Ylifter A Question about the Raising Of Your Daughter

[curling]

I am at a dilema. My daughter turns 18 this Thursday and she wants to go clubbing with some friends. I understand she is 18 and wants to exercise the freedom of being able to go clubbing but man I know the hds that go to clubs and what they want. I am also worried about date rape drugs slipped into her drinks when she is not looking and I am worried about weirdo older dudes following them to their cars when they leave and I am worried about the drunks that will be driving beside them on the highway on the way home. Basically I am pretty worried about the whole thing.

ARe you going to let your daughter go to club when she turns 18?

 

[Delinquent]

She's legal now eh? Guys have been counting down the days the same way they were with the Olson Twins

 

[big4life]

Look at it this way, would you rather know where she is going, or not know? If her friends are going, then she will go, with or without your permission. Just make sure that she knows how to be safe.

 

[from zero]

What big4life said.

Let her go bor. Just talk to her, and again, what big4life said, make sure she knows how to be safe.

 

[curling]

Look at it this way, would you rather know where she is going, or not know? If her friends are going, then she will go, with or without your permission. Just make sure that she knows how to be safe.

So you would let your daughter go out?

 

[Werd]

No offense curling, but at 18 there isn't much you can do about "allowing".

Teach her to take care of herself properly and trust her to follow that advice.

 

[gonelifting]

It does`nt start now bro. I hope and I`m sure you HAVE BEEN talking to her already for years about how to handle herself. If you did it right, you have a good chance that she`ll listen and not get into too much trouble.

 

[curling]

No offense curling, but at 18 there isn't much you can do about "allowing".

Teach her to take care of herself properly and trust her to follow that advice.

That is sorta of true what you said other than she is still lives under my roof(did I just say that? Oh my gosh) I sound like my dad. How do you make the wide eyed smiley?

 

[ChefWide]

So you would let your daughter go out?

You don't have a choice. All your hard work with her for all these years comes into play right NOW.

You can't stop it, you can only hope she learned from her dad.

Or in your case, you can hope she ignored most of what you had to say. Then she should be fine.






















j/k curly, she will go, today, tommorrow, the next year. You can't stop it. Just let her know you are on her side and there for her.... actually, if she doesn't know that by now, your fucked.

 

[Werd]

That is sorta of true what you said other than she is still lives under my roof(did I just say that? Oh my gosh) I sound like my dad. How do you make the wide eyed smiley?

Stating that there are rules that must be followed is one thing but pulling this out just to keep someone "home" is silly (unless we are talking the loss of a privilige for unacceptable behavior.)

In my home there is one major rule that is NEVER allowed to be violated (all the rules apply to me as well) and that is:

RESPECT .

 

[curling]

You don't have a choice. All your hard work with her for all these years comes into play right NOW.

You can't stop it, you can only hope she learned from her dad.

Or in your case, you can hope she ignored most of what you had to say. Then she should be fine.

LOL. Are you going to let yours go out?

 

[Werd]

LOL. Are you going to let yours go out?

Curling I have SEVERAL daughters... and I DO let them go out w/their friends as long as I know who they are with.

 

[mdd]

she have any good guy friends? have them go along too if your so worried

theres lots of 18 yo clubs for chicks here, for the most part they are super strict on the drinking so you should be ok

 

[big4life]

LOL. Are you going to let yours go out?

It's not a matter of "letting" her go out, she's 18. If her friends are there then she will be there. You can still have rules for her, but you have to realize that she's growing up, and let her learn from her actions. There are no guarantees in life. Yes something could happen at a club, but something could happen at a store, school, or anywhere. If she is prepared for it, then hopefully she be able to deal with it.

 

[curling]

It's not a matter of "letting" her go out, she's 18. If her friends are there then she will be there. You can still have rules for her, but you have to realize that she's growing up, and let her learn from her actions. There are no guarantees in life. Yes something could happen at a club, but something could happen at a store, school, or anywhere. If she is prepared for it, then hopefully she be able to deal with it.

Ahhh the agony of being a dad. That old saying is true all the things you made your parents go through are going to come back and hunt you when you are a parent.

 

[ChefWide]

LOL. Are you going to let yours go out?

I have three boys. The oldest is 10. Call me in 8 years.

 

[Werd]

And a mother doesn't worry?

HELLO! WE WERE YOUNG FEMALES ONCE TOO.... Amazing... men think they now corner the market on worrying about the well-being of their children.

 

[curling]

And a mother doesn't worry?

HELLO! WE WERE YOUNG FEMALES ONCE TOO.... Amazing... men think they now corner the market on worrying about the well-being of their children.

Touche.

 

[havoc]

Do you have any pics of your daughter Curling?

That's great that she is 18, you guys are in Texas right?

NON-PLATINUM MEMBER

 

[curling]

Do you have any pics of your daughter Curling?

That's great that she is 18, you guys are in Texas right?

NON-PLATINUM MEMBER

She's really ugly. A real bow wow.

 

[Werd]

Do you have any pics of your daughter Curling?

That's great that she is 18, you guys are in Texas right?

NON-PLATINUM MEMBER

LOL@Havoc

 

[Y_lifter]

curling, Yes I would let her go out because I trust that I and her mother have
done all we can do to teach her the ways of the world before she is 18..

I'd hope she understands that:

Drinking and driving are a NEVER
Stay with her friends so they can watch out for each other. Never go alone
Never leave her drink on the table when she leaves it and never accept one from someone.

