What should I ask the doc to prescribe me?

[Nathan]

I think I may have finally found the sweetspot to my personality. Probably not and I'm sure I'll have a whole new crop of problems next year but whatever, baby steps and all that.

So right now, I find I am able to operate quite well socially and am overall rather happy - more so than I typically am. It's been a lot of work over the years to get to this point - I think I've dropped a few anecdotes of my super fun childhood on here in the past - but there are a few things that still drive me batty from time to time. The major one is boredom.

Okay, I know everyone gets bored. Now picture feeling SO bored to such an extreme that you could call it a disorder since you might not make the best calls as a result of simply wanting some excitement. Cue me getting arrested for public nudity. I'd like to avoid that.

Marijuana has always worked REALLY well for me. Like, REALLY well. BUT I smoke too much now and it doesn't work as well anymore - I have to smoke a lot and it only keeps me high for a good 30-60 minutes. Plus, I can't get that prescribed - I've discussed marijuans pill siwth my doc before but they didn't sounds ideal. I know ativan is sort of similar but I don't know about that one - I liked it at first for the anxiety but it sort of fucks me up in the wrong ways, leaves me nauseious and dizzy.

What I am looking for is something that lasts typically a few hours - maybe 5 hours max - that will shut my brain down and make me dumb temporarily. That is what I want. When I start to get all worked up I want to be turned into a zombie. I love it. I absolutely love not having many thoughts like you would not believe. Maybe I want something that will make me feel super fatigued but that I can fight through and not pass out?

Any suggestions?

Oh by the way, as it stands, I can't tire myself out in the gym - that used to work and make me content to sit down and not do anything for hours afterwards but not these days. Nothing is slowing me the fuck down.

 

[stilleto]

omg

we are so much alike, except for the coolness factor for which i accelerate.

I just got some xanax. I only took one, and it MAY have given me a sense of well being and relaxation, OR i was just relaxed and feeling good, which does happen a lot.

vicodin is a wonder drug for me. makes me feel good- both physically and mentally. Even if i wasn't feeling bad in any way before- i just suddenly feel... better.

I love being high, but it's not always convenient or legal. i hate that.

 

[patsfan1379]

vicodin

 

[jackangel]

Cn-

 

[stilleto]

vicodin

^^^
what she said.

 

[layinback]

I think I may have finally found the sweetspot to my personality. Probably not and I'm sure I'll have a whole new crop of problems next year but whatever, baby steps and all that.

So right now, I find I am able to operate quite well socially and am overall rather happy - more so than I typically am. It's been a lot of work over the years to get to this point - I think I've dropped a few anecdotes of my super fun childhood on here in the past - but there are a few things that still drive me batty from time to time. The major one is boredom.

Okay, I know everyone gets bored. Now picture feeling SO bored to such an extreme that you could call it a disorder since you might not make the best calls as a result of simply wanting some excitement. Cue me getting arrested for public nudity. I'd like to avoid that.

Marijuana has always worked REALLY well for me. Like, REALLY well. BUT I smoke too much now and it doesn't work as well anymore - I have to smoke a lot and it only keeps me high for a good 30-60 minutes. Plus, I can't get that prescribed - I've discussed marijuans pill siwth my doc before but they didn't sounds ideal. I know ativan is sort of similar but I don't know about that one - I liked it at first for the anxiety but it sort of fucks me up in the wrong ways, leaves me nauseious and dizzy.

What I am looking for is something that lasts typically a few hours - maybe 5 hours max - that will shut my brain down and make me dumb temporarily. That is what I want. When I start to get all worked up I want to be turned into a zombie. I love it. I absolutely love not having many thoughts like you would not believe. Maybe I want something that will make me feel super fatigued but that I can fight through and not pass out?

Any suggestions?

Oh by the way, as it stands, I can't tire myself out in the gym - that used to work and make me content to sit down and not do anything for hours afterwards but not these days. Nothing is slowing me the fuck down.

nathan you NEED a mood stabilizer. using pot as a mood stabilizer\antidepressant will back fire one day. lamictal is a wonderful drug that has helped lots of folks in your situation. you have to play with the dose but when you nail it.....cool. stay away from ativan long term. benzo addiction is absolutely the worst and will compound your problems later on. go see a p doc and stay away from general practitioners. several mood stabilizers to choose from and when couple with the right antidepressant can do wonders. however you are only treating symptoms, you MUST get to the root of the problem. find a therapist who specializes in gestalt therapy. i came from a very dysfunctional family and have been in recovery and therapy for a long time. it works my friend. it is hard,much harder than bb . i fucking hate to hear ppl suffering. go to a good p doc and find a therapist you like. interview until you find suitable folks. remember it is your money and your life so you can pick and choose docs and therapist.good luck

 

[Nathan]

omg

we are so much alike, except for the coolness factor for which i accelerate.

I just got some xanax. I only took one, and it MAY have given me a sense of well being and relaxation, OR i was just relaxed and feeling good, which does happen a lot.

vicodin is a wonder drug for me. makes me feel good- both physically and mentally. Even if i wasn't feeling bad in any way before- i just suddenly feel... better.

I love being high, but it's not always convenient or legal. i hate that.

I'm getting high for the rest of my life. Period. My parents have both been doing it and I gave up fighting it a few years ago. You can't change who you are and without that shit, I'm just fucking not having fun. I might not live as long, but it's something I've been thinking about for 26 years and the older I get, the more convinced I become it doesn't matter. Plus, everyone does some form of drug so I may be fine, who knows. I've just found I've become more and more comfortable with the worst-case scenario after having tried it the other way a few times.

Do vicodin and xanax have short half-lives? I'm on effexor now and they won't give me anything they think will make me even remotely mannic - I've been manic all summer and I freaked the doc out a bit. The only thing I'll get are sedatives, which is fine by me. A sense of well-being might do hte trick though - maybe that is where the boredom comes from.

