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Why do we care what others think?
- Thread starter blueta2
- Start date
vixensghost
New member
Who cares? I could care less what people think of me- really!
needtogetarmy
CEO of Project Mayhem
I don't care what others think.
vixensghost
New member
blueta2 said:
Yeah, I pretty much have always been the type of person who marched to the beat of her own drum. I find if I can please myself, the rest follows. Make sense?
Samooth...(-) this much
split endz
New member
blueta2 said:
Yeah, and they spank off in front of each other
DannoMight
New member
its why women wear makeup and get bob jobs while some men bang some juicy juice. You may say its cause the person may be insecure but deep down its to impress others.
blueta2
New member
dannomight said:
True and yet I barely wear make up or care about how small my boobs are, I care more about looking vulnerable.
I have some insecurities, but not the kind where I worry if other people are wondering if I'm wearing designer labels or if my earings are real diamonds etc.
blueta2
New member
vixensghost said:Yeah, I pretty much have always been the type of person who marched to the beat of her own drum. I find if I can please myself, the rest follows. Make sense?
Samooth...(-) this much
makes sense...my Mom is like that. I've never been a follower and march to my own beat, but I have this thing where it's important to me that others don't think less of me. Like let's say my neighbors see I'm not working, I want to make sure they know I'm not lazy but that I'm home sick.
Like why the hell should it matter what they think?
vixensghost
New member
blueta2 said:
I have three very close neighbors that live around me. We do things to help each other when it's needed. It's kinda nice in this day and age, since I always hear that people do not "neighbor" anymore due to time constraints.
If you lived near me, I'd come over with some chicken soup and kick your ass for smoking! I'm not liking this smoking shit, and since you care what other's think- STOP SMOKING-LOL
calveless wonder
New member
2 reasons, really.
1.) Every single one of us...i don't care who you are, wants approval in one form or another. Some go out of their way or change their behavior moreso than others in order to do so. I used to be approval seeking..was really(sometimes overly) nice, warm and charismatic but i would get shit on. Now i just accept that i'm a good person and that in itself will shine through..although my unfiltered style can sometimes rub people the wrong way or be too harsh.
2.) Some people don't want to hurt others feelings or offend people(out of compassion)....and therefore we're more careful about what we say and do, even though we may be thinking differently. IMHO, that's pointless. because you're just disguising the fact you're a certain way or feel a certain way. you're not being real with yourself. there's a balance where you can be who you are, be a good person and live your life without harming others (deliberately). some people are just real sensitive and will get offended no matter what
1.) Every single one of us...i don't care who you are, wants approval in one form or another. Some go out of their way or change their behavior moreso than others in order to do so. I used to be approval seeking..was really(sometimes overly) nice, warm and charismatic but i would get shit on. Now i just accept that i'm a good person and that in itself will shine through..although my unfiltered style can sometimes rub people the wrong way or be too harsh.
2.) Some people don't want to hurt others feelings or offend people(out of compassion)....and therefore we're more careful about what we say and do, even though we may be thinking differently. IMHO, that's pointless. because you're just disguising the fact you're a certain way or feel a certain way. you're not being real with yourself. there's a balance where you can be who you are, be a good person and live your life without harming others (deliberately). some people are just real sensitive and will get offended no matter what
vixensghost
New member
calveless wonder said:
Approval from who? Who better than ourselves can judge us?
calveless wonder
New member
another one
3.) we need others to go places in life. you can't do shit in this world without contacts, friends, networking/connections.
as much as the "look after yourself" mentality can be glorified, it never gets you truly anywhere unless you're adding value to another person's life in some way.
as i said, the way you go about this is what's really important. You can do this without really caring what others think, and long as you have a good belief system
3.) we need others to go places in life. you can't do shit in this world without contacts, friends, networking/connections.
as much as the "look after yourself" mentality can be glorified, it never gets you truly anywhere unless you're adding value to another person's life in some way.
as i said, the way you go about this is what's really important. You can do this without really caring what others think, and long as you have a good belief system
blueta2
New member
vixensghost said:I have three very close neighbors that live around me. We do things to help each other when it's needed. It's kinda nice in this day and age, since I always hear that people do not "neighbor" anymore due to time contraints.
