What's Your Car?

[blut wump]

ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW
Bavarian Manure Wagon

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CADILLAC
Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions

CAMARO
Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

CHEVROLET
Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair

DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FERRARI
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

FIAT
Found In A Trashcan

FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily
THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill (Sent in by Roger_Markowitz)
MUSTANG - Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
FORD backwards --> Driver Returns On Foot

GEO
Get Everything Overpriced

GM
General Maintenance

GMC
Gay Man's Chevy

HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again

HUMMER
Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources

Jeep
Just Empty Every Pocket

Jaguar
Just A Guess U Are Rich

LAMBORGHINI
Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody's Image

LOTUS
Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

Maserati
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MERCEDES
My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke

MITSUBISHI
Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete

MOPAR
Mostly Old Parts And Rust

NISSAN
Need I Say Something About Nothing

OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment

PONTIAC
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac

PORSCHE
Plenty Of Repairs, Service Can't Help Everything

SAAB
Styling Absent After Buyout

SALEEN
Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty

SATURN
Same American Trash Under Revised Name

SUBARU
Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)

TOYOTA
This One You Oughta Tow Away

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW
Virtually Worthless
Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise

 

[alien amp pharm]

That's hilarious

 

[blut wump]

A man saw an advertisement in a paper which read, "Porsche for sale: $200." He went to view it, expecting to find a battered heap of rust, but instead found himself face to face with a gleaming new model in mint condition.

"Why are you selling it for $200?" he asked the lady.

"Simple. Last week, my husband ran off with his secretary. He said: "You can keep the house, but sell my Porsche and send the money to me."

 

[blut wump]

A guy was driving a Yugo on the interstate when it broke down. A short while later, a Porsche stopped and the driver offered to give the Yugo a tow. "If I go too fast," said the Porsche driver, "honk your horn."

So the Porsche set off with the Yugo in tow. A few miles down the road, a Corvette pulled alongside the Porsche. The Corvette driver called out, "I bet I can outrace you with that thing in tow behind you."

The Porsche driver was up for the challenge and the two cars sped off side by side down the highway. Two State Troopers watched in disbelief as the cars flew by.

"Did you see that Porsche and Corvette racing neck and neck?" said one.
The other said, "Yeah. And what about that little Yugo flying behind them, honking his horn, trying to pass?"

 

[needtogetaas]

repost.

 

[blut wump]

Just read the ones you haven't seen before.

 

[Guinness5.0]

The oldsmobile one is classic!

 

[*MissFit*]

TOYOTA
This One You Oughta Tow Away

 

[blut wump]

• How do you make a Yugo go faster? - Use a towtruck.
• What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo? - Passengers.
• Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.
• The new Yugo has an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start pumping real fast.
• I have also said for years that the car is named because "Yugo, but it doesn't".
• How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour? - Push it over a cliff.
• A friend went to a dealer the other day and said, "I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo." The dealer replied, "Okay. Sounds like a fair trade."

 

[tiger88]

I AM ACURA

bmw = black mans wish

pontic = poor old nigger thinks its a cadilac