Werd, what happened

[Robert Jan]

Don't keep us in the dark... How did the hearing go?


Those that don't know- She's in a conflict with an abusive ex over the children and a decision would be made in Friday.

I understand that whatever happened you have other stuff to do now than post on Elite.

 

[rpol]

I second that lady, whats up?

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I have been wondering myself. I hope all is well.

 

[Robert Jan]

bump.

 

[juiceddreadlocks]

to the top

 

[Smurfy]

eh

 

[Robert Jan]

+1...

 

[rpol]

Bump

 

[The_Ghost]

Hope all is well!!

 

[jenscats5]

Chiming in -- hope all went well!

 

[Robert Jan]

to the top

 

[RottenWillow]

Well the butthole ex husband's parental rights were terminated. Werd now has sole legal and physical custody. And for those who dont already know, Werd and I are now long distance "partners". The kids will be visiting me every other weekend.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Well the butthole ex husband's parental rights were terminated. Werd now has sole legal and physical custody. And for those who dont already know, Werd and I are now long distance "partners". The kids will be visiting me every other weekend.

Really she got sole custody? That is so awsome! Werd I am so happy for you and the girls!

 

[Werd]

Not quite.... Anya was just trying to make me smile.

There is good news, very good news... but it is moot unless some very real obstacles can be overcome.

I appreciate everyone's concern. Honestly I do...

But I just don't have words anymore.

I want to post up all kinds of thoughts as I had in the past when I felt the web had allowed a vehicle to disseminate "personal" information in a totally anonymous fashion. However, as many of you know this false sense of anonymity has led to an unbelievable amount of personal pain in my very REAL life.

I want so much to gleen support but I feel the risk of asking for it is not one that I am strong enough to take.

I am very tired. No one can truly understand how I feel because unless you are a mother who has been separated from her children for any amount of time you can't realize...

I don't ask for sympathy or understanding or anything.

I have some very real delimas that I will find solutions to one way or another. You are all very kind for your attention and I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

I want to post up some little peptalk for myself about how I am going to fix this because there is no other option, but it does me know good.

Ultimately, what will be, will be....

I am human and riddled with defaults. But for better or worse, I am my children's mother AND father. My only hope is that I can successfully rise to the occasion.

 

[Y_lifter]

You said "Gleen"

 

[Robert Jan]

It sounds like you haven't won this war yet but you've won an important battle

 

[Werd]

Thanks very much...

The judge said, "I want to reunite these children with their mother." and denied every single one of my ex's legal request - does not make him look good on paper AT ALL so this thing is finally beginning to turn around. HOWEVER, there are so many obstacles that I just don't even know how to approach. It is very daunting....

Because I laid down and gave him everything, I now have nothing and I can not care for children with nothing.... He is not legally obligated to help me care for the children financially unless they are in my custody. But I can not have custody until I can care for them financially myself... It is a ridiculously vicious circle.

I am trying very hard not to lose faith, but it seems like I will never see the end of this. As a result of all this my kids have suffered tremendously and I have all but lost my mind.

The psychological evalutations (that cost me over 3K$) proved that I was honest and not nuts as he told everyone I was. He on the other hand was proven for the sick lying motherfucker that he is. HOWEVER, I can't have the kids if I can't financially take care of them. He doesn't have to give me a cent until I have the kids. As a matter of fact I have been ordered to PAY HIM!... Oddly enough though, only for a few weeks... I paid my childsupport UPFRONT that is why I left the marriage with nothing. However, because I was moving and never had intentions of coming back to US soil - wanted my kids to live with me someplace far away from him - that little fact was never written in exact terms in the final decree... only strange "holes" as to why I would have settled things like that.

I was entitled to: lifetime alimony.
1/2 of a lucrative business
1/2 equity in a home
2 years back childsupport.

Got a VERY SMALL amount of cash (2/3 of which went to a lawyer!).

Does that seem right to anyone?

Of course not. But to say it is not enough. It must be proven in black and white.

 

[Scotsman]

That's a huge problem with the legal system here. Everything is circular you can't have A until you have B but to have B you need C and C is part of A. That's what lawyers are for to find loopholes not to actually uphold the law.

Best of wishes with you travails and I earnestly hope that all will be well with you soon.

Cheers,
Scotsman

 

[Robert Jan]

I can imagine you are reluctant to ask for support, but do you have any friends or family members that have enough and you are close enough to to borrow money and they would not keep you in the ballgrip over it for the rest of your life?

I imagine that would hardly convince the judge either.
What it all comes down to, is you need, ASAP, a job that will make enough money for you to house and support yourself and your children?

I imagine the law only demands there to be enough for housing, clothing, food and school and all the luxuries are none of their concern?

