somewhere? And it makes you questions what could be?

LOL, BRB, I'm no Lartinos...

No quite the opposite, in fact post graduation, I'm like hit how stale my life is now, no undergrads, no post grads, no eye candy, more ego candy,
Yeah, life on campus where that shit is like there for everyone, and now back to

'real world' where, well U got other worries, yeah it blows.
I"m not doing shit for another 3 weeks, just sitting on my ass. I'm heading to another campus, friend sent me the article, no it just hit me, how nice I had it.

LOL, I'm no Lart, my shit would get tossed at a nightclub, same as if I were driving on Yao Ming... tossed hard. U gotta be 5 10, and up to ride Space Mountain... I dunno what that even means? LOL Hell, I'm only 5 8.

 

[UA_Iron]

My wife seduced me .
She rented a condo next door to mine. I owned my condo.We pretty much ignored each other in the start. One day she asked me if i could help her lift her couch so she could vacum under it.
She asked me if i wanted a beer. Went to the fridge in the kitchen she had on a dress with no panties on .
She leaned over legs straight to grab a beer on the bottom shelf . Her dress moved up and exposed her tight shaved pussy .
She turned and looked over her shoulder then smiled.She asked me if I liked what I saw . She turned around and pulled down my pants and blew me right there.
She was a sexual monster needing sex 3,4,5 times a day in the start.But being together now for 8 years ( married 2) we only have sex once a day usually before bed no more of the 2-3 times a day stuff maybe on saturdays or sundays.

So she instigated this whole thing LOL

Fuck I just popped a woody. And on top of that I've been abusing stimulants all day.


Anyway, almost lost my train of thought. Ariel do you PhD work on correlating that study with Men's testosterone levels (that have been decreasing).

 

[-Ariel-]

Fuck I just popped a woody. And on top of that I've been abusing stimulants all day.


Anyway, almost lost my train of thought. Ariel do you PhD work on correlating that study with Men's testosterone levels (that have been decreasing).

Yeah, clever dude. Good stuff.

Stims are making U quick brah...

UA, leave me out of a post where U pop wood. Also slow down, take your time, relax.
I mean letting us know bout you can still get it up, while on stims, and calling me out in one post... relax... CNS is in hyperdrive, so take it easy.

If calling me out eases the cortisol elevation... go ahead dude.
Just don't freak out.

 

[digimon7068]

Is some younger chick flirting with you somewhere? And it makes you questions what could be?

younger chicks flirt with me all the damn time. . .i say thanks. . .and then i laugh. . .i'm very comfortable being 44 y/o. . .i really don't have any interest in younger chica's. . .i mean i can appreciate beauty, but that ain't my thang. . .nah. . .the one that has me questioning things is 11 months to the day younger than me. . .and she's all that. . .and a bag of chips. . .

and for the record. . .she is the one that stepped across the line first. . .maybe those damn limey's are on to something

 

[-Ariel-]

younger chicks flirt with me all the damn time. . .i say thanks. . .and then i laugh. . .i'm very comfortable being 44 y/o. . .i really don't have any interest in younger chica's. . .i mean i can appreciate beauty, but that ain't my thang. . .nah. . .the one that has me questioning things is 11 months to the day younger than me. . .and she's all that. . .and a bag of chips. . .

and for the record. . .she is the one that stepped across the line first. . .maybe those damn limey's are on to something

Yeah, in 13 years to say the same thing would be nice.
I think 40 is the new 30. The funny thing 8/10 if not 9/10 are saying the exact opposite thing U are... about younger girls. To get past shallow type shit, not so easy, I think.

 

[digimon7068]

Yeah, in 13 years to say the same thing would be nice.
I think 40 is the new 30. The funny thing 8/10 if not 9/10 are saying the exact opposite thing U are... about younger girls. To get past shallow type shit, not so easy, I think.

time will tell. . .but, honestly?? i believe i will. . .growing old is a fact of life. . .dying is a fact of life. . .i have someone that i'm ok growing old with. . .i'm ok dying in her arms someday. . .

