I Really Need Chick Advice - Confused as Hell

[NCLifter]

Well I posted this on June 13th:

I broke up with my exgirlfriend six months ago because she lied to me about her past. God I wish I could go back to that day. Tonight she told me she was pregnant with her new boyfriends baby. He is an absolute faggat. I cant believe we are done. I dont know what is wrong with me. I love her so much I cannot believe I will never be with her again. I cannot imagine ever feeling good again. Please help me. What can I do to ever feel okay again? I fucked up sp bad.
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I cant stop remembering the good times we had. Her Dad did a number on her and it fucked her up as far as her sexual problems with men. I couldnt take it. Now I wish I did. If you have a girl you love, dont fuck it up like I did. Think twice before you do something dumb. I wish I did.
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Yeah its out of my hands now. Her boyfriend better not hut her or I will rip his fucking head off. I hope she is happy now. God I love her.
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Last Sept, that piece of shit mutherfucker took off and left her. When I found out about it, I talked to her Mom and her mom said not to call her because she didnt need more stress. I totally understood and didnt call her until she had her baby in December.

I've been hanging out with her and her little girl for the past 6 months. We get along fine, since because we are only friends, she doesnt care about me juicing or partying. Every once in a while, we get into an argument over something and we wont talk for a few weeks, but its nothing big.

I love her and her daughter to death, but I'm afraid to get back together with her because I dont want to lose her again. I'd rather keep things like they are and be stay friends.

We used to fight over juice and other stupid shit. And when we fought, we fuckin went at it. We were both pretty fucked up at the time.

Now, I hardly ever party but I still juice. I just dont want to tell her I'll never roll again, and then 6 months from now, want to go out with my friends and the shit hit the fan again. The juice thing is just a difference of opinion.

I'm happy now just to hang out and watch tv with her, since I didnt even talk to her for 6 months. She wont sleep with me because she said I cant have it both ways, which sucks becasue she is fuckin smokin.

I want to be with her but my number one concern is that we will fight like before and I'll lose her, and now her daughter, again. I'm also afraid of not being able to support her daughter. I've got one year of college left and I'm afraid once I graduate, I wont be able to give her the best things possible. But I want to be with her and I'm not sure if I should say fuck it, quit everything, and be with her. Only then I may end up being with her but being unhappy with myself.

I have no clue what I should do.

 

[velvett]

What you're feeling is the ache of not being a part of *a whole* so to speak. That's not to take anything away from your ex or your relationship with her, it's just to say that the way you're feeling right now will go away.

Hang in there and just cherish the fond memories you have but try not to drove in what was verses what will become.




The heart can be most flexible - so just wait and see what the future may bring to you.

 

[NCLifter]

What you're feeling is the ache of not being a part of *a whole* so to speak. That's not to take anything away from your ex or your relationship with her, it's just to say that the way you're feeling right now will go away.

Hang in there and just cherish the fond memories you have but try not to drove in what was verses what will become.




The heart can be most flexible - so just wait and see what the future may bring to you.

Sorry, bro. I hadnt finished the post and posted it on accident.

 

[velvett]

I never thought being called bro would feeling so cozy...........
teehee cool.




Wow, nice story.


Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders so why don't you remains friends and see how you grow together. Then, when and if you are both comfortable with the idea try going out on a date together. Make it kinda like the first date all over again, take it real slow and try and get to know each as you are now verses as whom you were then. Who knows it may just work.




You remind me of a good guy friend of mine.........



btw, he married the one that got away under very similiar circumstances - so it can happen.


GOOD LUCK

 

[danielson]

I never thought being called bro would feeling so cozy...........
teehee cool.

here;s how i see it (im a glass half empty type of guy im afraid)

-she left you and went with a punk

-he got her pregnant and then left her

-she then came to you seeking sympathy

-she now wants to get in a relationship with you (witholding sex is fair enough but might be a sign of this)

-you havent even finished college yet and may be thrust nto a fmaily type situation




i would SLOW it down.....be friendly with her, help her as a friend but dont get emotionally attached to her as why wouldnt she do the same thing again. if you do truly feel she is 'the one' then take things REAL slow and dont let yourself get into the position where 2 weeks before your final exams your whole world comes crashing down because of some bitch

ive been there and if you're not lucky you could screw the rest of your life up

 

[Burning_Inside]

Well I posted this on June 13th:

I broke up with my exgirlfriend six months ago because she lied to me about her past. God I wish I could go back to that day. Tonight she ...................

Kill her, of course.

 

[NCLifter]

I never thought being called bro would feeling so cozy...........
teehee cool.




Wow, nice story.


Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders so why don't you remains friends and see how you grow together. Then, when and if you are both comfortable with the idea try going out on a date together. Make it kinda like the first date all over again, take it real slow and try and get to know each as you are now verses as whom you were then. Who knows it may just work.




You remind me of a good guy friend of mine.........



btw, he married the one that got away under very similiar circumstances - so it can happen.


GOOD LUCK

Yeah, its great because if we get in a argument about anything, we just dont talk for a while, but when we do again, its no big deal. I think taking is slow is the best thing.

Thanks, sis


danielson,

I wish she left me and went out with a punk, but I broke it off with her even when she was cryin for hours about how bad she wanted us to be together.

She isnt holding out so that she can get in a relationship. She would have done that before, but now she wont compromise anything because of her daughter, which is great.

I agree about letting some bitch screw up your life, but I know the only way things could get fucked up would be if I caused it by getting in too deep, too fast, again.

You are right, slow is the best. You can always go forward, but you cant go back.

Thanks, bros and sistas!

 

[NCLifter]

another thing...

I always wished I could do something to help the negative impact her father had on her. He totally neglected her and it fucked her up bad. Now I see her little girl in the same position she was in, and I could make sure that she would never go through the same pain that her mom went through. She even bursts into tears any time she talks about her daughter having to go through what she did. That breaks my heart like nothing else.


As crazy as that sounds, its absolutely true.

 

[Boach]

I have learned one thing in life, if not anything else...There is more than one true love in peoples' lives.

Think long and hard if you want to get involved with a woman who has someone else's baby. Better yet, imagine those two bumping ugly.

If you can get beyond this, also consider what it will take, raising up a child. If you get too involved, you might get obligated to financially support the girl and her baby. How will this effect your future, goals, dreams, etc.?

Finally, are you sure you're willing to make a committment so young in your life. Believe me, i've been engaged and I'm now single. It's so damn hard to tell where you're going to be in 10 years....Hell, even one year. Why do you think leasing cars is so popular? Because people are unsure of where they'll be and their needs change.

Life is filled with many difficult choices. If you're religious, pray for some help and have faith that you'll have the sense to follow the right bath during this fork in the road. Either way, best of luck.

 

[Boach]

BTW: just because you care about this girl and she has a fucked up past, doesn't mean you have to be the saving grace for her baby. You have to look out for numero uno...i.e., you!