What's your game plan?

 

[Werd]

I do have a job - I barely earn enough money to pay rent for a 1 bedroom apartment. I didn't finish college - didn't work outside the home, stayed home with the family and helped to support our business for my entire marriage. I have had very favorable response to my artwork and literature but honestly, I stopped submitting about 2 1/2 months ago as all my energy got sucked from me not having my kids and fighting in court.

I have now taken a night job, but will then have even less time with my children.

My credit has been impaired because of my ex - and am having difficulty being approved for an apartment. I live with my family, but because the house in under construction we can not all live their. My family has OVER extended themselves both spiritually, emotionally and financially - they would give me ANYTHING in a hearbeat (they already have!) - but they are tapped.

I have no friends and refuse to accept money from men. When I do date, I date very wealthy men but will not take a dime as I don't want to be "owned". Call me crazy, but that is just how I am.

I have serious trust issues so I dont even date anymore.

I am in a very difficult situation and don't know how I will see the end.

I can't even go to a doctor because A - I can't afford it and B - if the courts find out the extent of my illness, I will NEVER regain custody so slowly my health deteriorates.

Once I can get my work publishes and freelance, etc it is VERY realistic for me to be able to support myself AND my children in this fashion. But getting "there" from "here" is just something that I don't know how I am going to do.

 

[Robert Jan]

You are actually physically ill yourself right through this all this time?
What does your psychology counsellor say about that...

Anyway it sounds like you need to be trying to get published. Only if you are sure they are not just pulling your leg though.

Fucked I can't help you

 

[Werd]

You are actually physically ill yourself right through this all this time?
What does your psychology counsellor say about that...

Anyway it sounds like you need to be trying to get published. Only if you are sure they are not just pulling your leg though.

Fucked I can't help you

Yes, I have some issues to deal with.

No, my work is extremely good - very original and the response is genuinely good. I believe it in 100% as those who have seen it do. Velvett and BigDawg have seen one of my completed works. I had also made a gift of an original illustration for Bfold...

The few that I have submitted to were genuinely interested, but one publisher backed out (after verbally promising me publication in 4 languages) after he could not receive the backing of his partner (They did not primarily publish children's literature.). My artwork is very well-received as it is very fresh, original and commercially appealing but I haven't generated any work in nearly 3 months.... I lack the hardware in order to convert the finished originals properly, also in need of some photoshop time... not impossible obstacles, just "one more thing" to add onto my "to do list". Imagine though bearing the unimaginable mental pressure of having an ex that is hellbent on destroying you while he keeps your children from you - punishing THEM for loving you. I am trying so hard, but I feel very tired and worn down... I won't lie.

It is very hard to stay focused and break into a field that I have no education or contacts in when you are ill and fighting just to keep your whits about you. Not impossible.... just very very difficult.

 

[out_at_sea]

Yes, I have some issues to deal with.

No, my work is extremely good - very original and the response is genuinely good. I believe it in 100% as those who have seen it do. Velvett and BigDawg have seen one of my completed works. I had also made a gift of an original illustration for him...

The few that I have submitted to were genuinely interested, but one publisher backed out (after verbally promising me publication in 4 languages) after he could not receive the backing of his partner (They did not primarily publish children's literature.). My artwork is very well-received as it is very fresh, original and commercially appealing but I haven't generated any work in nearly 3 months.... I lack the hardware in order to convert the finished originals properly, also in need of some photoshop time... not impossible obstacles, just "one more thing" to add onto my "to do list". Imagine though bearing the unimaginable mental pressure of having an ex that is hellbent on destroying you while he keeps your children from you - punishing THEM for loving you. I am trying so hard, but I feel very tired and worn down... I won't lie.

It is very hard to stay focused and break into a field that I have no education or contacts in when you are ill and fighting just to keep your whits about you. Not impossible.... just very very difficult.

Just wanna wish you good luck ......you are a brave lady.....

 

[Werd]

Just wanna wish you good luck ......you are a brave lady.....

Thank you... there are many days though, that I just don't feel that way. Frankly, I often feel substandard.... feel like my kids deserve better.

Rober Jan - CLEAN OUT YOUR DAMNED BOX! LOL

 

[Robert Jan]

dun. Your kids deserve the best but that does not make YOU substandard in any way you're doing the right thing. Make that distinction at all times

 

[Werd]

dun. Your kids deserve the best but that does not make YOU substandard in any way you're doing the right thing. Make that distinction at all times

LOL YES DAD!

I oughtta print that out and tape it on my computer screen, fridge, bathroom mirror, etc... a little "self-help" note.

Really, thank you for your kind sentiments. I was feeling very down the past few days and you really helped me...

