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What's your best non-legit reason for missing work?

one time in latin class in middle school i had awful diareah and the teacher let me go to the bathroom, and as soon as i came back i had to go again, so i ran out of the classroom without saying anything and just took a shit, then came back and told her i threw up.

i got sympathy and got to home.

i was walking back from thelatin class and saw my homeroom teacher who asked me what was amater, and i told her "i threw up" and started crying.

im fucking awsome
 
My hemmorhoids won't stop bleeding.

That bought me a few days.. ;)
 
I usually plan for sickness in advance and work my lou days in smoothly. If I have like a 2 or three day break coming up and I want a four, I say to the guy's and gays before said break, "yuh, just going camping for the weekend" or break or whatever, and then on the day Im supposed to return...BAMO! "Hey boss...what's that? yeah, it was an excellent trip. But uh, I probably swallowed too much water or something because i got a little beaver feaver. a little terry fox action where the sun dont shine... the runs, mr.robinson, the runs." Long weekend. Done. Tell the peeps where you were and what happened, they believe it.
 
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I have called in sick mid coitus. I complained of a migraine.

She was a dirty girl. She could stay quiet if needed.
 
I dont know about you, but when I call in sick, I simply say that Im staying home because Im sick or I dont feel well or I am heading to the doctor. Im pretty sure my boss isnt wanting details. I know when I was managing people, I sure didnt want to hear ghastly stories about explosive diarrhea or projectile vomitting or what size and color chunks of mucus is coming out of their nose. fuck it, you're an adult.
 
Smurfy said:
I dont know about you, but when I call in sick, I simply say that Im staying home because Im sick or I dont feel well or I am heading to the doctor. Im pretty sure my boss isnt wanting details. I know when I was managing people, I sure didnt want to hear ghastly stories about explosive diarrhea or projectile vomitting or what size and color chunks of mucus is coming out of their nose. fuck it, you're an adult.
Click to expand...


I agree........just say you're not feeling well or sick. You do not owe details to the boss. Though one time I did explain to my boss the color of my mucus..haha!
 
SublimeZM said:
one time in latin class in middle school i had awful diareah and the teacher let me go to the bathroom, and as soon as i came back i had to go again, so i ran out of the classroom without saying anything and just took a shit, then came back and told her i threw up.
Click to expand...

He said work, not grade school. Get a job and then come back to answer his question.
 
grammaR none the less



SublimeZM said:
one time in latin class in middle school i had awful diareah and the teacher let me go to the bathroom, and as soon as i came back i had to go again, so i ran out of the classroom without saying anything and just took a shit, then came back and told her i threw up.

i got sympathy and got to home.

i was walking back from thelatin class and saw my homeroom teacher who asked me what was amater, and i told her "i threw up" and started crying.

im fucking awsome
Click to expand...
 
was up all night drinking cheap wine and fucking. That usually doesn't get any question.
 
Tragic house type emergencies are always good...

Plumbing Leak, A/C busted, Electrical repair dudes are coming by
and I gotta be here.

Sounding pissed and annoyed that you can't come into work when you
call is always a plus.
 
Mr. dB said:
You can get explosive diarrhea more than once...
Click to expand...


I never tell my superior that I have explosive diarrhea :worried:

LOL
 
You don't have to provide a reason. It's just not good to have a bong gurgling in the background and a friend that's stomping on the gas while you're trying to say you have the flu.


Actual call in to me at my last job.
 
I can't remember the last time I missed work with a bogus excuse. It's been many many years.
 
I've been on a 3 day coke binder and am in no form to be in public.

All bullshit aside I don't like missing work and losing money. I don't get paid sick days. If I need a day or two off all I have to do is say something a week or two in advance. Plus I get rain days here and there that make up for bs call offs.
 
dannomight said:
I've been on a 3 day coke binder and am in no form to be in public.
All bullshit aside I don't like missing work and losing money. I don't get paid sick days. If I need a day or two off all I have to do is say something a week or two in advance. Plus I get rain days here and there that make up for bs call offs.
Click to expand...


Yeah, but you can still make it in.
 
I got in at 4am because I had to reach my decapitation quota, consequently I didn't get enough sleep.............. Oh wait, that really happened. I'm confused.
 
turf toe. serious.

I walk on loose rock all the time, "railroad" and sometimes your feet just hurt..... well, they can somewhat, but after walking for a minute or two it's gone. oh well

Whiskey
 
Whiskey said:
turf toe. serious.

I walk on loose rock all the time, "railroad" and sometimes your feet just hurt..... well, they can somewhat, but after walking for a minute or two it's gone. oh well

Whiskey
Click to expand...

You probably walk up on some interesting critters from time to time.
 
ive made up a lie saying i was in jail to get out of work to goto the race track for the weekend.

in my defense it was my last shifts there,i had given notice and it fell on a long weekend
 
theoak01 said:
ive made up a lie saying i was in jail to get out of work to goto the race track for the weekend.

in my defense it was my last shifts there,i had given notice and it fell on a long weekend
Click to expand...

welcome back ... I thought you got shipped off.
 
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