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Your s/o is a cheater....

jstmitebe said:
do you stay with them or do you tell them to pack your shit!!
i had to pack my shit and get out...when i found out, i lost my mind....never so heartbroken in my life....i never looked at her the same-to this day...tragic.
 
Meantime1 said:
But i bet if it was the other way round, you would want her to consider and take you back :rolleyes:
no, not really. once you hurt someone that much, the magic that you try to keep alive with your partner for the next half century withers. of course it would depend on the situation ie old girlfriend of many years comes back that i have feelings for, while the new relationship is still in its formative stages, and im torn - in that case, it would depend on how much potential the new relationship has and exactly why i got back with the ex...but for the most part, cheating rocks a relationships foundations too deep to be glossed over. if its a straight out affair from a S.O of many years, well then the cheating party is just not trustworthy...but if you cheat, theres a 90% chance the damage is irreperable, end of story.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
no, not really. once you hurt someone that much, the magic that you try to keep alive with your partner for the next half century withers. of course it would depend on the situation ie old girlfriend of many years comes back that i have feelings for, while the new relationship is still in its formative stages, and im torn - in that case, it would depend on how much potential the new relationship has and exactly why i got back with the ex...but for the most part, cheating rocks a relationships foundations too deep to be glossed over. if its a straight out affair from a S.O of many years, well then the cheating party is just not trustworthy...but if you cheat, theres a 90% chance the damage is irreperable, end of story.


I read your post and i understand it
WELL it is not that simple, people cheat for different reasons, But i do believe if there is a problem in your relationship, people should talk about it, than rather resulting to cheating or seeking comfort else where,

That saying once a cheater always a cheater is a pile of bullshit, I know soo many who have cheated on their partners, been dumped and learned from their mistakes and vow never do that again to themselves or the people they love

YOUR PAST IS NOT YOUR POTENTIAL - REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE - AND EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, BUT YOUR MISTAKE - Does NOT defined who you are, what the defined's you is how high you rise after falling
 
Meantime1 said:
WELL it is not that simple, people cheat for different reasons

That's a load of shit. It all boils down to the same reason—they're a selfish piece of shit who didn't care about the other person.
 
Meantime1 said:
I read your post and i understand it
WELL it is not that simple, people cheat for different reasons, But i do believe if there is a problem in your relationship, people should talk about it, than rather resulting to cheating or seeking comfort else where,

That saying once a cheater always a cheater is a pile of bullshit, I know soo many who have cheated on their partners, been dumped and learned from their mistakes and vow never do that again to themselves or the people they love

YOUR PAST IS NOT YOUR POTENTIAL - REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE - AND EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, BUT YOUR MISTAKE - Does NOT defined who you are, what the defined's you is how high you rise after falling


You keep saying that, but the reality is that many people, when the relationship gets hard or turns unhappy, look for comfort elsewhere rather than deal with the problem as a couple. For many people cheating is the easier route to feeling better, and in today's instant gratification society it happens alot. Hence the high rate of divorce: people would rather leave and move on than stay and work on the relationship, because moving on seems easier. Of course, avoiding the problem is no real solution in the long run; you learn nothing.

People who cheat once tend to always cheat when faced with relationship difficulties simply because they don't know how to deal with real problems in a relationship. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" does have a ring of truth to it, like it or not.
 
From Zero said:
That's a load of shit. It all boils down to the same reason—they're a selfish piece of shit who didn't care about the other person.[/QUOTE


Interesting Zero
OUT of my sentenses you single out that line, did u read what i wrote after it, well LET ME HELP YOU OUT

WELL it is not that simple, people cheat for different reasons, But i do believe if there is a problem in your relationship, people should talk about it, than rather resulting to cheating or seeking comfort else where,
 
Also, should this SO still be kept for whatever reasons, I suspect that the dynamics and the nature of the relationship would have a different face - may be you'll see your SO as more of a sex object as supposed to a love object.

I do know a few individuals who fit this situation.
 
Forge said:
You keep saying that, but the reality is that many people, when the relationship gets hard or turns unhappy, look for comfort elsewhere rather than deal with the problem as a couple. For many people cheating is the easier route to feeling better, and in today's instant gratification society it happens alot. Hence the high rate of divorce: people would rather leave and move on than stay and work on the relationship, because moving on seems easier. Of course, avoiding the problem is no real solution in the long run; you learn nothing.

People who cheat once tend to always cheat when faced with relationship difficulties simply because they don't know how to deal with real problems in a relationship. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" does have a ring of truth to it, like it or not.

I have to agree with this statement....

My exhusband cheated on me for months with a coworker....... said our probs were my fault & insisted on counseling -- cheating all the while!! We separated, then divorced & he ended up marrying her.......

The only thing I wish is that since she was seen over my house repeatedly by neighbors, etc I wish someone had told me!! :mad:
 
Forge said:
You keep saying that, but the reality is that many people, when the relationship gets hard or turns unhappy, look for comfort elsewhere rather than deal with the problem as a couple. For many people cheating is the easier route to feeling better, and in today's instant gratification society it happens alot. Hence the high rate of divorce: people would rather leave and move on than stay and work on the relationship, because moving on seems easier. Of course, avoiding the problem is no real solution in the long run; you learn nothing.

People who cheat once tend to always cheat when faced with relationship difficulties simply because they don't know how to deal with real problems in a relationship. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" does have a ring of truth to it, like it or not.


YOU GIVE A VERY VERY VALID POINT and this is a very good DEBATE and i understand where u are coming from, in todays society is is SOOOOOO much easier to walk away, than stay and make it work, walking away for me only show's your character and tells me that they dont have the emotional maturity to make a relationship walk, MY EX WALKED AWAY when things got rough and funny, 5 relationships later , his still walking away.

Now as for cheating, lets face it we are all humans and some, NOT ALL but some make mistakes, BUT i DONT believe just because u cheat once u will do it again, My 1st ever BF, cheated on his 1st ever bf, and got dumpped, when he got together with me he made a vow, NEVER do that to himself again and the person he loved and GUESS WHAT NOT once did he brake that vow,

WE as a society are very quick to conderm people, JUST REMEMBER YOUR PAST is NOT your Potential, Just because someone is a fuckup DOES NOT MEAN they will be a FUCKUP for the rest of their lifes, SOMETIMES SOME PEOPLE need to cross that grass just to see if it is greener on the other side, and many NOT ALL, but MANY learn from their mistakes

That saying once a cheater always a cheater is a pile of bullshit,
 
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