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What are some fun ways to interview/quit.

OMGWTFBBQ

OMGWTFBBQ

brobe
If you were looking to leave whatever your current job is, and therefore interviewing around for different jobs - what are some fun things you could do in the interviews to keep them on their toes.

Then, by some miracle, say you got a job offer out of it and you had to leave your current job - what are some creative ways you would leave that position.

The easy answers are always "drunk" and "take a shit on..." - but let's think outside the proverbial box.

Put your thinking turbans on and give me something to laugh about.
 
I would simply walk around the office with my penis hanging out of my zipper hole and act like nothing is wrong.
 
I always thought it would be great to go into an interview discussing the legacy of Adolph Hitler and how his rise to power has inspired your will to succeed.

In reality I used Theo Epstien as an example in my interview to become one of the younger mangers at my company.
 
HighIntensity said:
I always thought it would be great to go into an interview discussing the legacy of Adolph Hitler and how his rise to power has inspired your will to succeed.

In reality I used Theo Epstien as an example in my interview to become one of the younger mangers at my company.
Click to expand...

:)
thank you for nearly making me choke on my lunch
 
KillahBee said:
I would simply walk around the office with my penis hanging out of my zipper hole and act like nothing is wrong.
Click to expand...

My penis is far too small to ever allow me the hope of getting out past the zipper's teeth.

I could hang a banana out though and then peel it during meetings.
 
OMGWTFBBQ said:


My penis is far too small to ever allow me the hope of getting out past the zipper's teeth.

I could hang a banana out though and then peel it during meetings.
Click to expand...

that's a much better idea.
 
Imagine walking around the office with a banana hanging out. Then in the middle of a round table discussion you just lean back and peel it all sensual and then bend over and struggle to eat the thing in the meeting.

The key point would be to look up with a "what?" look on your face.

NB - the two things that did it for me in the HI post was that he was funny and that Hitler is always a good call when discussing anything in interviews.
 
During the interview, talk a lot about your extreme hatred for
whatever group, ethnic or otherwise, the interviewee belongs to..
 
During interviews:

1) Fart, then look around and point blank and with a straight face ask what that noise was.
2) Ask if being good looking helps.
3) Take a phone call and in the interviewers presence tell the person on the phone that this jobs ‘in the bag’
4) At the end of every answer add – but you already knew that (sarcastic) right?
5) Ask if pants are required, and if they are, why?

Leaving the position:

1) Just don’t show up at all, don’t take their calls either. Make lots of promises first and take on as much work as possible. Then weeks take a day off of your new job and show up to the old one as if you never left.
2) Grow the Hitler mustache and march when you would normally walk.
3) Make really loud annoying noises while you work, really loud random screaming works well.
4) Call a phone sex line and put them on hold, then forward the call to coworkers mailboxes.
5) Refuse to work at work. Bring in your xbox and hook it up to the monitor and ask your boss if they want to play against you, but you aren’t going to let them win.
 
Start distributing pamphlets about the end of the world around work, and start asking people to accompany you to nature retreats so you will be able to live off berries and creek water until jesus comes back. If anyone questions you about it stick your fingers in your ears and say 'satan comes in many forms' over and over again until they leave, then go back to distributing pamphlets.
 
Ask if you can sell amway out of your office during the interview.

In leaving a job, ask your boss if he has a good hook up for some solid herb.
 
If the Interviewer has Diplomas up on the wall, ask them
how much they cost ..
Tell them you know where to get them dirt cheap..
 
Holy shit I am laughing and my coworkers are asking what is wrong. I told them that my friend had something horrible happen to him and then I started choking while I was saying it.
PERFECT

They probably wouldn't be too surprised with any herb references since so many people here are into that stuff.

I would consider, or already do, a lot of these.
Especially the part of just never showing up again after taking on too much responsibility.
 
OMGWTFBBQ said:
I would consider, or already do, a lot of these.
Especially the part of just never showing up again after taking on too much responsibility.
Click to expand...

I just call them contractors.
 
I have four guys comming in for an interview today.

What should I do while interviewing them.

"Just so you know this job requires you to be inside a self cleaning oven for three hours a week, is that o.k. With you?"
 
I like to stare at bodyparts of the interviewee when giving interviews.
Doesn't matter which ones since if given enough time any staring becomes awkward.
Especially if it is something just slightly out of line with their eyes - like say one ear.
 
I used forehead and eyebrows a lot.

Y_Lifter, ask them if they would take a drug test. Then give them a cup to pee in. Wait. Then take the cup pull a fast switch and drink away.
 
HighIntensity said:
I have four guys comming in for an interview today.

What should I do while interviewing them.

"Just so you know this job requires you to be inside a self cleaning oven for three hours a week, is that o.k. With you?"
Click to expand...

Ask them if they are a cop, after they say no produce some fake documents for them to sign that say "i swear under penalty of purjury that i am not affiliated with any law enforcement agency in any way"
 
The guys who work for me ask all the time, "do you do steriods, like Arnold."

WTF

I fired two of them.
 
I've actually tried the one where you tell them some extraordinary
job duty as ask if that is ok with them..

You can't immagine how many will say yes just to get a job..

In an IT Support/developer area interview

Making Coffee / Picking up Danish every morning for us Managers

Dusting and Emptying everyones trash cans in the desks in your area
 
at some point during the mid-morning hours, walk up to your boss' office, stick your head into his office and tell him that you have to take a shit the size of his wife's ass and that you've had your calls temporarily forwarded to his number because you're expecting an important call. run immediately into the stairwell next to the elevator and hide. earlier that morning you paid several Mexicans you met at the contruction site on the walk to work to call your number at a preset time and shout a bunch of questions in spanish that contain your full name and are interrupted by heavy coughing and screaming at people in the background.
 
At the interview- go in with your laptop, turn the EF website screen towards them and say "THIS is what I`ll be doing all day" and have them read your stories.

Leaving current job- go in with your laptop, turn the EF website screen towards them and say "THIS is what I HAVE been doing all day" and have them read your stories.
 
My bosses are all older women and on just one occasion I came up in a G just barely visible above the top of my pants when I was sitting at my desk and they completely wigged on me. Got a 30 minute "coaching" session in the big boss's office. Now they make a point of reviewing my clothing every single morning for appropriateness.

I'm certain I could get canned with a quickness by coming in with a tank and no bra especially considering my piercings that would be visible. It'd be a funny way to go out.
 
Y_Lifter said:


Who the hell does all the Construction work and Landscaping
then ?
Click to expand...

Legally you have to be a local to do that (born or married into life here).
Lots of druggies and/or alcoholics in those fields.

Although landscaping seems to be more Portuguese, they came in here to farm and then have expanded and done very well.

The two new groups to come in are the Phillipinos - nannies and resteraunt workers, and then the guys from Bangledesh that can't get jobs there due to being Christian.
 
Leaving:

Walk around the office and whenever you see someone chatting or obviously not engaged in serious walk in and snap your fingers in their face and say "Hey. HEY! I'm not paying you to socialize/surf the net/talk on the phone. Get to work!" Also works at random jobsites such as construction, service industries, etc.

Interviewing:

Lick your lips suggestively while looking the interviewer straight in the eye.

After about 2 minutes interrupt the interviewer and say "Lest just cut the shit and get down to brass tacks. When do I start?/How much are you going to offer me?"

When they call back to offer you the job just start screaming "Show Me the Money!" over and over again.
 
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