 

[Nathan]

nathan you NEED a mood stabilizer. using pot as a mood stabilizer\antidepressant will back fire one day. lamictal is a wonderful drug that has helped lots of folks in your situation. you have to play with the dose but when you nail it.....cool. stay away from ativan long term. benzo addiction is absolutely the worst and will compound your problems later on. go see a p doc and stay away from general practitioners. several mood stabilizers to choose from and when couple with the right antidepressant can do wonders. however you are only treating symptoms, you MUST get to the root of the problem. find a therapist who specializes in gestalt therapy. i came from a very dysfunctional family and have been in recovery and therapy for a long time. it works my friend. it is hard,much harder than bb . i fucking hate to hear ppl suffering. go to a good p doc and find a therapist you like. interview until you find suitable folks. remember it is your money and your life so you can pick and choose docs and therapist.good luck

Dude, I had an hour logn visit with anew psych a couple weeks back and it wasn't anywhere near long enough to go over all of my history with the meds I've tried, behavioral modification, etc.

I'm not changing my personality. I won't do that. The mood stabilizer thing is a ticket to a new personality - I think mood stabilizers are horrbile frankly. They prescribed me klonazepan (sp?) or something and I went in to teh pharmacy and told her, thanks but no thanks. I'm not trying that.

I know my doc is going to be very frustrated with me but I'd rahter go without meds and risk losing everything that become boring 24/7.

 

[stilleto]

I'm getting high for the rest of my life. Period. My parents have both been doing it and I gave up fighting it a few years ago. You can't change who you are and without that shit, I'm just fucking not having fun. I might not live as long, but it's something I've been thinking about for 26 years and the older I get, the more convinced I become it doesn't matter. Plus, everyone does some form of drug so I may be fine, who knows. I've just found I've become more and more comfortable with the worst-case scenario after having tried it the other way a few times.

Do vicodin and xanax have short half-lives? I'm on effexor now and they won't give me anything they think will make me even remotely mannic - I've been manic all summer and I freaked the doc out a bit. The only thing I'll get are sedatives, which is fine by me. A sense of well-being might do hte trick though - maybe that is where the boredom comes from.

you don't have to tell me about getting high.. my father started me on it at 13 years old and i've been getting high ever since. not as often lately, as it's a lot harder to do with kids in the house and i do NOT want them knowing or seeing or in any danger from it (ie, i won't drive when high).
I don't know about manic behavior or half lives. i don't even know if vicodin is a mood changer or not- but it physically makes me feel... i don't know... fluffy and happy. like a cotton ball.

 

[layinback]

I'm getting high for the rest of my life. Period. My parents have both been doing it and I gave up fighting it a few years ago. You can't change who you are and without that shit, I'm just fucking not having fun. I might not live as long, but it's something I've been thinking about for 26 years and the older I get, the more convinced I become it doesn't matter. Plus, everyone does some form of drug so I may be fine, who knows. I've just found I've become more and more comfortable with the worst-case scenario after having tried it the other way a few times.

Do vicodin and xanax have short half-lives? I'm on effexor now and they won't give me anything they think will make me even remotely mannic - I've been manic all summer and I freaked the doc out a bit. The only thing I'll get are sedatives, which is fine by me. A sense of well-being might do hte trick though - maybe that is where the boredom comes from.

the boredom comes from identity disturbance. lack of nurturing and mirroring as a child. you CAN NOT fill this with hydrocodone or benzodiazipines. they dont MAKE enough of them to fill this abandonment wound. you dont have to stay on drugs for the rest of your life. nathan i had a 100 mg a day habit on hydromorphone(5 times stronger than morphine) i robbed drug stores and worked in organized crime ring bad scripts and doc shopping. my life was horrible and empty. if i told you what i been through you wouldnt believe it. i have been sober for 19 years own a multi million dollar biz happy marriage with kids. aint sayin its a bunch of roses but its 1000000% better than used to be. DO NOT give up. get help and work toward recovery.

 

[Nathan]

the boredom comes from identity disturbance. lack of nurturing and mirroring as a child. you CAN NOT fill this with hydrocodone or benzodiazipines. they dont MAKE enough of them to fill this abandonment wound. you dont have to stay on drugs for the rest of your life. nathan i had a 100 mg a day habit on hydromorphone(5 times stronger than morphine) i robbed drug stores and worked in organized crime ring bad scripts and doc shopping. my life was horrible and empty. if i told you what i been through you wouldnt believe it. i have been sober for 19 years own a multi million dollar biz happy marriage with kids. aint sayin its a bunch of roses but its 1000000% better than used to be. DO NOT give up. get help and work toward recovery.

I have stories I could tell as well, don't you worry. If you want to compare who's made the worst calls sometime, I'd be happy to.

And I'm pretty sure abandoment has nothing to do with it - I had great parents. The problem is that they passed on a few genetic mood disorders - I got bi-polar disorder from my mom's side and OCD/anxiety from my dad's. You and I are very different cases from the sounds of things. I've been seeing doctors about this shit since I was like 13-14.

And my addicition is not to painkillers - it is to marijuana. I am getting help is the whole point, for the billionth time. I guess my issue is that I think I'm smarter than doctors and no longer trust them - when it comes to mood stuff, they SUCK. Like, they have no idea what they are doing almost. In fact, I feel more qualified than a lot of them at this point. I explained to my psychiatrist what I went through as a kid and frankly, it looked like she FINALLY understood it after like 30 years of schooling. Wtf?

I got through my OCD on my own more or less - I had to figure it all out for myself. No one told me it was cropping up at stressful periods in my life and that it was my brain's way of diverting my attention via millions of obsessions and compulsions from whatever was REALLY bothering me. Instead I was thrown on like 6 different types of meds over the years, some of which made me insane and violent. You ever had delusions of grandeur? It's kind of scary.

