1000 post thread?

[FreakMonster]

Yo momma so stupid she stayed up all night studying for her blood test...

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets!! BWHHAA

 

[FreakMonster]

Yo momma so stupid she wrote a 10 page answer to a
true and false question.

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

 

[casavant]

Yo momma so fat, when she fucks your daddy has to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.

 

[Binky]

Let's talk about giving facials again....this is getting boring.

 

[Bodhidogma]

this thread already has 111 posts and i am too lazy to read em...so bump.

 

[Binky]

Im back Binky-- we can talk about whatever you want--arent we supposed to keep it clean in the Chat forum?

You were in the shower...That's clean enough for me.
Carry on.

 

[Stryc-9]

I wonder if there has ever been a scientific study performed on the physical properties of cum in specific environmental conditions...

 

[Binky]

Did you know that cum in the shower gets all sticky and his difficult to wash off your face-- and if you miss a spot- it dries up and gets flaky--?


After 28 years I just found this out last week-- cum is much easier to handle when its not wet from water...

How's your skin though?????

 

[Binky]

silky smooth--


I even left it in my hair as a conditioner.

Your a real trooper.

 

[Binky]

Sometimes you got to take one for the team..

Your team spirit is commendable but....
I rather hear about how you took two for the team.

 

[casavant]

Did you know that cum in the shower gets all sticky and his difficult to wash off your face-- and if you miss a spot- it dries up and gets flaky--?


After 28 years I just found this out last week-- cum is much easier to handle when its not wet from water...

I'm pretty sure that this is universal guy knowledge.

 

[HumorMe]

We need someone to hold the camera HumorMe- its not easy to catch the beauty of a cum shot without helping hands..

*a look of disgust*
Damn....a camera man.....talk about being a fifth wheel...well...at least I'm in there somewhere!

 

[FreakMonster]

Sometimes you got to take one for the team..

Nicole,
Has your guy ever came on your face without being in the shower?

 

[FreakMonster]

Your back Freak--

Why yes he has-- I wish he were online today- hed probably tell you all about it-- he thinks Im trying to screw him to death..

he actually got me in the eye the other day-- cum burns in your eye...

LOL Yes I have gotton a girl in the eye before and it hurt her quite a bit but damn it was fucking hilarious and we both laughed.

LUNCH WAS GREAT!!!

 

[HumorMe]

We laughed too-- the first pump hit the wall behind me-- second on my forehead-- 3rd in my left eye--- I was very proud..

and....keep going.....



*Making note in notebook*......Nicole's man needs shooting lessons.

 

[Binky]

We laughed too-- the first pump hit the wall behind me-- second on my forehead-- 3rd in my left eye--- I was very proud..

You paint a great picture....

 

[FreakMonster]

We laughed too-- the first pump hit the wall behind me-- second on my forehead-- 3rd in my left eye--- I was very proud..

NICE!!!!

I need to find me a women that would be proud of such deeds.

I can picture it now

Is there anything you won't do in bed?

 

[The Shadow]

So...Bees work.

 

[Binky]

So...Bees work.

Only after they have shoot their honey all over the queen bee
in the shower.

 

[Gilbyag]

We laughed too-- the first pump hit the wall behind me-- second on my forehead-- 3rd in my left eye--- I was very proud..

my kinda girl...

 

[Binky]

my kinda girl...

Still Warm.

 

[~~~SlickassBiatch~~~]

freakmonster -

Gators suck.

 

[HumorMe]

Just doing my part to help Freak make his 1000-- Im a team player--


Ok heres another reason my guy thinks Im tring to screw him to death.. (hes a great lay BTW)

I am driving us home at like 5am Thanksgiving morning from a party that was about half hour away-- I wasnt paying attenton and the car started bogging on the high way-- I manage to start to pull off the next exit and the car stalled on the ramp-- out of gas-- so we make a couple of calls and get his nephew to come bring us gas-- (it was cold out and I didnt want to walk a mile and back to the closest gas station) so I pull him in the back seat and we are screwing for a solid half hour 45m ins-- the car now is FREEZING and his nephew is not around-- so I decided to try to get the car started.. and a miricle happened -- it started and we drove to the gas station...

his story is.. Nicole faked the car running out of gas so she wanted to screw me---

I thought only guys played that trick? That shit never worked for me. Lucky bastard!