 

[EnderJE]

younger chicks flirt with me all the damn time. . .i say thanks. . .and then i laugh. . .i'm very comfortable being 44 y/o. . .i really don't have any interest in younger chica's. . .i mean i can appreciate beauty, but that ain't my thang. . .nah. . .the one that has me questioning things is 11 months to the day younger than me. . .and she's all that. . .and a bag of chips. . .

and for the record. . .she is the one that stepped across the line first. . .maybe those damn limey's are on to something

What does it mean to step across the line? And what do you mean by first? Did you also step in time?

 

[-Ariel-]

What does it mean to step across the line? And what do you mean by first? Did you also step in time?

Was the previous Avi Nicholas Cage?

Why this distinguished actor?

 

[digimon7068]

What does it mean to step across the line? And what do you mean by first? Did you also step in time?

oh. . .it was totally verbal. . .just a comment, that at the time was funny. . .and cool. . .but later made me start thinking about stuff. . .then questioning stuff. . .you know the drill. . .so far, so good, though. . .no one's done anything bad. . .i'm sure, after the "buzz" wears off we'll be really great friends. . .having a hawt friend with a vagina is not the easiest thing in the world sometimes. . .but. . .it's worth the effort. . .

 

[nefertiti]

oh. . .it was totally verbal. . .just a comment, that at the time was funny. . .and cool. . .but later made me start thinking about stuff. . .then questioning stuff. . .you know the drill. . .so far, so good, though. . .no one's done anything bad. . .i'm sure, after the "buzz" wears off we'll be really great friends. . .having a hawt friend with a vagina is not the easiest thing in the world sometimes. . .but. . .it's worth the effort. . .

Is it? Is the temptation worth it? I know this is going to sound harsh, but I don't think you need to be having a "friend" like that. I don't think it's respectful to your wife to be close to someone who makes you "question" things. I've always had so much respect for the way you talk about your marriage - what you have with your wife is rare and I can almost promise you that no matter how great this other woman is, it's not worth risking what you already have.

I hate being judgemental, and honestly I'm projecting my anger at my brother onto you (long story...but he's worse than the scum on the bottom of my shoe as far as I'm concerned right now), and that's not fair. But be smart about this, digi.

 

[digimon7068]

Is it? Is the temptation worth it? I know this is going to sound harsh, but I don't think you need to be having a "friend" like that. I don't think it's respectful to your wife to be close to someone who makes you "question" things. I've always had so much respect for the way you talk about your marriage - what you have with your wife is rare and I can almost promise you that no matter how great this other woman is, it's not worth risking what you already have.

I hate being judgemental, and honestly I'm projecting my anger at my brother onto you (long story...but he's worse than the scum on the bottom of my shoe as far as I'm concerned right now), and that's not fair. But be smart about this, digi.

make no mistake. . .this is a friend i will have for the rest of my life. . .i've done nothing "disrespectful" yet. . .and i know that i won't. . .when you spend a lot of time with someone that you have a lot in common with there's a "buzz". . .if you're hetero and the friend is a guy, it's a non-sexual buzz. . .if your hetero and it's a girl, sometimes the buzz is a little sexual. . .i'm human. . .but i'm also a good person. . .a much better person than i knew. . .i'm actually quite proud of myself for being able to look past, get past that stuff and develop a meaningful relationship with someone that, under different circumstances, i would be a lot more deeply involved with. . .those ships sailed a long time ago. . .i'm ok with that. . .my life truly is perfect. . .i have no desire to mess it up. . .i have two young daughters, and i am their living example of how a man is supposed to treat a woman in a loving, committed relationship. . .that's one ball that i'm not going to drop. . .this whole experience. . .the first one like this in the almost 20 years that i have been with my wife (including dating) has really caused me to step back and look at who i am and how i am living my life. . .and, to be honest, there are a number of things that i became aware of about me that i wasn't to pleased with. . .they are now on my list of things that i work on everyday. . .i have a good friend. . .maybe, aside from my wife, the best friend that i have in the whole world and i am becoming a better person. . .how could it be wrong??

