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A muther effin squirrel in the AC unit

shirlene29

shirlene29

I am BATMAN!
Platinum
EF VIP
got fucking sliced the fuck up in the blade and there was seriously intestines on top of the thing...

no I did not get pics..it was all I could do to spray the thing down with house wash after the husband took it apart and was hosing it down
congealed blood all over everything...muther fuckin fuck


that was this morning...NOW a fucking skunk sprayed somewhere under the deck outside the bedroom of this dump I'm living in that has shot window seals so it smells like its in my fucking bedroom




share your disgusting wildlife stories as long as they don't involve your penis...

commence...
 
for proper visual think of ...smeared like hamburger all over the ac unit outside with various pieces of sausage casings...OR rodent of your choice in a food processor or blender
 
no problem....I wouldnt of imagined it without help...so I thought some people might need some help

this was this morning too, like, morning coffee morning

p.s. I'm guessing it was a squirrel because some of the fur looked grey when it was being hosed off...there were no actual pieces large enough to identify
 
I had a sloth mess with my external lights at home (was hanging from a bulb) and had my french bully swallow a hole mouse when i tried to get her to spit it
 
Pick3 has a gerbil rotting in his ass. It died from suffocation. It's been sitting in there so long it's too hard to identify exactly what it is. But that seemed like the most logical answer.
 
The water is off at work again, so I may have to go poo behind a tree.

Either that or do an upper-decker in the ladies bowl.
 
If I was at home I could post the picture of mouse intestines and liver and skull that my cat left behind.
 
Better than snakes in the mutha fuckin unit
 
the neighbor with like 2-3 college age offspring and typically 4-5 vehicles in the driveway
I'm not positive because the chciks I've seen are fat
so I'm not sweating the details next door
but what I did notice was the altima with the "girly" decals had a busted out rear taillight and quarter panel daMAGE
so I'm going to play loud pink floyd at pompeii while he does him insurance bullshit
 
shirlene29 said:
got fucking sliced the fuck up in the blade and there was seriously intestines on top of the thing...

no I did not get pics..it was all I could do to spray the thing down with house wash after the husband took it apart and was hosing it down
congealed blood all over everything...muther fuckin fuck


that was this morning...NOW a fucking skunk sprayed somewhere under the deck outside the bedroom of this dump I'm living in that has shot window seals so it smells like its in my fucking bedroom




share your disgusting wildlife stories as long as they don't involve your penis...

commence...
Click to expand...

I used to stitch up humans in that condition
and deal with their family
and I was damn good
on both scores
 
shirlene29 said:
for proper visual think of ...smeared like hamburger all over the ac unit outside with various pieces of sausage casings...OR rodent of your choice in a food processor or blender
Click to expand...

burnt up people smell like roast beef
 
and I solve the riddle for you
casey anthony didn't duct tape her daughter to suffocate her
she was purging and it likely bothered her/them
so taped her shut
florida redneck I know
amazed me with all the experts and high profile case it wasn't mentioned
 
well I'm out of beer
got to strategize to get more
I have to use my passport at walmart
fvck I'm almost 49 but some of the newbs insist
on another note I think ther has been a high level mgmt change
because there are mostly hot black chciks manning the registers
 
the problem with a fat ass
for me at least
is imagining another gal while you're working that weight
 
now a nice body girl kinda face ugly,dumb or dishonest
you can work the imagination for 3 days
or so
 
yeah I know meadowlark
sometimes you can strike gold with a thick gal vaginal barrel
but it's roulette
and the house usually wins
 
shirlene29 said:
share your disgusting wildlife stories as long as they don't involve your penis...

commence...
Click to expand...
Skunk, lord ... my dear girl I am sorry for you and yours.

As for the squirrel mess, jesus they do get suicidal this time of year, don't they?

One time I was sitting at my desk at work (cripes, nearly 20 years ago :worried: ). I heard a sound outside, don't know how to describe it, a VERY loud electrical humming ZAP is as close as I can get. The power in the entire building went out. Turned out, not only the entire building, the whole area.

The VP of the company went for a walk outside and found a charred smoking squirrel lying on the ground. Best he could figure, squirrel had been running on the BIG wire (33,000 volt high tension job).

