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1 mil karma for the funniest joke!
- Thread starter PICK3
- Start date
C0LUMB0
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I only know story style jokes, sorry if it's too long guys:
Billy Joe and Emma Sue are a redneck couple, and one day they decide to get hitched. So, both clans come out and do the hillbilly wedding thing--shotguns, whiskey, the whole deal.
On the wedding night, Billy Joe takes Emma Sue out to his father's hunting cabin for their honeymoon. As he's carrying her over the threshold, Emma Sue leans over and whispers in his ear, "Billy Joe, I'm a little nervous. You know, I ain't never been with a man before." Billy Joe's eyes bug out, and he drops Emma Sue right on her ass. He shoots out the door and runs all the way back to his family's house.
After he opens the door, exhausted with the effort, his father says to him, "Son, shouldn't you and Emma Sue be makin' the marriage official right about now?" Billy Joe replies, "I'm sorry, Paw, but I can't marry that girl." "Well, why not?" says his dad. "She said she ain't never been with a man afore." At this, Billy Joe's father nods his head gravely and pats his son on the shoulder, saying:
"Son, you done the right thing. If that girl ain't good enough for her family, she ain't good enough for ours!"
Billy Joe and Emma Sue are a redneck couple, and one day they decide to get hitched. So, both clans come out and do the hillbilly wedding thing--shotguns, whiskey, the whole deal.
On the wedding night, Billy Joe takes Emma Sue out to his father's hunting cabin for their honeymoon. As he's carrying her over the threshold, Emma Sue leans over and whispers in his ear, "Billy Joe, I'm a little nervous. You know, I ain't never been with a man before." Billy Joe's eyes bug out, and he drops Emma Sue right on her ass. He shoots out the door and runs all the way back to his family's house.
After he opens the door, exhausted with the effort, his father says to him, "Son, shouldn't you and Emma Sue be makin' the marriage official right about now?" Billy Joe replies, "I'm sorry, Paw, but I can't marry that girl." "Well, why not?" says his dad. "She said she ain't never been with a man afore." At this, Billy Joe's father nods his head gravely and pats his son on the shoulder, saying:
"Son, you done the right thing. If that girl ain't good enough for her family, she ain't good enough for ours!"
Two men were sitting at a bar at the top of a skyscraper. Both were bending their elbows at a steady rate. The first man said, “You know, there’s such an updraft on the outside of this building, that if you jump off, you’ll fall for a bit, but the updraft will catch you, and bring you right back up to this balcony.
The second guy said, “I don’t believe it, you’ll have to prove this to me.”
So the first guy goes over the balcony and jumps off. He falls and falls and falls, and then he slows in mid drop, and begins rising back up. Finally, he lightly steps back onto the balcony. “See, I told you,” he says.
The second guy says, “I’ve got to try that.” So he jumps off the balcony, and falls and falls and falls and falls. Finally, splat on the ground.
The first guy returns to the bar and orders another drink.
As he serves the drink, the bartender says, “You’re a mean drunk, Superman.”
The second guy said, “I don’t believe it, you’ll have to prove this to me.”
So the first guy goes over the balcony and jumps off. He falls and falls and falls, and then he slows in mid drop, and begins rising back up. Finally, he lightly steps back onto the balcony. “See, I told you,” he says.
The second guy says, “I’ve got to try that.” So he jumps off the balcony, and falls and falls and falls and falls. Finally, splat on the ground.
The first guy returns to the bar and orders another drink.
As he serves the drink, the bartender says, “You’re a mean drunk, Superman.”
Last one. My husband (1/2 Mohawk) loves this joke:
The cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to a clearing. There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection.
"What are you doing?" the cowboy asks.
The Indian answers, "Me tell time."
"OK. If you are so good, what time is it?"
The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said, "It 2 o'clock."
The cowboy looks at his watch and says, "By Golly, you are right!"
The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian laying on a blanket.
"Don't tell me... you're telling time also?"
The Indian looks up at him and says, "Yes, me telling time."
"Okay smartass, what time is it?"
The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says, "It 4 o'clock."
The cowboy is amazed at the Indian.
He keeps walking and hours later he comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating.
"Don't tell me you're telling time!?"
Indian looks up at him and says, "No, me winding watch!"
The cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to a clearing. There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection.
"What are you doing?" the cowboy asks.
The Indian answers, "Me tell time."
"OK. If you are so good, what time is it?"
The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said, "It 2 o'clock."
The cowboy looks at his watch and says, "By Golly, you are right!"
The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian laying on a blanket.
"Don't tell me... you're telling time also?"
The Indian looks up at him and says, "Yes, me telling time."
"Okay smartass, what time is it?"
The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says, "It 4 o'clock."
The cowboy is amazed at the Indian.
He keeps walking and hours later he comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating.
"Don't tell me you're telling time!?"
Indian looks up at him and says, "No, me winding watch!"
PICK3
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PICK3
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