If you lived near me, I'd come over with some chicken soup and kick your ass for smoking! I'm not liking this smoking shit, and since you care what other's think- STOP SMOKING-LOL
Two of my neighbors are my friends. One I help b/c her husband died of cancer last yr and she is severely disabled. I do errands for her and take her places (when I can), so there is that help with neighbors here, but there are others that are so nosey and I hate when they know my biz.
Would you brush my hair and rub my back too? ;-)
I know, I thought for sure once I was home, I would quit. My addiction is worse than I thought. And believe me, every time i light up, I feel SICK! I still smoke very little, but I still smoke. I'm a pig and should be killed!
blueta2
New member
calveless wonder said:
I believe these are true to some extent. We all want approval, but in my case, it's more about not wanting to be vulnerable. Do I want approval from strangers? Not really, but I also don't want them to think I'm a twit.
Is that approval? Maybe!
When I was little, my parents would make such a HUGE deal with let's say I dropped something or peed my pants in public. They made a scene bascially saying "EVERYONE LOOK OVER HERE. SHE PEED HER PANTS"
calveless wonder
New member
vixensghost said:
I'll disagree with the last statement. Most people have a very poor perception of themselves. i'm not saying OTHER people have a better perception and that a mature, experienced and emotionally healthy/intelligent person can't have a good perception of themselves, but sometimes other people can see things we can't see in our own behavior.
Approval from other people. You're telling me you don't want approval from your boss... or your husband? You did a good job at work and you don't want to get applauded for it?
Give me a break. everyone wants it to an extent, it's what people do to seek it and to what extent.that's when things get tricky
it's part of being a human being
vixensghost
New member
blueta2 said:
I love when someone else brushes or washes my hair for me! It's on my list of favorites in fact! And, a good back rub is a given too. I fall asleep if the two are done right!
I have no vices in life. I'm a bore and have never been addicted to anything. I take that back, sex and sailing could be my only vices. Hell, sex while sailing gotta be more powerful than meth in my book.
Have you tried to quit smoking ever? I won't give you a hard time, I know it's a very powerful drug, J. I won't lie, I wish you'd stop smoking though.
blueta2
New member
G, I quit when I was 18 and did it for close to 4 yrs. Then all my friends were still smoking so it was just easy to pick up again.
I started when I was 12 also....nuts! I mean I was doing drugs at 13.
And here's the funny thing, I don't smoke when I drink (or when I was drinking), when I'm out or after a meal. I smoke when I go to the bathroom. It's like a trigger.
And when I do smoke, I feel so bad, but that addiction is just so strong.
I started when I was 12 also....nuts! I mean I was doing drugs at 13.
And here's the funny thing, I don't smoke when I drink (or when I was drinking), when I'm out or after a meal. I smoke when I go to the bathroom. It's like a trigger.
And when I do smoke, I feel so bad, but that addiction is just so strong.
redshirt27se
New member
there are very few people who i actually care what they think about me.. blood relatives and very close friends.
if you don't like me, then its just that. i am who i am, and if you don't like that, then that's life. focus should be spent on bettering yourself for you, and not for the approval of another.
if you don't like me, then its just that. i am who i am, and if you don't like that, then that's life. focus should be spent on bettering yourself for you, and not for the approval of another.
vixensghost
New member
calveless wonder said:
I have had few bosses in my life, those few were NOT the type to give out approval freely. I KNOW when I do a fantastic job and that is all that really matter's. Trust me, I'm my own worst critic and no one ELSE can do that JOB better than ME!
As far as my husband, he knows I'm NOT the type who needs her ego stroked when I have accomplished something. My mom told me I'm kinda cold in area's, she's right. However, when it comes to other people- I'm totally different- I am the one who always is making sure other people are happy and let them know I appreciate them 100%. Yes, I'm quirky like that!
blueta2
New member
I never ever crave a cig. It actually makes me ill. Like any good addict, you know, Meth users hate their addiction. They take it, feel sick and wonder why they do it, then they do it again.xrsist said:
I actually have an illness and on a lot of meds where I should be NOT smoking and I still have that 2 a day.
I'm ready, I'm just weak!
blueta2 said:
your not weak at all blueta!
whats the worst youve ever felt after having a cig? you have to think about this feeling when ever you think its time for a cig and just say to your self its not worth it, why do i wanna make my self feel ill again, its all physcological.
i used to smoke and since quiting i feel so much better. i found it was best to cut back slowly than to stop completely.
are you saying you only smoke 2 cigs a day? if not how many?
