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covergrl80
New member
I did a copy and paste. However this one was great and I had to share it.
>In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
United
>States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
overpopulated
>and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save
two of
>every living thing along with a few good humans."
>
>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the
Ark
>before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard.... but no ark.
>"Noah," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
>
>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
>building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
for a sprinkler
>system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning
laws by
>building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
>
>We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the
>Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future
costs
>of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
passage for the
>Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us,
but they
>would hear nothing of it.
>
>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in
>order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that
>I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!
>
>When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights
group.
>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As
well,
>they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it
>was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
>
>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
conducted
>an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying
to
>resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many
minorities
>I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>
>Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
hire
>only Union workers with Ark building experience. To make matters
worse, the
>IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country
illegally
>with endangered species.
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to
finish
>this Ark."
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched
>across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're
not
>going to destroy the world?".
>
>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
>In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
United
>States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
overpopulated
>and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save
two of
>every living thing along with a few good humans."
>
>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the
Ark
>before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard.... but no ark.
>"Noah," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
>
>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
>building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
for a sprinkler
>system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning
laws by
>building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.
>
>We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the
>Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future
costs
>of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
passage for the
>Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us,
but they
>would hear nothing of it.
>
>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in
>order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that
>I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!
>
>When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights
group.
>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As
well,
>they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it
>was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
>
>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
conducted
>an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying
to
>resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many
minorities
>I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>
>Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to
hire
>only Union workers with Ark building experience. To make matters
worse, the
>IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country
illegally
>with endangered species.
>
>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to
finish
>this Ark."
>
>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched
>across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're
not
>going to destroy the world?".
>
>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
