- Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
- The Great Wall of China was originally made to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed horribly.
- when chuck norris jumps into water, chuch norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck norris
- If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you could be seconds away from death.
- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
- Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
- Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
- The bomb dropped on hiroshima was just a metal case containing one of chuck norris' farts
- Chuck Norris has never appeared in a video game because there would be no challenge
- Chuck Norris beat Tetris with his left hand at the same time he beat packman with his right