 

[the_clockwork]

I'd strongly advise against xanax or any mood controling drugs. Heavy, dependant use of narcotics lead to depression

 

[CrazyRussian]

Have you tried going to a decent, well-qualified psychiatrist? I think that'd be a better and more permanent solution than popping handfulls of pills a day for the rest of your life.

 

[crazyjoe]

I think I may have finally found the sweetspot to my personality. Probably not and I'm sure I'll have a whole new crop of problems next year but whatever, baby steps and all that.

So right now, I find I am able to operate quite well socially and am overall rather happy - more so than I typically am. It's been a lot of work over the years to get to this point - I think I've dropped a few anecdotes of my super fun childhood on here in the past - but there are a few things that still drive me batty from time to time. The major one is boredom.

Okay, I know everyone gets bored. Now picture feeling SO bored to such an extreme that you could call it a disorder since you might not make the best calls as a result of simply wanting some excitement. Cue me getting arrested for public nudity. I'd like to avoid that.

Marijuana has always worked REALLY well for me. Like, REALLY well. BUT I smoke too much now and it doesn't work as well anymore - I have to smoke a lot and it only keeps me high for a good 30-60 minutes. Plus, I can't get that prescribed - I've discussed marijuans pill siwth my doc before but they didn't sounds ideal. I know ativan is sort of similar but I don't know about that one - I liked it at first for the anxiety but it sort of fucks me up in the wrong ways, leaves me nauseious and dizzy.

What I am looking for is something that lasts typically a few hours - maybe 5 hours max - that will shut my brain down and make me dumb temporarily. That is what I want. When I start to get all worked up I want to be turned into a zombie. I love it. I absolutely love not having many thoughts like you would not believe. Maybe I want something that will make me feel super fatigued but that I can fight through and not pass out?

Any suggestions?

Oh by the way, as it stands, I can't tire myself out in the gym - that used to work and make me content to sit down and not do anything for hours afterwards but not these days. Nothing is slowing me the fuck down.

I was precribed klonopin in the military, and the reason I quit taking it was for the exact feelings you seek.

 

[Cal_21]

Shrooms/Highly Concentrated Hash Oil

or Salvia, it's legal too

 

[Nathan]

Shrooms/Highly Concentrated Hash Oil

or Salvia, it's legal too

Way ahead of you - only worked for so long.

Have I tried a qualified psychiatrist? Yes. Several. What I learned : It isn't to get a psych degree OR a job in the field. The only thing that ever helped was behavioral modification with my OCD.

Honestly, reading over the answers makes me feel EXACTLY like I am talking to a doctor. It's really obvious nobody knows the answer to this question - and there is no way any of you could but I guess I have that expecation to a certain degree with doctors. I'm pretty sure the docs don't know shit either and they just won't admit it. Why won't they just do what the fuck I tell them to? I'm tempted to go off and get a fucking medical degree so I won't have to go through all this shit - had I know it would come up this often and that I find it this itneresting, I would have gone into medicine in the first place.

Where the fuck is HOUSE when you need him?

 

[the_clockwork]

why don't you try shock therapy?

 

[heatherrae]

The problem is that they passed on a few genetic mood disorders - I got bi-polar disorder from my mom's side and OCD/anxiety from my dad's.

My mom was a compulsive over-eater and my dad was an alcoholic. Now, I'm addicted to rum cakes.


Okay, only kidding there.

 

[heatherrae]

nathan, why don't you just try to find reallypositive outlets for all that tension and energy? More drugs sounds like more problems to me.

 

[CrazyRussian]

OK Nathan I obviously don't know you but it seems like you have this "no one understands me" mentality. That in itself could be a problem. I doubt you have some mysterious problem that has never been seen before in the history of mankind. And therefore, since it probably has been encoutnered before, your "doctor" will be able to diagnose it and treat it. That's what psychs do. The idea that you know what's best for you is laughable because if you did...you obviously wouldn't be in the situation you're in right now. Again, a highly qualified psychiatrist who has experience dealing with your problem will help you much more than you self-diagnosing and taking narcotics to temporarily dull your pain. You're completely unqualified to be doing that...just because it's your brain, doesnt mean you know whats going on inside of it.

I don't have my masters yet so I'm obviously not qualified to give you a diagnosis (no shit, this is EF.com after all), but you could have any of hte following:

Borderline Personality Disorder (dangerous and self-damaging impulsive behavior, unstable relationships, CHRONIC FEELINGS OF EMPTINESS, and dissociation)

or

Narcisistic Personality Disorder: (feeling of self importance, believing that you are special and that no one can help you, fantasies of power, strong sense of entitlement, lacks empathy)

or something else you and i have never heard of. anyways, youre probably going to ignore this post but I had a blast writing it so what can i say besides i hope u get better soon

 

[Nathan]

nathan, why don't you just try to find reallypositive outlets for all that tension and energy? More drugs sounds like more problems to me.

Nobody gets this. It's cool, thanks for everyone's insight - I appreciate it and I'm sure I just sound like an ass. I mentioned to my mom and her friend (who is also bi-polar) about what the doctor told me to do and they both laughed their asses off and couldn't believe he thought I'd actually do it. I still can't believe I even considered it. You just don't terminate a manic phase. It doesn't make sense to anyone who gets them - because they know the alternative.

I guess the bottom line is this: I'll do anything to never again feel like I did from ages 12-20 or so. I'd rather shoot up heroin from today until it kills me in a couple years. I'd trade in a lifetime of being miserable for two years of feeling good in a second. So when people say try no drugs, I get very freaked out. That is the one thing that did absolutely NOT work for me in the past. Never worked for my mom either. Or her sisters. Or my cousins.