At 12, we are starting to LET her make simple easy mistakes that won't really hurt.
This way, by the time she is 18 and in the position to make BIG mistakes that would be more impacting on her life, she will have made many small ones and learned something ..

I don't envy your position and understand your concern. Every parent that gives a damn goes thru this so at least you aren't the first.

If this is the first time she has gone to a party with potential for bad things to happen, just go over a few reminders such as what I put above.

Then let her go, telling her that if she needs you when she's out and about, to
never hesitate to call you no matter what..

 

[curling]

curling, Yes I would let her go out because I trust that I and her mother have
done all we can do to teach her the ways of the world before she is 18..

I'd hope she understands that:

Drinking and driving are a NEVER
Stay with her friends so they can watch out for each other. Never go alone
Never leave her drink on the table when she leaves it and never accept one from someone.

At 12, we are starting to LET her make simple easy mistakes that won't really hurt.
This way, by the time she is 18 and in the position to make BIG mistakes that would be more impacting on her life, she will have made many small ones and learned something ..

I don't envy your position and understand your concern. Every parent that gives a damn goes thru this so at least you aren't the first.

If this is the first time she has gone to a party with potential for bad things to happen, just go over a few reminders such as what I put above.

Then let her go, telling her that if she needs you when she's out and about, to
never hesitate to call you no matter what..

Thanks. I have gone over already the things you mentioned. But it is still weird with all the hds at the clubs. I have an angle though. Just had lunch with my 19 year old nephew today and for some reason he might be going to the same night club that my daughter and her friends are going to.

 

[Robert Jan]

curling if you are worried about these things banning her from the club is not the best thing to do at all. Warn her not to leave her drink unattended, sure.

As for having sex with somebody she meets, She's going to have sex sooner or later and she most likely already has. In fact, she probably enjoyed it a lot and initiated it herself.

Don't fight her natural development, it will be countereffective. At best you can help steer it in the right (safe, friendly, positive, honest) direction.

Just tell her two things, many guys are willing to lie to make you want to have sex with them, and some guys try to give you drugs that will make you want to have sex with them. She will of course say dad stfu I know all about guys. Don't argue with this. Just say ok just making sure, because I love you.

Dont become angry. Then she'll fuck Martinez with the twitch and the bouncing VW Golf if only to get back at you and prove that she is an individual.

If you believe for instance, that sex before marriage is evil, or that sex with somebody you do not have a long term emotional relationship with is evil, and you want your daughter to not do these things, you should have raised her in such a way, that SHE does not want to. If you are a Catholic you know Wanting to commit a mortal sin is a mortal sin in itself. You are not saving her by forcefully keeping her from things.

 

[Robert Jan]

bump

 

[Raina]

At least for me, turning 18 didn't mean much when I lived at home because house rules stuck regardless of age. But they were fairly lax on what I wanted to do as long as they knew who I was with, where I was going, and when I'd be home. Ultimately they trusted me (with good reasons though as I stayed out of trouble).

Honestly, if she wants to go out that's probably her call. Warn her about watching her drinks when she's out. Warn her to stick with her friends. Let her know that if at any point in the evening she's uncomfy, she can call you and you'll go get her. I think if you do that and express your concerns (you're a dad-- it's your job to worry) she'll probably be happy and you'll at least feel like you spoke your mind.

 

[Robert Jan]

I was never under much rule but then again im a guy

my sister never was either. well my parents tried but gave up. my sister is stubborn and intelligent and inquisitive its hard to hold her back

she slept around in HS well not really with people from her school that much but with guys during that time. Now she is in her early 20s and has a very serious long term relationship. Its only a matter of time and like when you try what- in a way its made her mature faster. she never compromised school either shes set to complete law school now

 

[curling]

Thanks for all the advice that ya'll all gave. Today she is 18 wow I feel old. I am taking her to a biker rally this weekend with a couple of other biker friends and their daughters. Me and my wife decided to let her go but she has to be home by 1:30. I had lunch with my 19 year old nephew yesterday. For some reason he will be going out tonight to keep an eye on her.

 

[Robert Jan]

1:30... I was staying out till 4 when I was 14

She is totally going to complain

Dad most people dont even come in until 1:30 the Dj is just warming up until then

Dad all my friends can stay till 4

Dad.......

 

[curling]

1:30... I was staying out till 4 when I was 14

She is totally going to complain

Dad most people dont even come in until 1:30 the Dj is just warming up until then

Dad all my friends can stay till 4

Dad.......[/QUOTE

Dad : Daughter see this thing that goes through the loops on my pants?

Daughter: Yes daddy. I will be home at 1:30.

 

[Y_lifter]

Dad : Daughter see this thing that goes through the loops on my pants?

Daughter: Yes daddy. I will be home at 1:30.

Dude !

You can't be serious ?

 

[Robert Jan]

different strokes for different folks

jeje
double pun

Who said white men dont have rhythm?
Slash! SLASH! Slash! SLASH!

 

[IvanOffelitch]

Dude !

You can't be serious ?

Sadly, I think he is.

Curling, it's way too late for that approach. As others have said, all a parent can do at this point is pray that over the last 18 years, you've pointed her in the right direction. In your case, I'd be praying 24/7

 

[curling]

Sadly, I think he is.

Curling, it's way too late for that approach. As others have said, all a parent can do at this point is pray that over the last 18 years, you've pointed her in the right direction. In your case, I'd be praying 24/7

I am serious that I might say that but I wouldn't whip her. I would just ground her. She just knows not to back talk me when I say something like that.