I wanted to respond to Mr. Nelson Montana earlier, but I was so busy, I simply did not have the time. Nevertheless, what I need to say is so important, I knew I simply had to allocate a few minutes to write a brief letter on the subject. To organize my discussion, I suggest that we take one step back in the causal chain and oppose evil wherever it rears its unsympathetic head. Call me old-fashioned, but every time he tells his spin doctors that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question.
The world would be better off if he had never been born. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to inculcate in the reader an inquisitive spirit and a skepticism about beliefs that Nelson's helpers take for granted, I must explain to the population at large that Nelson exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. He intends to create a new social class. Insufferable vagrants, nerdy, impertinent menaces, and reprehensible, grumpy protestors will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their followers. There is something patently gruesome in the notion that peremptory storytellers have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us. Okay, that's a bit of an overstatement, but for all of you reading this who are not blockish autocrats, you can understand where the motivation for that statement comes from. Many the things I've talked about in this letter are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them, because before bothering us with his next batch of psychotic ethics, Mr. Nelson Montana should review the rules of writing a persuasive essay, most notably the one about sticking to the topic the writer establishes.
The world would be better off if he had never been born. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to inculcate in the reader an inquisitive spirit and a skepticism about beliefs that Nelson's helpers take for granted, I must explain to the population at large that Nelson exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. He intends to create a new social class. Insufferable vagrants, nerdy, impertinent menaces, and reprehensible, grumpy protestors will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their followers. There is something patently gruesome in the notion that peremptory storytellers have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us. Okay, that's a bit of an overstatement, but for all of you reading this who are not blockish autocrats, you can understand where the motivation for that statement comes from. Many the things I've talked about in this letter are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them, because before bothering us with his next batch of psychotic ethics, Mr. Nelson Montana should review the rules of writing a persuasive essay, most notably the one about sticking to the topic the writer establishes.

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