So it went well. The attorney basically looked at me like "the fuck have you waited so long to do this?" when I broke it all down for her. I'm basically looking at mediation instead of court and primary (sole) custody if things stay the same as they already are. If the ex doesn't agree to the terms she said I have enough ammo between what I've documented and the fact that her mom and sister will be on my side as character witnesses that I could basically take my daughter from her and only give her every other weekend.
She's also going to charge me half of what her normal retainer is because it looks like such an easy case. But I'm still poor.