and as far as the "flirting" thing goes. . .i've always kind of been like that. . .although never in front of my wife. . .that would be disrespectful. . .i can't help it. . .i like to see women smile. . .even little old ladies in the grocery store. . .i catch their eye, i make them smile. . .it's part of who i am. . .hell. . .i flirt with my wife constantly. . .unlike a lot of people out there, i've never felt like i "caught" her. . .i still work at it every day. . .i do things to get her attention. . .things got a little out of hand this time. . .i learned something. . .that ain't gonna happen again. . .as much as i value my friend, this has been a physically and mentally exhausting experience, that i don't care to repeat.

i do appreciate your concern, though. . .and it is valid. . .i'm still a little jittery. . .but it's getting better.

 

[-Ariel-]

make no mistake. . .this is a friend i will have for the rest of my life. . .i've done nothing "disrespectful" yet. . .and i know that i won't. . .when you spend a lot of time with someone that you have a lot in common with there's a "buzz". . .if you're hetero and the friend is a guy, it's a non-sexual buzz. . .if your hetero and it's a girl, sometimes the buzz is a little sexual. . .i'm human. . .but i'm also a good person. . .a much better person than i knew. . .i'm actually quite proud of myself for being able to look past, get past that stuff and develop a meaningful relationship with someone that, under different circumstances, i would be a lot more deeply involved with. . .those ships sailed a long time ago. . .i'm ok with that. . .my life truly is perfect. . .i have no desire to mess it up. . .i have two young daughters, and i am their living example of how a man is supposed to treat a woman in a loving, committed relationship. . .that's one ball that i'm not going to drop. . .this whole experience. . .the first one like this in the almost 20 years that i have been with my wife (including dating) has really caused me to step back and look at who i am and how i am living my life. . .and, to be honest, there are a number of things that i became aware of about me that i wasn't to pleased with. . .they are now on my list of things that i work on everyday. . .i have a good friend. . .maybe, aside from my wife, the best friend that i have in the whole world and i am becoming a better person. . .how could it be wrong??

and as far as the "flirting" thing goes. . .i've always kind of been like that. . .although never in front of my wife. . .that would be disrespectful. . .i can't help it. . .i like to see women smile. . .even little old ladies in the grocery store. . .i catch their eye, i make them smile. . .it's part of who i am. . .hell. . .i flirt with my wife constantly. . .unlike a lot of people out there, i've never felt like i "caught" her. . .i still work at it every day. . .i do things to get her attention. . .things got a little out of hand this time. . .i learned something. . .that ain't gonna happen again. . .as much as i value my friend, this has been a physically and mentally exhausting experience, that i don't care to repeat.

i do appreciate your concern, though. . .and it is valid. . .i'm still a little jittery. . .but it's getting better.

LOL, Yeah... I don't think I can come up with anything better than this.
Like... I think its gettting this way though, slowly.
I agree, like he's confident and the type of flirting he does is more common in Europe, it is not like flirting with intent.
I think here we are more like wary of flirting, and flirting is more outcome oriented. LIke Nef U know how, we were talking about flirting as more of a woman's thing of evaluation and breaking the ice, I think his is more like that...
Not flirting with intent to procure, but flirting to lighten things up... that and he loves the attention...lol

 

[nefertiti]

Don't mind me, digi....I'm just having a crisis of faith at the moment...I PMed you about it.

