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Woe is me...
- Thread starter LiLady11
- Start date
smallmovesal
New member
i made a thread you can post on if your name isn't homer
bigschweeler
New member
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The placement of the dirt bag.
Where do pirates go to have their taxes prepared?
H and RRRR Block.
Sorry best I could do at the moment.
The placement of the dirt bag.
Where do pirates go to have their taxes prepared?
H and RRRR Block.
Sorry best I could do at the moment.
the nature boy
New member
what's the differnce between a porcupine and a BMW?
in a BMW the prick is on the inside.
if that didn't work, listen to sir mix alot. That has to work!!
in a BMW the prick is on the inside.
if that didn't work, listen to sir mix alot. That has to work!!
fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
SEND ME SOME NUDES, THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!
TheProject
New member
bigschweeler said:
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?
It's rated RRRRR
polarpixie
New member
HAHAHAHAHHA!!! Lilady I hope these guys made you laugh, because they are so cheesy they've made ME laugh.
I hate terrible days...
Did I ever tell you what a cute little tushie you have darlin'??? I hope whatever it is that is bothering you goes away by the end of the day.
I hate terrible days...
Did I ever tell you what a cute little tushie you have darlin'???
I hope whatever it is that is bothering you goes away by the end of the day.
LiLady11 said:I'm having an absolute terrible day... to begin to tell you all will just make me teary again
Please someone cheer me up, I need it very much at the moment...
If a certain someone wants to send me a hiney pic, that is okay by me!!
certain someone huh? who would that be?
pushing_fe
New member
Lilady, remeber no matter how hard a day you had you just got to hang tough!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(Rap) Just get on the floor and do the New Kids' dance.
Don't worry 'bout nothing 'cause it won't take long.
(Rap) We're gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, 'cause you gotta be
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) We're rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybody's always talkin' 'bout who's on top.
(Rap) Don't cross our path 'cause you're gonna get stomped.
We ain't gonna give anybody any slack.
(Rap) And if you try to keep us down we're gonna come right back,
and you know we're
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) Are you tough enough?
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) We're rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Get loose everybody 'cause we're gonna do our thing.
(Rap) 'Cause you know it ain't over 'till the fat lady sings.
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) Are you tough enough?
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) We're rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just hangin' tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin' tough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance.
(Rap) Just get on the floor and do the New Kids' dance.
Don't worry 'bout nothing 'cause it won't take long.
(Rap) We're gonna put you in a trance with a funky song, 'cause you gotta be
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) We're rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybody's always talkin' 'bout who's on top.
(Rap) Don't cross our path 'cause you're gonna get stomped.
We ain't gonna give anybody any slack.
(Rap) And if you try to keep us down we're gonna come right back,
and you know we're
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) Are you tough enough?
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) We're rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Get loose everybody 'cause we're gonna do our thing.
(Rap) 'Cause you know it ain't over 'till the fat lady sings.
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) Are you tough enough?
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap) We're rough.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just hangin' tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin' tough.
vinylgroover
New member
Hey Lilady,
Tried to PM you but your box is full.....so to speak.
Tried to PM you but your box is full.....so to speak.
the nature boy
New member
hey lilady, if you're still bummed out read this thread, it might help. or make you ill. or both.
http://209.11.101.244/forum/showthread.php?threadid=141788
http://209.11.101.244/forum/showthread.php?threadid=141788
Freak Show
New member
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
about 45 lbs.
At times like this in my life, I always like to remind myself how lucky I am not to be The Nature Boy. You should too. If that doesn't make you feel better, there's always Lithium.
about 45 lbs.
At times like this in my life, I always like to remind myself how lucky I am not to be The Nature Boy. You should too. If that doesn't make you feel better, there's always Lithium.
the nature boy
New member
wow you must be really down lilady. I'm sorry. been there done that.
TheProject
New member
What do you call a fish with two knees?
A twokneefish!
this is the bad joke thread, right?
A twokneefish!
this is the bad joke thread, right?
the nature boy
New member
TheProject said:
*sound of dead silence with an occasional cricket chirping*
polarpixie
New member
How about some laughter at other people's expense?