 

[Nathan]

OK Nathan I obviously don't know you but it seems like you have this "no one understands me" mentality. That in itself could be a problem. I doubt you have some mysterious problem that has never been seen before in the history of mankind. And therefore, since it probably has been encoutnered before, your "doctor" will be able to diagnose it and treat it. That's what psychs do. The idea that you know what's best for you is laughable because if you did...you obviously wouldn't be in the situation you're in right now. Again, a highly qualified psychiatrist who has experience dealing with your problem will help you much more than you self-diagnosing and taking narcotics to temporarily dull your pain. You're completely unqualified to be doing that...just because it's your brain, doesnt mean you know whats going on inside of it.

I don't have my masters yet so I'm obviously not qualified to give you a diagnosis (no shit, this is EF.com after all), but you could have any of hte following:

Borderline Personality Disorder (dangerous and self-damaging impulsive behavior, unstable relationships, CHRONIC FEELINGS OF EMPTINESS, and dissociation)

or

Narcisistic Personality Disorder: (feeling of self importance, believing that you are special and that no one can help you, fantasies of power, strong sense of entitlement, lacks empathy)

or something else you and i have never heard of. anyways, youre probably going to ignore this post but I had a blast writing it so what can i say besides i hope u get better soon

lmao, dude I am telling you don't understadn for a reason. If we're both convinced we're right we won't get anywhere/ I was diagnosed last week by a trained psychiatrist. For the fifth or sixth fucking time in my life. Same diagnosis every time.

Note how the people I am telling don't get it are the people telling me to back away from drugs. Just because you see marijuana as a rec drug does not mean I do - I've spoken to my doc about having it prescribed but it only comes in pill form for my purposes......


Fuck it. You're right. I'm in a mood and no one will get through right now. As for the no drug shit though, the doctor told me that wasn't an option. I wanted to do behavioral modification or something for the mood stuff like I did for my OCD but it doesn't work. They said get used to meds - which is where problems come in since I have had very bad reactions to things I've been prescribed in the past. But no drugs is even worse.

Did any of that makes sense. All I asked was for some examples of some drugs with short half-lives that make you drowsy/sedate you. And everyone told me not to use drugs., which frustrated me since that would be AMAZING. I tried it. I spent quite a few really unhappy years as a result.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

I have stories I could tell as well, don't you worry. If you want to compare who's made the worst calls sometime, I'd be happy to.

And I'm pretty sure abandoment has nothing to do with it - I had great parents. The problem is that they passed on a few genetic mood disorders - I got bi-polar disorder from my mom's side and OCD/anxiety from my dad's. You and I are very different cases from the sounds of things. I've been seeing doctors about this shit since I was like 13-14.

And my addicition is not to painkillers - it is to marijuana. I am getting help is the whole point, for the billionth time. I guess my issue is that I think I'm smarter than doctors and no longer trust them - when it comes to mood stuff, they SUCK. Like, they have no idea what they are doing almost. In fact, I feel more qualified than a lot of them at this point. I explained to my psychiatrist what I went through as a kid and frankly, it looked like she FINALLY understood it after like 30 years of schooling. Wtf?

I got through my OCD on my own more or less - I had to figure it all out for myself. No one told me it was cropping up at stressful periods in my life and that it was my brain's way of diverting my attention via millions of obsessions and compulsions from whatever was REALLY bothering me. Instead I was thrown on like 6 different types of meds over the years, some of which made me insane and violent. You ever had delusions of grandeur? It's kind of scary.

I was gonna say you sounded like you were bi-polar. Probably have trouble finishing things too? That sucks to have to be dependant on drugs to make you happy, but I can't judge. I drink and used to smoke a lot. I've battled depression this last year with my divorce, but still find a way to be happy with myself and my place in life.

I know that must be tough for you though.

I say smoke up a few times a week and then take a break for a few days. It will intensify the high for you and give you something to look forward to, while being good the rest of the week. Kinda like a reward. You know working for the weekend sorta.

 

[Nathan]

I was gonna say you sounded like you were bi-polar. Probably have trouble finishing things too? That sucks to have to be dependant on drugs to make you happy, but I can't judge. I drink and used to smoke a lot. I've battled depression this last year with my divorce, but still find a way to be happy with myself and my place in life.

I know that must be tough for you though.

Thanks dude. And yeah, that's about it. It's not my life or some stimulus causing the problem, it's my brain. It doesn't work like most of the rest of the population's or so I am told.

I do have trouble finishing things, especially while manic. On the other hand, things like dating are like gravy in this state. Fuck, right now though that's the major problem - getting anything the fuck done.

Sorry about the divorce dude - but glad you are content. That's what counts.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Thanks dude. And yeah, that's about it. It's not my life or some stimulus causing the problem, it's my brain. It doesn't work like most of the rest of the population's or so I am told.

I do have trouble finishing things, especially while manic. On the other hand, things like dating are like gravy in this state. Fuck, right now though that's the major problem - getting anything the fuck done.

Sorry about the divorce dude - but glad you are content. That's what counts.

Edited my post with a good idea on smoking. My make it a bit better for you.

 

[abolish the weak]

just do what most people do and go rent a fucking movie or something if your bored.

 

[heatherrae]

Nobody gets this. It's cool, thanks for everyone's insight - I appreciate it and I'm sure I just sound like an ass. I mentioned to my mom and her friend (who is also bi-polar) about what the doctor told me to do and they both laughed their asses off and couldn't believe he thought I'd actually do it. I still can't believe I even considered it. You just don't terminate a manic phase. It doesn't make sense to anyone who gets them - because they know the alternative.

I guess the bottom line is this: I'll do anything to never again feel like I did from ages 12-20 or so. I'd rather shoot up heroin from today until it kills me in a couple years. I'd trade in a lifetime of being miserable for two years of feeling good in a second. So when people say try no drugs, I get very freaked out. That is the one thing that did absolutely NOT work for me in the past. Never worked for my mom either. Or her sisters. Or my cousins.

