On a Serious Note - Please be respectful!

[yonkers weights]

As some of you know my wife donated her liver almost 2 years ago to her father. He had liver cancer and it was spreading fast. He was told he had less then 3 months to live without a transplant. The donor list is very very long and it would of been too late. That's when my fiancee at the time said she would get tested to see if she could be a donor. She passed the test and was able to give him 60% of her liver and save his life! The liver is the only organ in the human body that grows back and made this possible. It was very hard on her and him and the family. She was home and out of work for 2 months and could not do anything around for almost 5-6 months. She had to see the doc every week for a couple of weeks and then every other week, then once a month and now she is clear! She went yesterday and got 100% cleared by her doc. Her father still has to go once a month to get tested and it will be that way for the rest of his life but at least he is alive.

Well over the past 2 years there have been several family fights on her side and for almost a year now they have not spoken. Very sad. They did not even spend the 1 year point from the surgery together, Nov 17th. I want to try to get them back together but it is hard. Her father and mother have been complete asswholes and have been really mean. I don't want to get into it all but how can I try to bring them back together? I hate them but it is her mom and dad and I would hate to have something happen to one of them and her be fighting with them at that time. Ya know, never get to patch things up and say good bye...

So how can I go about this without causing a bigger problem? It seems we all hate each other but I want things to be better for her sake and ours. My wife did not even want to invite them to our wedding but we did and they did not show up. Kind of sucks!

Please be respectful, this is a serious issue.

Thanks

 

[Mr. dB]

Don't try. They'll get back together when they're ready.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Your heart is good and I understand believe me... but Mr DB is right.

The best you can do is support your wife any way you can and listen when she talks.

 

[blueta2]

I would try to offer some advice, but I'm a stupid bitch

 

[nefertiti]

This partially depends on what the fights have been about. Do I remember correctly that you've been lending/giving them large sums of money and this stopped to the anger of the mother?

I don't understand the type of people who would essentially cut their daughter out of their lives for - well - almost any reason, so I'm not sure I can provide insight into how to reach out to them. If you invited them to the wedding and they didn't show, it seems they have no interest in reconciliation right now. You may just have to give it a little more time.

 

[yonkers weights]

I know but I feel so bad for her. We had 2 weddings the last 2 weekends and I see it in her eyes, she almost cries when they do the father daughter dance. I am strong for her but I want to make the pain go away. Ya know?

 

[jackangel]

I would try to offer some advice, but I'm a stupid bitch

shut the hell up you stupid bitch

 

[The Shadow]

My dad and his sister have not spoken for over 5 years.

It is not something you have any control over. Just make sure that the opportunity is thre for them shen they want it. Your woman did the right thing, and sometimes survivor's guilt is sometime the problem in situations such as this.

 

[yonkers weights]

Family BS. The dad lost his job and the mom never worked so they sit home and stir up BS. They suck in a nut shell. They have been fighting with everyone and the whole family, her mom's brothers and sisters turned their back on them too. I don't know if they are well or what their deal is. They just became very negative people. I did give them money several times to help them out at first but they have not done anything on their own and we were paying for our wedding. Ya know. They said they wanted to come but did not. They are such drama fucks. Her mom asked her own brothers and sisters not to go and they all did so she is pissed at them. Like I said it is a whole cluster fuck. I just want to try to be the peace guy in this and help out but it might be way past that point...

This partially depends on what the fights have been about. Do I remember correctly that you've been lending/giving them large sums of money and this stopped to the anger of the mother?

I don't understand the type of people who would essentially cut their daughter out of their lives for - well - almost any reason, so I'm not sure I can provide insight into how to reach out to them. If you invited them to the wedding and they didn't show, it seems they have no interest in reconciliation right now. You may just have to give it a little more time.

 

[myway]

I wouldn't even try it. Right now, I am in the ultimate battle with my parents. I am 6 months pregnant and have not heard from my mom for about 5 months. She said she didn't want to hear from me until I send her a REMORSEFUL appology about bullshit. At first, I almost gave in. That's what everyone does with her. It's the only way to end a fight with her--admit she's mistreated, admit ur dirt and accept the guilt trip. She did this same bullshit with my wedding. All of the attention was focused on me and shefelt left out='d guilt trip. Her best friend was dying with cancer and she threw a fit because people weren't paying enough attention to how helpful my mom was being towards her dying friend. She was pissed for not getting thank you cards from a woman who couldn't get out of bed. All of my relatives are telling me to not give in this time. They say there is no need for me to constantly satisfy her need to feel like a martyr. My hubby is kinda new to the family. Everytime he slightly tries to work the subject of my mom into a conversation, I wanna tell him to go let her cook his dinner.
I wouldn't touch it. Sure, it's a bad sittuation..... but I wouldn't touch it.