Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below Okay, so here it goes, I am 6'5" 220lbs and all my friends tell me the same thing: That they felt intimidated by me before they knew me. Now, I do not consciously do anything to intimidate people so I questioned more and they said that I have a strut that says to other people "I don't give a fuck". Now how can I change myself without changing my size to make me more approachable. I feel that I can scare off potential partners that way.
Why Do I Scare People Away?
- Thread starter barnidge
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FarBeyondDriven
New member
try wearing flower print attire. The dumb grin won't work, ever see slingblade?
Jimsbbc
New member
It probably has to do with physical communication - body language. We understand much more about what someone is communicating by their BL and not the words they say. Something you are doing makes them think this. It can be facial expressions - like glaring at people, shit like that. Also, smiling and acknowledging someone goes a long way for making them feel confortable about being around you.
Happens to me a lot,main reason is that I don't smile much.Figured it out a couple of years back,believe it or not I just started smiling a bit more often and people's reactions stared to change towards me gradually.
Going around with a big cheesy grin the whole time on your face mught scare the hell out of some folk though.
Going around with a big cheesy grin the whole time on your face mught scare the hell out of some folk though.
ive actually tried both methods. this is what happend
when id never smile or talk much people would get defensive when around me hence intimidated, they thought i was stuck up concieded ect...
when i tried the grin thing people thought i was deprssed about something tring to hide stuff, people would aproach me out of pure pitty. ( i phucking hate pitty)
end result??
i hold a straight face then when i see someone id talk to or interested in then give them good body language and a few smiles. i find this method the most fruitful
believe it or not this topic had been on my mind on and off within the last month
when id never smile or talk much people would get defensive when around me hence intimidated, they thought i was stuck up concieded ect...
when i tried the grin thing people thought i was deprssed about something tring to hide stuff, people would aproach me out of pure pitty. ( i phucking hate pitty)
end result??
i hold a straight face then when i see someone id talk to or interested in then give them good body language and a few smiles. i find this method the most fruitful
believe it or not this topic had been on my mind on and off within the last month
Jimsbbc
New member
Do remember Arnold in T2 when he walks up to the guy expressionless and demands his clothes/motorcycle butt naked?
That is what I am like most of the time around people I don't know. Most of the time it's like - they don't know me and don't want to know me so fuck them. I have my friends and don't need any more. If people who don't know me are intimidated - then that is a good thing.
I say be yourself and fuck what other people think all together.
That is what I am like most of the time around people I don't know. Most of the time it's like - they don't know me and don't want to know me so fuck them. I have my friends and don't need any more. If people who don't know me are intimidated - then that is a good thing.
I say be yourself and fuck what other people think all together.
JuliusPeppers
New member
bump
Good shit Georgie.
But how do you make it looks less than goofy when walking by yourself, say to class, and smiling, for what seems like no apparent reason?
The only reason I brought this topic up at all is because of girls so whatever you can help me with that would be most appreciated.
Also, what do you guys do when you see a girl that none of your friends know and is none of your classes/job but really wanna meet. I mean what can you say when you dont know much about her?
But how do you make it looks less than goofy when walking by yourself, say to class, and smiling, for what seems like no apparent reason?
The only reason I brought this topic up at all is because of girls so whatever you can help me with that would be most appreciated.
Also, what do you guys do when you see a girl that none of your friends know and is none of your classes/job but really wanna meet. I mean what can you say when you dont know much about her?
Swoleyoley
New member
6"5" 220 isnt that big
barnidge said:
looking less goofy-
well im glad you asked that question, see the thing is i had the worst luck with the GRIN like i said people where always wondering wtf is up with me, i would get stupid comments on a daily basis like , "you had a good last night eh" or "you have a girlfreind now eh" or "your in a better mood today eh" i got realy realy really sick of people probing at me almost everyday freaggin day.
exacly i had no reason to smile so much i just did it so often i didnt even know i was doing it.
as for the girl-
im not really much of a player or romeo but let me tell you the best thing to do is be yourself.
how do you be yourself you ask?
if your young like me then do what i do, i dont hang in big groups, i dont copy the stupid lingo the mainstream social cliques use, be different not freaky different but set yourself apart from the rest of the TOOLS.
use charisma-
how do i become charismatic you ask?
well its the whole package, you ,your attitude. basicly everthing that makes you YOU!
there is no real way of describing charisma development.
so how do i get charisma you ask?
well its something your born with, if you think you lag in that department then there are ways to develope, improve, install charisma, book stores , the net, ect,,
also it helps to mirror people with carisma.
notice i said mirror not COPY, find charactoristics in those individuals that you see other people respond to in a good manner.. sound to confusing?
heres and example...
jo is talking with mary, you see that mary is responding well to this jo guy, see what jo does to get mary's attention, it can be a smile a good jesture or just plain out the blue CHAT , the chat doesnt have to be a physics paper just something mindless and with no end result in mind.
do you have any advice you ask?
remember dont just start firing questions at her! find out her opinions and thoughts on topics by mentioning those certain topics that your interested in. you should be seeing a pattern here barnidge if you need any more help drop me a line
Thaibox
New member
I'm 6'2" 250(which I don't think is very big). I shave my head and keep a goatee that drops down both sides of my chin. I have tatts and earings, and wear tank tops a lot. My good friend Christine said that I always look pissed, clenching my jaw, and I scare people. I don't mean to, I'd rather make friends than enemies.
