A Love Poem

[WODIN]

I remember when you were fat
And you had that
Hairdo that was 10 years out of date
And did I mention all that weight?

I remember when you
Looked like a cat that a dog started to chew
And nobody wanted to be friends with you
And you had a crappy personality

And remember when I asked you out
And you kicked me
Again
And again.

I remember when nobody saw
Your inner beauty--like that of a macaw
(Mostly because it isn't there)
Except for me
I saw it. Of course, I was under the influence of LSD

I remember all this
Because it was 10 minutes ago.

*Winner of Worst Peom at the Vegas Worst Writers Awards.

 

[WODIN]

EVEN THE GOAT SLAYER COULDN'T TOP THIS!

Donner Party Christmas Song
(A tribute to the joys of holiday family dining)

Chester's roasting on an open fire
Nibbling on morsels of Jack's nose
Yuletide carolers
Being served with a side of choir
And folks who taste like Eskimos
Everybody knows
No turkey but the Misses toes
Help to make a meal right
Tiny tots, in the oven all aglow
We'll find it hard not to eat them, tonight
We know that Santa's on his way
We hope he brings lots of boys and goodies
To eat Christmas Day
And every sauteed child
Can be served with wine
We'll see if someone dear, can be served on the side
And so I'm offering this simple try
Of kids from one to 92
Although someone's head
Has been served many times, many ways
Merry Christmas
Can we eat you?

 

[MommaKin]

you're fuckin demented...but, you knew that

 

[WODIN]

you're fuckin demented...but, you knew that

You have no idea.