Well, you were complaining of boredom. Now you are elaborating that it is a manic phase, which isn't really the same as boredom. Mania is pretty common, I think. Surely your doctor could figure out some things to try for the mania if your pot fixes aren't cutting it anymore.

The marijuana pill idea doesn't sound all that bad to me. At least it won't wreck your lungs.

I don't know. I hope you get better, is all.

 

[CrazyRussian]

lmao, dude I am telling you don't understadn for a reason. If we're both convinced we're right we won't get anywhere/ I was diagnosed last week by a trained psychiatrist. For the fifth or sixth fucking time in my life. Same diagnosis every time.

Note how the people I am telling don't get it are the people telling me to back away from drugs. Just because you see marijuana as a rec drug does not mean I do - I've spoken to my doc about having it prescribed but it only comes in pill form for my purposes......


Fuck it. You're right. I'm in a mood and no one will get through right now. As for the no drug shit though, the doctor told me that wasn't an option. I wanted to do behavioral modification or something for the mood stuff like I did for my OCD but it doesn't work. They said get used to meds - which is where problems come in since I have had very bad reactions to things I've been prescribed in the past. But no drugs is even worse.

Did any of that makes sense. All I asked was for some examples of some drugs with short half-lives that make you drowsy/sedate you. And everyone told me not to use drugs., which frustrated me since that would be AMAZING. I tried it. I spent quite a few really unhappy years as a result.

Understood. I can understand your POV, I just have a hard time in general acceptign the fact that doctors can't help you. Is your condition really impossible to treat effectively? You said that you got the same diagnosis every time, and that behavior modification wouldn't work for it..but u never mentioned the exact diagnosis. w/e i guess thats not important

Have you tried Ambien? Half life is only a few hours. And I also used to toke quite a bit but you havta consider the depressing effects MJ has after you smoke it...made me hella depressed for days afterwards, still does actually. Anyways I sympathize with you because my mom has had a fucked up nerve in her back thats been keeping her from walking for years...shes been to so many doctors, taken so many drugs...and nothing helps her. once again I hope u get better

 

[heavy_duty]

Thread of the week.

 

[macemj]

Look bro,

I've taken it all. Mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety, anti-depressants, mixture of all, and WEED to try and feel FINE and FIX what "they" said to be ADD, Bi-polar, or anxiousness. Well, let me explain something to you. Boredum, manic, anxiety, and all other feelings that make you feel out of place or just plain not good can be handled easier than I thought or YOU think.

First, look at the man in the mirror. If your not happy with him, don't read the following because thats where it all starts. Every one has different DNA, thinking, emotions, action-reactions, ect., but, thats what makes the world GO ROUND. Every one has positive and negative traits, but, thats why we have friends who we are fond of (different things we respect and observe).

Secondly, after you realize all you have is YOURSELF, and all you can do is root for the guy in the mirror, you can finally move forward in a positive fashion.

To become HAPPY and feel fulfilled in terms of production(lack of boredum) you must:

Get an everyday positive routine. Find other hobbies to keep busy, ones which, you find thoroughly entertaining or passionate about (like masterbating with both hands while playing pickup sticks with your feet). Something. Next, make a task list/goal list, shorterm and long term. COMPLETE THEM! Also, find some one or something inspiring and become obsessed with it/them. Take time to learn from others and study successful people. I bet you find such a person very even keal and content.

Next, come to the realization of exactly what your brain is actually lacking. Is it focus? Anxious or depression? Only YOU know this. Find the remedy. For me, I was anxious. I always had a very fast mind and had million things raceing upstairs. So, with an XR wellbutrin and 1/4 xanax in the morning and 1/4 in the afternoon, I became extremely focused and chill at the same time. BINGO. Frankly, I had a HUGE increase in my sociabillity, creativeness, and just all around self collectiveness in day to day operations.

Final thought:

"The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving"

ask yourself "which is the most universal characteristic, FEAR or LAZINESS?"

These are quotes from a movie called WAKING LIFE. A movie you should consider rolling up a fatty or filling up the bong and sit down and watch. All about the different aspects of life (people, thoughts, politics, art, dreaming, and just plain old brilliant thinking.

Just my 2 cents
Good luck Cuz!

 

[blueta2]

the boredom comes from identity disturbance. lack of nurturing and mirroring as a child. you CAN NOT fill this with hydrocodone or benzodiazipines. they dont MAKE enough of them to fill this abandonment wound. you dont have to stay on drugs for the rest of your life. nathan i had a 100 mg a day habit on hydromorphone(5 times stronger than morphine) i robbed drug stores and worked in organized crime ring bad scripts and doc shopping. my life was horrible and empty. if i told you what i been through you wouldnt believe it. i have been sober for 19 years own a multi million dollar biz happy marriage with kids. aint sayin its a bunch of roses but its 1000000% better than used to be. DO NOT give up. get help and work toward recovery.

this would be my answer....less all the fancy talk

 

[blueta2]

Scientology. They will straighten you right up.

 

[Nathan]

Thanks so much guys - the last few posts were VERY helpful. And I actually REALLY liked the smoking only a few days a week idea - I'm going to do that for sure. That is my goal over the next few months - cut it back to 4 days a week, then maybe 3. I hav e been able to do 6 but usually it's 7. Thanks Turd - that was seriously a great suggestion that I think would work really well for my personality.

And my diagnoses have been as follows:

- Obsessive compulsive disorder (I was 13 when first diagnosed, but it is not a disorder right now in and of that it isn't interfering with my life - doesnt' take up 24 hours, 7 days a week and I can do other things)
- Bi-polar disorder (13 when first diagnosed, then again at 15, 17 and 20, as well as confirmed by various docs in between)
- Social Anxiety Disorder (I was19 or 20 when I first got diagnosed with that but don't have it anymore - it was right after first year and kicked off two shit years for me after I got over 3-4 months of pneumonia)
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (I was 20)

And there you have it - my history of mental illness. lmao. Sigh. The only thing that qualifies as a disorder right now is the bi-polar. I am so far from social anxiety disorder right now it's retarded - I go in and out of being social and I have been all about doing stuff this summer. I also go in and out of dating but when I do date I tend to do well by my standards. Like, I didnt' date at all since September and then got back into it come spring and now am like reeeeeeaar (my impression of braking noises).