Embarassing moments:
JOKE TURNS UGLY
Blush Scale Rating: Four (out of five) degrees of crimson
I had driven seven hours to meet my boyfriend's family for the first time and was so nervous. It was New Year's Eve, and we were all sitting around, drinking beer and telling yo-mama jokes. The fellow before me said, "Yo mama's glasses are so thick that she looks at a map and sees people waving." Everyone just died laughing. It was my turn. I said, "Yo mama is so tacky that she wears a wig with a chin strap." The room was dead silent. I later found out that his mother wears a wig. We have since married, but I will never be a favorite daughter-in-law.
SLIP OF THE SAUSAGE
Blush Scale Rating: Three (out of five) degrees of crimson
My husband was at his office Christmas party; the guest speaker was our local congressman, who happens to be one of the first Democrats to call for President Clinton's removal from office. Well, my husband was cutting a piece of sausage, and just as the Congressman walked by, the sausage flew off my husband's plate and fell at the Congressman's feet. He said, "Well, I've had a lot of things thrown at me, but never a sausage."
I cracked up and thought about Clinton and Monica. My husband wanted to say, "Oh you're not a sausage man?" but I think he was too embarrassed.
Embarassing moments:
JOKE TURNS UGLY
Blush Scale Rating: Four (out of five) degrees of crimson
I had driven seven hours to meet my boyfriend's family for the first time and was so nervous. It was New Year's Eve, and we were all sitting around, drinking beer and telling yo-mama jokes. The fellow before me said, "Yo mama's glasses are so thick that she looks at a map and sees people waving." Everyone just died laughing. It was my turn. I said, "Yo mama is so tacky that she wears a wig with a chin strap." The room was dead silent. I later found out that his mother wears a wig. We have since married, but I will never be a favorite daughter-in-law.
SLIP OF THE SAUSAGE
Blush Scale Rating: Three (out of five) degrees of crimson
My husband was at his office Christmas party; the guest speaker was our local congressman, who happens to be one of the first Democrats to call for President Clinton's removal from office. Well, my husband was cutting a piece of sausage, and just as the Congressman walked by, the sausage flew off my husband's plate and fell at the Congressman's feet. He said, "Well, I've had a lot of things thrown at me, but never a sausage."
I cracked up and thought about Clinton and Monica. My husband wanted to say, "Oh you're not a sausage man?" but I think he was too embarrassed.
My terrible day has continued!! Due to fucked up events, I was awoken at 7 in the morning and asked to come in to work this morning to cover for my stupid assitant manager. I wasn't supposed to be in till 12, and instead did 9:20 till 6!! I felt like hell all day, tired as all hell... and now I have a headache!! I am extremely cranky
BAH!!
BAH!!
Tha One CrumCake
New member
Did you hear about that new pirate movie that's coming out?
I heard it's rated AAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I heard it's rated AAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Tha One CrumCake
New member
What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?
ROBERTO!!!!!!!!!
ROBERTO!!!!!!!!!
TheProject
New member
Tha One CrumCake said:
Hey hey hey! No stealing my material!
Tha One CrumCake
New member
TheProject said:
Hey hey hey! No stealing my material!
My apologies, My selfish ass just scrolled the fuck down, not giving a fuck about what anyone else had to say, with the only purpose of getting my jokes out.
TheProject
New member
Tha One CrumCake said:
Hey, it's okay; that's a good enough joke to tell twice, I think.
Can I tell my Helen Keller jokes, or will that get me in trouble?
well, my boobs did for you...
TheProject
New member
In the spirit of those no longer with us, and bad pirate jokes...
MrMuscle said:
totally respectable wagon.
I'd hit itMrMuscle said:
jnevin
New member
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits was that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that read, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said,"He mated 50 times last year."
They walked a little bit further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said,"That's more than twice a week! You could learn alot from him."
They walked a bit further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying,"This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said,"That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from that one!"
The husband looked at her and said,"Fine..... go up and ask him if it was with the same cow every damn time!!!"
They walked a little bit further and saw another pen with a sign that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hit her husband and said,"That's more than twice a week! You could learn alot from him."
They walked a bit further and a third pen had a bull with a sign saying,"This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife got really excited and said,"That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from that one!"
The husband looked at her and said,"Fine..... go up and ask him if it was with the same cow every damn time!!!"
Lets see it sweet cheeks.Austin316 said:
teaseAustin316 said:
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