One night I spent at least three hours on and off, trying to convince her that I'm not a violent person. As we were walking down the street, four guys in a BMW drove by and yelled something rude to her, so I ran after them, caught them at a light, and beat the shit out of their car with my knees and steel toes trying to get them out, but they ran the light to get away. I sort of gave up trying to convince her I was a peaceful guy.
I just hate disrespectful fuckers.
One night I spent at least three hours on and off, trying to convince her that I'm not a violent person. As we were walking down the street, four guys in a BMW drove by and yelled something rude to her, so I ran after them, caught them at a light, and beat the shit out of their car with my knees and steel toes trying to get them out, but they ran the light to get away. I sort of gave up trying to convince her I was a peaceful guy.
I just hate disrespectful fuckers.
Grizzly said:
hey twinkle toes your demeanor outways your so called weight .
if you put a 130 pound geek in a social setting with people girls or wharever, come to find out that the 130 pound geek is behaving anti-social, and is displaying disrespect to himself and others then this geek is weighing heavily in the mean pissed off demeanor as mentioned above
then you have the 220 pound guy who has endless carisma
he is socially dancing around talking with freinds and in the proccess making new freinds and attracting future "booty calls"
so my point is you dont have to be a certain weight to be considered heavy.
btw 220 ripped or lean i think is awsome as fuck. so you would be happy aat 320 eh. well good luck trying to get there. with that level of commitment you can post replys on how to be a prick and how most people avoid you and your confused as hell
sure your big as fuck and "heavy" but all the work and maintanance youll have to do get there would be counterproductive if your looking to hook up with hot ass chicks and make some bro's/freinds. unless you have established a good base of freinds and girlfreind/wife or booty calls then all i can say is good luck bro
georgie24 said:
1. Sometimes people send out signals that even they themselves arent even aware of. Like in his case.
2. Is the threat of me getting bad karma suppose to make me bite my tongue instead of stateing my opinion & facts at hand?
3. Please try & write like you actually attended one or two years of grade school, even if it was for the mentally impaired.
georgie24 said:
thanks for catching my typo,
btw dont take me personal its a matter of opinions and thoughts thats all.
That's cool. Well, I'm still curious as to what the hell that first paragraph says, but I'm also curious as to what the point of the whole thing is. What was the point?
I did notice one thing that is completely wrong, though.
"so my point is you dont have to be a certain weight to be considered heavy. " You don't? Tell me a dude who weighs 135 is heavy.
Robert Jan
New member
i have a friend like that who always scares peeps while hes really a very calm, even shy guy.
hes like 7"0 and has been since he was 12, i dont know the name of that syndrome but he then had certain shots taken to close his growth plates which gave some sides like body hair (at age 12....) a deep voice etc.
hes like 17 now, still 7"0 and bald shaved head and pretty big. people tend to just walk off when he comes around. hes actually very shy, scared even. when a guy at the ballcourt came to play, even a pretty short small guy, the guy took a shot with his ball and he was just like, "oh, you want my ball... well.... ok then"
and went to the other side of the court. very very pathetic..........
hes got some issues i hope he turns out right.
hes like 7"0 and has been since he was 12, i dont know the name of that syndrome but he then had certain shots taken to close his growth plates which gave some sides like body hair (at age 12....) a deep voice etc.
hes like 17 now, still 7"0 and bald shaved head and pretty big. people tend to just walk off when he comes around. hes actually very shy, scared even. when a guy at the ballcourt came to play, even a pretty short small guy, the guy took a shot with his ball and he was just like, "oh, you want my ball... well.... ok then"
and went to the other side of the court. very very pathetic..........
hes got some issues i hope he turns out right.
havoc
Shaolin Ninja
An excellent question: I have had to cope with this same scenario for a while, it sucks, its instant stereotype.
I have learned that the only way a person will not view you in a negative fashion in respects to this situation is that person actually getting to know you. I cannot tell you how many times people said to me "you are such a nice guy, I would of never thought that". Just be yourself my friend, treat others how you would like to be treated, if they respond in a negative fashion for no reason whatsoever then that is there fault, not yours, good luck. peace
I have learned that the only way a person will not view you in a negative fashion in respects to this situation is that person actually getting to know you. I cannot tell you how many times people said to me "you are such a nice guy, I would of never thought that". Just be yourself my friend, treat others how you would like to be treated, if they respond in a negative fashion for no reason whatsoever then that is there fault, not yours, good luck. peace
fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
grow your hair out like michael bolton and everybody will think you are a pussy and love ya. 
paradox said:
well the fact of the matter is i skipped kindergarden(no lie) and graduated high school with a 3.0 and never ever studied. ever!
in grade school we played with blocks all day and napped after lunch so there's your explanation. why do you compare intellect with with spelling grammar?
Taps said:
yup good book imo,
barnidge-
also just spend a good day in the self-improvement section at barnes n noble. for me and afternoon turned into a day a day turned into a daily visit to the bookstore. there usually open late at night thats a good time to go you can grab a book from the shelf plop on the ground then read away, i prefer the comforatble couches they have there but hey thats me
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