 

[velvett]

Well the butthole ex husband's parental rights were terminated. Werd now has sole legal and physical custody. And for those who dont already know, Werd and I are now long distance "partners". The kids will be visiting me every other weekend.

I'm jealous.

Hmmph

 

[The_Ghost]

Werds work is excellent, so people keep on her to get it out there as it is very unique!!!

 

[velvett]

Once I can get my work publishes and freelance, etc it is VERY realistic for me to be able to support myself AND my children in this fashion. But getting "there" from "here" is just something that I don't know how I am going to do.

You'll get there.

 

[The_Ghost]

You'll get there.

AMEN

 

[Werd]

You'll get there.

...From your lips to God's ears.

I just want to give my kids a life like I DIDN'T have. Meaning one that is free from yelling, screaming, fighting, belittling, abuse and emotional abandonment. I want to give them choices. I want them to be strong and have a healthy self-image; to realize that THEY MATTER and the world is a better place just because they are in it.

I never EVER want them to feel that they are nothing the way that I had been made to feel since I was just nine years old. My kids are something truly wonderful. I am so blessed to have had them in my life, to drive me to be a better person. Not a day goes by that I don't tell them with my words and show them with my deeds.

I am everything I am because I have been fortunate enough to be blessed with their love. This is why I am working so hard, but there are so many times when I think that I am just not enough.

Yes, of course, I am biased but everyone who meets them says how magical and grand they are. Honestly, they have such fine qualities: smart, funny, kind and just deep down decent people. And hell yes, they annoy the bejeebers out of me at least 50 times a day, but all I have to do is think back to how it felt when I thought that I would never have them and in an instant my patience is endless.... This separation has changed us all. I fear that we might never be the same. We are all of us sad. Odd, even people who didn't know me before I was separated from my kids would remark that even though I have a very pretty smile and hearty genuine laugh that erupts often, I have a constant underlying tone of sadness. It is the same with my kids. I don't know if we will ever recover. We have moments when we forget about how terrible our lives have been, we remember how it used to be before... and then we are reminded that things ARE the way they are and we go back to our sadness. When my kids sleep with me I break the night up between their beds... I am waaaaaaay too old to be climbing in and out of bunks at 2AM! LOL

OK... I'm talking too much again.

Thank you to everyone for all of your kind words. I know you all might find this hard to believe, but it truly made me feel just a bit better. Even if it was only for a little while...

 

[rpol]

Lady at least it is looking up I was beginning to worry, just stay focused and have faith and you will get there. You work hard and do good work, so eventually it will pay off. You've just got to keep as much faith in yourself as your friends have in you lady, I have confidence you will get them back and get back on your feet.I'll keep you in my prayers, Be Well

 

[starfish]

What kind of artwork do you do? You should come to Laguna Beach and sell it. It's known for it's artists. I love going down there and looking around.


I can't wait to start buying some.

 

[Werd]

What kind of artwork do you do? You should come to Laguna Beach and sell it. It's known for it's artists. I love going down there and looking around.


I can't wait to start buying some.

I work in a very unique collage style format. The end result is always different as I am totally self-taught. My work is not limited by "formal education" as I have none... just something I told myself that I could do if I wanted to badly enough. Some of my illustrations are VERY 3-D springing off the page from all sides as well as the front while others are essentially flat but only give the appearance of 3-D as there is depth and shade created by layers of thick paper which lends itself amazingly well to the medium of print and computer screens.

ALL of my work is geared towards children. It is bright and bold, simultaneously simple with details in the oddest places. But as everyone was once a child it is recieved well by most. Some of the highest compliments I have been given have come from adults who had VERY unhappy childhoods. They said that though they have no real pleasant memories themselves when they see my work, they feel a sense of happiness and comfort. Some have even said they can hear music and smell the smells of childhood; things like candies.

Everyone always asks me, "How do you do that?"

My honest answer?

"I don't know... I just can."

When I had a small exposition of my work in the area of the Louvre (very small place at Palais Royal) many who came to celebrate an adult birthday party said that my work set the tone PERFECTLY....

My first completed book that I had both authored and illustrated (a children's picture book) deals with the very grown up topic of death. So far it is the work that I am most proud of.

 

[Robert Jan]

Sounds good

 

[starfish]

Sounds good

It does sound good. Maybe, one day she will show us.


I love original artwork by local artists. My kitchen in decorated in artwork I got while on vacation in Key West. love it..

 

[Werd]

It does sound good. Maybe, one day she will show us.


I love original artwork by local artists. My kitchen in decorated in artwork I got while on vacation in Key West. love it..

I am working on just how to do that....

 

[Robert Jan]

im curious