 

[The Shadow]

Re: freakmonster -

Gators suck.

I pledge allegiance to the boobie...er, flag

 

[FreakMonster]

Re: freakmonster -

Gators suck.

AHHHH there you are.

Where the fuck you been Semenhole?

Can you say 37-14? LOL

 

[Binky]

Come on folks...we are 14.2% of the way there.

 

[Binky]

I have been trying Binky to stir up conversation..

Well, I'm just about re-loaded so let's hear another story.

 

[HumorMe]

Sorry...I was just reading about Mommakin trying to get her taco eaten over on Gilby's thread. Seems as though she gave up and decided to eat it herself. I'm going to get some popcorn and watch.

 

[Captain_insano]

i would never have enough time to read this entire thread but i will bump it.

 

[FreakMonster]

Me too, I wanna hear another reload story!!!

Anyways, Nicole are you into 3 somes?

 

[HumorMe]

Yes as a matter of fact I reallllllly do like them-- alot

My damn air conditioner must be broken!

 

[FreakMonster]

Yes as a matter of fact I reallllllly do like them-- alot

Girls or guys?

 

[Binky]

- we hit the anal route for giggles...

Anal at 35,000ft. I'll have to try that with the G.F. next month
on the way to Orlando..

 

[Binky]

I highly reccommend it--

Freak -- either or- both its all good..

I prefer

 

[ShadowKnight]

bumpage

 

[saint808]

i'm doing my part... right about ... now

 

[FarBeyondDriven]

i'm doing my part... right about ... now

What the man said.

 

[FreakMonster]

I highly reccommend it--

Freak -- either or- both its all good..

I'll jump in on all the fun!

 

[kuda75]

bump for a thousand

 

[FreakMonster]

Ever have 1?

Once with my ex-gf and her female friend. It was fun until we got interrupted.

How many times have you had a 3 some?
Do you like to have another guy or girl in the action?

 

[gettingdiesel]

Freak,

I'm glad it burnt your girls eye too I was sure I had an STD!!


GD

 

[Superman7]

bump

bump ....

 

[FreakMonster]

Freak,

I'm glad it burnt your girls eye too I was sure I had an STD!!


GD

LOL

 

[FreakMonster]

I wonder what I'll be once I hit the 2000 post mark?

 

[FreakMonster]

Looks like I'm on pace to be an Olympian

 

[Superman7]

how about 4?

I've got a classic involving a great little foursome.......

 

[Frackal]

PENIS

 

[gettingdiesel]

That is funny Nicole I have had some very similar activities.

 

[Binky]

GD --

and I have even had some 4some action---

What was the ratio between Palm Trees and Flatlands
in this 4some?????

 

[FreakMonster]

PENIS

PUSSY

 

[gettingdiesel]

Nicole tell them about the poison

 

[FreakMonster]

Nicole tell them about the poison

POISON?


Let's here it

 

[gettingdiesel]

Freak,

We'll get this post started now for ya. And yes Nicole likes Anal. Where is Wombat?

GD

 

[FreakMonster]

Freak,

We'll get this post started now for ya. And yes Nicole likes Anal. Where is Wombat?

GD

I wanna here some freaky ass stories.

GD, what did you do with miss PAP?

 

[FreakMonster]

Excuse me while I drop the kids off at the pool!!

 

[FreakMonster]

Holy shit!! I just clogged my toilet up!!

 

[gettingdiesel]

Where to Begin? Last Night I picked her up from a Local bar brought her home. She was good and drunk. The way I like her. I ate her pussy till she came once than I fucked her misssionary flipped her over fucked her from behind for way too long because I had a buzz going too.

Then I cracked out the lube and went anal she came like 3 times before I went for the Anal. She was screaming at me to stop because I can't cum when I'm drunk but I wasn't giving in so I pounded on her ass at first she had her ass up in the air but she couldn't take it any more so she fell flat but I continued and came right in her ass.

This is just the last 24 Hours.

GD

 

[rudedawg]

I'll add to this :

Just got back from dr. and looks like I am going to have to have an MRI on my shoulder...... doesn't sound like anything is torn but he wants to make sure......then it is on to an injection. This sux.