The types of meds that have been suggested so far tend to make me tired all day long. I don't want that. Obviously that will work - I could just cut back on the sleeping too. What would be better is if I could pop the pill towards the end of the day when being tired would be beneficial. I'm not altogether unhappy right now - hence my reluctance to fuck with my current state of mind. I just find I get intense and worked up easily, and don't care for that and would like to cap it (it's sort of like ADHD I guess, so ritalin might be the best thing to be honest). If you were to put me in the octagon right now, I'd hurt somebody. I'd die probably, but at least I'd hurt them before they killed me.

 

[blueta2]

And my diagnoses have been as follows:

- Obsessive compulsive disorder (I was 13 when first diagnosed, but it is not a disorder right now in and of that it isn't interfering with my life - doesnt' take up 24 hours, 7 days a week and I can do other things)
- Bi-polar disorder (13 when first diagnosed, then again at 15, 17 and 20, as well as confirmed by various docs in between)
- Social Anxiety Disorder (I was19 or 20 when I first got diagnosed with that but don't have it anymore - it was right after first year and kicked off two shit years for me after I got over 3-4 months of pneumonia)
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (I was 20)

.

Dude, I totally sympathize with you b/c I suffer much of what you do (as does a large portion of the population), but ALL of that can be cured and controlled SANS drugs.
I'm gonna get flak for this but too bad. Drugs is the easy/weak way out.
Take what you need to get through a panic attack etc, but the need to self medicate daily is unhealthy and will makes your life worse than it is now.
It takes strength to face life w/out being high......find some strength



HT to rip me a new ahole in 3. 2. 1

 

[roadwarrior]

omg

we are so much alike, except for the coolness factor for which i accelerate.

I just got some xanax. I only took one, and it MAY have given me a sense of well being and relaxation, OR i was just relaxed and feeling good, which does happen a lot.

vicodin is a wonder drug for me. makes me feel good- both physically and mentally. Even if i wasn't feeling bad in any way before- i just suddenly feel... better.

I love being high, but it's not always convenient or legal. i hate that.

Geez... Stilleto and Nathan could both be describing me... I get bored easy, have gotten into trouble with too much recreational drugs when younger, did a little time over doing battle with the world, love being high. I only smoke weed now and only that at home when all my work is done for the day. As Nathan says... it shuts my brain off for a few hours. I avoid boredom with lots of work, rebuilding old motorcycles ( HD, Triumph, Moto Guzzi so far), restoring my old house, a bit of gardening, cooking, lifting... and my favorite training/ sparring with my sensei. Try that one Nathan... kills boredom, keep you thrilled for hours afterwards, and you won't even think of getting high when someone is throwing leather at your head.

S

 

[jh1]

I didn't read any of this, but cocaine will solve all your problems.

 

[myway]

Thanks so much guys - the last few posts were VERY helpful. And I actually REALLY liked the smoking only a few days a week idea - I'm going to do that for sure. That is my goal over the next few months - cut it back to 4 days a week, then maybe 3. I hav e been able to do 6 but usually it's 7. Thanks Turd - that was seriously a great suggestion that I think would work really well for my personality.

And my diagnoses have been as follows:

- Obsessive compulsive disorder (I was 13 when first diagnosed, but it is not a disorder right now in and of that it isn't interfering with my life - doesnt' take up 24 hours, 7 days a week and I can do other things)
- Bi-polar disorder (13 when first diagnosed, then again at 15, 17 and 20, as well as confirmed by various docs in between)
- Social Anxiety Disorder (I was19 or 20 when I first got diagnosed with that but don't have it anymore - it was right after first year and kicked off two shit years for me after I got over 3-4 months of pneumonia)
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder (I was 20)

And there you have it - my history of mental illness. lmao. Sigh. The only thing that qualifies as a disorder right now is the bi-polar. I am so far from social anxiety disorder right now it's retarded - I go in and out of being social and I have been all about doing stuff this summer. I also go in and out of dating but when I do date I tend to do well by my standards. Like, I didnt' date at all since September and then got back into it come spring and now am like reeeeeeaar (my impression of braking noises).

The types of meds that have been suggested so far tend to make me tired all day long. I don't want that. Obviously that will work - I could just cut back on the sleeping too. What would be better is if I could pop the pill towards the end of the day when being tired would be beneficial. I'm not altogether unhappy right now - hence my reluctance to fuck with my current state of mind. I just find I get intense and worked up easily, and don't care for that and would like to cap it (it's sort of like ADHD I guess, so ritalin might be the best thing to be honest). If you were to put me in the octagon right now, I'd hurt somebody. I'd die probably, but at least I'd hurt them before they killed me.

I always hated smoking pot. It made my body feel slow and my mind was still fast. It made me REALLY uncomfortable.
I have been on a gazillion meds for a gazillion reasons. My parents sent me to a ton of shrinks. None of them shared the same opinion of what I had or didn't have EXCEPT for my sleep disorder. They all agreed about that one.....so it's the only thing i choose to medicate. Well, can't take anything since i'm pregnant...but only a few more months until I can get back on my pills and enjoy a long, non hypnopompic SP or insomnia defeated nap. Only a few more months. yeah.
Just keep looking around. Unfortunately, you may need to try several docs before you find the one that is right for YOU. Good luck.

 

[Smurfy]

You ever had delusions of grandeur?

You're having them right now.