 

[digimon7068]

LOL, Yeah... I don't think I can come up with anything better than this.
Like... I think its gettting this way though, slowly.
I agree, like he's confident and the type of flirting he does is more common in Europe, it is not like flirting with intent.
I think here we are more like wary of flirting, and flirting is more outcome oriented. LIke Nef U know how, we were talking about flirting as more of a woman's thing of evaluation and breaking the ice, I think his is more like that...
Not flirting with intent to procure, but flirting to lighten things up... that and he loves the attention...lol

i do have "attention" issues. . .for most of my formative years i was pretty shy. . .especially with women. . .i guess i'm making up for lost time

but i'm not going to mess this up. . .everyone in my life means too musch to me. . .it's all good. . .it's just a little confusing for me because this stuff has never happened to me. . .it's probably natural for other people. . .but i've been busy for a loooonnnggg time now and i've spent a lot of time with blinders on. . .there are certain realities in life that i've paid no attention to for way to long. . .and they are getting addressed now. . .i have no choice. . .they woke me up every night/morning at 3am for the last few weeks. . .although the last five days, i've slept like a log. . .things work out the way they are supposed to. . .as long as you step up to the plate and address them. . .i am.

 

[digimon7068]

Don't mind me, digi....I'm just having a crisis of faith at the moment...I PMed you about it.

don't sweat it sister. . .you're good people. . .i respect your opinion.

 

[EnderJE]

Don't mind me, digi....I'm just having a crisis of faith at the moment...I PMed you about it.

You have the diver not working out? NO!

 

[FriendlyCanadian]

This morning I came across an interesting study on Flirting from the Social Independent Research Council... Oxford think tank, they studied the social dynamic of flirting and culture, this is in England, so Tat, can confirm the differences from American Culture... they blame us for a decrease in flirting, that we have 'Puritanical Problems', basically that we are so uptight and afraid of being misunderstood, that American culture actually decreases flirting in culture. There may be some truth to that, I dunno.

The study itself was fascinating. Who do you think initiates flirting more females or males? According to the study, 70% of the time females began the whole dynamic. Most peeps think its dudes, however not the case.

However, what happens is that females would only use flirting as a friendly way to converse. However, the majority of males were a little overoptimistic that the flirtation meant heightened sexual interest.
So males were more than likely to be confused, and state that she was sending 'mixed signals'. I think as our culture develops more, the confusion will dissipate to a large extent.
Also, they found out that things are much different than they were 1981 with female initiated dating. For example in 1981, 87% of female initiated dates ended by the 3rd date.

Today, they found that that 51% of female initiated dates lasted longer than 6 months, and only 2% ended up with one night stands. The crux is that in England, and I'm sure the numbers here would be similar, 64% of females stated that they would be uncomfortable asking a male out.

Has anyone here male or female here been in a relationship where the female was the initiator of the dating? Specifically, where it seemed, this is so hard to answer directly as well. Dude's tend to be overoptimistic, so yeah...

Anyone been in a relationship, where the female was the one that made the first move?

Did it last long?

Lolol at disipate to a large extent, ever since women could no longer be kept as slaves and powerful men no longer had harems of women. I think the entire man woman thing has been pretty fucking confusing since the dawn of time my friend. Women are very confusing.. and I've heard they are confused.

A nurse told me this actually, something to do with both sides of thier brains developing faster in the womb, because they are creatures of estrogen which is natural to the woman so the body isn't forced to attack it etc etc.

but that with baby boys, when we produce testostrone the female body produces more estrogten and tries to get rid of the evil all might testostrone, so baby boys learn to survive for themselves from day one, and because of that only one half of our brain developes fully and the other much slower, she said the male brain isn't fully developed until something like 15-16.. which makes sense we were fucking tards.

but these two halfs basically come down to logic and emotion, so since women are equally developed with logic and emotion, EVERY single thought they have it slightly confused because it's mixed with both logic and emotion.

were ofcourse men are much more logical and less emotional, so that is how we base or decisions, and because we are less emotional we don't really get entirely why the heck women are so confused and confusing all the time. At least this is what my nurse friend told me and it seemed to made alot of sense.

She also said women don't like to hear this, which makes perfect sense especially since they are more emotional.. etc etc.

just what I've heard, either way bunch of confusing shit if you ask me.