 

[gettingdiesel]

Oh then she started crying and kicked me out of bed.

GD

 

[FreakMonster]

Oh then she started crying and kicked me out of bed.

GD

Hehe wow, I bet she's walking funny now!

 

[gettingdiesel]

I don't know about that she is a trooper, and there are more stories.

 

[Superman7]

please tell diesel....

fill us in diesel......

 

[gettingdiesel]

Nicole is not as tough as she's acting, But she is a great fuck, and a great girl That was me being nice.

GD

 

[FreakMonster]

I can handle the rough stuff---

Wow my kinda girl!!

 

[gettingdiesel]

What is it you say when I put my Cock in Your Ass Nicole?

 

[Binky]

O.K. you two....Get a hotel room.

 

[gettingdiesel]

Easy, Easy, Easy, Easy

 

[ShadowKnight]

The contents of the bag of M&M's I just bought.

2 yellow
4 blue
5 green
5 red
18 orange
30 brown

Yes, I did get screwed on the yellow ones, but hey, four blue ones!

And, contrary to popular belief, it is necessary to sort them by color before the delightful process of mastication.

SK

 

[gettingdiesel]

If this thread hasn't hit 1000 by tonight or tomorrow I'll tell them all about the way I do you when you drop off my car.

I thought I was going to Hold out from giving you sex for awhile, but I'm a bit wryled up myself


GD

 

[JustinM]

The contents of the bag of M&M's I just bought.

2 yellow
4 blue
5 green
5 red
18 orange
30 brown

Yes, I did get screwed on the yellow ones, but hey, four blue ones!

And, contrary to popular belief, it is necessary to sort them by color before the delightful process of mastication.

SK

thats fucking bullshit...that is no where near even, fuck them

lol
peace

keep it going!

 

[Binky]

My taint smells a little funky. Anyone have any suggestions?

Lysol.

 

[rudedawg]

My taint smells a little funky. Anyone have any suggestions?

Wash it........ and for God sakes quit rubbing it and then smelling your fingers.

 

[ShadowKnight]

thats fucking bullshit...that is no where near even, fuck them

lol
peace

keep it going!

I thought so too . . . but I have the munchies and only had 50 cents, what was I supposed to do?

SK

 

[ShadowKnight]

Wash it........ and for God sakes quit rubbing it and then smelling your fingers.

 

[FreakMonster]

Anyone watch any Briana Banks porn videos?

I downloaded it the other night and she had this guy fingering her asshole and then he would take his finger out and she would suck on them.

Ewie

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

 

[Binky]

The contents of the bag of M&M's I just bought.

2 yellow
4 blue
5 green
5 red
18 orange
30 brown

SK

O.K. in the process of laughing my ass off, I went and purchased
a bag of M&M's from our Vending machine.
I got....
5 Yellow
4 Blue
7 Green
3 red
22 orange
25 brown

You did get screwed.... I got 2 more than you.

 

[ShadowKnight]

SK is just trying to make his 100th post...

Fine....I'll stop contributing to the 1000 post thread.



Pardon me while I go crawl in a corner.

SK

 

[HumorMe]

O.K. in the process of laughing my ass off, I went and purchased
a bag of M&M's from our Vending machine.
I got....
5 Yellow
4 Blue
7 Green
3 red
22 orange
25 brown

You did get screwed.... I got 2 more than you.

WTF!?!

Binky....Before I left to go pick up my kids, Nicole, FM, GD and all were talking about threesomes, foursomes and all that shit and now the subject is fucking M&M's?


What's up with that?

 

[Binky]

WTF!?!

Binky....Before I left to go pick up my kids, Nicole, FD, GD and all were talking about threesomes, foursomes and all that shit and now the subject is fucking M&M's?


What's up with that?

I didn't start it

 

[FreakMonster]

That's pretty close to a nasty sanchez.

I think it's worse than the dirty sanchez.

Briana Banks is fucking hot as hell too!!

 

[Binky]

I think it's worse than the dirty sanchez.

Briana Banks is fucking hot as hell too!!