Okay, a semi-disgusting wildlife story (sorry I can't tell is quickly): Occasionally I get mice in the house, usually once or twice a year. For a while we were getting them pretty regularly and the cats would all hover for hours around the base of the refrigerator, what I jokingly referred to as "the mouse dispenser."

My cat named Bat REALLY loves to hunt and takes it seriously. If she finds a mouse she finds them highly enjoyable toys until they stop twitching, then she leaves them lying where ever they hit the ground (usually under a piece of heavy furniture). I do not care to see the critters tortured to death and really don't like hunting for the source of the smell of dead ones. If Bat finds a mouse I try to get my husband to take the mouse away from her and release it outside (his hands are tougher than mine, even little mice can bite hard). One night Bat brought a little squeaker into my office and was having a grand old game of "bat-mitten." Hubby tried to take the mouse from her and it turned into a game of chase the Bat. Bat ended the game by snarfing down the mouse (at least she wasn't torturing it anymore).

Later that evening, when my husband went to bed, he discovered that apparently mouse did not sit well with Bat and she decided he could have it now, in it's semi-digested state. Most amusing is that she barfed it up squarely in the middle of his side of the bed.
 
ugh so gross MM, I was up all night monitoring my french to see if she'd barf it... then I monitored her poop... seems she digested it well :worried:
 
cindylou said:
lmfao @ Bat deciding it was okay for him to have it now
Click to expand...
And now that I'm thinking about it ... perhaps the oddest part of the whole tale is that Bat is the only cat I have ever had that "announces" when she is about to hurl (and that's a whole lot of cats). Bat REALLY hates barfing, apparently. She starts making this really weird loud wailing meow, sounds for all the world she's saying "Ohhh Noooo!" You can hear it all over the house. She never made a sound when she gave hubby the mouse back, sneaky bitch.

BTW, no I do not enjoy watching my cat hurl (makes me want to gag, actually). When I said Bat doesn't like barfing, I mean it really terrifies her. One time she did it and either gagged so hard or scared herself so badly she puked and promptly fell into a dead faint, freaked me the fuck out big time (she was on the floor of the office so she just sort of slumped over). I actually was on the floor beside her shaking the fucking cat going "Batty?! Batty?! Are you alright, Batty?!?" Like the g'damned animal could understand me.
 
musclemom said:
Skunk, lord ... my dear girl I am sorry for you and yours.

Okay, a semi-disgusting wildlife story (sorry I can't tell is quickly): Occasionally I get mice in the house, usually once or twice a year. For a while we were getting them pretty regularly and the cats would all hover for hours around the base of the refrigerator, what I jokingly referred to as "the mouse dispenser."

My cat named Bat REALLY loves to hunt and takes it seriously. If she finds a mouse she finds them highly enjoyable toys until they stop twitching, then she leaves them lying where ever they hit the ground (usually under a piece of heavy furniture). I do not care to see the critters tortured to death and really don't like hunting for the source of the smell of dead ones. If Bat finds a mouse I try to get my husband to take the mouse away from her and release it outside (his hands are tougher than mine, even little mice can bite hard). One night Bat brought a little squeaker into my office and was having a grand old game of "bat-mitten." Hubby tried to take the mouse from her and it turned into a game of chase the Bat. Bat ended the game by snarfing down the mouse (at least she wasn't torturing it anymore).

Later that evening, when my husband went to bed, he discovered that apparently mouse did not sit well with Bat and she decided he could have it now, in it's semi-digested state. Most amusing is that she barfed it up squarely in the middle of his side of the bed.
Click to expand...

We had an old female cat that loved to hunt (was an outdoor cat at one time), she would stay awake for days to catch a mouse. Then she and the younger cat would chase it for hours until it finally died of fright. She was bright enough to come and get me to move furniture if the mouse got into a spot that she could not get to. She did not usually eat them, although one time a mouse she was torturing bit her and the mouse became instant dinner afterwards. I've also woken up with dead mice or parts thereof in bed; such a thoughtful present. :-)

The younger cat lasts about five minutes now, before it's time for some bowl or a nap.
 
