What expectations do you have...

[nycgirl]

Just remember this....IT DOES GET BETTER!!!

I live by that saying and believe it or not, it really does...eventually!!

Yes, it does. Great advice, Fiesty.

Whenever I start to bitch and plan my pity party, I try to force myself to think about the people out there that would love to be in my shoes right now. Those that cannot afford their own place and live on the streets, people that go hungry every day, those that don't have family and friends that care about them, etc. After putting things into perspective I realize, that I'm living a pretty good life.

 

[Eringobraugh]

nothing, never again

 

[DieselGunz]

Great post nycgirl, I live by the same principales myself

 

[habitualhealth]

someone who gets me, understands the possible nuance behind what i say,
often sees what i see, and knows how i often think and feel, without necessarily
having to discuss it.

someone who sees greatness in me, even though i may not see it myself

someone that awes me, and is awed by me. or, someone to whom i am
at least a partial mystery, and vice versa.

someone who makes me want to be a better person*

someone with whom conversation becomes more than just a way to pass the time.

someone who is full of contradictions, as i am myself.

*yes, the line is stolen from As Good As It Gets

awesome post! If you aren't married or havent found that person (everyone)
Do you ever wonder if that person really exists for you?? (i do)

My wife is my biggest fan, as I am hers. This goes along way.

She is my best friend first, wife second. God knows where I would be without her and my girls.

Honesty, brutal, candid, honesty.

and this post gives hope to mine above

a 50/50 split in feelings, and love

actually a 110/110 but that isnt mathematically possible.

(but would be ideal)

best post ever

(can't believe i just said that to a "dunk" post )

 

[DieselGunz]

Yes i do, just not in my immediate area

i have met some amazing woman but one that has it all is hard to find. They might have the body but the mind and MORALS are very important also. To find that right combination is not easy to find but well worth the bad dates to finally find her.

 

[seizer]

awesome post! If you aren't married or havent found that person (everyone)
Do you ever wonder if that person really exists for you?? (i do)

and this post gives hope to mine above
best post ever

(can't believe i just said that to a "dunk" post )

Habitual, on the topic of expectations, I have found a girl that is very much what I want and vice versa...however, the only one thing as of now that stops me from taking our friendship to the next level. Her age. Now I know you are a believer in age just being a number, but she is 17, I am 19 and I guess that could be danger territory...but I really like her alot. We think so much alike that it seems like we have esp. Do you think its bad to want to persue someone underage even though all the circumstances for a good relationship are met?

 

[seizer]

Habitual, on the topic of expectations, I have found a girl that is very much what I want and vice versa...however, the only one thing as of now that stops me from taking our friendship to the next level. Her age. Now I know you are a believer in age just being a number, but she is 17, I am 19 and I guess that could be danger territory...but I really like her alot. We think so much alike that it seems like we have esp. Do you think its bad to want to persue someone underage even though all the circumstances for a good relationship are met?

It's weird to, because she's partly depressed with life...and somehow that attracts me to her. It's like, I wanna help her...I wanna be the reason she looks forward to waking up everymorning and can smile. She tells me already that her life is much better since she and I became friends but I just wanna take it the next level and have her feel completely one with me and the world...have her feel happy as she should. Sounds kinda sappy, but it's rare that you find people that make you feel that way.

 

[habitualhealth]

Habitual, on the topic of expectations, I have found a girl that is very much what I want and vice versa...however, the only one thing as of now that stops me from taking our friendship to the next level. Her age. Now I know you are a believer in age just being a number, but she is 17, I am 19 and I guess that could be danger territory...but I really like her alot. We think so much alike that it seems like we have esp. Do you think its bad to want to persue someone underage even though all the circumstances for a good relationship are met?

Bad? No. How long has the getting to know process been? When does she turn 18? You never know the outcome until you try something. I would be careful about the underage thing. Not playing the mom card or the black cloud but you never know what people are really capable of. I would hate to see you in a situation where some girl (under age) took advantage of HER position or age with you. Proceed with caution. But have fun doing it. *mommy mode off*

 

[jackangel]

17 and 19? that's totally fine, if you're asking for an opinion based on morality or quality of character. but as a practical matter, i don't see a problem in being discreet and cautious. you can spend time developing a general relationship with her, and if you do get physical, you can either choose to go only so far for the time being, or go all out, but with extremely low-key style (assuming you've determined that she's not nutty or vindictive and liable to burn you). in any case, if there's magic between you, definitely don't let it fade. there's always some risk involved. that's how you know that you're alive*.

when you see a way, take it.


























* this bullshit has been brought to you by the people at Word Int'l.

 

[habitualhealth]

It's weird to, because she's partly depressed with life...and somehow that attracts me to her. It's like, I wanna help her...I wanna be the reason she looks forward to waking up everymorning and can smile. She tells me already that her life is much better since she and I became friends but I just wanna take it the next level and have her feel completely one with me and the world...have her feel happy as she should. Sounds kinda sappy, but it's rare that you find people that make you feel that way.

OK! Retracting previous statement!

Please read this carefully....YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE. I think it is VERY dangerous for anyone to get involved with someone thinking "i can help them or change them or what have you". Very not good sweets. Gosh, my dad has this great hobby in life....it's called marriage. He's on his 5th wife and I can honestly say 4 of the 5 have begun with this mentality. She's down or sick or whatever....he's the knight and shining armor to come rescue her. I will pull the age card here and say that you are FAR TOO YOUNG to be dealing with that mentality in a relationship. I just think....and feel free anyone to pipe in here if i'm wrong....but, I think there are women out there...perhaps even legal....who have it more together and could bring more to the table for you to "work with" so to speak.

If she is not happy without you....she's never going to be TRULY happy with you. It will be a facade. You may pacify her mental state when you're around....but when you're away...the depression will still be there. My suggestion.....while still in "friend mode" I would encourage her to talk to someone...even if it's her parents....to get past the depression or help controlling it. As her friend, she's going to be more receptive to you. Mommy's $.02.

My dad is clincally diagnosed manic depressant....trust me, you do not want to wear that burden or pressure on your back. I still to this day am "responsible" for my father's existence. (so he says) But he's predominantly a negative in my life because that's the only thing he knows. He feeds off of my mental stability, my strength, focus, drive....all the things he lacks. But he doesn't change. Very few cases in the world does the postive person bring the negative out of their depressed state.......it's more often you see the negative/depressed person who sucks the life out of the positive and therefore bringing them down as well. You have to be a REALLY strong person mentally to maintain your strength in situations like that. If you haven't done it....i suggest doing some research on depression. So you can understand her better and also understand what your role should be for her.