 

[Smurfy]

Have you tried going to a decent, well-qualified psychiatrist? I think that'd be a better and more permanent solution than popping handfulls of pills a day for the rest of your life.

a psychiatrist will prescribe him meds. that's what they do.

 

[Smurfy]

Dude, I totally sympathize with you b/c I suffer much of what you do (as does a large portion of the population), but ALL of that can be cured and controlled SANS drugs.
I'm gonna get flak for this but too bad. Drugs is the easy/weak way out.
Take what you need to get through a panic attack etc, but the need to self medicate daily is unhealthy and will makes your life worse than it is now.
It takes strength to face life w/out being high......find some strength



HT to rip me a new ahole in 3. 2. 1

Nathan, Listen to Bluether here. SHe will change your brain chemistry with scientology, a vitamin, and a home remedy of banana peels, parsley, Karo syrup and flax oil.

 

[blueta2]

Nathan, Listen to Bluether here. SHe will change your brain chemistry with scientology, a vitamin, and a home remedy of banana peels, parsley, Karo syrup and flax oil.

Hey, don't be a fucking smart ass. I was joking about scientology.
I've been suffering for 24 yrs and I have successful experience with my issues without taking meds.
Like you said in the other thread......are u a professional?

try to help a guy and you have to be unkind!

 

[Nathan]

Dude, I totally sympathize with you b/c I suffer much of what you do (as does a large portion of the population), but ALL of that can be cured and controlled SANS drugs.
I'm gonna get flak for this but too bad. Drugs is the easy/weak way out.
Take what you need to get through a panic attack etc, but the need to self medicate daily is unhealthy and will makes your life worse than it is now.
It takes strength to face life w/out being high......find some strength



HT to rip me a new ahole in 3. 2. 1

True of everything BUT the bi-polar disorder. If you got control of it, sorry hun, but it was never all that severe in the first place. I certainly don't mean to be rude, but you just gave away that you don't have it and never did. If you suffer from it and hear somebody say something like that, you just want to fucking punch them. It's almost like somebody telling you how horrible being crippled is and then somebody pipes in with, "I know exactly what you mean, I sprained my ankle once."

I don't mean to downplay your issues, but we aren't talking about the same thing when it comes to teh bi-polar. Everyone has these tendencies. It's called a DISORDER when you can't control it and it takes over your life. Like, OCD was a DISORDER for me when I was opening up doors with pieces of paper for fear of contamination, washing my hands 50 times a day until they bled, showering an hour everyday (everything also has an order that can't be broken or you have to do it all over again), counting every letter my eyes saw until I'd get headaches and yet couldn't stop (man, that one got tedious), doing weird walking patterns, etc. The list went on and on. It was a disorder then and took up all my time. Now, I get irritated if something isn't "exactly" the way I want it but it's not a disorder since it isn't LITERALLY consuming every single second of every single day and I can ultimately dismiss the thought. Before it owned my ass.

As for the anxiety stuff, you are ABSOLUTELY correct and that is exactly how I tackled it and how I would recommend tackling it. Behavioral modification. I understand anxiety very well right now I feel like - I cannot however control my moods.

 

[Smurfy]

Hey, don't be a fucking smart ass. I was joking about scientology.
I've been suffering for 24 yrs and I have successful experience with my issues without taking meds.
Like you said in the other thread......are u a professional?

try to help a guy and you have to be unkind!

simmag down sister. no need to get all pissy. someone didnt take her meds today.

 

[Nathan]

Nathan, Listen to Bluether here. SHe will change your brain chemistry with scientology, a vitamin, and a home remedy of banana peels, parsley, Karo syrup and flax oil.

lol. Hi smurfalurf. How's lummy? Tell him I say hello and want updates on etl. Man, he's got shit going on. DETAILS. I'm bored over here.

 

[blueta2]

simmag down sister. no need to get all pissy. someone didnt take her meds today.

Why do u talk like a "dude"....look I won't simma down. You are nice with me one day and the next a total bitch.

No, I took my fucking flax and a fucking vit and I feel great......brutha. You are bi polar for Christ sakes!

 

[Smurfy]

Why do u talk like a "dude"....look I won't simma down. You are nice with me one day and the next a total bitch.

No, I took my fucking flax and a fucking vit and I feel great......brutha. You are biplor for Christ sakes!

lol. i think you're having a mood. you're name-calling and everything. very strange.

 

[Smurfy]

lol. Hi smurfalurf. How's lummy? Tell him I say hello and want updates on etl. Man, he's got shit going on. DETAILS. I'm bored over here.

I'll tell him you said "hello and i lust after your man body".

 

[blueta2]

lol. i think you're having a mood. you're name-calling and everything. very strange.

yeah, I'm strange.......

 

[jh1]

I saw this blue / smurf show down coming a mile away.

 

[Nathan]

I'll tell him you said "hello and i lust after your man body".

Perfect.


I'll close this thread so help me you two... And seriously, what are you even arguing about? You both know a great deal more than you are giving each other credit for. Trust me.

 

[blueta2]

Perfect.


I'll close this thread so help me you two... And seriously, what are you even arguing about? You both know a great deal more than you are giving each other credit for. Trust me.

I wasn't trying to argue, but for some reason (and maybe she can explain it), she replies to my posts in such a disrespectul and belittling way.
Maybe her passive agressive replies come out wrong...who knows!

 

[Nathan]

I wasn't trying to argue, but for some reason (and maybe she can explain it), she replies to my posts in such a disrespectul and belittling way.
Maybe her passive agressive replies come out wrong...who knows!

She talks like a dude, so you nailed that. And eats like one. Kind of looks like one too. I'm kidding smurf is a beauty and a breath of fresh air. But yeah, total dude in a woman's body.

I think you misunderstood her but if not, I'm lost. I think you're too girlie and smurf is too butch with your online personas - they probably won't mesh well so be kind to each other and leave 'er be. I'm also basing that entirely on the last few posts you both made on this thread - which means ignore the comment completely.