Spartacus said:
the neighbor with like 2-3 college age offspring and typically 4-5 vehicles in the driveway
I'm not positive because the chciks I've seen are fat
so I'm not sweating the details next door
but what I did notice was the altima with the "girly" decals had a busted out rear taillight and quarter panel daMAGE
so I'm going to play loud pink floyd at pompeii while he does him insurance bullshit
Click to expand...

Careful with that axe, Eugene.
 
Mr. dB said:
Must be the fumes from the embalming fluid. :)
Click to expand...

last person I embalmed was an x-gf grandmother
february 4 2010
second x I dumped but called and requested I do the work
it's art and science
after Allison's grandma I cut bait
 
this doesn't fast enough for me anymore
have I got faster or has elite slowed
 
some dames you'll run across that were hot back then
and you avoid eye contact cause you're sort om embarrased at that fatness they've become
 
I bought a 5K ac unit last month from a guy I casually knew from back in the day
he married one of the hot gals I knew would remain hot
2 nice daughters now I see on the TV commercial
I think that's cool
knew him from the gym and the circuit
and he got forgot her name now, but you know
 
when is superdave gonna chime in and inform me I'm typing to myself?
 
on another note and keeping on topic
I haven't noticed the 33%, or so, reduction in my power consumption from my new unit
but no matter that wasn't the salient factor in my buy
I got irritated hearing that old unit kicking in every 8 minutes
 
musclemom said:
And now that I'm thinking about it ... perhaps the oddest part of the whole tale is that Bat is the only cat I have ever had that "announces" when she is about to hurl (and that's a whole lot of cats). Bat REALLY hates barfing, apparently. She starts making this really weird loud wailing meow, sounds for all the world she's saying "Ohhh Noooo!" You can hear it all over the house. She never made a sound when she gave hubby the mouse back, sneaky bitch.
Click to expand...

Alice and Clyde both made pretty much the same moan when they were about to vomit, it's a warning I've learned well. They also both made the same whimpering sound when they came in with prey.

I suppose Clyde could have learned those sounds from Alice.
 
I'll admit on occasion I'll fantasize about intercourse with a negro
but in reality it's too complicated
even with all the many tax advantages you could enjoy
 
speaking of the plethora of tax code opportunities for minorities
so long as you aren't;
chinese
japanese
indian
I got to take a piss
 
nangiggles said:
I had a sloth mess with my external lights at home (was hanging from a bulb) and had my french bully swallow a hole mouse when i tried to get her to spit it
Click to expand...

Ok Nan, that is seriously awesome! Where the hell was that? I've have been plotting how to keep the big guy as a pet! F'ing LOVE sloths!
 
One time I took the screw spray nozzle off of the garden hose outside to hook the hose up to something else and left the nozzle laying on the ground overnight.

Came back the next day, screwed the nozzle back onto the hose, turned on the spigot, opened the nozzle and... no water.
I waited a few seconds confused, so I opened up the twist nozzle a bit more and out comes a couple of tiny frog legs.

I guess the frog climbed up inside the nozzle when it was laying on the ground and the water pressure rammed him into the small nozzle hole.
And it was a nasty bitch prying his ass out of that nozzle tip piece by piece.
 
ewwww ^^^ same happened to me with a big ass spider in my pressure washer... had to pick her part out :worried:
 
Y_lifter said:
One time I took the screw spray nozzle off of the garden hose outside to hook the hose up to something else and left the nozzle laying on the ground overnight.

Came back the next day, screwed the nozzle back onto the hose, turned on the spigot, opened the nozzle and... no water.
I waited a few seconds confused, so I opened up the twist nozzle a bit more and out comes a couple of tiny frog legs.

I guess the frog climbed up inside the nozzle when it was laying on the ground and the water pressure rammed him into the small nozzle hole.
And it was a nasty bitch prying his ass out of that nozzle tip piece by piece.
Click to expand...

this is what we like to read about
2001 crew
best ever
 
myself
I use flammable aerosols to chase roaches
outside
you have to be careful to not allow the flame to get back into the can
short bursts
 
I don't think anyone likes roaches
so i feel I remain
morally correct
 
except that guy in Wild at Heart
who filled his underwear with roaches
wtf
 
my other post on another thread about the teen burned to a skull
her innards were still warm
but back on point
made me recall this scene
 
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