I love the way my BF pushes...

[Spartacus]

well fuk, Im probably a psychopath. I think I have/had some the symptoms mentioned in that psycho awareness link.

 

[blueta2]

SD; no thanks on the mask! Be real, it's so much sweeter

Ebony, every human fits some traits of a personality disorder, it's the ones who cannot see any traits in themselves who are the true psychopaths.
Do you feel you fit this?
Psychopathy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cindy, I hover between hatred and feeling sorry for them. They are so pathetic and sad and it's heartbreaking because at the end of the day, you're still human and as it's normal to want to feel compassion for them, but they are just so sick, it's hard to forgive.
I am much closer to indifference than forgiveness. I'm actually working on self-forgiveness for being so weak.
I was weak and wanted to believe the good. The were a ton of red flags, sick crazy ones, which I ignored, so it's really, my fault for staying.
My life now is good, happy and full of loving people so that helps me with self forgiveness. And part of self forgiveness is not talk about it anymore. Any thought of it or talking about it keeps giving it power. So that's all I will say on this.
But if you are in a situation like this, I pray you get out!

 

[ledhead]

Here is the skinny on NPD once and for all. People with NPD are so hungry to fix their low self image they try to act like they have a high self image. They are obsessed with having a high self image, so they artificially manufacture one. It is nothing but a defense mechanism to help their bruised ego cope with the anxiety of their failures. Therefore, they use "projection," which is trying to make themselves feel superior, but in reality the person with NPD feels inferior. The biggest misconception of NPD is that people think a narcissist really believes they are great, but the truth is they really feel inferior. This usually stems from a traumatic childhood..

I forgot to mention. People who try to change people with NPD usually are narcissists themselves..

 

[ceo]

it's too bad you all can't be awesome like me.

 

[cindylou]

Here is the skinny on NPD once and for all. People with NPD are so hungry to fix their low self image they try to act like they have a high self image. They are obsessed with having a high self image, so they artificially manufacture one. It is nothing but a defense mechanism to help their bruised ego cope with the anxiety of their failures. Therefore, they use "projection," which is trying to make themselves feel superior, but in reality the person with NPD feels inferior. The biggest misconception of NPD is that people think a narcissist really believes they are great, but the truth is they really feel inferior. This usually stems from a traumatic childhood..

I forgot to mention. People who try to change people with NPD usually are narcissists themselves..

I agreed with everything you said until I saw your edit. One of the most disturbing parts of NPD that you didn't mention was lack of empathy, and magical thinking...the grandiosity gap between what the narc thinks of himself and his accomplishments and actual reality of who he is/his accomplishments. They might actually feel inferior somewhere deep down but they are usually not introspective enough to realize what is really going on. Someone with narcissistic traits can change someone with NPD can't.

Narcs (people with NPD or a narcissistic personality...not just some narcissistic traits) can't change any more than someone with a handicap can change that they have a handicap, but anyone who is being abused by a narc will probably try and change them at first because they care about them. It's a harsh reality to accept that someone you loved didn't/couldn't care about you at all and everything about them was a lie. Once you understand that your partner has a mental illness and is dragging you down with them, to keep your sanity and mental health of course you have to abandon them and rebuild your self esteem. But it's hard to abandon someone you care about because usually the mask does not slip until they have their claws deep into you and by then you are addicted to the roller coaster of the idealization/devaluation cycle. Usually people have to recover from this, usually these people end up in therapy it's not a normal breakup. Already mad at themselves for being naive, missing red flags and putting up with abuse, labeling them narcissists at this point is just cruel and not true. Deceiving themselves? Yes. In denial? Yes. Automatically narcissists? No.

You don't think that a partner of a narc thought that maybe they were the narcissists while their narcs were projecting their mental illness onto them? Of course they did. Yes, a victim can become a narcissist as a defense to the abuse...a terrible nightmare for someone that was born experiencing true empathy, but that's not the same thing as denial, and trying to change your narc. At the point they become self-centered, lose empathy, become abusive and exploitative then they've become a narcissist themselves.

This is my last post in this thread. I'm with blueta on this one. It's depressing to think about!

"Battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss
the abyss gazes into you."

 

[Mr. dB]

Wow, you guys have been watching too much "Criminal Minds".

 

[nangiggles]

lol, bunch of DSM know it all up in here..

 

[cindylou]

lol I've never seen "Criminal Minds". I can't remember for sure but I think Ledhead might actually be a DSM know it all...idk I can't remember. BTW I think they are going to remove that personality disorder from the DSM. It does not matter though. If you have a parent, sibling, spouse or boss with those traits, you're going to be become a know it all real quick just so you can understand how to deal with them.

 

[ledhead]

I agreed with everything you said until I saw your edit. One of the most disturbing parts of NPD that you didn't mention was lack of empathy, and magical thinking...the grandiosity gap between what the narc thinks of himself and his accomplishments and actual reality of who he is/his accomplishments. They might actually feel inferior somewhere deep down but they are usually not introspective enough to realize what is really going on. Someone with narcissistic traits can change someone with NPD can't.

Narcs (people with NPD or a narcissistic personality...not just some narcissistic traits) can't change any more than someone with a handicap can change that they have a handicap, but anyone who is being abused by a narc will probably try and change them at first because they care about them. It's a harsh reality to accept that someone you loved didn't/couldn't care about you at all and everything about them was a lie. Once you understand that your partner has a mental illness and is dragging you down with them, to keep your sanity and mental health of course you have to abandon them and rebuild your self esteem. But it's hard to abandon someone you care about because usually the mask does not slip until they have their claws deep into you and by then you are addicted to the roller coaster of the idealization/devaluation cycle. Usually people have to recover from this, usually these people end up in therapy it's not a normal breakup. Already mad at themselves for being naive, missing red flags and putting up with abuse, labeling them narcissists at this point is just cruel and not true. Deceiving themselves? Yes. In denial? Yes. Automatically narcissists? No.

You don't think that a partner of a narc thought that maybe they were the narcissists while their narcs were projecting their mental illness onto them? Of course they did. Yes, a victim can become a narcissist as a defense to the abuse...a terrible nightmare for someone that was born experiencing true empathy, but that's not the same thing as denial, and trying to change your narc. At the point they become self-centered, lose empathy, become abusive and exploitative then they've become a narcissist themselves.

This is my last post in this thread. I'm with blueta on this one. It's depressing to think about!

"Battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss
the abyss gazes into you."

Actually, I think my definition is better! My definition is concise, precise, and comprehensive. You mixed your emotions with the real definition. Therefore, your definition of NPD is totally exaggerated.. Lol.. you make it sound like you were dating Jack the Ripper. He is not that bad, he is a pathetic piece of trash, but he is not as bad as you think.

Cindy darlin, did I teach you anything?? Apathy versus Empathy, apathy always wins! Selfishness versus Selflessness, selfishness always wins!

You can directly tell me to stfu, no need to indirectly tell me. I can take it, but that does not mean I will listen.

 

[bigpokey]

seflishness always wins? wins what?