WHo else just likes to chill out on Friday nights?

[Bikini Mod]

bikinimom - long time no see.

Well. Sorry to hear about your daughter. That post really came out of left field. What board am I on? How did I get on C&C?

It's all good - just part of growing up I suppose.

 

[biteme]

Pissed doesnt begin to describe it. I am more frightened for her future than pissed at her. I am furious with her father, but that is a wasted emotion and has nothing to do with she and I.

I stopped posting up about personal business a long time ago but it has been VERY HARD. This poor kid was empowered by the courts so she began lying and manipulating to get what she wanted. No 11 - 13 y/o is capable of knowing what is good for them and my hands were tied, I could not discipline her properly because I was in constant fear of having her taken away.

Now I am tired of bullshit and she lied one times too many and started down a path that there was no way I was going to allow her down. Her father is an imbecile that could give a shit so tonite I finally did what that child needed for 2 years now.

I was very calm and rational, spoke to her and explained. At the end I explained to her again what I used to say when she was little and I had to discipline her. "In my language there is an expression - it is better that you cry now, than that I should have to cry later." I told her there is NO WAY that I was going to allow her to continue on so that I or her sisters or any member of my family that loves her would shed one more tear for all the grief and stress she has caused our household.

We will only cry tears of joy for her from now on.

I hope it works. I'm afraid to spank mine. I think 13 is a little too old, but that's just my opinion.

 

[seizer]

I just took a belt to my 13 y/o daughter's ass. Should have done it two years ago.

I told her that I will never EVER cry for something like what she has been doing again, nor will I cry at her grave site after her body has been found, nor will I cry when she is in and out of rehab, nor will I cry when she throws away her life on some asshole that beats her but who she wont leave because "she loves him." No, I told her that the next time I cry for her it will be tears of joy as she graduates college at the head of her class and goes on to become anything she wants to be while saying proudly, "THAT IS MY DAUGHTER."

I can't remember the last time I had to put my hands on any of my children. But this little girl had it coming....

I believe that one of ways to make your child the best is to put them on your level. For too long, parents act as a mentor, which is good, but they do this for much to long. Alot of the time, I dont think they understand that they have to let the child respond and they, the parents, have to treat what their kid said like they would another adult. What I mean is, they teach their kid and teach their kid again, but they never give them a full chance to try out what they learned for themself. If they have to talk with an adult, they start acting like one a hell of a lot sooner. As soon as they have full trust in themself and the sooner they mature and understand themself, the sooner they will be able to do ANYTHING. If your girl's smart, and based on what I read of you, she more than likely is, she'll become better than you because she'll have learned from what you know and more on her own..

 

[Bikini Mod]

I hope it works. I'm afraid to spank mine. I think 13 is a little too old, but that's just my opinion.

I think 13 is too old as well. However, if the child is going to behave like she is 2 then I will damned well treat her like it. I have been far too patient and lenient for too long. Had I whooped her ass when she was 11 like I should have, I firmly believe that none of this would have happened. But I can't take back the past. I can only look towards the future.

But believe me when I tell you she had it coming. There is NO WAY IN HELL I was about to let that child run the show - NO FUCKING WAY.

My father would not hesitate to slap me "as long as I had his name." I was married at 22. I always knew respect... always. Unfortunately she is not disciplined properly at her father's so it makes it harder on her. But that's ok... this is my one and only job.

 

[bigbair]

My dad busted my ass growing up and I respect him for it. At a certain age he also began letting me screw up on my own (so long as it didn't appear life threatening) and then let me try and clean up my own mess. I respect him for that too.

BB

 

[Bikini Mod]

I believe that one of ways to make your child the best is to put them on your level. For too long, parents act as a mentor, which is good, but they do this for much to long. Alot of the time, I dont think they understand that they have to let the child respond and they, the parents, have to treat what their kid said like they would another adult. What I mean is, they teach their kid and teach their kid again, but they never give them a full chance to try out what they learned for themself. If they have to talk with an adult, they start acting like one a hell of a lot sooner. As soon as they have full trust in themself and the sooner they mature and understand themself, the sooner they will be able to do ANYTHING. If your girl's smart, and based on what I read of you, she more than likely is, she'll become better than you because she'll have learned from what you know and more on her own..

She has violated my trust for the last time and caused us all unbelievable worry (not even discussing all the awful lies she told over the past two years simply to get what she wanted, when she wanted it). I have tried to speak in depth about it. I have tried to revoke priviliges. I have tried it all.

I didnt just whoop her and send her to bed. There was NO YELLING. Calm but forceful explanation and a couple of shots to the ass. More calm talk. Then I told her that I no longer trusted her and that she had no more priviliges - she would have to EARN that trust back and that as long as she was in our home she needed to abide by the rules or the consequences would be severe. PERIOD

 

[biteme]

She has violated my trust for the last time and caused us all unbelievable worry (not even discussing all the awful lies she told over the past two years simply to get what she wanted, when she wanted it). I have tried to speak in depth about it. I have tried to revoke priviliges. I have tried it all.

I didnt just whoop her and send her to bed. There was NO YELLING. Calm but forceful explanation and a couple of shots to the ass. More calm talk. Then I told her that I no longer trusted her and that she had no more priviliges - she would have to EARN that trust back and that as long as she was in our home she needed to abide by the rules or the consequences would be severe. PERIOD

Let me know how that works out. If I thought that would work, I'd try it.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Her next step is fucking boot camp.

I am NOT kidding.

 

[seizer]

She has violated my trust for the last time and caused us all unbelievable worry (not even discussing all the awful lies she told over the past two years simply to get what she wanted, when she wanted it). I have tried to speak in depth about it. I have tried to revoke priviliges. I have tried it all.

I didnt just whoop her and send her to bed. There was NO YELLING. Calm but forceful explanation and a couple of shots to the ass. More calm talk. Then I told her that I no longer trusted her and that she had no more priviliges - she would have to EARN that trust back and that as long as she was in our home she needed to abide by the rules or the consequences would be severe. PERIOD

I see. I wouldn't hit my child, but that's just me. If you want them to learn, atleast if I was to do this, I would say something to make them feel guilty. This is a feeling that no one wants, an eventually, people do what they will to lose it if they can. Most do. If she acts on it, that could correct the situation.

Good luck with her.

 

[victoria978]

I see. I wouldn't hit my child, but that's just me. If you want them to learn, atleast if I was to do this, I would say something to make them feel guilty. This is a feeling that no one wants, an eventually, people do what they will to lose it if they can. Most do. If she acts on it, that could correct the situation.

Good luck with her.

Ever stop and notice that during the time periods when ass whoopings were more accepted and noone was afraid of DYFS there were less problems with kids and violence and other extreme problems? I think the problem with a lot of kids these days is they don't get their asses whooped enough when needed.