They get enema's before the shoot, so she's prolly
pretty clean back there.....
No worse than tossing the salad.
Just brush yo teeth before giving anyone a kiss.......

 

[kronk]

They get enema's before the shoot, so she's prolly
pretty clean back there.....
No worse than tossing the salad.
Just brush yo teeth before giving anyone a kiss.......

Thats what Listerene Pocket Pals are for..kill the germs after you toss salad! LMAO!

 

[Binky]

Thats what Listerene Pocket Pals are for..kill the germs after you toss salad! LMAO!

Next time I'm standing in line to check out at the grocery store
and I see someone whip those out on the counter.....
I'm gonna be dying laughing.

 

[kronk]

LOL!!

Nicole...I would love to show you how this works in person....AHHHH fresh breath!

 

[kronk]

Next time I'm standing in line to check out at the grocery store
and I see someone whip those out on the counter.....
I'm gonna be dying laughing.

Went to Costco yesterday and picked up a pack of 6! Guess I like to eat ass and smoke too much pot. Oh yea, it kills cotton mouth too! HAHA

 

[MommaKin]

I love tossed salad

 

[FreakMonster]

Minty fresh--

I actually have some in my purse-- lol!!
kronk you dont play enough on elite.. so I just have to keep playing with your lovely wife.. (I cant wait to see her new boobies)

DID SOMEONE SAY BOOBIES?

 

[FreakMonster]

I love tossed salad

I'll toss your salad so nice you'll beg for more

I TOSS SALADS FOR A LIVING!!

 

[kronk]

Minty fresh--

I actually have some in my purse-- lol!!
kronk you dont play enough on elite.. so I just have to keep playing with your lovely wife.. (I cant wait to see her new boobies)

I know..just been so busy with work and stuff. I finally cooled down and told them to go and screw themselves. I gotta get out of this business, too much travel and stuff like that. I am gonna be around a bunch more now.

It sucks right now (playing with the wife) cause she is recovering. Try having sex like we do, when you can more her upper body at all! DAMN it sucks bigtime. Two weeks and we have only been able to have sex twice. However, oral sex everyday, but thats just NOT the same for me!

Now back to business, you got a pack in your purse huh? Hmmmmm.. I think I should zoom over and toss some salad! Im cutting up, so its OK. Salad is low on cals and wont fuck it up!

 

[ShadowKnight]

The National Automatic Merchandising Association has a timeline that chronicles the history of vending machines. It begins in 215 B.C. with a device that dispensed holy water in Egypt. Then in 1076 A.D. there was a coin-operated pencil vending machine in China. But I am having trouble figuring out what they mean by "pencil". I suppose it refers to some sort of writing implement, but I assume brushes were commonly used and certainly not our modern pencil which was invented, most likely, in England. Creators of early Chinese writing made use of carving and sticks, but what was a "pencil" in 1076 A.D.?

SK

 

[kronk]

And Im pretty sure the listerine strips are calorie free..lol!!

Are you guys all excited about Azia and pauly?? I may have to join the Premium once those pics come on..

Yea...its gonna be crazy. A freaking full on orgy for 4 days. Falling snow, hot tubs, and tossing Azia salad all day! HAHA Im trying to figure out who will take the pics, I dont want to have to be fucking with the camera!

I will take my laptop and my dig cam, so we can upload the first day! HAHAHAHA

 

[JustinM]

I thought so too . . . but I have the munchies and only had 50 cents, what was I supposed to do?

SK

lol..

come on GUYS THE ROADHOUSE SIDESHIT HAS MoRE POSTS THAN THIS

KEEP EM COMING

 

[FreakMonster]

1 more SK and I want karma!!

I gave you karma you sex freak!!

 

[ShadowKnight]

1 more SK and I want karma!!

Why don't you tell me how bad you want it first.



SK

 

[Pink Space Biscuit]

I just woke up, I still have the flu and my hands are frozen. Pajama pants are comfortable and warm.

Oh yeah and I don't have the attention span to read 13 pages of posts.

 

[satanic goatslayer]

 

[rudedawg]

Classic SG post.

 

[Binky]

Classic SG post.

Not really... I thought it was weak. I was hoping
he'd been hitting the shine and would write a real pearl
of wisdom.

 

[Rebelrocker]

hmm....