WHo else just likes to chill out on Friday nights?

[needtogetaas]

"It is better to be feared than loved."

-name the movie.


Look, Im not trying to argue about the fact that yes some kids in some situations need to be spanked. I agree with that. I have spanked my son who is also 7. Moreso when he was younger and very very rarely now. But what Im talking about are people whose ONLY recourse is a spanking. a)because its the first thing that comes to mind (habit) b) it's the easiest thing to do immediately and c) they truly dont know any other methods.

PARENTING IS A FUCKING HARD JOB. no one is disputing that fact. none of us are experts. we fucking make it up as we go along basically. we make mistakes. lord knows I have handled many situations with my son in the wrong manner. some people tell me Im too harsh with him. some times Im too harsh, sometimes not harsh enough. a lot of it has to do with the amount of energy I have at the time to deal with it.

ya thats a big one for me to.some times you just dont have the mettaly right state of mind or energy to deal with it.i have on some acatoins just not don anny thing at all just cuz i had so much to do and was so tyerd i couldent deal.my daughter is the worst for that stuff.its like she knows exactly when she can get away with something.spanking dosent work with her most of the time so i dont even wast my time doing it with here.she is so dame strong willed its amazing.no snakes and time outs work better for her.i think i give here more slake then i should though most of the time.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Children do not come with instructions.

I never ever had any problems with my children until I split with their father and even then I did the best I could (and continue to do so) with the cards we were dealt.

I took my daughter to the pediatrician this morning. Told him pointblank what percipitated the method of discipline that I had chosen, exactly how I meeted it out and the exact dialogue that I had directly preceeding the punishment, what was said during and what was said since. Then I asked my daughter to drop her jeans and show there was not a mark on her and I had whooped her rear with a belt four times just the night before.

I had nothing to hide and though I am greatly saddened that I felt I had no other option given the situation - I KNOW I DID THE RIGHT THING.

I know this is not a "quick fix" nor did I expect it. This is only the beginning. Because of the messed up nature of how our lives have been held hostage by their father and a fucked up court system I have been too afraid to parent properly.

NO MORE.

I will go to my daughter's school on Monday, have another discussion with the counselor and ask to follow the child from class to class (sit in the back reading a book) and put her on the bus to her father's house. I can do no more, but this I can certainly do being that I now have been "afforded the luxury" to NOT have to work. (I HAD a job. Her father screwed me out of that. Now I will make the best of a strange situation.)

I will also be doing random spot checks. The childs KNOWS THAT I STRICTLY FORBID HER WEARING MAKEUP. Yet I saw her last night as I picked her up from the home of a friend at 11:30OPM AFTER NOT KNOWING WHERE SHE WAS ALL DAY (Feel me on the corporal punishment now?). So if I EVER catch that child wearing anything that remotely resembles makeup again, I will paint her face up with a big red lipstick (only makeup remover will remove the stain from her skin) and she can go back to class like that.

A CHILD wearing makeup looks more like a circus clown than anything else. We dont do anything half way in my household. So if she truly wants to look like a circus clown, I will make damned sure that she looks like a right proper one!

I love my children more than life itself and there is nothing that I wont do to make sure that they dont irrepairably damage their futures because of dumb shit.

Teens do NOT run the show. If more parents realized this, there would be more happy children and happier families.

When a child is empowered to the point that they are actually the ones in control, not only are they miserable and confused but are on a one way course headed for certain disaster.

 

[Smurfy]

you go girl!

 

[dirty~d~]

It depends on how well work went the week prior to that Friday. Most of the time I do like just coming home and relaxing on my own. Once in a while I'll call up a friend to go get dinner and a drink with, but I don't make special plans for Friday nights anymore. I need my own down time.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Fridays w/my kids - any number want to go to their friends for socializing, sometimes a sleepover and I take the ones that aren't too cool to hang with mom (LOL) to the movies or ice-skating.

Fridays w/out my kids were spent either hanging with my best gf at Lori's (a local dive where the bartenders and owner knows me so I am safe - no one would think to hurt me) tying one on and singing gawdawful karioki or on a date.

Now Fridays w/out my kids is spent w/the bf. We either go out for dinner/drinks w/out other freinds to act the fool with all sorts of shits and giggles or come back home after dinner to drink and "get better acquainted" in the hottub.... w/out the rest of the company, of course!

 

[biteme]

I think you're going too far with the makeup thing. 7th and 8th grade young ladies wear make-up. They did even back when I was in school.

 

[biteme]

Teens do NOT run the show. If more parents realized this, there would be more happy children and happier families.

When a child is empowered to the point that they are actually the ones in control, not only are they miserable and confused but are on a one way course headed for certain disaster.[/QUOTE]

This is probably true. Isn't this the hardest job in the world?

 

[Bikini Mod]

I think you're going too far with the makeup thing. 7th and 8th grade young ladies wear make-up. They did even back when I was in school.

Sorry - wrong.

7th and 8th graders wearing makeup are NOT ladies. They are little girls that got into their mother's makeup and look like silly little children trying to rush growing up.

I was not allowed to wear makeup till I was 17 - old enough to date. And even then it was to be tastefull and only for special occasions such as a date.

I still grew up.

Even to this day I rarely wear makeup (and God knows I look waaaaaay better with a bit LOL). If a man does not find me appealing the way I am then he need not look at me. PERIOD.

There is no need to rush growing up. It happens before we know it and then it is too late.

My daughter is already bigger than me and in the same pants size. With make up a now 13 y/o could easily be mistaken for a girl much older and would get all the attention that an older girl would get, attention that she is ill-equipped to handle.

You can allow your daughter to shave her head if that is what you deem proper.

My daughters will not grow up thinking that they NEED to hurry growing up.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Teens do NOT run the show. If more parents realized this, there would be more happy children and happier families.

When a child is empowered to the point that they are actually the ones in control, not only are they miserable and confused but are on a one way course headed for certain disaster.

This is probably true. Isn't this the hardest job in the world?[/QUOTE]


WERD

 

[biteme]

I told my daughter that I would follow her around and spy on her. She freaked out and I wasn't sure I did the right thing. I called my mother, who I thought was too strict when I was growing up, and she said that I shouldn't do that. So, I had to apologize to my daughter. Man oh man. It's a stressful position.