 

[Smurfy]

Perfect.


I'll close this thread so help me you two... And seriously, what are you even arguing about? You both know a great deal more than you are giving each other credit for. Trust me.

lol Im not arguing. she just got pissy with my sarcasm. that's her deal, not mine.

 

[stilleto]

Geez... Stilleto and Nathan could both be describing me... I get bored easy, have gotten into trouble with too much recreational drugs when younger, did a little time over doing battle with the world, love being high. I only smoke weed now and only that at home when all my work is done for the day. As Nathan says... it shuts my brain off for a few hours. I avoid boredom with lots of work, rebuilding old motorcycles ( HD, Triumph, Moto Guzzi so far), restoring my old house, a bit of gardening, cooking, lifting... and my favorite training/ sparring with my sensei. Try that one Nathan... kills boredom, keep you thrilled for hours afterwards, and you won't even think of getting high when someone is throwing leather at your head.

S

well i'm not ever bored. ever.
not in a room by myself with nothing for hours.

but, i do like traveling to other... 'levels'. i know this sounds grossly 'new agey', which i HATE, but when i was growing up, that's the way my dad described it. To bring out my creativity, which of course, it does. when i was younger, i got to those places in my head with hallucinating and being constantly high. Now- i have WAY too many things to deal with in real life to even be partially out of it very often.
smoking some pot- well that allows me to be in both worlds and not have to worry about all the stuff I would worry about if i did something stupid and I don't have to worry about my life spiraling out of control or hurting anyone/thing, etc.
To me, its like having a beer, but goofier.

other things, like vicodin or xanax, well those are just 'feel good' things. its something i can take if i want to so i have a really good day without knowing why kind of thing. i DON"T take them often though, because more important than feeling good is the health and safety of me and my family.

nathan, i know you're single and don't have a family to worry about, but... self medicating is a tricky thing if you're also dealing with real issues. i think you're better off letting a doctor help and maybe supplementing it with ... well with smoking some pot once in a while to relax.

 

[heavy_duty]

Chi control and meditation - lots of zazen

 

[Raptorex]

Likely you have Body Dysmorphic Disorder and would benefit from behavioural therapy of which there are only a handful in the country. However there is a published book.

 

[PICK3]

I saw this blue / smurf show down coming a mile away.

 

[Nathan]

nathan, i know you're single and don't have a family to worry about, but... self medicating is a tricky thing if you're also dealing with real issues. i think you're better off letting a doctor help and maybe supplementing it with ... well with smoking some pot once in a while to relax.

That's what I'm doing. I just need to make the pot once in a while and I think I'll be better off. I am single but let me tell you, girlfriends aren't always the easiest thing for me. I'd like to think I have a few things going for me which makes me tolerable to women, but I have been up and down in the past like a chick (no offense to women but it's a strange dynamic when you're the dude). I get self-conscious about it more than anything. I guess I used to push people away more because of it - lots of off and on crap in the past with girls who had similar personalities, which was not a good combination.

I think I'm a lot better now with the current gf - I make an effort to catch myself when I'm in a mood. Actually, this girl is really even all the time and so far I am finding it helps chill me out a lot. I'll have bad days, go see her and end up in a much better mood. I just need a couple more girls like this for when the gf is busy and I should be good all the time.

 

[velvett]

I am so sheltered.

 

[Nathan]

Velvett - Sheltered? You mean good to go? And hi.



Man, reading over all that, I lost it today. I apologize if I came across disrespectful to anyone - I certainly didn't mean to. Frustration, you know?

 

[blueta2]

lol Im not arguing. she just got pissy with my sarcasm. that's her deal, not mine.

Let me refresh your post to me. You did post to me first correct?!

"Nathan, Listen to Bluether here. SHe will change your brain chemistry with scientology, a vitamin, and a home remedy of banana peels, parsley, Karo syrup and flax oil"

Now you were saying something about sarcasm. Yeah it was my deal.

 

[Gymgurl]

the boredom comes from identity disturbance. lack of nurturing and mirroring as a child. you CAN NOT fill this with hydrocodone or benzodiazipines. they dont MAKE enough of them to fill this abandonment wound. you dont have to stay on drugs for the rest of your life. nathan i had a 100 mg a day habit on hydromorphone(5 times stronger than morphine) i robbed drug stores and worked in organized crime ring bad scripts and doc shopping. my life was horrible and empty. if i told you what i been through you wouldnt believe it. i have been sober for 19 years own a multi million dollar biz happy marriage with kids. aint sayin its a bunch of roses but its 1000000% better than used to be. DO NOT give up. get help and work toward recovery.

Im going with this!

 

[Raptorex]

do you only respond to women, if so maybe you should entitle your threads "women opinions only"

 

[Nathan]

do you only respond to women, if so maybe you should entitle your threads "women opinions only"

Turd, crazyrussian, roadwarrior (via PM), cal_21, layinback, etc.

I won't lie, I probably tend to prefer to talk to women cause they are on average nicer to me I guess, which is probably the same with every dude. I like dudes who are as nice to me every bit as much though of course.

Now I'm wondering if I DO preferentially respond to women.

 

[LiquidPhire]

omg

we are so much alike, except for the coolness factor for which i accelerate.

I just got some xanax. I only took one, and it MAY have given me a sense of well being and relaxation, OR i was just relaxed and feeling good, which does happen a lot.

vicodin is a wonder drug for me. makes me feel good- both physically and mentally. Even if i wasn't feeling bad in any way before- i just suddenly feel... better.

I love being high, but it's not always convenient or legal. i hate that.

haha I couldn't agree with you more, I am perscribed percocet every few months and waaaay too many klonopins a month, to the point i dont even take them anymore because I forget EVERYTHING, but the relaxation/calmness is good!